I actually have no rhythm lol so I'm not really dancing xD
Hi!
Today was pretty straight forward. Tomorrow should be finally day working on my walk cycle for 2D animation. Yay~
Hm...I'm starting to wonder if I have perfectionist qualities. I've been kind of precise with the kind of look I'm trying to get. Besides, since it's 2D animation, I can add this to my portfolio as something I put a lot of effort into! But I do work slow when it comes to stuff like this....okay not slow, but just not enough. I relax a lot. So when I think "I'll work on it!" I'd work on it for a while and do something else. Well, at least this one is almost done. I feel it more quality goodness and I wasted a lot of time. Well, I'll go full speed with the other 3. I have 3 weeks and 2 projects I have to do.
These next 4 days I'll just work on my animation projects. For storyboarding I have a few ideas already. I just have to choose one and discuss it with the teacher. Since I don't have to draw anything, I feel I should take advantage of this time I have!
So, today I'm also in a good mood today. I don't want to jinx myself, but I'm soaking it all in. Surprisingly I haven't been looking over my shoulder wondering when a bad day will strike. But I do still get frustrated. However, it's because of the program. But I guess what's helping me is that my teacher for this class isn't rushing me. I feel that I may be kind of taking advantage of that because I'm taking my time. Well, I have to put my butt into gear!
Now I"m gonna relax for the evening and head to bed soon. I have 3 objectives tomorrow. Read some more of the books I got from the school library, work on my 2D animation project (finish that tomorrow) and if possible work on my script for my comic!
Time is slowly approaching for me to continue this.
That's all for now!
Night
Mon
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Monday, February 25, 2013
Reading Nana! I've lost it!! D:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm reading this manga called Nana! Don't fall for him Nana, don't do it!! Takumi is an ultra player!
I hope this story doesn't end the way I think it will....
Wait D: I forgot the manga artist hasn't written anything new recently due to be hospitalized. Well.....I will probably be highly upset if I read the whole thing and it ends on a good part! *cross arms* But I do hope Yazawa will get better! I'm sure a lot of her fans are waiting patiently.
*sighs* I'm going nuts over a manga story. ( ≧Д≦) But Takumi is soooo hot! He's very very handsome for a drawing lol
But I did watch the movie and I thought that they chose a very good Takumi! *_* He was handsome! Hahaha his name is Tamayama Tetsuji! I don't really know what other movies he play in, but I do know Nariyama Hiroki! He has such a goofy pretty smile! haha I love it!
*exhales* okay, I think my rant is complete! I just had to share that inner shout xD
Mon
I'm reading this manga called Nana! Don't fall for him Nana, don't do it!! Takumi is an ultra player!
I hope this story doesn't end the way I think it will....
Wait D: I forgot the manga artist hasn't written anything new recently due to be hospitalized. Well.....I will probably be highly upset if I read the whole thing and it ends on a good part! *cross arms* But I do hope Yazawa will get better! I'm sure a lot of her fans are waiting patiently.
*sighs* I'm going nuts over a manga story. ( ≧Д≦) But Takumi is soooo hot! He's very very handsome for a drawing lol
But I did watch the movie and I thought that they chose a very good Takumi! *_* He was handsome! Hahaha his name is Tamayama Tetsuji! I don't really know what other movies he play in, but I do know Nariyama Hiroki! He has such a goofy pretty smile! haha I love it!
*exhales* okay, I think my rant is complete! I just had to share that inner shout xD
Mon
I'm happy again!
Hi!
My mom found my cellphone for me in her car. Well, I'm happy it's been found. But that's not why I'm happy. I'm happy because I am a women!
Yes, I've been just going crazy over this! I've been thinking about men and women and thinking about how lovely people are (the outer body). There's so much that goes on in the inside that keeps us alive and it all happens without us trying to consciously keep ourselves alive. By this I mean breathing, our hearts pumping etc.
Now I understand for some people it's not the case, and I feel for them, but I do believe there's still beauty in them as well. Through all the pain there is more beauty. To me, struggles equal beauty. It's like learning a new lesson. It's never easy to watch but there is always some kind of benefit. I believe the soul always benefits in some way. With each lesson brings us closer to an understanding that I can't quite explain. But I believe it's an understanding of how everything works! To me, that's amazing!
Anyways, I feel the need to share my happiness. Not as in bragging, but to give help to someone who may not be happy. My message to you is to see the world through clear or colored layered glasses.
It's a much better experience than seeing it through glasses which needs to be clean. Whenever I feel down, I look at the world around (not the people) but nature. Okay, sometimes I look at the people, but only the happy ones lol Their happiness makes me happy. It helps me to see that at that moment I should try to deal with a situation as best as I can, or not at all! Knowing that I have those two options, I always choose the first one!
