My thoughts on being a women, men, being human

Hi!

So I've been going through videos on youtube since about 3 p.m. and I someone always get to the videos about people who have emotional scars or they have deep seated hurt and they (on the outside) try to cover that up with outer substances.

One lady is crying in this video. Mainly she's talking about how she feels ugly, and how hurt she is to have young ladies talk about how they feel ugly, etc.

I can't say this doesn't happen for men, I'm sure it does, but for the most part, it's usually women who have this issue.

Seriously, I have no problem being a women! Personally I find it has a gift. I mean, yes it takes two people to procreate, but women are the ones who have to carry that child for nine months, while living, working, taking care of home, dealing with emotions etc. And what's funny is, when I see comments where women complain about not being treated equally and a men lashes back saying that women do have the rights, I don't think that's the problem.

I think a lot of women feel ignored. I mean, the most common thing I hear from my male friends, or men in general is that they don't think the way women do. I'm not against men. I respect their views, but for those who have read blogs know that I question things. Which means I'll question them on those views. I'd like to understand, even if it's just from a few people

If I can give my two cents on this issue. As I said, I don't think this has anything to do with having "equal rights", I think it's about some women feeling like they aren't being listened to. There's seriously nothing wrong with that. Everyone likes to be heard.

Think of it this way. Men like to be respected right? They don't like to be told what to do and how to do it. They like to know that a women is supportive of him and not trying to change him. Now take out the concept of that just being a men quality, it's the same for any one who's learning to live.

Now, to me, it seems like a similar situation. A men is asking for "respect", he hopes that his spouse "listens" and "respects" that.

So men like to be listened to as well. So I'm guessing some women may feel that since they are being supportive and listening, why is it that they aren't getting the same treatment? This is where I believe the problem stems from.

Honestly, I've spoken to guys, they are not hard to speak to. They do listen, it's just I think they categorize certain things as "women traits" or that women are always using their "feelings" to make choices. Now I can understand how this can be an issue. Sometimes our personally feelings can get in the way of and a mistake which could've been prevented happens. But understand one thing, it's not a woman thing. It's a human thing.

Some humans are more sensitive than others. Some humans make ridiculous mistakes.

That aside, I can agree that some women should learn to incorporate logic into their way of living. But it's not just women who make choices based on feelings, some men do as well. They may think they don't, but they do. Let's take "anger", this seems like such a huge emotion which gets a lot of attention in the male department. I think I'd prefer a women to feel "sad" over a men who feels "angry" over something. Usually anger causes fight. Sadness....well, it doesn't cause much harm lol

I don't want to bash either gender, but the true problem stems from the fact that a lot of us have roots.We aren't living in the past, we're living in the today. So why does it seem like a lot of people are either living in yesterday, or last week? If we stop living and thinking that there's no hope, that we can't change our outlook of what we thought was true about something yesterday, and that today isn't yesterday and we can start over, then how are we planning to grow as humans?

The reason things seem so similar is because it seems there's a very small amount of people willing to walk outside as improved. It would seem weird to others to be trashy for most of one's life, but decide to change on night, and step outside dressing differently, speaking different etc. But who cares what others think?!

If you are dedicated to improving yourself because you know it's what's healthy for you, then do it!

I'll say it bluntly, if you're doing something destructive in your life, you're only really putting yourself in harm. The harm you think you do to someone else, is just a reflection of what you're creating for yourself.

If you feel empty. Then feel empty! There's no crime about it. Feel it. Then determine what you can do, what's a healthy way to deal with it? Find forums where others who shared the same problem, but got over it, dealt with it. It'll inspire you.

Seriously, I don't feel like I need to say this, but it's possible! I shouldn't have to tell you this. But I'm doing this on my ow freewill, and I really mean it.

Trust me when I say this, you won't believe how great you'll feel when you get over that hurdle!

Take the situation you're in and say "I'm glad I know what it's like to be sad. But now I want to be happy"

Man or Woman, it doesn't matter! We're all trying our hardest. So stop categorizing everything as a men or a women thing and just simply let it exist. Rather than categorizing it, listen to what the other person is saying and truly listen! They are speaking as the individual they are.

