Hi!
Yesterday I spent almost all day at the hair salon. I got there at 9 a.m. but didn't leave until about 4 p.m.
It was because the beautician thought my sister scheduled our hair appointment for Friday and not Thursday. So she didn't get to the salon until 10 a.m. And then it took forever after that. But in the end, I wonder if she believed me when I said "it's okay" because honestly it was.
I've come to realize that something become misinterpreted when communicating. Such as the meaning is taken the wrong, the wrong tone is used, or we hear something different than what is meant to be heard. This happens. I think it's best to just accept that sometimes we just don't hear things correctly. Either we are busy doing something or don't feel like listening.
Although stating those two facts may annoy me if someone had done it to me at this moment (because I would wonder if what I'm saying is unimportant) it's very true.
I know that sometimes certain people just become a bit insignificant to us once we've gained what we could. This would seem cold, but it happens. I'm learning that when I come to accept what is of someone, it rules out my expectations of them. I always believe people can do better. But my expectations of them being better may not be what they see in themselves.
I learned this because someone did it to me today. I will admit that often I may try to push something I learned on someone. Once I'm convinced that it may be true, I start the drilling lol So of course I say to myself "why the heck am I doing this?", and often times, it the person who doesn't even need that information. It's like a radar is on my head that points to some poor innocent by-standard minding their own business.
I guess I become so overwhelmed by the information I gained that I want to share it. However, that's not an excuse to lack in tact. Allow people to be who they are (but don't be dumb and let them get away with whatever they want).
Anyways, I'm gonna stop trying to make an excuse for my actions I view as "wrong." I won't say "but they needed help, so I gave it to them" because who told me that person needed help? Certainly not them. So why enforce something on someone else? Besides, I'm still working on my inner turmoil, I can't keep jumping into everyone else's inner war zone without at least bringing about peace in myself.
Anyways, the beautician, once again, was set out to tell me why I should read the Bible AGAIN. I told my mom that all the pressure to read the Bible by people I've known in the past, makes me not want to read it. I don't want to read it! It's not for me. I even told her I cried reading the Bible, and when I told her the reason why, she went on to explain how I was interpreting the Bible incorrectly and I had the wrong impression. :/
I ended up telling her how I viewed this Divine energy is based on what helps me. I view It differently then some of the people I know. To me, it would seem more metaphysical. I just find it easier this way.
But while she kept talking, I thought about myself and how I am. And I thought to myself 'poor people who had to deal with me" (mainly my younger sister lol)
But I agreed to continue to practice being tactful. Even if it's just a little bit. Learning to shut my mouth, even if someone says something I disagree with, could help me tremendously. It's like that saying where it goes something like "opening your mouth and removing all doubt..." or something like that.
Anyways, I just let her talk. I was listening to what she was saying, and some points did match up with what I believe in. So I thought that even though I chose not to "fear" what people call God, some traits are similar. Such as, yes, I believe he is all knowing, all loving. But I don't think he will banish people to hell for wrong doings. If that's the case we would all be in hell because I'm sure we've all done something wrong. Maybe a time out would be more appropriate than tossing someone in hell for all eternity. That's not all loving, that's just cruel!
I also found that I find it easier to be me if I can make simple statements like this. I simply think "well, if I think something and I say it, He will know. And if I think something and don't say it, He will still know" lol So in the end I just chose to say it. He already knows what I'm thinking lol Besides, I'm sure He has a sense of humor. A doubt of place of bliss will only cause a person to be angry at every little mistake we make.
It's kind of like if we fail a class multiple times, yeah,we'll get the talk, but at the end of the day He will still love us.
Also, I'm sure this may sound harsh,but I need to get it off my chest. I love Him and everything, but it really bugs me when people use Him and every little sentence. It's like, "okay I get it! He exist, can we please talk about you please!"
I even explained to the beautician how I've had people say I will go to hell. It's a shame. Who are you to make a statement like that. I once told a friend of mines that I don't believe there is a hell. She said, if you don't believe in hell then you don't believe in God. And I thought "ohhhhhh okaaayyy, why is that??"
That's like saying if I don't believe in Santa Claus, I can't celebrate Christmas. Or because I don't like to eat eggs, I can participate in an egg hunt.
*sighs* Well, I would never disown a friend over something so dumb like this. Of course I still like my beautician and my friends regardless of what they think. I just find it easier if we don't talk about it. Because it's a touchy subject for us all.
In my opinion, I'm sure He knows on earth we'll all have different ideas of who He is, or what kind of being He is. But maybe deep inside we all view Him in a different special way. Because each person is different, it would make sense that their view would be different too. But the one thing that we could agree on is that something created earth. Be it the Big Boom, evolving from apes, being created by aliens, everything started from somewhere. That we can agree I believe.
And I'm sure, that's enough for Him. Because we may acknowledge His existences in some way, shape or form.
Also, I find it like how a parent is special to a child in a certain way. Hm...I wonder if there is One kind of love there. Maybe their are many levels like here. *shrugs*
Well, I'm gonna get to bed. Tomorrow I hope I can work on my comic. I will be updating this weekend.
G'night
Mon
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