Feel that you will not let life defeat you! Think about it, when we are sad or negative aren't we only allowing a situation defeat us? That's not to say "don't feel sad" no, sadness comes. But dwelling on a sadness is not very good. It only grows stronger and it makes it seem like the situation will never go away.
I'll tell you what I do when I feel sad. Yes, when I feel sad or negative, it's realllly something out of this world! lol But if I sit outside (sometimes I won't) I would be able to find my answer (emotionally not the solution to my problem) by seeing an animal doing something that is so incredibly amazing that I would think "This creature can do that so easily. And what am I doing right now?"
Life is like work, but it's work we can enjoy.
When someone is being negative, it's very strange, but all I do is find I repeat myself. I never want a person to feel that their feelings don't mean anything. No way. They are very rewarding and they have a deep meaning. But I'd like them to understand that they are not just their emotions and that there will always be alternatives. There is always a reason.
I think knowing this has helped me tremendously! I do believe everything has a reason. For example, I've thought back on my life with my older sister, we talked about how we lived in this apartment with not much, but we were happy. I thought a lot of times "there's nothing!" but strange enough I don't really remember being saddened by this. I was more sad by the way my family behaved, if they were being mean to each other, or they didn't seem to be doing well, I felt sad by this more than not having much.
But in the end, I feel that we are close. It's strange that I often find myself saying "i don't fit in here because I think so different from them!" But beyond this I also feel closer to them. It's a very strange thing. I feel it but I wonder if they do.
But even something like this, at moments when I feel this way, it makes me feel very very happy! It's like reminiscing. Oh gawd! I"m not old enough to be thinking this way lol I have to wait until I'm at least 80 or 90 something sitting with a cup of lemonade sitting either alone with nature or with my husband or/and children (who've I've adopted or had enough strength and courage to bear my own children lol) or a family of just all kinds of people who I've called my family (stranger or not. I'm sure it will be the latter regardless) and we'd all sit and stare out at the world. And look at each other and say "we've come so far"
At that moment I would know I could leave the earth happy! With the feeling of accomplishing what I came to accomplish.
See? This is actually why I write stories lol maybe living among people isn't this elaborate. But I certainly live this way on the inside. When I sit and look at the trees and sky, it's something so amazing! I don't have to say a world but I would think "we been together for 22 years earth!" lol like it's some kind of anniversary
Well, I have to get back to my homework.
Y'know, I also think it can be the milk and honey bath I've been taking! The aroma is very pleasant. I'm gonna take another milk and honey bath tonight! :3
Night
Mon
My mom found my cellphone for me in her car. Well, I'm happy it's been found. But that's not why I'm happy. I'm happy because I am a women!
Yes, I've been just going crazy over this! I've been thinking about men and women and thinking about how lovely people are (the outer body). There's so much that goes on in the inside that keeps us alive and it all happens without us trying to consciously keep ourselves alive. By this I mean breathing, our hearts pumping etc.
Now I understand for some people it's not the case, and I feel for them, but I do believe there's still beauty in them as well. Through all the pain there is more beauty. To me, struggles equal beauty. It's like learning a new lesson. It's never easy to watch but there is always some kind of benefit. I believe the soul always benefits in some way. With each lesson brings us closer to an understanding that I can't quite explain. But I believe it's an understanding of how everything works! To me, that's amazing!
Anyways, I feel the need to share my happiness. Not as in bragging, but to give help to someone who may not be happy. My message to you is to see the world through clear or colored layered glasses.
It's a much better experience than seeing it through glasses which needs to be clean. Whenever I feel down, I look at the world around (not the people) but nature. Okay, sometimes I look at the people, but only the happy ones lol Their happiness makes me happy. It helps me to see that at that moment I should try to deal with a situation as best as I can, or not at all! Knowing that I have those two options, I always choose the first one!
Feel that you will not let life defeat you! Think about it, when we are sad or negative aren't we only allowing a situation defeat us? That's not to say "don't feel sad" no, sadness comes. But dwelling on a sadness is not very good. It only grows stronger and it makes it seem like the situation will never go away.
I'll tell you what I do when I feel sad. Yes, when I feel sad or negative, it's realllly something out of this world! lol But if I sit outside (sometimes I won't) I would be able to find my answer (emotionally not the solution to my problem) by seeing an animal doing something that is so incredibly amazing that I would think "This creature can do that so easily. And what am I doing right now?"
Life is like work, but it's work we can enjoy.
When someone is being negative, it's very strange, but all I do is find I repeat myself. I never want a person to feel that their feelings don't mean anything. No way. They are very rewarding and they have a deep meaning. But I'd like them to understand that they are not just their emotions and that there will always be alternatives. There is always a reason.