If they feel fat, listen! If they feel ugly, listen!

It's not a "fat" thing, it's how a person feels, and they're asking for your help. It's not an "ugly" thing, it's about something more, something that's effected this soul to the core, and they're asking for help.

Now it makes sense. When we simple categorize thing, we take meaning away from what it truly is. It's okay to turn our faces away because it's just a "guy" thing. It's okay to ignore it because it's normal for "women"

But we're missing the main point. Our bodies may have grown, but our inner needs have never dissipated. That need to be listened to. That need to want to know that you're being heard.

Remember when we were children, very young children, and we'd say something and our parents would chuckle and go along with it? What happened to that? Why did that start to disappear?

My thoughts are it disappeared the moment we reached the age where they thought "you're too old to be behaving like that. Stop that right now."

It was halted. And not it becomes an internal  issue. It's so deeply rooted and now we don't even know how to properly deal with it.

Now some people are lucky enough to have parents who teach them the healthy way of expressing themselves, but it's obvious by the majority, that some people didn't.

But now is the time! Now is the time to sit and go over these things. Since tomorrow is is now anyways. What I mean but that is this, whatever choice is it you make today, you create your future. You are living your future right now. And whoever you were a second ago is in the past.

Yes, appreciate who you are, and who you were, because it helps you to becoming something better. We can always improve. Not just ourselves, but our knowledge, our knowing of other things.

I can admit I'm quite sensitive to feelings. I've reverted so many of my blog post to drafts because I felt they were to harsh. But they're quite similar to this. It's what we all can see, we all see problems, but there's only a handful of people who push to help.

It's not just about the crime. It's about what creates the crime. It's those inner turmoil.

That men who's had it up to here with his boss treating him as if he's less than human. Or that boss who's angry with his wife because she's being distant. Or that wife who's cheating on her husband, but is keeping it a secret because she feels like her husband won't listen.

It's just a giant circle.

Now, place one's cultural difference in the mix, and it seems even harder to understand.  Well, it's not!!

If anything, I feel I have to be a lot more cautious when I'm speaking with someone from another country. Not because I feel they're different, but because I know the places were grew up have given us a different understanding of things. I don't continue to do this, but only during the first few moments of meeting. This is normal, it's for me to understand where this person's mind is coming from. It's the same thing that's done with meeting a stranger. You wouldn't just walk up to a stranger and start spitting out whatever....well, some would lol But that's not the point.

The point is, when I first started learning Japanese and reading about the country, I realized that even though some of them may think American customs are strange, or we're loud, they are just as similar to us. The difference is the way they are taught to deal with things. Just like how we are a certain way in America, the same holds true in other places. Some people are for it, and some people aren't.

I'll give an example, this Japanese lady wrote a blog about how her two children are going through the phase where they constantly run to her saying "so and so, did this. Mom, make him/her stop!"

It's something a lot of parents go through. So, why is it people always try to place themselves on a pedestal? Thinking they their way is better? Who said you were right?

The same concept for something that large, goes for the same issue here.

Who said that women are right about men, and men are right about women?

There's a lot of different women out there and a lot of different men out there. All so different in the means that, there will always be this piece of them that is unique to them. Regardless of how they try to paint their outer appearance, when you  reach down to the very bare bottom, you'll understand exactly what I'm talking about.

So that guy who's either a jock or a guy who shags his pants, has a deeper meaning to him then what you see on the outside. And that girl who wears clothes that are way too revealing, or that really quiet girl who gets bullied, they have a deeper meaning.

What I mean by this is this, when they all go to  bed at night, and they are laying alone (if they are with a spouse or whatever, and that spouse has gone to sleep), they may, at that very moment when they're starting up at the ceiling, for that split second, may be who they truly are. Wondering simple human things. Being who they are in their unique way, with their unique thoughts.

It's just when they get up and start rolling, they paint themselves again preparing for another long day.

So this is my thoughts!

Did they provoke anything in you? If so, good. Think on it.  Feel what you like.

Smile everyone~
Hugs
Mon