"Amnesia forces us to go into the testing area of the laboratory of Earth
without the answers for the tasks we were sent here to accomplish.
Amnesia also relieves us of the baggage for past failures so we may use
new approaches with more confidence."
-Some soul in Michael Newton's book
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Dream sound
Earlier today I was awaken from another dream sound I believe. It was hours ago when I took a nap. If I'm not mistaken this is why I woke up in the first place. I might not be completely certain because I was still a little sleepy and didn't write down my experience.
It seems it's happening a lot more lately.
Mon
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Opinions count
For so long as a kid I was told to "stay in a child's place" and of course having that being said to me was actually hurtful. I use to wonder why. Was it because the ideas of a young person just not worthy?
This bring up something I was watching last night with my sister. It was a video in which young children to young teens watched two separate videos of one person of the same gender proposing to the other person. They're opinions were actually quite nice to hear. I understand that some children speak out of place sometimes, but seriously hushing them from speaking their opinion, what kind of person would that make them into in the future? Wouldn't it be better to have a group of people who actually possess the means to think on their own? I'm not saying that cooperating is not good, it's just that when a child is allowed to flourish and be who they are, they are an individual. And yes, I understand that it's even possible for the child to have views differing from a parent. Yes I understand respecting the parents. I understand that all. But there's this "control" factor that really gets me.
I always think of parents as guardians. They guide, not control someone's life. Giving advice, warnings, and telling a person about how the world truly is, seems much more important to me than telling them what to believe in. It's like putting a blanket over someone's possible personality.
So, what's this all about?
Well, for an online assignment, I have to say I'm actually pretty happy. I often mention how I don't like giving my opinion, or rather, I don't like explaining myself. But somehow, the questions come to me sometimes. Questions from others. And I was given some questions about something I have zero knowledge about, and yet, they still asked me questions lol Why?
Well, I don't necessarily think I'm completely opened to everything. I consider them. When someone provides me with something, I take that and spin it on it's head to get another look at it. In the assignment we were to talk about nuclear power plants. I'd love to hear someone with knowledge talk about them. Then I'd like to talk to someone who's against them, just to hear the varying ideas.
A lot of the students had some very valid reason for liking and disliking what they do.
O__O I think about being a group leader and I realize how hard it is. It's about trying to help everyone, but even I know we can't please the whole world. I think it's about compromising, communicating, listening (and I mean truly listening) and taking into consideration the ideas of others. It's not just about one person, it's about a whole bunch of people with varying ideas and beliefs.
A lot of people take their beliefs seriously. And why should someone else try to take away what they believe because they don't agree with it? The thing is is that it works for them. However, I do draw the line when those beliefs cause someone to harm someone else.
In life, however, there are difficult choices, because not everyone is this way. Some people are pro-survival and will cut you down. What then? Does a person who does not tolerate violence, will they allow this person to cut down their whole group because they don't believe in violence?
And where does it start? I think it starts from the root of the tree. The very beginning. The very basic. I believe there's a way to lower this violence. I think we're both animal like and also very human. But we choose which one we'll be (more of which side we'll be). I definitely believe it starts with the children.From what they see, to what they learn.
I'm not saying not to tell children about violence. I'll tell you one thing, I remember being told "that's not good" without a reason why it's not good! When you tell an older friend "he/she is no good" do you think that person will just buy that? Chances are they'll say something like "why" or "what did they do?" as they need more information than that.
Children are the same! Just because they are tiny doesn't mean anything. They're impressionable (some). They are tiny people learning about the world, but their eyes are wider than the eyes of an adult.
And what's more is that a lot of us based our ideas on judgments and preconceived ideas without any actual facts. This isn't wrong. No, it's actually a human thing. It's to protect us. But I'm constantly reading about how reasoning and research should also be used with "feelings" and "gut feelings". Okay okay. I'll explain. If your gut tells you not to walk down a scary dark alley, then don't do it. That to me, would seem like common sense.
When it comes to people, we can pick up energy on them that just says "they're bad", but here's the thing. I've had people tell me that certain people just aren't right, and yet, the people they're talking about are rarely listened to. You never know how helpful it is to just listen to someone.
Now, the problem I run into is people who want to follow me lol It becomes a problem at this point.I believe it's due to my energy or something. But I would hope they have some form of self-control.
I cannot control someone. The way someone may feel. Anything like that, I cannot do. But I can control what I do or say. I feel that if I provide this to others, it may help in someway. I would just hope they aren't greedy and don't try to force me to be their MAIN FOCUS.
I know those kinds of people exist. We would like to be around something that makes us feel better. The reason I know this is because I experienced it first hand. I was the one who wanted to be around someone who made me feel as if my opinion mattered!
Honestly, I'll be completely honest. It will creep people out!! Understand, if a person is moving on in life, it's not your place to hold them back. They are brought into your life to help you get over a pivotal point. Think of this person as a rescue worker. Once they help you, won't it be better to just thank them. Not every person you meet is suppose to stay in your life forever.
I've come to understand this. And now I don't need that person anymore. I'm grateful, I really am. :) It takes a great deal of believing in yourself to let go. It's kind of like having a caring figure come into your life, take your hand, and help you out. It's difficult to let go because things made sense then. But please know that you are a smart being who has to believe in yourself!
If you make a mistake (which will happen) don't be afraid! Take it one step at a time. You can do it.
You're important, just like everyone else. You matter and so does what you believe.You never know who will agree with you and who you can help, not until you actually speak up.
On another note, please know that there is always a proper way to approach a situation. To make it so it won't go from bad to worse lol use your head sometimes. Not everything needs to be head-butted.
And on that note, I'm going now.
See you in my next blog.
Mon
This bring up something I was watching last night with my sister. It was a video in which young children to young teens watched two separate videos of one person of the same gender proposing to the other person. They're opinions were actually quite nice to hear. I understand that some children speak out of place sometimes, but seriously hushing them from speaking their opinion, what kind of person would that make them into in the future? Wouldn't it be better to have a group of people who actually possess the means to think on their own? I'm not saying that cooperating is not good, it's just that when a child is allowed to flourish and be who they are, they are an individual. And yes, I understand that it's even possible for the child to have views differing from a parent. Yes I understand respecting the parents. I understand that all. But there's this "control" factor that really gets me.
I always think of parents as guardians. They guide, not control someone's life. Giving advice, warnings, and telling a person about how the world truly is, seems much more important to me than telling them what to believe in. It's like putting a blanket over someone's possible personality.
So, what's this all about?
Well, for an online assignment, I have to say I'm actually pretty happy. I often mention how I don't like giving my opinion, or rather, I don't like explaining myself. But somehow, the questions come to me sometimes. Questions from others. And I was given some questions about something I have zero knowledge about, and yet, they still asked me questions lol Why?
Well, I don't necessarily think I'm completely opened to everything. I consider them. When someone provides me with something, I take that and spin it on it's head to get another look at it. In the assignment we were to talk about nuclear power plants. I'd love to hear someone with knowledge talk about them. Then I'd like to talk to someone who's against them, just to hear the varying ideas.
A lot of the students had some very valid reason for liking and disliking what they do.
O__O I think about being a group leader and I realize how hard it is. It's about trying to help everyone, but even I know we can't please the whole world. I think it's about compromising, communicating, listening (and I mean truly listening) and taking into consideration the ideas of others. It's not just about one person, it's about a whole bunch of people with varying ideas and beliefs.
A lot of people take their beliefs seriously. And why should someone else try to take away what they believe because they don't agree with it? The thing is is that it works for them. However, I do draw the line when those beliefs cause someone to harm someone else.