I think knowing this has helped me tremendously! I do believe everything has a reason. For example, I've thought back on my life with my older sister, we talked about how we lived in this apartment with not much, but we were happy. I thought a lot of times "there's nothing!" but strange enough I don't really remember being saddened by this. I was more sad by the way my family behaved, if they were being mean to each other, or they didn't seem to be doing well, I felt sad by this more than not having much.
But in the end, I feel that we are close. It's strange that I often find myself saying "i don't fit in here because I think so different from them!" But beyond this I also feel closer to them. It's a very strange thing. I feel it but I wonder if they do.
But even something like this, at moments when I feel this way, it makes me feel very very happy! It's like reminiscing. Oh gawd! I"m not old enough to be thinking this way lol I have to wait until I'm at least 80 or 90 something sitting with a cup of lemonade sitting either alone with nature or with my husband or/and children (who've I've adopted or had enough strength and courage to bear my own children lol) or a family of just all kinds of people who I've called my family (stranger or not. I'm sure it will be the latter regardless) and we'd all sit and stare out at the world. And look at each other and say "we've come so far"
At that moment I would know I could leave the earth happy! With the feeling of accomplishing what I came to accomplish.
See? This is actually why I write stories lol maybe living among people isn't this elaborate. But I certainly live this way on the inside. When I sit and look at the trees and sky, it's something so amazing! I don't have to say a world but I would think "we been together for 22 years earth!" lol like it's some kind of anniversary
Well, I have to get back to my homework.
Y'know, I also think it can be the milk and honey bath I've been taking! The aroma is very pleasant. I'm gonna take another milk and honey bath tonight! :3
Night
Mon
Good Mood Monday!
Hi!
I'm in a good mood right now! I think it just happened a few seconds today.
Actually, I guess since I don't have class on Mondays that makes me happy. Although I don't think it's such a pain to go to school on Monday. Mainly I believe it's really this school and going to class late at night. There isn't much stress and the teachers are very very understanding of the students learning new programs.
I cherish this quarter because I'll be going back to the college downtown. Don't get me wrong, I love being downtown! It's very lively. But it's also a little sad because there's a few homeless people I come into contact with. Not just that but there are so many people that smoke down there.
Y'know, I'm trying to teach myself to stop expecting the worse. Of course I expect the best as well. Well...I usually always expect the best lol But I wonder if downtown as changed at all. I live in the suburbs so it's usually quite quiet. I enjoy it. But downtown it's hard to find a quiet place. But I do like walking around and looking at the decor of shopping buildings and seeing parks and everything! That part is what I look forward too!
Anyway, I enjoy being in a good mood. However, there's kind of a problem with me when I'm in a good mood. I give wayyy to much. To some people it may seem like the "kind" thing to do, but not in my situation. I don't often consider the risk when I'm super happy! And that's the problem.
For example, I at moments like this, I would pay for someone's meal, or buy them something because I'm happy and I feel like giving.
I also become way to optimistic. Yes, to some people this may seem "good" lol but it's not always rainbows and happy songs.
Well, I can't find my cellphone. My mood has slowly decreased to about %70 lol I need my cellphone for tomorrow and I still have homework I have to finish for tomorrow too *puts hands together* Wish me luck on finding!
Mon
I'm in a good mood right now! I think it just happened a few seconds today.
Actually, I guess since I don't have class on Mondays that makes me happy. Although I don't think it's such a pain to go to school on Monday. Mainly I believe it's really this school and going to class late at night. There isn't much stress and the teachers are very very understanding of the students learning new programs.
I cherish this quarter because I'll be going back to the college downtown. Don't get me wrong, I love being downtown! It's very lively. But it's also a little sad because there's a few homeless people I come into contact with. Not just that but there are so many people that smoke down there.
Y'know, I'm trying to teach myself to stop expecting the worse. Of course I expect the best as well. Well...I usually always expect the best lol But I wonder if downtown as changed at all. I live in the suburbs so it's usually quite quiet. I enjoy it. But downtown it's hard to find a quiet place. But I do like walking around and looking at the decor of shopping buildings and seeing parks and everything! That part is what I look forward too!
Anyway, I enjoy being in a good mood. However, there's kind of a problem with me when I'm in a good mood. I give wayyy to much. To some people it may seem like the "kind" thing to do, but not in my situation. I don't often consider the risk when I'm super happy! And that's the problem.
For example, I at moments like this, I would pay for someone's meal, or buy them something because I'm happy and I feel like giving.
I also become way to optimistic. Yes, to some people this may seem "good" lol but it's not always rainbows and happy songs.
Well, I can't find my cellphone. My mood has slowly decreased to about %70 lol I need my cellphone for tomorrow and I still have homework I have to finish for tomorrow too *puts hands together* Wish me luck on finding!
Mon
Friday, February 22, 2013
Eating good and happy
Hi!!!
