A sudden thought

I just got this sudden though from reading this article, I will post it once I state my thought.

My thought was: what happens when something intense goes on inside of us? It comes out right? Kind of like an explosion.

I thought about the disasters that have been happening. Most of the most difficult ones seem to be by humans. Natural disasters are like the explosion from the Earth from holding to much inside. So much intensity from the surface.

Hm...there's this thing called grounding. I'm not sure if it's different for everyone, but it's when you send the old energy down into the planet's core. Could that energy be building up? Also with all the energy being tossed around here, would that be building up?

One thing I've come to realize is that during the most intense time, it's like a test of faith in one's self. It's like an "end" is coming near in terms of letting go of past luggage.

Why do I say this? Well, I think it was last year, I had these very intense feelings. It was very disruptive. I felt completely alone and paranoid. It was horrible! I thought "will this end!?" For the most part, I wonder if it's over. However, my mind has a bit more peace than before, that much I can say.

But why am I saying this, now this is only my theory, but what if it's the same with Earth. The disruption, and then the explosion, and then,what we consider to be, the "end", and then the peace.

You see, we can make this harder than it is, or make it a bit more easier by making choices. I read an article where, not just in America, but in other countries people are sending in their worries about how the world will end on the 21st and that they will commit suicide.

Now let me tell you, from the many books I've read and articles I've read dealing with reincarnation, life on the other side, things people have told me, when you commit that act, you will be sent back instantly. You will have to start off where you left off at. Is it worth, if you will survive, throwing your life away? Why not finish what you can, and if it happens it happens.

At some point, I hope people come to accept death as not something that is bad. I guess it's because there are these statements of judgement, being tossed to hell, etc.

I have read accounts that people do see these like demonic like figures when they astral project, but it's do to their thought or minds that these things appear. The judgement I believe is done by our own self. When we go to the other side, we are our biggest critics. I've heard accounts that souls, for the most part, know what they could have done better in certain areas of their life. But the one I most often see if that a soul will feel bad about committing suicide. They will admit that life is very tough. And as souls, we are in a state of bliss and that things don't seem to be difficult until we come here.

Hell, I think, is in our imagination. Why would God, a being who is all loving, and all knowing, want to toss you into such a place? If He is all knowing, He will know when you will make a mistake. There are no secrets. Everything is out in the opened with Him.

Now, as I don't claim a religion, I do enjoy the many stories from different religions. Even though I say this, I have a different vision of this ultimate creator. It came to the point where I would wonder should I use the word God? Creator? And in the end, it doesn't really matter. Because this Creator knows that I'm speaking about it. We sweat the small stuff. I sweat the small stuff. How should I do this? etc.  Contemplating ever little aspect of our lives, and then something "unexpected" happens! Oh no!

It's because we expect all kinds of things. And sometimes, those aren't the things we really "need" (to learn/ understand/ see) etc.

"So what, should I just sit like a rock and do nothing?" No. And why so much sarcasm when someone makes statements like this. Enjoy life! But know that when something arises, see it as an opportunity. When we go to school as children, we go to have fun, experience and well, play and have fun! We experience the happiness of being with friends, playing along with them, talking and laughing. But the real fun begins when we get a "pop quiz" when our teachers (guides) place in front of us a test. "WHAT IS THIS!? I WASN'T EXPECTING THIS!!" And that's why it's a pop quiz. To test our knowledge of all the things we've learned. To see if we "get it" yet.

If you don't "get it", it's okay. They don't hate you lol You go on your way. And soon they approach you unexpectedly again with the same quiz, but worded "differently" and you with the same thought "WHAT!? WHAT IS THIS??"

Until one day, you will know. You will look and know "Oh! I know how to deal with this!" and with a wave of your hand, you pass it. You get it. You understand it. And now you know it! Congrats, you have passed.

"Ohhh~! But why do you talk so matter of fact-ly(that's not a word is it?? lol)?" Well, let me tell you, for the most part I have been asking myself "who am I to be saying these things? Why should I?"

Then I came to the thought "why shouldn't I? I'm not trying to hurt anyone am I?"

My answer is "no", I want to help build people. To help them stand up when they just want to stay down. I'm not the kind of person who will be there all of your life. I will help you until I see that you don't need me anymore. And honestly, I've done this with people i know. I will just suddenly disappear, because they started to live their lives. "This person doesn't need me right now", it's not out of sadness that I think these thoughts. I'm a little happy and a bit relieved. But when I get a call, I listen, and we talk. It's great to hear from them! I've come to understand people will come and go out of our lives. Sometimes they are there for a small amount of times, maybe for some small karma, or they are there for a very long time to work out some past karma that may take a longer time.

Sometimes I wonder myself "do I really know this?" and as many times as I say "I don't know" these same feelings come up. At least in this place I know I feel accepted. And in the end I say "well, on the outside, it doesn't matter. I'm happy in this place. I'm accepted."

