Living a dream reality

Good early early morning,

It's 3:30 am. and I'm trying to make donuts.....

Yeah. So anyways!

I wanted to talk about what else I'm doing....or rather what I do often. And that is live while always thinking...of course!

I'm guessing by now this isn't a surprise.

But I always think "Am I living to my fullest?" Then I'd think over that thought "Well....what is this "fullest" anyways??"

So that doesn't go anywhere *shrugs*

So recently I've been telling myself to just go for it! No use sitting and wondering.

For example, if I just want to sit at home and play The Sims 3 for a day. Why the heck not! So I do it.

When I take breaks, or just lounge around the house I use to feel guilty about doing it.

But I realized that I need to learn to relax and just....be! During school I would work so hard. I'm always multi-tasking. Then I would start to feel frustrated at who-knows-what. Then I'd think "just watch a movie...take a break."

I personally hate being unproductive. I have to use my mind. I feel if I just sit in front of a t.v. all day my brain will turn to mush. So I watch videos that are informing. Or something. Just anything but just sitting and letting my brain rot away lol

As a child I....hm...nope. As a child I remember swinging from doorknobs and experiment with mixing household chemicals or taking apart a game console. I guess not much has change lol

Hm...Also, I do remember my mom told me that in elementary they recommended putting me on renalin. She said that someone at the school told her that I needed it. In all honesty, I don't think I was super hyper. I just enjoy being. Sometimes some people can make crazy assumptions.

Anyways, I enjoy watching videos where people talk about interracial dating. I think it's awesome! To me, it's like a gateway to removing biased attitudes towards other races. Cultures can mend and people can began to understand each other.

And actually, I find myself wondering where I will be a few years from now. I don't plan things like "I will get married at this age. Have children at this age. Do this and this at this age!!"

That's not really my style. But I do think like this "I wonder if I will get married....Hm...Will I have children? Will I adopt? Giving birth looks painful!!"

It's nothing unique.

Oh! And with school. I'm still iffy. I'm starting to realize more and more that it's my choice. I feel that I should go for it. As long as I have a pathway, I'll go for it. I can't say what will happen. I was worrying to much...mainly because of my previous experience. However, I'm telling myself that if I DO go, GO and don't stop!

It's a choice I'm making. Don't stop. Once you feel you're making the right choice. But I also feel like I have a lot of things I'm interested in.So I don't think I'll just be choosing to do one thing in the future.

One thing I know I want to do is a marathon walk or something. Something to help with a cause. It will benefit me by me getting out of the house and walking for a reason. I don't usually leave if I don't have anywhere to go. Usually if I want to just enjoy being outside, I sit in the backyard. It's pretty spacious.

For the most part I stopped feeling bad about being unproductive. There's a lot of things I can do indoors. Besides a lot of the things I enjoy can be done inside. Such as read a book, paint write a story dance etc.

Also because of the summer heat I prefer to stay indoors. I'm an autumn-winter kind of gal. Oh! And Spring. But the heat makes me crazy. >__<

Well, that's not to say I don't enjoy going out. I really don't like visiting the same place over and over again. Visiting it maybe about 3 times is fine, but I don't like going so often. It gets very boring to me. For example, shopping for clothes in the same place. But going to the same salon is fine. I always wanted to become a regular at a salon lol

Y'know, maybe I've grown immune to moving. Growing up my family and I have always been moving from house to house. But it's always been in the same state. But I guess I enjoy being in different places. I've gotten use to it. I really love looking around at the view!

Hm...but I would like to live in a house someday where I will be able to know my neighbors names. Or grow old and have people wave to me from beyond my fence and say "Hey!"

I feel like it will be. But I have so much time ahead of me it's exhausting just imagining what I'll have to go through to get to that point! hahaha But I like Simon Cowell's thought on enjoying moments getting to the point you're trying to reach.

Well, the donuts are done....they don't look like donuts lol I hope my mom and sister will like them. I like the way my mom's came out. I ate most of them hahaha she walked into the kitchen and said "Hey....what happened to all the donuts?" and I told her "guilty..."

Well, it's 5 minutes till 4 a.m. It's past my bedtime once again.......I should really follow through on a good bedtime.

Mon