So now I'm eating a salad! I'm super happy to be eating one. I feel jittery for some reason!
Months before this I kept saying how I wanted to eat more healthier. After finding out what natural flavor really is, my mom has started buying organic foods lol So is that all it took?
I also got to drink the tea I said I would earlier this morning. So I'm very happy today. I'm a very very happy bug!
Although, I still haven't drawn anything today. Today I was going to practice some figure drawing stuff. However I ended up playing the video game lol Ahhh~ Just like the old days.
Anyway, I have heard that eating healthier and exercising will make a person happy. Although I have yet to get a steady sleep schedule planned, I feel pretty good. I'm starting to thin it's the school I'm attending lol
Well, that's all I have for now.
Mon
So now I'm eating a salad! I'm super happy to be eating one. I feel jittery for some reason!
Months before this I kept saying how I wanted to eat more healthier. After finding out what natural flavor really is, my mom has started buying organic foods lol So is that all it took?
I also got to drink the tea I said I would earlier this morning. So I'm very happy today. I'm a very very happy bug!
Although, I still haven't drawn anything today. Today I was going to practice some figure drawing stuff. However I ended up playing the video game lol Ahhh~ Just like the old days.
Anyway, I have heard that eating healthier and exercising will make a person happy. Although I have yet to get a steady sleep schedule planned, I feel pretty good. I'm starting to thin it's the school I'm attending lol
Well, that's all I have for now.
Mon
Class and stuff :3
Hi!!
Today...or rather, yesterday's class was fun. Sometimes I don't get home until like 9 something or 10 p.m. Which leaves me the late hours to browse the web.
So today was fun! In my first class we were assigned to do a group assignment. I seriously had a case of the giggles and was being really silly today! I just couldn't turn it off lol
Recently I'm quite happy. Maybe it has something to do with something I did the day before yesterday. I feel very relieved, and I feel...I just feel happy lol
Well, I'm still working on the same 2D animation project. But it's because I work on other things too. But later today I want to practice doing some figure drawings. A lot of my character designs look very static. I appreciate my teacher and classmates complimenting my work, but I see places where I can improve.
Oh! So my older sister gave me this cute little bamboo plant! It makes my room feel lively. It just sits on my dresser.
Um...besides me gushing over being in a good mood, I would really like some tea now. Hm....I'm also silently waiting, but enjoying myself.
Oh! One more thing, I'm really into the Japanese culture. I even stopped studying the language (besides the subtle meaning of certain phrases) in order to gain a better understanding of the culture. I never thought I would me so immersed in a culture as I would be with Japan. To think it all started with a simple class assignment. On a whim, I chose to write about the Japanese workforce. And from then on I've just been reading all about the country.
In a way I'd like to place myself into that society. To be in that country and engulf myself in what it has to teach me. I also find Paris and Italy pretty interesting. Another place is the Arctic region. The day before yesterday I just felt like reading about Eskimos! They are seriously interesting people! Power to them :3
But back to Japan, I feel a great respect for a lot of different things, people, cultures etc. With Japan, I can't say all Japanese people will behave the same way, the same with any other people of a race. However, what I'm trying to say is that I like the subtle messages they seem to understand.
They are more indirect, while we (Americans) are more direct. I was watching a video by a Japanese woman who was talking about Japanese beauty standards. I figured she would start talking about the popular subculture fashion. But she actually said something that surprised me! And before hearing this I always wondered why things such as keeping a youthful innocence and being pure seemed important in their media.
So she posted three pictures. One of a flower that has yet to bloom, a flower that has bloomed and a flower that is wilting.
She said that yes, some Japanese people would choose the flower that is already in full bloom, but a lot of Japanese people would choose either the wilting flower or the one that has yet to bloom.
She explained that there's a deeper meaning and that a flower that has yet to bloom is like a person who has a hidden beauty and has yet to fully show everything. In other words, not being to flashy and leaving to the imagination.
It reminds me of geisha's. My mom (goodness) still thinks geisha's are prostitutes. But they are more sophisticated. It's much more than that. To this day there are still geisha's, but not as many as in the past. Anyway, geisha's were like working pieces of art. They never fully exposed themselves, but they were alluring and revealed only a delicate piece of themselves, the nape of their neck.
This kind of things makes me think about how a lot of people are now. It seems true for a lot of people in my generation, showing everything, leaving nothing to the imagination.
If I were a guy, I would be bored really quick! "*sighs* Oh, she's flashing me her legs again...how boring!!" is what I would say.
I feel that, as being a woman myself, we don't need to do all of that. If we wear clothes that are fitting (not to tight, not to loose) it gives shape to our form without overly showing everything. I think, as geisha, this was important. Personally, I really geishas!