In life, however, there are difficult choices, because not everyone is this way. Some people are pro-survival and will cut you down. What then? Does a person who does not tolerate violence, will they allow this person to cut down their whole group because they don't believe in violence?
And where does it start? I think it starts from the root of the tree. The very beginning. The very basic. I believe there's a way to lower this violence. I think we're both animal like and also very human. But we choose which one we'll be (more of which side we'll be). I definitely believe it starts with the children.From what they see, to what they learn.
I'm not saying not to tell children about violence. I'll tell you one thing, I remember being told "that's not good" without a reason why it's not good! When you tell an older friend "he/she is no good" do you think that person will just buy that? Chances are they'll say something like "why" or "what did they do?" as they need more information than that.
Children are the same! Just because they are tiny doesn't mean anything. They're impressionable (some). They are tiny people learning about the world, but their eyes are wider than the eyes of an adult.
And what's more is that a lot of us based our ideas on judgments and preconceived ideas without any actual facts. This isn't wrong. No, it's actually a human thing. It's to protect us. But I'm constantly reading about how reasoning and research should also be used with "feelings" and "gut feelings". Okay okay. I'll explain. If your gut tells you not to walk down a scary dark alley, then don't do it. That to me, would seem like common sense.
When it comes to people, we can pick up energy on them that just says "they're bad", but here's the thing. I've had people tell me that certain people just aren't right, and yet, the people they're talking about are rarely listened to. You never know how helpful it is to just listen to someone.
Now, the problem I run into is people who want to follow me lol It becomes a problem at this point.I believe it's due to my energy or something. But I would hope they have some form of self-control.
I cannot control someone. The way someone may feel. Anything like that, I cannot do. But I can control what I do or say. I feel that if I provide this to others, it may help in someway. I would just hope they aren't greedy and don't try to force me to be their MAIN FOCUS.
I know those kinds of people exist. We would like to be around something that makes us feel better. The reason I know this is because I experienced it first hand. I was the one who wanted to be around someone who made me feel as if my opinion mattered!
Honestly, I'll be completely honest. It will creep people out!! Understand, if a person is moving on in life, it's not your place to hold them back. They are brought into your life to help you get over a pivotal point. Think of this person as a rescue worker. Once they help you, won't it be better to just thank them. Not every person you meet is suppose to stay in your life forever.
I've come to understand this. And now I don't need that person anymore. I'm grateful, I really am. :) It takes a great deal of believing in yourself to let go. It's kind of like having a caring figure come into your life, take your hand, and help you out. It's difficult to let go because things made sense then. But please know that you are a smart being who has to believe in yourself!
If you make a mistake (which will happen) don't be afraid! Take it one step at a time. You can do it.
You're important, just like everyone else. You matter and so does what you believe.You never know who will agree with you and who you can help, not until you actually speak up.
On another note, please know that there is always a proper way to approach a situation. To make it so it won't go from bad to worse lol use your head sometimes. Not everything needs to be head-butted.
And on that note, I'm going now.
See you in my next blog.
Mon
Thursday, March 27, 2014
The sleepy adventures!
So today I thought I'd talk about something I've experienced before.
In the past I would do some sketches before bed (I'd try to do quite a lot of work before bed).So I'm looking through one of my old sketchbooks and "oh hey! So pretty funny sketches are here! Oh...and wait..." I see the words:
"I just saw my drawing blink. I must be really sleepy"
I instantly started chuckling to myself. Have you ever had one of those moments where you might see something because you're sleepy? Or you might write something, find it months later and try to figure out when you wrote it?
I've also had moments where my words become very slurred and I can't stop laughing and just about every little thing is funny lol And some people might ask "What are you smoking?" lol I'm not smoking anything, chances are I'm sleepy!
Then there's also slow moments when I have to serious THINK about I'm going to do. For example, I once walked into a wall. Sounds like a normal thing, right? Well, I'll explain what happened. I stood at the entry way of the kitchen (the halfway point between the entryway and a wall), staring directly at the refrigerator and thought "I'm going to walk to the fridge." I took a step and walked into the wall. I seriously don't know what happened that day,but I didn't even process that I had to step away from the wall to get from point A to point B.
I also say crazy things when I'm sleepy. I make stupid jokes too. Who needs to drink to get loose when lack of sleep gives the same effect? :P
Oh! Also I almost rolled off my bed earlier this week. I went to roll over and I felt my leg was about to fall off the bed lol I also rolled my face into my glass of water that was resting on my nightstand.
And the last thing I've done while sleepy or sleeping was pop up and sat up and tried to either...actually you know what? I have no idea was I was trying to do but I sat up and just upper body planked into the wall that was on the one side of my bed lol I guess I thought I fell asleep in the direction that isn't the wall.
Now I see why our bodies kind of shut down so we won't act out our dreams. Recently I've had times where I heard a family member call me while I was asleep. I'd sit up and say "yeah?" only to find that no one called me. I will often wake up from sounds in my dreams and think they were real sounds in reality lol Dreams are dangerous! xD
That's all for now. This week is my final week and I have two more chemistry assignments and a quiz to go. I can do it!
Mon
In the past I would do some sketches before bed (I'd try to do quite a lot of work before bed).So I'm looking through one of my old sketchbooks and "oh hey! So pretty funny sketches are here! Oh...and wait..." I see the words:
"I just saw my drawing blink. I must be really sleepy"
I instantly started chuckling to myself. Have you ever had one of those moments where you might see something because you're sleepy? Or you might write something, find it months later and try to figure out when you wrote it?
I've also had moments where my words become very slurred and I can't stop laughing and just about every little thing is funny lol And some people might ask "What are you smoking?" lol I'm not smoking anything, chances are I'm sleepy!
Then there's also slow moments when I have to serious THINK about I'm going to do. For example, I once walked into a wall. Sounds like a normal thing, right? Well, I'll explain what happened. I stood at the entry way of the kitchen (the halfway point between the entryway and a wall), staring directly at the refrigerator and thought "I'm going to walk to the fridge." I took a step and walked into the wall. I seriously don't know what happened that day,but I didn't even process that I had to step away from the wall to get from point A to point B.
I also say crazy things when I'm sleepy. I make stupid jokes too. Who needs to drink to get loose when lack of sleep gives the same effect? :P
Oh! Also I almost rolled off my bed earlier this week. I went to roll over and I felt my leg was about to fall off the bed lol I also rolled my face into my glass of water that was resting on my nightstand.
And the last thing I've done while sleepy or sleeping was pop up and sat up and tried to either...actually you know what? I have no idea was I was trying to do but I sat up and just upper body planked into the wall that was on the one side of my bed lol I guess I thought I fell asleep in the direction that isn't the wall.
Now I see why our bodies kind of shut down so we won't act out our dreams. Recently I've had times where I heard a family member call me while I was asleep. I'd sit up and say "yeah?" only to find that no one called me. I will often wake up from sounds in my dreams and think they were real sounds in reality lol Dreams are dangerous! xD
That's all for now. This week is my final week and I have two more chemistry assignments and a quiz to go. I can do it!
Mon
Friday, March 21, 2014
No reading got done! D: But some shopping did °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖° (WARNING: Possible steering off topic :P)
Whoooooo Shopping!♥
Hiiiii~~~~~
Okay! So personally I don't like clothes shopping and shoe shopping....okay maybe shoe shopping is something I enjoy to a minimum, but I seriously dread clothes shopping. I don't like spending a lot of time thinking "does this look good on me or not?" lol because I find it a waste. If I like something I'll get it. If I think it's too small I'll try it on just to see if it fits. If so, I'll buy it.
I guess this dislike for shopping came from doing so much shopping as a kid. My mom was often shopping and buying shoes and asking us (my sisters and I) if we liked them. For me it was very daunting spending so much time in a mall walking around and possibly doing no shopping in each store. My legs would often hurt very badly and my feet would feel like they were on fire. Urgh, just horrible lol so maybe this contributes to my dislike.
