09.08.12

Hi~

I can't think of a title, so maybe I'll just post the dates when I can't think of one.

So! Someone I know recommended this website to me. I'm not sure how it works （*´▽`*)  but she recommended that I write out my thoughts regardless of whether people agree with them or not.

I have to say, I agree. It really shouldn't matter. It makes me think of how one person stood tall against the majority, and they gained support for their bravery. The supporters, hiding in the shadow, watched in amazement, this person stand tall and say all that they wanted to say, but didn't have the strength to.

So first, I would like to say "thank you" to her! And also she's introduced me to some very nice people that she knows. We've never met in person, however, I feel connected even knowing this fact.

Strange enough, I feel people don't feel quite as restricted when sharing online, than in person. Maybe because they subconsciously pick up cues from the listener. Well, I feel much more restricted when online haha I am the opposite! But, it's much more the same in life as it in online for me. I'm always considering "Is it okay to say this?" "Is there a better way to say this?" At least online I have much more time to think. I can pause and find a way to word what I mean. However, in life, in real time, things are much more excelled. Once you say something, those words are not just your words anymore. People make them their own.

This is why I've kind of halted in speaking to others. That doesn't mean I don't speak, but I listen to try to understand better. Understand their words better, because then it may help me with my communication skills. To speak and know how to communicate what I wish.

Well, I'm rambling! Okay, why don't I start with introducing myself.

Please call me "Mon", it is a name people I know from Japan have made for me. It's a shorter version of my name. I'm 22. And everyday, I am always thinking. Always wondering. Always questioning. Not just the world and the people, but also myself.

Why? I'm not sure haha I just do it. Sometimes it's quite annoying, but I know I can shut it off. But I realize maybe it's what I want. Does this help me in life? Hm....I'm not really sure.

Well, besides questioning, I like classical Chinese music, and beautiful garden scenery. I recently visited the Botanical Gardens with my sisters and a friend of my sister's and I really loved the Zen Garden and the Japanese garden.

I love things like that! I enjoy seeing scenery. I even love my own backyard. It's a very open space, but the shadows of 5 trees shade in just the best places!! And although this house is kind of falling apart, I love the backyard! haha

I like candles and incense. I love collecting beautiful object, such as vases with lovely pastel colors, or with bold elaborate designs. I have this tea set that my older sister gave to me maybe a year or two ago that I haven't used yet. It's a peach color with a cardinal on each of the cups.

I like to drink tea and water. I recently tried Vanilla Chai and absolutely loved it *__* ♥

Hm....I draw and I've painted before. At the moment I'm working on my own manga. Hm....if I was more serious about my ability in art, I would work harder at it. However, I spend more time reading and thinking than doing art. I've had teachers say I have potential, but I have to focus  and be more consistent. I'm not doubting them, but I don't want to take my art too seriously. I don't want me trying to hone it as best as I could.

So, why am I deciding to blog? I typed that above didn't I?

Well, if you're patient enough to sit and read through my rambling, I would be very thankful.

I will warn you through, my mind if always flopping from one thing to the next.

Haha And actually, I've had people tell me it's difficult to keep up with me in a conversation! I couldn't help but laugh. I apologized. And they explained that I would start with something, they would be engaged in the conversation, and I would suddenly move on to something else! It would be so quick they wouldn't be able to process how it happened.

Well,  I know one thing is for sure, they may not have gotten bored lol they and I would never know where the conversation would go next.

So, ^^ Maybe I could learn to focus my thoughts in one direction. So maybe these blogs can help me out with that as well.

So, I would like to thank this dear person to me, for guiding me towards this blog website!

Also for always reading through my very long emails that seemed to be a chapter of a book. I admire people who have the patience to deal with my mind. I kind of have to say "thanks" to myself for having patience with myself hahaha

Oh! And one more thing, I would like to say to whoever reads this, you are just as grand. Please don't think that if I talk about myself I'm placing myself above you. If I mention many things that I do, do not think I'm more talented or have much more of a life than you. Do not envy me. Do not think "I wish I could do that." etc. I'm not trying to sound like I'm saying "I AM BETTER THAN YOU." No, I'm simply basing off of experience where people have said "You are so good at___. I wish I was." No, please do not say that to me. Please keep that to yourself. I do not like people degrading themselves. It's painful to me.

If, however, you are trying to find something in yourself that you can't see, and you'd like to share a story with me, I will gladly read it and give you my view on the situation if you want me too. However, I'm not sure if I could help.

Okay okay! I'm starting to wonder what I'm saying hahaha Well, depending on how I feel, we shall see. If someone post something for me, and ask a question, I will view it and reply back.

So yeah lol sorry, I'm saying strange things.

Mon