So, with that being said, I think what that lady said was very interesting! That's not to say some Japanese guys will think this way, but I still think it's nice!
For example, there's this thing called "yaeba" this is mainly where a girl's teeth kind of crooked in a certain kind of way. It's considered cute! But to a few Americans, it leaves them scratching their heads and saying "Huh?"
It just goes to show that beauty is different for all parts of the world. :3
Hm...I have no idea how I got on this topic!
Well, I'll be heading to bed. I'm thinking I"ll buy some honey and lemon tomorrow and make a nice hot brew! It sounds delicious~
Night~
Mon
Today...or rather, yesterday's class was fun. Sometimes I don't get home until like 9 something or 10 p.m. Which leaves me the late hours to browse the web.
So today was fun! In my first class we were assigned to do a group assignment. I seriously had a case of the giggles and was being really silly today! I just couldn't turn it off lol
Recently I'm quite happy. Maybe it has something to do with something I did the day before yesterday. I feel very relieved, and I feel...I just feel happy lol
Well, I'm still working on the same 2D animation project. But it's because I work on other things too. But later today I want to practice doing some figure drawings. A lot of my character designs look very static. I appreciate my teacher and classmates complimenting my work, but I see places where I can improve.
Oh! So my older sister gave me this cute little bamboo plant! It makes my room feel lively. It just sits on my dresser.
Um...besides me gushing over being in a good mood, I would really like some tea now. Hm....I'm also silently waiting, but enjoying myself.
Oh! One more thing, I'm really into the Japanese culture. I even stopped studying the language (besides the subtle meaning of certain phrases) in order to gain a better understanding of the culture. I never thought I would me so immersed in a culture as I would be with Japan. To think it all started with a simple class assignment. On a whim, I chose to write about the Japanese workforce. And from then on I've just been reading all about the country.
In a way I'd like to place myself into that society. To be in that country and engulf myself in what it has to teach me. I also find Paris and Italy pretty interesting. Another place is the Arctic region. The day before yesterday I just felt like reading about Eskimos! They are seriously interesting people! Power to them :3
But back to Japan, I feel a great respect for a lot of different things, people, cultures etc. With Japan, I can't say all Japanese people will behave the same way, the same with any other people of a race. However, what I'm trying to say is that I like the subtle messages they seem to understand.
They are more indirect, while we (Americans) are more direct. I was watching a video by a Japanese woman who was talking about Japanese beauty standards. I figured she would start talking about the popular subculture fashion. But she actually said something that surprised me! And before hearing this I always wondered why things such as keeping a youthful innocence and being pure seemed important in their media.
So she posted three pictures. One of a flower that has yet to bloom, a flower that has bloomed and a flower that is wilting.
She said that yes, some Japanese people would choose the flower that is already in full bloom, but a lot of Japanese people would choose either the wilting flower or the one that has yet to bloom.
She explained that there's a deeper meaning and that a flower that has yet to bloom is like a person who has a hidden beauty and has yet to fully show everything. In other words, not being to flashy and leaving to the imagination.
It reminds me of geisha's. My mom (goodness) still thinks geisha's are prostitutes. But they are more sophisticated. It's much more than that. To this day there are still geisha's, but not as many as in the past. Anyway, geisha's were like working pieces of art. They never fully exposed themselves, but they were alluring and revealed only a delicate piece of themselves, the nape of their neck.
This kind of things makes me think about how a lot of people are now. It seems true for a lot of people in my generation, showing everything, leaving nothing to the imagination.
If I were a guy, I would be bored really quick! "*sighs* Oh, she's flashing me her legs again...how boring!!" is what I would say.
I feel that, as being a woman myself, we don't need to do all of that. If we wear clothes that are fitting (not to tight, not to loose) it gives shape to our form without overly showing everything. I think, as geisha, this was important. Personally, I really geishas!
So, with that being said, I think what that lady said was very interesting! That's not to say some Japanese guys will think this way, but I still think it's nice!
For example, there's this thing called "yaeba" this is mainly where a girl's teeth kind of crooked in a certain kind of way. It's considered cute! But to a few Americans, it leaves them scratching their heads and saying "Huh?"
It just goes to show that beauty is different for all parts of the world. :3
Hm...I have no idea how I got on this topic!
Well, I'll be heading to bed. I'm thinking I"ll buy some honey and lemon tomorrow and make a nice hot brew! It sounds delicious~
Night~
Mon
Saturday, February 9, 2013
A dream I had
Hi!!
So I just remembered a dream I had.
My grandpa, my grandma and my older sister were all sitting in a room. I can't quite remember what we were talking about, but we were in a living room that was a bit similar to the one I'm in now, but it had more furnishing.