Anyway, I did do some shopping and there is a kind of shopping I enjoy doing. I like buying scented things, such as sprays for the home, bath soak, emergency kits, looking at painting at discount stores lol things like that.
Today I purchased a few things! Although my plan was to read my chemistry stuff before tomorrow, I ended up out in the stores with my mom :/ Somehow I ended up spending a little but more than intended...then again I didn't have an intended amount that I said I'd spend. More often it would be that I would put some money in my pocket and some extra money over that money just in case I didn't have the correct amount.
That's not to say I didn't have any money left in my wallet, no I did. It's just I had in my head what I intended to purchase. I ended up purchasing maybe two or three things that weren't something I wanted to purchase.
Am I a cheapskate? Nope. But I do have a limit on how much I'm willing to spend on something depending on the object and how much use I'll get out of it.
For example, in high school my mom purchased a pair of Baby phat pants for me that were on sale. The sale price was about $100. I felt that it's a ridiculous amount of money for just ONE pair of pants! I only wore them once, but I can still fit them to this day. I'm very cautious with things that are expensive.
Anyways, I am willing to pay a bit more for something such as a microphone or recording software for singing. Because I'd like a professional sound.. It's something I'll know that I'll continuously use. Also, I feel that I can be a bit impulsive if I know I have some kind of income lol
Seriously, looking at my mom's situation now I would definitely think it's best to save up some money. That's not to say "don't buy anything good for yourself once in a while" but it simply means be prepared to have backup money just in case of an emergency.
Of course there's that other side of me that says "Live a little!" because if something were to happen where money didn't have any meaning and it became pointless (kind of like a Great Depression or something) I would think "darn! I should've just made that purchase!" <--I believe something like that is possible! D:
But I do think it's important not to spend beyond your means, or spending beyond what you make. It's like have a savings where you don't touch the money at all. It'll be like a special saving's account. It's your just JUST in case account. <---the super important emergency account or savings!
Then have a savings (not meaning you, but is something I'd like to do!) that you can dip into when needed for small emergencies, such as not having enough to pay a bill or needed a little extra to pay for rent. This could mainly be for holding the amount for necessities.
Then there's the you account that is leisure, food, etc. It's the fun money.
See? With a plan like this it's easy to know what's what. It's more organized. :) Kind of like having a room in your house for certain activities, such as a living room, dining room, kitchen etc.
Those rooms are made for certain functions. I understand that sometimes we do things in certain rooms that aren't meant for that room, but hey, breaking the rules sometimes can actually be helpful.
Such a plan is more organized :)
I think it's always best to have an idea of what actually is at the moment. Meaning to know exactly what exist at this moment if needed.
For me, it may not be money (at the moment I have some and it's better than nothing), but I work to improve myself skill wise. I find that when it's not something physical I'm pursuing or waiting to pursue, I up my skill abilities! ∩(︶▽︶)∩
Because those skills are what help me progress in life! Besides, I enjoy it :) These moments are enough time for me to catch my breath and analyze myself and my attitude. I find this to be the me moments. For me, it's to not lose sight of who I am. Doing something like this could likely help me! Because when things get hectic, no matter what I can say "this is definitely who I am!"
*Looks up at title*.....I'm so glad I added that warning lol
Well, in the end, I did do some shopping. It was for simple things. I also called a friend. She seems well but things didn't work out for the father of her baby :/ It seems that a lot of young people seem to have this problem. Well, we live an learn! Falling out happens. Sometimes for the better :) So it's not so bad. Makes room for new things in life.
Also, next week is my last week for this quarter! I'm so ready for that *__* This quarter I tried to work my butt off with giving a lot of effort in my artwork. My classmates may think it's my all, but my all usually takes longer lol But I am passing my classes. I thank my goal from last year! My goal last year was that everyday I would do my best! I wouldn't give up no matter what.
Now it's not much of a goal, but something I feel is something that is normal and I feel I would like to strive to achieve. My best efforts is truly me at my best! I feel that when people see my work when I give my all, it's like seeing what I can do and who I am as a person. Such a thing is satisfying for me. It's not so much to get others input (I'm sure that can't be avoided), but it's to show myself that I can do it. :) Maybe something like this will inspire someone else. To show them that they can too!
Self improving, I believe, can be helpful not just to myself, but to others. I never push this to the side. Somehow I feel that the help I'm giving to myself, the love and positive talk I give to myself, I'm giving to others as well. Because I'm improving myself, and that improvement is something I show the world. It's something I give to others. I hope that makes sense!
Oh! I also realized I talk about myself more here. In the beginning it was something I wanted to avoid :/ I felt it was a little vain. But now I know that it helps me! And hey, somewhere out there, maybe even years from now, someone will be reading this and saying "Oh! It helps me too! She's just like me!"
We're all rowing the boat of life. Just keep paddling away~~♪( ´▽｀)
Hiiiii~~~~~
Okay! So personally I don't like clothes shopping and shoe shopping....okay maybe shoe shopping is something I enjoy to a minimum, but I seriously dread clothes shopping. I don't like spending a lot of time thinking "does this look good on me or not?" lol because I find it a waste. If I like something I'll get it. If I think it's too small I'll try it on just to see if it fits. If so, I'll buy it.
I guess this dislike for shopping came from doing so much shopping as a kid. My mom was often shopping and buying shoes and asking us (my sisters and I) if we liked them. For me it was very daunting spending so much time in a mall walking around and possibly doing no shopping in each store. My legs would often hurt very badly and my feet would feel like they were on fire. Urgh, just horrible lol so maybe this contributes to my dislike.
Anyway, I did do some shopping and there is a kind of shopping I enjoy doing. I like buying scented things, such as sprays for the home, bath soak, emergency kits, looking at painting at discount stores lol things like that.
Today I purchased a few things! Although my plan was to read my chemistry stuff before tomorrow, I ended up out in the stores with my mom :/ Somehow I ended up spending a little but more than intended...then again I didn't have an intended amount that I said I'd spend. More often it would be that I would put some money in my pocket and some extra money over that money just in case I didn't have the correct amount.
That's not to say I didn't have any money left in my wallet, no I did. It's just I had in my head what I intended to purchase. I ended up purchasing maybe two or three things that weren't something I wanted to purchase.
Am I a cheapskate? Nope. But I do have a limit on how much I'm willing to spend on something depending on the object and how much use I'll get out of it.
For example, in high school my mom purchased a pair of Baby phat pants for me that were on sale. The sale price was about $100. I felt that it's a ridiculous amount of money for just ONE pair of pants! I only wore them once, but I can still fit them to this day. I'm very cautious with things that are expensive.
Anyways, I am willing to pay a bit more for something such as a microphone or recording software for singing. Because I'd like a professional sound.. It's something I'll know that I'll continuously use. Also, I feel that I can be a bit impulsive if I know I have some kind of income lol
Seriously, looking at my mom's situation now I would definitely think it's best to save up some money. That's not to say "don't buy anything good for yourself once in a while" but it simply means be prepared to have backup money just in case of an emergency.
Of course there's that other side of me that says "Live a little!" because if something were to happen where money didn't have any meaning and it became pointless (kind of like a Great Depression or something) I would think "darn! I should've just made that purchase!" <--I believe something like that is possible! D:
But I do think it's important not to spend beyond your means, or spending beyond what you make. It's like have a savings where you don't touch the money at all. It'll be like a special saving's account. It's your just JUST in case account. <---the super important emergency account or savings!
