Hi~~~~
I'm still working on my paper....kind of. I did get most of it done, but now I'm watching videos on youtube when I suddenly thought "what would my perfect day be like?"
Well, it would start off like this. No alarm clock blaring in my ear! First and foremost. An absolute No-No. Also no loud talking or loud noises. *smiles* Ahhh~~ The peacefulness.
Then I'd eat, get dressed or whatever. The thing is, first thing in the morning, I don't talk much at all. I'm usually enjoying the morning.
Then I'd like to grab a latte or something. And if the weather if at about 70 degrees, I would be super happy. One of those days where the wind is very gentle. I would sit outside at a park or something and enjoy my latte and watching swans in the lake or something.
Then I'd hit the bookstore. I love the peacefulness in bookstores. I actually spent 2 hours in a bookstore once. There's just so many books out there!
Then I'd come home to enjoy a nice hot bath with some bath soak, bubbles and incense or candles *__* Can you say "OH YEAH!" because that's how I would be feeling.
Strange enough I would probably try to get some work done. But with a day like that, I'm willing to lend a ear for whoever.
Oh! And a great meal would be something different. I really like a certain kind of sushi. So that would be cool.
I also like shopping for home decor. *__* It's my favorite thing. But since I'm still (sadly) staying with my mom, I've only bought small things or received things as a gift. Such as cups, tea kettles, things like that.
But I like stylish stuff. But I like rooms to have a theme as well. I'm quite an organizer and I don't like small rooms. I have a load of clothes (which I still have to go through).
But if I had the storage, I'm super tidy.
Hm...I went from talking about my perfect day to talking about things I like.
Oh! And I also found out from my older sister that my mom was upset with me and said that if I go to my sister's house again, she doesn't want me coming back.
Honestly, this is the second time my mom has said that. The first time was when she was trying to force me to clean up her mess in the kitchen and I told her that I'm not her maid. My mom has this habit of thinking that because I'm her child, she can just force me to do things. I don't like that. I would definitely respect her more, if she wouldn't talk like I was some kind of inanimate object or an animal. I have feelings!
Anyways, I'll be going to my sister's house tomorrow evening. My mom hasn't said anything. But seriously all of the things she's saying doesn't make me want to stay around when I leave. I've had enough of it seemingly like I'm unimportant or just gum on the ground. I know my worth, and I know when someone's trying to make me feel unworthy. Like I can't do anything.
So I have another application. And I'll work on my resume tomorrow. I will get this job!! *__* I already sent in an application to the 2 places I would really like to work at. I will keep trying because I'm sure I could tolerate that kind of job above all else.
Personally I don't dislike my mom, I just dislike the things she says sometimes. She doesn't like for people to disagree with her. But anyways, I do care a lot for my mom. But I feel that she needs some time away from me. So fine whatever. I don't feel bitter about that. At the end of the day, there will be days when I'm off and away and she won't have to worry about things such as me.
But on a happier note, I'm kind of looking forward to the future. I'm a little antsy, but I'm looking forward to it. Mostly what I'm looking forward to are the happy days lol those difficult days could go kick rocks!
But of course I wonder what my life will be like. I'm sure I'll find my true passion in life above all else. Hm...as for sharing my life with someone. I don't know. To me, I don't see that as being completely important. But I would like to hangout at new places with people I know so we can experience it together.
Recently I'm having a tough time understanding that I don't have to feel insignificant being myself. But what's funny is no one seems to mind me being myself. Of course I don't say those kinds of things out loud. Like I don't ask people "is my hair okay?" or "Does this look okay on me?" because for one, I choose my clothes based on whether I think they look good on me. But it's more like I don't want to irritate people with my over the top behavior lol
For instance, I really like to play. I like to try to climb trees (but fail). I like things like playing in fountains or at the beach. But I get very nervous doing that around my friends. Mainly because one they'd be like "what's wrong with that nut?" and even though I say this, I don't stop being me. I just control my impulse to go running off and playing lol
Hm....so maybe I don't have an issue lol It's more like, I have strong impulses to do certain things, like start to sing out in the open, or on the train, but I'd stop myself out of respect to the other people who are driving the train.
Well, I just talked about 3 different things in this one post.
But I have to say my entries aren't as long as they use to be. ^^ I also find that this helps me to stick to one topic when chatting. So in many ways it helps me out. Not just venting.
Mon
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