Anyways, my grandpa, something was kind of wrong with him. I think he was having some kind of heart attack or stroke or something. He couldn't seem to breath or he had an issue with his chest. He was in shock. My older sister started to cry, which was a bit strange, or rather, I found that a bit strange. I remember I was standing up while everyone else was sitting down, and I remember just being very calm and not panicking.
I looked over at my sister, then my grandpa then my grandma. She wasn't very worried. It looked like she was a bit calm too because she didn't go in to examine him. I take that as acceptance of his condition.
I woke up after having a few other interesting dreams, and this one stood out to me. Now I'm thinking about real time. Me and my sister had planned to visit my grandma before school started again. We would be there for about a week. She didn't quite approve of the plan, she said it was because by the time we get there, we would have to come back (just like last time). But I remembering feeling there was some other underlying reason. But I couldn't put my finger on it.
I thought was that....um...I just forgot it lol
Anyways, I found out from my older sister that my grandpa wasn't doing so well. I guess the condition he was in would have caused some issues with us visiting. I thought that was kind of nice. Although I'm okay with people passing, I don't like being around people in pain. I like helping if I could, but if I feel like I can't do anything, I feel that it's more personal for that person. Of course talking is okay, but it's still makes me uncomfortable (kind of).
Well, I guess my grandpa is okay now. My grandma called today. I'm just surprised that I'm remembering this now.
She called my younger sister's cellphone, but she didn't mention anything bad or wrong. So I think all is good.
Y'know, sometimes I think about people who have that ability to see aura and know when someone will get sick and it's something that's just super natural to them. I'm not saying we all don't have that natural ability, but I mean it's something that they can't quite turn off (well, they can, but what I mean is those people who people would call "gifted"). Anyways, can see how it can be a bit troublesome. I could imagine that it would be tough for me because I wouldn't know if I should or shouldn't approach the person or if I'm just seeing things.
I often place things as my imagination, not my feelings, but my dreams. Mainly because I have an overactive imagination and I feel that I would seem kind of paranoid lol
That's why I calmed down about reading about the spirit realm. I felt like I was becoming to enveloped in it and I was over thinking it. I felt like I needed to get more in touch with the physical reality. Not in the way I figured would make me more physical, such as buying things. But just enjoying life a bit more.
So I've started focusing more on my goals here in the physical realm. Of course I do still know the spiritual realm is there. I still say thank you. I still am grateful for what I have. But I don't quite get how I should ask them to help me with guiding me towards what's needed.
It's more like if a tough choice arises, I'll just let it go. I often believe that I should continue living my life and wait for an answer. I can be kind of impulsive, well, I would before. Not thinking sometimes. And I had a lot of challenges in the past, a lot of them mental. But I feel a bit better now.
Also, recently my mood as been a bit better. I still find it a bit odd that I get really really happy seeing people happy. It's more of those things that really lift my spirit. So I know if I'm feeling down, if I go to an area where people are happy, I'll feel better.
And y'know, I'm grateful for that too. If I didn't have this way of being able to view things I know life would probably be a lot tougher. I've also found that I know what I need more than I realize I do. Sometimes I would think that when I start to feel what I need, such as time alone, when it's something I feel I need daily, I would find it to be selfish.
Not in the way where I don't feel like I deserve to have time alone, but it's more like if I feel like I"m abandoning a kind of duty of mines. I've also been wondering that too. "What exactly....is my duty? *puts finger to face*"
In the end, well, for the past few weeks, I've just decided to just live life. I have aspiration, but I never don't have a set in stone plan. I don't have that feeling that some people have where they say "this is is what I came here to do! This is what my life is all about!"
Of course I would like to have that feeling, maybe it will come later in my life. So for the moment I'm just building up skills and learning new things and hoping into things that interest me. They are usually small things.
I'm happy with small. But I won't lie, deep down inside, I have something that craves bigger things. Should this side be ignored. Honestly, think that side has no true idea why they want those things, or what it actually wants. I don't think I should hide that part lol but I think it's a bit immature.
But I'll come to accept each part. I feel that that's most important. I think when a person can truly accept who they are, they can accept others. They can accept the people who even disagree with them because they may see that those people are on the same trail. They may seem ignorant to us who feel we understand the deeper meaning a bit more. But when you see that they are learning to, it's kind of like a sense of just feeling the need to just let them be.
It's tough, I agree, to see people causing their own suffering. But hey, we could waste so much energy if we really want, and they may still stay the same. Freewill can be a bit of a trick.
Oh! But one thing that surprises me if that my birth chart mentions that I would put my life on the line to save the people I love. That's a bit extreme lol I appreciate my life. So I would really have to truly and honestly love someone with all my core to do that. I wonder, how deep would someone's love be in order to truly mean that without regret or tears.