Then have a savings (not meaning you, but is something I'd like to do!) that you can dip into when needed for small emergencies, such as not having enough to pay a bill or needed a little extra to pay for rent. This could mainly be for holding the amount for necessities.
Then there's the you account that is leisure, food, etc. It's the fun money.
See? With a plan like this it's easy to know what's what. It's more organized. :) Kind of like having a room in your house for certain activities, such as a living room, dining room, kitchen etc.
Those rooms are made for certain functions. I understand that sometimes we do things in certain rooms that aren't meant for that room, but hey, breaking the rules sometimes can actually be helpful.
Such a plan is more organized :)
I think it's always best to have an idea of what actually is at the moment. Meaning to know exactly what exist at this moment if needed.
For me, it may not be money (at the moment I have some and it's better than nothing), but I work to improve myself skill wise. I find that when it's not something physical I'm pursuing or waiting to pursue, I up my skill abilities! ∩(︶▽︶)∩
Because those skills are what help me progress in life! Besides, I enjoy it :) These moments are enough time for me to catch my breath and analyze myself and my attitude. I find this to be the me moments. For me, it's to not lose sight of who I am. Doing something like this could likely help me! Because when things get hectic, no matter what I can say "this is definitely who I am!"
*Looks up at title*.....I'm so glad I added that warning lol
Well, in the end, I did do some shopping. It was for simple things. I also called a friend. She seems well but things didn't work out for the father of her baby :/ It seems that a lot of young people seem to have this problem. Well, we live an learn! Falling out happens. Sometimes for the better :) So it's not so bad. Makes room for new things in life.
Also, next week is my last week for this quarter! I'm so ready for that *__* This quarter I tried to work my butt off with giving a lot of effort in my artwork. My classmates may think it's my all, but my all usually takes longer lol But I am passing my classes. I thank my goal from last year! My goal last year was that everyday I would do my best! I wouldn't give up no matter what.
Now it's not much of a goal, but something I feel is something that is normal and I feel I would like to strive to achieve. My best efforts is truly me at my best! I feel that when people see my work when I give my all, it's like seeing what I can do and who I am as a person. Such a thing is satisfying for me. It's not so much to get others input (I'm sure that can't be avoided), but it's to show myself that I can do it. :) Maybe something like this will inspire someone else. To show them that they can too!
Self improving, I believe, can be helpful not just to myself, but to others. I never push this to the side. Somehow I feel that the help I'm giving to myself, the love and positive talk I give to myself, I'm giving to others as well. Because I'm improving myself, and that improvement is something I show the world. It's something I give to others. I hope that makes sense!
Oh! I also realized I talk about myself more here. In the beginning it was something I wanted to avoid :/ I felt it was a little vain. But now I know that it helps me! And hey, somewhere out there, maybe even years from now, someone will be reading this and saying "Oh! It helps me too! She's just like me!"
We're all rowing the boat of life. Just keep paddling away~~♪( ´▽｀)
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Superheros always win!
Hi!
Today I don't have class and I also don't have any Chemistry work that's due (but I'll do some reading beforehand).
Anyways, I wanted to talk about something. I believe I wrote a blog about how I wanted to write stories or create art which gave people a sense of peace or happiness. I was just sitting here thinking about how it'll almost be impossible without some kind of obstacle. The feeling of struggle that character faces in one the audience would probably be able to relate to, right? The happiness usually comes after an obstacle has been overcome.
I thought that, and then started thinking about how I use to hate when the good guys would always win. When I was a kid, me and my younger sister would watch cartoons or things like the PowerRangers, and a lot of the times I would think "Oh! C'mon bad guy!" because I was annoyed at how the good guys always seemed invincible! Lol With cartoons, it was the same.
I believe there's a different way to approach this. Most of the time I don't think the good guy knows the true purpose for why the bad guy is doing what they do. This is something I feel would make the audience conflicted with who's the true good guy and who's the true bad guy. I think that everyone has a reason for why they do things. Perhaps that's why I got annoyed lol they don't understand the bad guy, and yet they can easily laugh with their friends into the sunset, leaving the bad guy all alone in a ditch somewhere.
This is kind of why I like Hayao Miyazaki movies. I never realized it while watching it, but I read that there is no true evil villain, although it would seem that way at first.
Then again, thinking this way (about handing out some kind of peace or happiness) might be a bit naive, because everyone find that different things make them happy. It's not necessarily that I think that everyone is in a bad place in life and need a happy place to go, no way. It's more like, if someone views my art, or read something I write, when they're done reading it, I'd like for them to be able to understand the serenity behind it. Kind of like "ohhh~ The colors are so warm, it makes me feel warm and cozy" or something. That doesn't mean I want to limit myself to just this! I like sad things too. Such as sad music, but I also like happy and bright things.
This is going to be completely off topic, but last night I found the cartoon Clifford the Big Red Dog on netflixs! Soooo many thoughts while watching it. I thought Clifford was way too scary because 1. he looks like a red devil dog and 2. he's gigantic! And yet, everyone accepts him lol As a kid I loved this show. I would want to cry whenever the show ended, I have no idea why lol But as a kid, I never questioned any of that. And I started to wonder if a lot of kids are that way. Just watching something without actually understanding what it is that they're watching.
There's two reactions they might have: fear or happiness! They can tell when something is scary or something makes them happy. Y'know, I miss those carefree days!♥ Not that I think they're gone or anything (I'm still the same me!) it's just we learn more about the world. We're told to be cautious. And this truly makes sense when we finally see it for ourselves.
Kids aren't dumb, but they're not going to over think things as well. I always find it annoying to see adults talking to kids as if they don't have much sense. Hm...then again they (the children) do argue over petty things lol or this is what I remember for myself anyways. But I seriously don't want to take away that carefreeness that they have. I'd like to see older people be this way. Not afraid to play in a puddle or water. Or spinning around in circles under the sun. Why do we feel so limited as we get older? I seriously don't like that there's this "You're this age, so you behave this way" kind of thing.
For example, Mariah Carey came out with a perfume (and I believe a commercial) where she used butterflies. There were some people who felt she was too "old" for something like that. lol There was also those people who thought she should be free to use what she wants.
Seriously, looking at that kind of situation, I really start to understand more and more that some people will like something and others won't. Then it's the thought "should I appeal only to that portion that does like it?" and I believe we all know a lot of people will say "just do what you enjoy!" because it doesn't matter. However, as humans, aren't we social creatures? Is it natural to want acceptance and to be acknowledged? I wonder if people become embarrassed to admit this? Looking at things as they truly are, I seriously believe we are still children, regardless of how are bodies age. We just have societal limitations that we feel we're obliged to follow.
If we can admit honestly, even if it's to ourselves, that we need love, that we need caring, that we need to nurtured, and people listened and they understood, wouldn't it be easier to resolved what needs to be fixed? However, we may pretend that it doesn't exist (those feelings). And sometimes, we even play it strong.
Then there's the matter of, well, if we say it, what's the point because no one will care anyways. Someone will hear. We thing such a thing is weak. There's this back and forth thing between men and women where women want to be treated as equal but they want advantages in certain areas because they're women. Then men want women to stop screaming "equality" when they don't quite want equality because there's always that "but we need this...." and it doesn't make the situation equal because men don't have it.
My thing is this, women have things that men do not naturally have, and men have things that women do not naturally have. Our brains are different! But because of history, there's a bitterness. Possibly because some men and women experienced it in another lifetime, but seriously holding grudges does nothing.
I know I don't really like asking for help, because I like to try on my own (it's a challenge) and I'd feel bad asking for help. But no matter how we look at it, strong or not, there's always that part of us which appreciate that kind of help. When I was reading this psychology book, it says it's because we'll feel obliged to pay a person back.And honestly, it's not something we need to do, but still we feel we have to.