Like yesterday, I started to feel like I wasn't going anywhere in my life. I've found two ladies I went to school  with in high school. One is married with two children, and the other has I think 1 child (I saw a picture with 4 children, I don't know if they are her, but she did show one picture where she said it's her child) or two children. And then I thought that all this time I've been saying I want to get myself together, and now I want what they have just because lol I stopped. And I'm truly happy for them. I was bummed out, but I feel better now. :) I'm happy where I am. And yes, I still am working to learn some drawing stuff (that was my purpose in the first place. To see my images move, and write some stories that will touch people's hearts).

For the most part, I feel like in order to do one thing I have to sacrifice another. And that's not true. It's a matter of finding where I can place certain things in my life. For example, I like creating stories! But I also like to study new languages, I would like to learn to cook, and knit and crochet and all of these things. Soon I started to feel overwhelmed, and I realized it's because I felt that I had to do one or the other. And now I'm thinking "just space them out! Do fret it! Just do it when you feel like it. There is no rush."

And this is the massage. I don't want people to feel they can't believe what they don't want to believe. Please do. By all means, it's what makes the world interesting. It gives me something to read. But it does become a problem when it's instilling fear or negativity. I know negative things can't be completely distinguished. However, I feel like it gets the most attention. For example, a person could go on and on about how bad things are that they seem to forget how good things are too.

There are times when I would come across something where a person would go to another country, a country where the people don't have as much as us, and yet they are so darn happy! And the person would think "how could they continue to smile this this?"

Isn't that amazing?

So you see, we have things, it's just we forget where to look. Those happy things may be our memories for all time. Because if you lose that physical thing, it never disappears from your heart. From our subconscious mind. That place your soul knows deep inside.

Personally I find it sad that people fear God. It's really sad. Before I was way to nervous to turn to a higher power for anything. I went through that "but they may too busy to worry about me" mindset lol Yes I've had it too.  Of course I still don't ask, I just think "well, what are they gonna send me now?" lol just waiting, like waiting for a package. Just doing what I do and enjoy doing and just waiting.

But if I do ask, it's for things like "where did I put this item?" to which I would be able to find it (no surprise lately) and I would say 'thank you" even if I would continue to wonder if I just found that by coincidence or not.

Also my artistic rut has gone away. I felt like I had way too much in my head. And I needed a break to get all of the garbage taken care of. I still have a few things to deal with.

So you see, even with me saying these things, I have a load of things I'm dealing with too. It's mainly "me" stuff. Like inner stuff. Self acceptance. And although at the time I didn't quite get it, I'm getting it now. A friend of mines would say "you can't help anyone, until you can help yourself" and it's become more and more truer. And I would think "how will I know when I know myself?"

And my answer is this: When you know yourself, you know that when you are with a group of people, they can never pull you away from what you find to be right and wrong. When they say "You want to smoke" you won't feel pressured. You know who you are in comparison to them. Not that you are any higher, or any lower. That you are all the same. When you know this, you know there is no great race, Although we would like to be at the same level as other. Sometimes I believe we can even feel when someone is farther ahead of us, and we want to be like them. They may inspire us! And we know they are very close to finishing. But there is no rush. Just take our time~♪

Also you have this knowledge. It's kind of like an "I  know" kind of knowledge. Not in the sense that you're a "know-it-all" but more like because you lived it, you can understand, kind of knowledge.

I know that I may continue to make this mistake until I get it, but I always do this. Where a person would tell me something, I hear them, but I'm not really getting it. So I'm not listening. But has I experience what they may have experience internally, I would say "Oh! I get it know" and I would be annoyed if I told someone and they just don't "listen" lol because I would think "I didn't listen! But don't be like me! Get what I'm saying!" Because I want to help them. But they will get it. It's just the way things are.

Now, that's dealing with the universal system. The civilization system is a little out of whack. It's like we can pinpoint the errors. One guy stated it perfectly in one of his videos on youtube, "how can we be so advanced, but don't have a cure for a lot of things?" How is that possible? I don't think it's possible. I think it's on purpose.

Some people seek control. It makes them feel empowered. "People are following me!" they may feel god-like. But the answers are there.. And I think, they know this. But if people had the knowledge of how to do these things on their own, who would follow them? You see?

I've heard way to many times from some blacks that "the white man wants us to stay ignorant" and in my mind I have to not want to correct them aloud, and think in my head "what they mean is there are people who do not want people to know. People with Egos. People who are doing things the shouldn't"

It's not the "white man" or the "black man", it's a being. Not a color. The being inside, not the skin color. The skin color can't hurt us.

Besides, their are different races of people in office. So it's not just a one person kind of job. And besides, we give them that power. I think some people know they aren't giving them power. They know. They may shop at the stores, or use the medical insurance, but they know that those people are just like them.

Some things work, and some things don't. I think eventually, something will be done about the things that are corrupt.

Anyways, I'm going to play Harvest Moon. It's this farming video game lol I haven't played it in a whole year. My mom laughed at me for playing it, but I really enjoy this game.

Mon