Hm.....I wonder if I love that way. I love, but I don't know if I truly love y'know. In this world, love has been tossed around so much. It's even got be confused on seeing when someone really means they are in love with a person. *shrugs* but I still find couples adorable! :3
Well, that's about it this time.
Night~
So I just remembered a dream I had.
My grandpa, my grandma and my older sister were all sitting in a room. I can't quite remember what we were talking about, but we were in a living room that was a bit similar to the one I'm in now, but it had more furnishing.
Anyways, my grandpa, something was kind of wrong with him. I think he was having some kind of heart attack or stroke or something. He couldn't seem to breath or he had an issue with his chest. He was in shock. My older sister started to cry, which was a bit strange, or rather, I found that a bit strange. I remember I was standing up while everyone else was sitting down, and I remember just being very calm and not panicking.
I looked over at my sister, then my grandpa then my grandma. She wasn't very worried. It looked like she was a bit calm too because she didn't go in to examine him. I take that as acceptance of his condition.
I woke up after having a few other interesting dreams, and this one stood out to me. Now I'm thinking about real time. Me and my sister had planned to visit my grandma before school started again. We would be there for about a week. She didn't quite approve of the plan, she said it was because by the time we get there, we would have to come back (just like last time). But I remembering feeling there was some other underlying reason. But I couldn't put my finger on it.
I thought was that....um...I just forgot it lol
Anyways, I found out from my older sister that my grandpa wasn't doing so well. I guess the condition he was in would have caused some issues with us visiting. I thought that was kind of nice. Although I'm okay with people passing, I don't like being around people in pain. I like helping if I could, but if I feel like I can't do anything, I feel that it's more personal for that person. Of course talking is okay, but it's still makes me uncomfortable (kind of).
Well, I guess my grandpa is okay now. My grandma called today. I'm just surprised that I'm remembering this now.
She called my younger sister's cellphone, but she didn't mention anything bad or wrong. So I think all is good.
Y'know, sometimes I think about people who have that ability to see aura and know when someone will get sick and it's something that's just super natural to them. I'm not saying we all don't have that natural ability, but I mean it's something that they can't quite turn off (well, they can, but what I mean is those people who people would call "gifted"). Anyways, can see how it can be a bit troublesome. I could imagine that it would be tough for me because I wouldn't know if I should or shouldn't approach the person or if I'm just seeing things.
I often place things as my imagination, not my feelings, but my dreams. Mainly because I have an overactive imagination and I feel that I would seem kind of paranoid lol
That's why I calmed down about reading about the spirit realm. I felt like I was becoming to enveloped in it and I was over thinking it. I felt like I needed to get more in touch with the physical reality. Not in the way I figured would make me more physical, such as buying things. But just enjoying life a bit more.
So I've started focusing more on my goals here in the physical realm. Of course I do still know the spiritual realm is there. I still say thank you. I still am grateful for what I have. But I don't quite get how I should ask them to help me with guiding me towards what's needed.
It's more like if a tough choice arises, I'll just let it go. I often believe that I should continue living my life and wait for an answer. I can be kind of impulsive, well, I would before. Not thinking sometimes. And I had a lot of challenges in the past, a lot of them mental. But I feel a bit better now.
Also, recently my mood as been a bit better. I still find it a bit odd that I get really really happy seeing people happy. It's more of those things that really lift my spirit. So I know if I'm feeling down, if I go to an area where people are happy, I'll feel better.
And y'know, I'm grateful for that too. If I didn't have this way of being able to view things I know life would probably be a lot tougher. I've also found that I know what I need more than I realize I do. Sometimes I would think that when I start to feel what I need, such as time alone, when it's something I feel I need daily, I would find it to be selfish.
Not in the way where I don't feel like I deserve to have time alone, but it's more like if I feel like I"m abandoning a kind of duty of mines. I've also been wondering that too. "What exactly....is my duty? *puts finger to face*"
In the end, well, for the past few weeks, I've just decided to just live life. I have aspiration, but I never don't have a set in stone plan. I don't have that feeling that some people have where they say "this is is what I came here to do! This is what my life is all about!"
Of course I would like to have that feeling, maybe it will come later in my life. So for the moment I'm just building up skills and learning new things and hoping into things that interest me. They are usually small things.
I'm happy with small. But I won't lie, deep down inside, I have something that craves bigger things. Should this side be ignored. Honestly, think that side has no true idea why they want those things, or what it actually wants. I don't think I should hide that part lol but I think it's a bit immature.
But I'll come to accept each part. I feel that that's most important. I think when a person can truly accept who they are, they can accept others. They can accept the people who even disagree with them because they may see that those people are on the same trail. They may seem ignorant to us who feel we understand the deeper meaning a bit more. But when you see that they are learning to, it's kind of like a sense of just feeling the need to just let them be.