I do believe a lot can be solved with being honest with ourselves, if not anyone else. We're feeling creatures in some way or another, and when we properly feel and allow that energy to be, then we aren't blocking it anymore. People feel on a different degree, but they still feel.
Another thing that might hold us back are illogical feelings. It's frightening to have a feeling and not understand why we feel the way we do. The best thing I can advise is to come to terms with it. Feelings are not bad, they aren't the culprit. It's how we deal with the feelings with actions that's the problem.
For example, feeling angry is not a problem. But lashing out at someone with negative words, is the problem because it can lead to more of a problem then what was necessary.
I even read somewhere a while back that even positive feelings can have a negative effect. For example, being too optimistic can lead to disappointment. Because we're seeing everything so positively, it would seem nothing can go wrong and then it does.
I think thinking logically goes hand and hand with feelings. But feelings come first for some. So the balance would be to try to be a bit more reasoning before acting out. Sometimes cold hard logical doesn't always work either. I've come to find that even in the business world there's a trust in one's intuition when it comes to hiring employees or making business choices.
Some people are good at finding this balance, and others still struggle with it. Some people wonder what's the purpose of life, if this doesn't sound like a mission in itself, I don't know what does lol
I can understand a bit of the chaos of the world. A person has to deal with outer influences, and inner influences. And sometimes, they aren't even completely aware of what those inner influences are, so they try to figure it out using the outer world, and yet, are never pleased. Or some people may even work hard, have everything, and pretend to be pleased, but there's still that nagging feeling that they just can't describe. And then there's the people who'll go with just about anything they feel will make them happy, only to find it doesn't work out even when they put all their heart into it!
To me, this is life. I don't have to live as those people to understand that there seems to be something similar that they're all reaching for. I can't explain to you or tell you what it is, but I can definitely feel it.
I'll be honest, I don't like feeling. I can say with honesty that I'm a sensitive person. I cry easily and I get hurt way too easily. But one thing I know and appreciate about this is that, in the back or my mind, I'll always somehow consider the other person's feeling. As a human being I would say "it sucks! I hate it!" but it doesn't make it disappear. This is especially true for people I care about. If they say mean things I'll instantly become angry and say "forget them! I'll just move far away and they don't have to see me anymore. I'll live my happy life without them!" but soon after I'll start to think that if something were to happen to them and they needed a caregiver, could I be there to do it? I'm sure they'd appreciate it. In this world, people are in need of mercy, right?
But then, there's that said that says that people should be responsible for their own actions. That we shouldn't be held accountable for their actions! Then I'd think that as them, the people who did the actions, they may have did it thinking it were the best choice. Just as the people who believe that leaving them as they are to suffer in their own consequences, is the right thing to do.
@__@Ohhhh the endless possibilities to life. This is when I really believe that knowing one's self is important. This is when the risk of being who you truly are, comes into play. It's trusting yourself so much (more than you would anything in this world) that you believe that no matter what the consequences of your actions are, you know that you're doing things based on who you truly are. It's never backing down or questioning if you made the right choice. Because you just KNOW that everything will work out. Because you're following something that is much powerful the any situation on this earth. And that is power within itself.
Well, that's all for now.
Mon
Today I don't have class and I also don't have any Chemistry work that's due (but I'll do some reading beforehand).
Anyways, I wanted to talk about something. I believe I wrote a blog about how I wanted to write stories or create art which gave people a sense of peace or happiness. I was just sitting here thinking about how it'll almost be impossible without some kind of obstacle. The feeling of struggle that character faces in one the audience would probably be able to relate to, right? The happiness usually comes after an obstacle has been overcome.
I thought that, and then started thinking about how I use to hate when the good guys would always win. When I was a kid, me and my younger sister would watch cartoons or things like the PowerRangers, and a lot of the times I would think "Oh! C'mon bad guy!" because I was annoyed at how the good guys always seemed invincible! Lol With cartoons, it was the same.
I believe there's a different way to approach this. Most of the time I don't think the good guy knows the true purpose for why the bad guy is doing what they do. This is something I feel would make the audience conflicted with who's the true good guy and who's the true bad guy. I think that everyone has a reason for why they do things. Perhaps that's why I got annoyed lol they don't understand the bad guy, and yet they can easily laugh with their friends into the sunset, leaving the bad guy all alone in a ditch somewhere.
This is kind of why I like Hayao Miyazaki movies. I never realized it while watching it, but I read that there is no true evil villain, although it would seem that way at first.
Then again, thinking this way (about handing out some kind of peace or happiness) might be a bit naive, because everyone find that different things make them happy. It's not necessarily that I think that everyone is in a bad place in life and need a happy place to go, no way. It's more like, if someone views my art, or read something I write, when they're done reading it, I'd like for them to be able to understand the serenity behind it. Kind of like "ohhh~ The colors are so warm, it makes me feel warm and cozy" or something. That doesn't mean I want to limit myself to just this! I like sad things too. Such as sad music, but I also like happy and bright things.
This is going to be completely off topic, but last night I found the cartoon Clifford the Big Red Dog on netflixs! Soooo many thoughts while watching it. I thought Clifford was way too scary because 1. he looks like a red devil dog and 2. he's gigantic! And yet, everyone accepts him lol As a kid I loved this show. I would want to cry whenever the show ended, I have no idea why lol But as a kid, I never questioned any of that. And I started to wonder if a lot of kids are that way. Just watching something without actually understanding what it is that they're watching.
There's two reactions they might have: fear or happiness! They can tell when something is scary or something makes them happy. Y'know, I miss those carefree days!♥ Not that I think they're gone or anything (I'm still the same me!) it's just we learn more about the world. We're told to be cautious. And this truly makes sense when we finally see it for ourselves.
Kids aren't dumb, but they're not going to over think things as well. I always find it annoying to see adults talking to kids as if they don't have much sense. Hm...then again they (the children) do argue over petty things lol or this is what I remember for myself anyways. But I seriously don't want to take away that carefreeness that they have. I'd like to see older people be this way. Not afraid to play in a puddle or water. Or spinning around in circles under the sun. Why do we feel so limited as we get older? I seriously don't like that there's this "You're this age, so you behave this way" kind of thing.
For example, Mariah Carey came out with a perfume (and I believe a commercial) where she used butterflies. There were some people who felt she was too "old" for something like that. lol There was also those people who thought she should be free to use what she wants.
Seriously, looking at that kind of situation, I really start to understand more and more that some people will like something and others won't. Then it's the thought "should I appeal only to that portion that does like it?" and I believe we all know a lot of people will say "just do what you enjoy!" because it doesn't matter. However, as humans, aren't we social creatures? Is it natural to want acceptance and to be acknowledged? I wonder if people become embarrassed to admit this? Looking at things as they truly are, I seriously believe we are still children, regardless of how are bodies age. We just have societal limitations that we feel we're obliged to follow.
If we can admit honestly, even if it's to ourselves, that we need love, that we need caring, that we need to nurtured, and people listened and they understood, wouldn't it be easier to resolved what needs to be fixed? However, we may pretend that it doesn't exist (those feelings). And sometimes, we even play it strong.
Then there's the matter of, well, if we say it, what's the point because no one will care anyways. Someone will hear. We thing such a thing is weak. There's this back and forth thing between men and women where women want to be treated as equal but they want advantages in certain areas because they're women. Then men want women to stop screaming "equality" when they don't quite want equality because there's always that "but we need this...." and it doesn't make the situation equal because men don't have it.
My thing is this, women have things that men do not naturally have, and men have things that women do not naturally have. Our brains are different! But because of history, there's a bitterness. Possibly because some men and women experienced it in another lifetime, but seriously holding grudges does nothing.
