Childhood memories (?)

Hiiiii~~

I hope you're doing well and good.....does that make sense?

Well, today I'd like to talk about some of my childhood...memories. I want to say dreams, but they were shortly lived, so I say memories instead.

When I was a kid I was interested in gymnastics. Can you imagine? Well, maybe it's far from where I am now. Actually, is it an art form? I wonder....

Anyway, I wanted to be a gymnast and I'm not really sure why.

Once during a gym session in my elementary school the gym teacher had a balance beam set up in the gym. I was excited and nervous! Yet, when it was my turn to walk across, I got on the beam and was more terrified than anything lol "This is way too high!" I had realized this. Hm...I wonder if my dream of being a gymnast evaporated at that moment.

I would often try to do headstands. Once I actually sprain my neck during gym class because I literally balanced all my weight on my head. I head went "snap" and went to one side. I had to walk with my ear to my shoulder for the rest of the day. That was painful! lol I think at about that time I realized that the body is quite fragile. It didn't take a lot of physical pain for me to realize that certain things are harmful and others aren't.

So once that dream faded away I became interested in ballroom dancing. Me and my younger sister use to watch this ballroom dancing channel. We would put some socks on and slide across the floor like we were ballroom dancing. Perhaps I didn't want to become a ballroom dancer, but I did think it was neat.

Well as a kid I was often interested reading. A LOT! I was considered a bookworm by my family because I often had a book. I still remember what my elementary school library looks like. And I remember this one section where I got book from before.

But I wasn't really a fan of school though. Honestly I've never liked being tested on subjects that were taught. I wasn't very good at math (I'm still not so good at it but I find it interesting though!).  If I wanted to, I'm sure I could understand it...this is how things work with me. At the time I wasn't interested in math. But I've always been into music and art.

I don't think I thought "I will be an artist!" but it seems that I'm good at art so I thought "why not?"

Perhaps I'll explain that. During my senior year of high school I was nearing my graduation time. I don't really remember how the school came up, but I suddenly decided to choose animation. Hayao Miyazaki was a great influence on this choice. I didn't know what went into animation, how much drawing would go into it. Pretty much, I knew nothing about it.

But I got accepted with ease. Sometimes I wonder if there is something else I should be doing. I like art and all, but I don't know if I can constantly draw as much as is necessary. I've always felt that high school didn't quite help me with much of anything. Rather it gave me a gist of history, math, science, English and the likes.I definitely understand that it means well, but you won't believe how many people will change colleges or go into a different field of study because they're not quite sure what they would like to advance in.

I think high school should prepare us for this. Prepare us to learn about ourselves. Why high school? Well, we already have middle school and elementary school to learn about all the basics! So why am I spending more and more time on topics that have nothing to do with helping me find my path. When we're graduating from high school we should have a better outlook on who we are as a person. Instead we're taking classes and either losing ourselves among our peers or trying to find ourselves among them. But even 4 years isn't enough because we're dealing with so much during that time.

What's more annoying is going to a school where some of the teachers feel the need to force their authority on the students. This does not help at all.

Back to the point of this blog!

I was interested in firefighters. I still have quite a interest in them.

Then I was interested in astrology and numerology in high school. But it seems that my strong points are always in art. Art history, art ART. I was always passing this class. I took one creative writing class and passed it. So art and writing lol it seems to be my strong point, but I'm still very interested in a lot.

The problem is having a lot of interest and not being sure which one makes me the most happiest. If I can contribute anything I would like to contribute something that is so natural to be, that it doesn't even feel like I'm contributing anything at all. I feel that having a genuine passion for something takes away that feeling of "work" and "stress". Because time passes quickly when you're doing something you love.

I definitely think everyone has something they're good at. It's possible some may give up searching, or they don't think they have anything interesting to give. Perhaps what you can give or offer isn't something physical. It's not always physical things to begin with, even in art. It becomes a physical means upon intentional motivation.

Everything starts from within. Art isn't physical until an artist decides to purchase the necessary equipment and put their ideas into that medium.

Some people may have kindness to offer, or generosity to offer.  These are things that are not tangible until it's put into action.

So don't give up. If you're not sure what you're good at, look into things you're interested in and go from there.Read about it. Then you might find there's some website that's strictly all about that subject.

Life seriously does not have to be dull. If there's something you're interested in and it isn't something that's known, make it known. There could be others out there just as interested in it, but not being able to find anything about it may stifle them as well. Then there, you have people who are interested in the same thing as you.

When you communicate and are with people who are just as interested in something as you, it makes life a bit more fun!

When you have a bunch of things you're interested in, it's very difficult to become bored!

Wondering about a country and how they live? Research it. Learn the language. Communicate with them. I find this to be the most interesting of all because communicating with someone from outside of your own culture and country can be a very eyeopening experience. It can likely provide you with insight that you're just a tiny piece of a larger world, rather than thinking you are something bigger or smaller in all of it.

Also, each country has something interesting about it. For example, I saw this chair that was weaved from India. I haven't read much about India, but I found this chair to be very beautiful and wanted to practice weaving.

You may even find a certain dish a country is popularly known for to be interesting. Try cooking it!

There's way too much in the world to learn to be constantly angry at something petty and wasteful. There's way too much in the world to learn to be yelling and screaming.

As you know Chicago is being compared to Iraq. I have nothing to say against this, but I really don't understand why people are going around killing each other just to get put in jail for it for life. Is it really worth it? You kill someone just to kill yourself killed? What a waste of a life! There's much more that can be done than to waste your life away on something like that.

I believe that it's because they may not understand their worth. When you understand that you're worth something, you understand that someone else is worth something as well. When you understand that you are a human being that breathes the same air, you understand that someone is equally the same in that respect. When you understand that you are not perfect and that you're learning, you understand that someone else is learning just like you and that they make mistakes as well. Regardless of age, race or belief, you understand that they're on the same wheel as you. They may not be on the same wavelength as you, but they'll get there.

I think if people acknowledge this, there wouldn't be this much hurt and pain here. Seriously it's all over nothing. And if they're fighting for territory, than that's even dumber! You can't claim some land that doesn't belong to you. We purchase land, we say "this is my land", but in the end if there is a hurricane or a fire or whatever, it's not your land anymore. Its' a wasteland. It's gone. You have to move. It's the earth's land. And if the earth says "I will rain on your home" or "I will strike your crops with lightening" it will be that way.

You think a great hole will not open up on that block you're trying to claim as yours? Think again. It can happen at any moment.

Maybe those people feel like they have no place to belong. So they follow others who seem to have it all planned out. They have some kind of worth. It's the young men who are doing this. And the young women are the ones killing their own babies because "they can't take it!" So unprepared. Deal with it!

You just have to deal with your responsibility. Don't ever take it out on a child who has no idea what's going on with you. Don't make them shoulder your problems because you can't deal with it.

I'm done lol I rambled

Mon