Going back to my old school

I'm nervous to go back to Ai.

But in this situation it's either, go back to Ai, complete my major and start paying off my loan. Or stop now and pay off  the 3 thousand and something dollar loan amount I have now (which isn't much) while trying to struggle to find a job before December.

I spoke to the woman at the school I will be attending now. She said I would have to be going to the school for 2 quarters before I can work on campus.  I hope those words were true.

I just had a tough experience with getting to and from school. It didn't seem like I had much support.It was very tough!

Hm....also while attending there I started to question if I really wanted to do this. Usually things aren't they way I imagine them. I don't want to make it to the end and be disappointed. I'm not sure if I even want to work for a company.

All I know is I want to help in some way. But I don't want to be restricted or forced to stay indoors all day.

I believe this is normal. I just wonder where I will end up from here.

I don't think the adult life is difficult, it's people who think it's difficult, that makes it difficult.

I still feel the same. I don't feel "adult-like", it's more like you have responsibilities that your parents would otherwise, been taking care of. But I think if a child can grow up with the thought "I want to do this when I get older" and have the support they need from loved one, it wouldn't be difficult.

They would have a general idea. And even if they change their minds, they will still have it in their mind that they can do whatever they pleas. The sky is the limit. It's vast and nothing is impossible.

I think, with this decision, since it involves money that I don't have at the moment, I won't worry about that. I'll just go! And keep going and don't stop!

I already said this before. Once my foot touches the base, I'm going for it.

I do wonder often will my life get better when I finally move out. I'm sure I won't have much to pay besides rent. I don't watch very much t.v. (that can be solved with netflixs haha) I don't use the telephone unless it's for calls from people or from schools. So gas would be the most important. That and rent. I don't need anything extra.

All I simply say is give me a job, and I'm set. I can save money and start over again.

I'm just gonna have to keep waiting. I don't believe I've been abandoned.Nope. I feel they are still here. I'm still happy from time to time. But sometimes I worry. I won't lie. I think to myself "am I wasting time?" but I have to have faith. I'm sure they won't abandon me. They never do abandon us.

Plus, my family and I have been through worst. I can handle this. It's just I hate being disappointed. But the good thing about this is I can learn to get over it.


Anyways, I hope your day is going well. Always remember, you are just as important as everyone else. No one is more important than another. It's your experience is different from that other persons'. And that you have a different lesson to learn than that person. Even though it seem harsh, you still have not been forgotten or abandoned.

I always think of it like this, Jesus was said to be poor. But he always had faith. I'm sure, because he was human, he was a little weary, but having faith in yourself and that everything is working the way it should be, should at least give us the strength we need to keep going.

Good luck!! Although I can't see you, I wish you the best!

Mon