I know I don't really like asking for help, because I like to try on my own (it's a challenge) and I'd feel bad asking for help. But no matter how we look at it, strong or not, there's always that part of us which appreciate that kind of help. When I was reading this psychology book, it says it's because we'll feel obliged to pay a person back.And honestly, it's not something we need to do, but still we feel we have to.
I do believe a lot can be solved with being honest with ourselves, if not anyone else. We're feeling creatures in some way or another, and when we properly feel and allow that energy to be, then we aren't blocking it anymore. People feel on a different degree, but they still feel.
Another thing that might hold us back are illogical feelings. It's frightening to have a feeling and not understand why we feel the way we do. The best thing I can advise is to come to terms with it. Feelings are not bad, they aren't the culprit. It's how we deal with the feelings with actions that's the problem.
For example, feeling angry is not a problem. But lashing out at someone with negative words, is the problem because it can lead to more of a problem then what was necessary.
I even read somewhere a while back that even positive feelings can have a negative effect. For example, being too optimistic can lead to disappointment. Because we're seeing everything so positively, it would seem nothing can go wrong and then it does.
I think thinking logically goes hand and hand with feelings. But feelings come first for some. So the balance would be to try to be a bit more reasoning before acting out. Sometimes cold hard logical doesn't always work either. I've come to find that even in the business world there's a trust in one's intuition when it comes to hiring employees or making business choices.
Some people are good at finding this balance, and others still struggle with it. Some people wonder what's the purpose of life, if this doesn't sound like a mission in itself, I don't know what does lol
I can understand a bit of the chaos of the world. A person has to deal with outer influences, and inner influences. And sometimes, they aren't even completely aware of what those inner influences are, so they try to figure it out using the outer world, and yet, are never pleased. Or some people may even work hard, have everything, and pretend to be pleased, but there's still that nagging feeling that they just can't describe. And then there's the people who'll go with just about anything they feel will make them happy, only to find it doesn't work out even when they put all their heart into it!
To me, this is life. I don't have to live as those people to understand that there seems to be something similar that they're all reaching for. I can't explain to you or tell you what it is, but I can definitely feel it.
I'll be honest, I don't like feeling. I can say with honesty that I'm a sensitive person. I cry easily and I get hurt way too easily. But one thing I know and appreciate about this is that, in the back or my mind, I'll always somehow consider the other person's feeling. As a human being I would say "it sucks! I hate it!" but it doesn't make it disappear. This is especially true for people I care about. If they say mean things I'll instantly become angry and say "forget them! I'll just move far away and they don't have to see me anymore. I'll live my happy life without them!" but soon after I'll start to think that if something were to happen to them and they needed a caregiver, could I be there to do it? I'm sure they'd appreciate it. In this world, people are in need of mercy, right?
But then, there's that said that says that people should be responsible for their own actions. That we shouldn't be held accountable for their actions! Then I'd think that as them, the people who did the actions, they may have did it thinking it were the best choice. Just as the people who believe that leaving them as they are to suffer in their own consequences, is the right thing to do.
@__@Ohhhh the endless possibilities to life. This is when I really believe that knowing one's self is important. This is when the risk of being who you truly are, comes into play. It's trusting yourself so much (more than you would anything in this world) that you believe that no matter what the consequences of your actions are, you know that you're doing things based on who you truly are. It's never backing down or questioning if you made the right choice. Because you just KNOW that everything will work out. Because you're following something that is much powerful the any situation on this earth. And that is power within itself.
Well, that's all for now.
Mon
Friday, March 7, 2014
Have you ever....
Have you ever been scared out of your sleep by a noise from inside your dream?
For example, if you hear a loud thud, you pop up, get up and see if something fell in the house, but there's nothing?
I'm sure I'm not the only one
Mon
For example, if you hear a loud thud, you pop up, get up and see if something fell in the house, but there's nothing?
I'm sure I'm not the only one
Mon
We're like scales!
I think each person possesses a certain amount of different traits, and they also feel they need a certain amount of different parts to feel a bit happy! We're like scales, but different scales needed more or less of a certain thing.
For example, some people have a lot of extra confidence. When it is excessive, most people would probably consider it to be vain and annoying! To me it's funny sometimes, but I understand the annoyance. But looking at it I think "is there really anything wrong with that person?"
Well, I guess sometimes some of us can tell when someone's scale is tipping over! But I believe that those characteristics, even if they're annoying, make a person who they are. We're not perfect at all. I see it like this, someone who hides certain factors (this is similar to me) to try to either impress or make it seem as if they're normal, in comparison to a person who is all out there being exactly who they are, probably still has a lot to learn about learning and living. I think to truly live is to truly be who you are at the full extent and if you make a mistake, take responsibility for it, get up, and go for it again!
The person who is reserved may live very little, experiencing only a half cup of life. They don't get the full benefits. There's a kind of fear of leaving one's comfort zone. I think sometimes people become annoyed by people who are TOO out there. Let's take Miley Cyrus for example. Personally I don't dislike her. It's more to do with the fact that she's doing whatever without fear! The fact that she's fearless of whatever the consequences may be makes me feel that she's growing more. Even if the consequences are not good, there's something about growing and learning more from a huge situation.
I'm not sure if they is really true, but it's something I respect in some people. Such as a person who has a difficult life. I can't help but respect them. Especially if the make it to the surface from the dark! Something like that is not easy. And for the people who are risk takers, they charge into the situations head first! lol Isn't that amazing!
While the reserved ones slowly walk in , nervous and stopping at every sound. You see what I mean. Although the risk takers may come out battered, it seems they get farther in some way. I'm not say that everyone should run out there! Everyone is different. However, what I'm saying is that some people have more of something that others, and something like that, is it necessary to dislike? If you would like people to respect the introverted you, or the you who is shy, then you should at least try to respect the loud ones, the one's who are very confident.
I believe that seeing things in such a way makes things a lot easier! I mean, yeah that say irk comes back, but when I see things in this way I can't help but smile.
Now some people do force certain aspects to make it appear that they are something that they aren't. Personally I don't think this is wrong. It's kind of like pushing beyond your comfort zone. They seem awkward because it's no who they are, but eventually it may become second nature to them. It's something that's new that they're learning. Should we applaud them for trying?
I don't know if it's naive for me to think this way, or wise lol Honestly, I have no idea.
Mon
For example, some people have a lot of extra confidence. When it is excessive, most people would probably consider it to be vain and annoying! To me it's funny sometimes, but I understand the annoyance. But looking at it I think "is there really anything wrong with that person?"
Well, I guess sometimes some of us can tell when someone's scale is tipping over! But I believe that those characteristics, even if they're annoying, make a person who they are. We're not perfect at all. I see it like this, someone who hides certain factors (this is similar to me) to try to either impress or make it seem as if they're normal, in comparison to a person who is all out there being exactly who they are, probably still has a lot to learn about learning and living. I think to truly live is to truly be who you are at the full extent and if you make a mistake, take responsibility for it, get up, and go for it again!
The person who is reserved may live very little, experiencing only a half cup of life. They don't get the full benefits. There's a kind of fear of leaving one's comfort zone. I think sometimes people become annoyed by people who are TOO out there. Let's take Miley Cyrus for example. Personally I don't dislike her. It's more to do with the fact that she's doing whatever without fear! The fact that she's fearless of whatever the consequences may be makes me feel that she's growing more. Even if the consequences are not good, there's something about growing and learning more from a huge situation.
I'm not sure if they is really true, but it's something I respect in some people. Such as a person who has a difficult life. I can't help but respect them. Especially if the make it to the surface from the dark! Something like that is not easy. And for the people who are risk takers, they charge into the situations head first! lol Isn't that amazing!