It's tough, I agree, to see people causing their own suffering. But hey, we could waste so much energy if we really want, and they may still stay the same. Freewill can be a bit of a trick.
Oh! But one thing that surprises me if that my birth chart mentions that I would put my life on the line to save the people I love. That's a bit extreme lol I appreciate my life. So I would really have to truly and honestly love someone with all my core to do that. I wonder, how deep would someone's love be in order to truly mean that without regret or tears.
Hm.....I wonder if I love that way. I love, but I don't know if I truly love y'know. In this world, love has been tossed around so much. It's even got be confused on seeing when someone really means they are in love with a person. *shrugs* but I still find couples adorable! :3
Well, that's about it this time.
Night~
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Living the Past
Hi!
Today I'd like to talk about living in the past.
Personally, I don't know if I live in the past. But I do know for certain that if I start to think about it, I usually write it down or just let it go away, reminding myself that that was years ago. I know when I do think about it, I try to find a solution. Such as "well, that person isn't me. They have their own life" and it makes me feel better.
I don't like to impose my negative thoughts on people. And when I do, I'm grateful if someone can put up with it lol
But I have known people who seem to have really hurtful past. It's usually to the point they it seems they live their lives in a way that devalues their worth. I think everyone is worthy of course! And these people were honestly very beautiful to me. Just kind of shattered.
Hm....well, I have had a time when I spent so much time reflecting and I just didn't want to talk. Eventually I think we have to face a situation that was bad head on, and accept that it happened. Sometimes when we want answers we can't have, we usually obsess about it.
But sometimes the answers won't show up until years later. Such as a person who goes through painful relationships, then one day they meet someone who just understands them. In a way I wonder if they went through that pain to understand true happiness.
But sometimes people may go through pain, not realizing they are causing themselves the pain by what they are thinking and manifesting. Certain energies attract.
Well, even if people don't believe in manifestation, I think it's healthier to be positive. That's doesn't mean to not be realistic about things, it just means understanding that an outer force can effect our emotions, but our emotions do not control us. Yeah they come up, but in the end we control what we do.
I always ALWAYS consider moments when someone is being aggressive and manipulative. Where a person feels they have no freedom. In situations like that I definitely say seek help. I'm not professional in this field, but I heard of this happening and a person feels completely helpless.
Honestly, no one has the right to overtake your freewill. No matter what, you are a human being, don't you deserve to be treated like one.
And when that situation is over, breath, see that it's a new morning, you are starting over. Everyday is a new day to try something new, such as being much more kinder.
I wonder if people think "well, I've been here too long, I can't just change."
Yeah, people may think it's a bit strange, but if you feel it's necessary for YOU, who cares what other people think.
I'm not sure if this helped at all. But I do wish everyone a good life.
Gotta go now.
Mon
Today I'd like to talk about living in the past.
Personally, I don't know if I live in the past. But I do know for certain that if I start to think about it, I usually write it down or just let it go away, reminding myself that that was years ago. I know when I do think about it, I try to find a solution. Such as "well, that person isn't me. They have their own life" and it makes me feel better.
I don't like to impose my negative thoughts on people. And when I do, I'm grateful if someone can put up with it lol
But I have known people who seem to have really hurtful past. It's usually to the point they it seems they live their lives in a way that devalues their worth. I think everyone is worthy of course! And these people were honestly very beautiful to me. Just kind of shattered.
Hm....well, I have had a time when I spent so much time reflecting and I just didn't want to talk. Eventually I think we have to face a situation that was bad head on, and accept that it happened. Sometimes when we want answers we can't have, we usually obsess about it.
But sometimes the answers won't show up until years later. Such as a person who goes through painful relationships, then one day they meet someone who just understands them. In a way I wonder if they went through that pain to understand true happiness.
But sometimes people may go through pain, not realizing they are causing themselves the pain by what they are thinking and manifesting. Certain energies attract.
Well, even if people don't believe in manifestation, I think it's healthier to be positive. That's doesn't mean to not be realistic about things, it just means understanding that an outer force can effect our emotions, but our emotions do not control us. Yeah they come up, but in the end we control what we do.
I always ALWAYS consider moments when someone is being aggressive and manipulative. Where a person feels they have no freedom. In situations like that I definitely say seek help. I'm not professional in this field, but I heard of this happening and a person feels completely helpless.
Honestly, no one has the right to overtake your freewill. No matter what, you are a human being, don't you deserve to be treated like one.
And when that situation is over, breath, see that it's a new morning, you are starting over. Everyday is a new day to try something new, such as being much more kinder.
I wonder if people think "well, I've been here too long, I can't just change."
Yeah, people may think it's a bit strange, but if you feel it's necessary for YOU, who cares what other people think.
I'm not sure if this helped at all. But I do wish everyone a good life.
Gotta go now.
Mon
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