While the reserved ones slowly walk in , nervous and stopping at every sound. You see what I mean. Although the risk takers may come out battered, it seems they get farther in some way. I'm not say that everyone should run out there! Everyone is different. However, what I'm saying is that some people have more of something that others, and something like that, is it necessary to dislike? If you would like people to respect the introverted you, or the you who is shy, then you should at least try to respect the loud ones, the one's who are very confident.
I believe that seeing things in such a way makes things a lot easier! I mean, yeah that say irk comes back, but when I see things in this way I can't help but smile.
Now some people do force certain aspects to make it appear that they are something that they aren't. Personally I don't think this is wrong. It's kind of like pushing beyond your comfort zone. They seem awkward because it's no who they are, but eventually it may become second nature to them. It's something that's new that they're learning. Should we applaud them for trying?
I don't know if it's naive for me to think this way, or wise lol Honestly, I have no idea.
Mon
That strange giddy feeling!
I often get this giddy (kind of similar to excitement) feeling in my chest when I do certain things or think of certain things. One example is that I'm reading some Chemistry work, and I'm reading about atmospheric pressure and suddenly I feel excited! lol Sometimes the feeling is so random. Such as if I'm sitting somewhere watching the sunlight pour on the floor, I'll probably feel it. Perhaps it's the "ahhh~ I'm really alive" kind of feeling lol
In my previous post I talked about bringing about happiness. Maybe it's not so much that I'll find people and do this. It's more based on the things I know I can do, the things I normally do. Without anyone to bother me or try to bring my energy down, I'm usually quite happy (unless I get bored lol). I feel that since it's something that's normal for me, maybe people will feel it and become happy. I don't feel like I need to force anything when it comes to being happy because simple things make me happy. I mean, I just mentioned looking at sunlight pouring though a window! There's a sense of peace to something like that. I enjoy being in an empty room where the light pours through.
Oh! I just thought about it. It's possible that giddy feeling came about because I just had coffee about an hour ago lol Maybe I'm getting hyper. Usually when I get hyper I just feel a huge surge of energy. I find it difficult to sit down and need to exert this energy. Normally I'd just clean or organize some things. It's tough to sit still at times like that!
Well, I guess I'll type something more here. So I order a book by one of my favorite inspirations! Did I use that word correctly? Anyways, I can't quite call myself a fan. I seriously don't get the meaning of that word. However I do become inspired by people. Mainly I become inspired by people who seem to be very genuine (recently I've been interested in hearing Pink and her views on a lot of things).
Anyways, I order a book by this person. I'm sure I mentioned it before, but this person has bee very helpful to me especially during tough times! Sometimes I feel a bit embarrassed to say things like that to people because it's something very personal to me. Maybe expressing it would be best to not make a situation weird. I had this kind of situation with this guy who I felt was very helpful. That kind of person is one I'd like to sit down with and just talk. Nothing more than that! In the past I acted so strange and I seriously felt so shameful afterwards because he probably thought I was a bit strange. And honestly, I felt I needed to explain myself but I didn't.
Getting off topic! Back to the point. I purchased a book by this singer! I like to hear what he has to say about life and his thoughts on stuff. Mainly because it's quite deep. I like deep thinkers! Or rather, I like people who don't look at life at just the surface. I'm not saying I won't talk to people who do, it's just that after a while things such as materialism become very boring to talk about!
So the book is another biography and it's all in Japanese! When I found it on amazon I wondered if it was worth purchasing because I haven't been studying Japanese at all! But then I saw that there was only one left in stock and I instantly purchased it! I thought "Ha! Now it's mine!" lol even with knowing there might be more in stock in the future.Without even knowing how to read many characters I thought it would be nice to have the actual book to practice reading TRUE Japanese. Not just that but I can read his thoughts without someone translating.
This is why I'm interested in other languages and cultures! It's not just one person sometimes. It's a whole country or a culture that interest me. I guess when it comes to speaking to someone personally it would seem a bit weird that they take an interest to you and you're not interested. But I'm not interested in that kind of relationship! I'm interested in learning from people and places. I like to hear new things, so I'd probably just ask a lot of questions. Eventually I'll get to the end and I may even leave and say "thanks for all your help!" while adding a new teacher to my list! :)
Back to the point, I'm interested in learning languages so I can understand what the person is saying. I know I can learn a language, but sometimes I just don't feel like it. I definitely believe I should go forth with my will power! With such power I'm sure I could accomplish a lot. Hm...recently I sound very confident! lol I guess there's nothing wrong with that.
But I feel this way mainly because if I say I can't do it, then it'll seem that way. I don't think learning a language is impossible! It's all about wrapping your mind around it. It's something new, but not important. I once read that we, as humans, can be quite adaptable. But I believe it really depends on what the person believes.
Anyways, I purchased this book and it will be here sometimes later during this month! I only have one CD by this person lol As I said I'm more interested in what he has to say. That doesn't mean I hate his music, I actually like a few of his songs. But I'm more interested in what he has to say. Music does communicate this sometimes, there's an emotional aspect.
I'm sure there are people all over the world who has something to say. I'd like to hear it! I'd like to hear how they feel, and what they think about certain things. Because they have grown up in a different place, they may see things differently. But I believe there's a common ground somewhere. I'm wonder if it truly links to love. Somehow I feel like I'm not doing this to get a hardcore action, but I'm doing it just to learn new things from others!
Speaking of which, this man who works at my school (he works in this place they call the cage. It's not an actual cage, but a room, I don't know why they call it a cage though lol), he said I listen very well! I wasn't surprised, but sometimes I feel like I talk to much...sometimes though. Especially if something is interesting. But I think they only reason he said this was because I told him what my name meant. Knowing the meaning of my name, as common as it is, as actually made me appreciate it a bit more!
Well, seriously I don't want to be the kind of person who says "I can do this, and that really well" because I feel it's pointless. I'd rather people see it for themselves! They often say at my school that we have to sell ourselves. No, I'll let them see my effort and they can tell me if they believe in it! Besides, to sell one's self, doesn't that just sound horrible lol Why would I do that?
If my personality is something they enjoy, and my work is something they can see that I took my time with, what do I have to sell? It's either they like me or not. I won't run the extra mile to impress them. Mainly because I could spend my whole life doing that and it won't be accomplished because everyone is looking for something different (in some way)....I think anyways lol
I steered off topic again lol Anyways, what I'm saying is that although what he said didn't surprise me, it's a little strange for people to point out those points. Such as this one time this classmate of mines told me I speak with confidence. I instantly said "oh, but so do you" lol I feel that compliments are great, but I don't think they're quite necessary for me. Because I don't think I need them lol I don't really need someone to tell me that I'm good at something if I've worked so hard to improve that aspect. I can tell when I've improved. Well, I guess it's rude to tell them not to say so. And I also guess that when someone acknowledges that I should just thank them, right? But I become very grateful! Hm.....it's a bit strange, but it seems like like it, but....hm...I don't want to admit what I might be as I feel it's ridiculous lol
Anyways, maybe I should just think of it as acknowledgement rather than a compliment. To acknowledge something, in my opinion, is to recognize something in something else and appreciate it. Hm...then I wonder what a compliment is!
Okay, well I appreciate it regardless. I'll just say that rather than thinking on it and trying to explain it.
Well, I have to get back to my homework. I just wasted time typing all of this.
I'm wondering if I should write about my day here next time. Maybe I'll do that!
Mon
In my previous post I talked about bringing about happiness. Maybe it's not so much that I'll find people and do this. It's more based on the things I know I can do, the things I normally do. Without anyone to bother me or try to bring my energy down, I'm usually quite happy (unless I get bored lol). I feel that since it's something that's normal for me, maybe people will feel it and become happy. I don't feel like I need to force anything when it comes to being happy because simple things make me happy. I mean, I just mentioned looking at sunlight pouring though a window! There's a sense of peace to something like that. I enjoy being in an empty room where the light pours through.
Oh! I just thought about it. It's possible that giddy feeling came about because I just had coffee about an hour ago lol Maybe I'm getting hyper. Usually when I get hyper I just feel a huge surge of energy. I find it difficult to sit down and need to exert this energy. Normally I'd just clean or organize some things. It's tough to sit still at times like that!
Well, I guess I'll type something more here. So I order a book by one of my favorite inspirations! Did I use that word correctly? Anyways, I can't quite call myself a fan. I seriously don't get the meaning of that word. However I do become inspired by people. Mainly I become inspired by people who seem to be very genuine (recently I've been interested in hearing Pink and her views on a lot of things).
Anyways, I order a book by this person. I'm sure I mentioned it before, but this person has bee very helpful to me especially during tough times! Sometimes I feel a bit embarrassed to say things like that to people because it's something very personal to me. Maybe expressing it would be best to not make a situation weird. I had this kind of situation with this guy who I felt was very helpful. That kind of person is one I'd like to sit down with and just talk. Nothing more than that! In the past I acted so strange and I seriously felt so shameful afterwards because he probably thought I was a bit strange. And honestly, I felt I needed to explain myself but I didn't.
Getting off topic! Back to the point. I purchased a book by this singer! I like to hear what he has to say about life and his thoughts on stuff. Mainly because it's quite deep. I like deep thinkers! Or rather, I like people who don't look at life at just the surface. I'm not saying I won't talk to people who do, it's just that after a while things such as materialism become very boring to talk about!
So the book is another biography and it's all in Japanese! When I found it on amazon I wondered if it was worth purchasing because I haven't been studying Japanese at all! But then I saw that there was only one left in stock and I instantly purchased it! I thought "Ha! Now it's mine!" lol even with knowing there might be more in stock in the future.Without even knowing how to read many characters I thought it would be nice to have the actual book to practice reading TRUE Japanese. Not just that but I can read his thoughts without someone translating.
This is why I'm interested in other languages and cultures! It's not just one person sometimes. It's a whole country or a culture that interest me. I guess when it comes to speaking to someone personally it would seem a bit weird that they take an interest to you and you're not interested. But I'm not interested in that kind of relationship! I'm interested in learning from people and places. I like to hear new things, so I'd probably just ask a lot of questions. Eventually I'll get to the end and I may even leave and say "thanks for all your help!" while adding a new teacher to my list! :)
Back to the point, I'm interested in learning languages so I can understand what the person is saying. I know I can learn a language, but sometimes I just don't feel like it. I definitely believe I should go forth with my will power! With such power I'm sure I could accomplish a lot. Hm...recently I sound very confident! lol I guess there's nothing wrong with that.
But I feel this way mainly because if I say I can't do it, then it'll seem that way. I don't think learning a language is impossible! It's all about wrapping your mind around it. It's something new, but not important. I once read that we, as humans, can be quite adaptable. But I believe it really depends on what the person believes.
Anyways, I purchased this book and it will be here sometimes later during this month! I only have one CD by this person lol As I said I'm more interested in what he has to say. That doesn't mean I hate his music, I actually like a few of his songs. But I'm more interested in what he has to say. Music does communicate this sometimes, there's an emotional aspect.
I'm sure there are people all over the world who has something to say. I'd like to hear it! I'd like to hear how they feel, and what they think about certain things. Because they have grown up in a different place, they may see things differently. But I believe there's a common ground somewhere. I'm wonder if it truly links to love. Somehow I feel like I'm not doing this to get a hardcore action, but I'm doing it just to learn new things from others!
Speaking of which, this man who works at my school (he works in this place they call the cage. It's not an actual cage, but a room, I don't know why they call it a cage though lol), he said I listen very well! I wasn't surprised, but sometimes I feel like I talk to much...sometimes though. Especially if something is interesting. But I think they only reason he said this was because I told him what my name meant. Knowing the meaning of my name, as common as it is, as actually made me appreciate it a bit more!
Well, seriously I don't want to be the kind of person who says "I can do this, and that really well" because I feel it's pointless. I'd rather people see it for themselves! They often say at my school that we have to sell ourselves. No, I'll let them see my effort and they can tell me if they believe in it! Besides, to sell one's self, doesn't that just sound horrible lol Why would I do that?
If my personality is something they enjoy, and my work is something they can see that I took my time with, what do I have to sell? It's either they like me or not. I won't run the extra mile to impress them. Mainly because I could spend my whole life doing that and it won't be accomplished because everyone is looking for something different (in some way)....I think anyways lol
I steered off topic again lol Anyways, what I'm saying is that although what he said didn't surprise me, it's a little strange for people to point out those points. Such as this one time this classmate of mines told me I speak with confidence. I instantly said "oh, but so do you" lol I feel that compliments are great, but I don't think they're quite necessary for me. Because I don't think I need them lol I don't really need someone to tell me that I'm good at something if I've worked so hard to improve that aspect. I can tell when I've improved. Well, I guess it's rude to tell them not to say so. And I also guess that when someone acknowledges that I should just thank them, right? But I become very grateful! Hm.....it's a bit strange, but it seems like like it, but....hm...I don't want to admit what I might be as I feel it's ridiculous lol
Anyways, maybe I should just think of it as acknowledgement rather than a compliment. To acknowledge something, in my opinion, is to recognize something in something else and appreciate it. Hm...then I wonder what a compliment is!
Okay, well I appreciate it regardless. I'll just say that rather than thinking on it and trying to explain it.
Well, I have to get back to my homework. I just wasted time typing all of this.
I'm wondering if I should write about my day here next time. Maybe I'll do that!
Mon
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Life purpose
So I wonder if this is what an epiphany is? Or perhaps it was just a feeling, a true feeling from within, or my life purpose!
Sounds like the beginning of some story right? lol Well, I believe every lifetime is a like a piece to a story. Anyways, last night I had this major moment when I thought that in some way, I would like to make people a bit more happy. Be it art, or conversation, some uplifting words.Through my stories, or something!
I think this came to me when I was reading this manga. It's kind of depressing! I thought "I want to be happy, not depressed" and I kept reading thinking that maybe something good would happen, only for it to not happen. I listened to a sad song the day before yesterday and I thought about how music can seriously impact the mood. And I thought that if anything, I could write a webcomic that people can read and feel happy afterwards! Lifting the mood is something I'd like to do in life. Maybe it's probably won't be my life LIFE purpose, but just a portion of it.
I'd just like people to feel happy :) Maybe it'll make someone's day or something.
This was my thought from last night.
Now I'm gonna have a snack and relax for the evening.
Mon
Sounds like the beginning of some story right? lol Well, I believe every lifetime is a like a piece to a story. Anyways, last night I had this major moment when I thought that in some way, I would like to make people a bit more happy. Be it art, or conversation, some uplifting words.Through my stories, or something!
I think this came to me when I was reading this manga. It's kind of depressing! I thought "I want to be happy, not depressed" and I kept reading thinking that maybe something good would happen, only for it to not happen. I listened to a sad song the day before yesterday and I thought about how music can seriously impact the mood. And I thought that if anything, I could write a webcomic that people can read and feel happy afterwards! Lifting the mood is something I'd like to do in life. Maybe it's probably won't be my life LIFE purpose, but just a portion of it.
I'd just like people to feel happy :) Maybe it'll make someone's day or something.
This was my thought from last night.
Now I'm gonna have a snack and relax for the evening.
Mon
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