Hey!
Today is going to be a laid back down...kind of.
Today I have to do some modeling and texturing for my Material and Lighting class. Last week I was working on a Powerpoint and 3D animating a ball. I'm guilty of not using a lot of social networks while taking my classes. I don't often make phone calls either. I dunno what it is with me lol It's not like I don't have people to call. I'm just not a phone kind of person. I enjoy it better if I can sit and talk with the person. Well, I'm working things out. I definitely don't want people I know to feel like I don't care about them. I care about them all! I guess my way of showing it is a bit different.
For example, it's been a while since I've spoken with my friend from high school, her sister too, but I haven't forgotten about them. However, I know as people who are growing in life, we move on. I stress this a bit with my friend from China. Some people the idea of always hanging out together and talking and that this is what friendships are all about. I don't argue against this claim. Well, I'm guessing half of my attitude towards this is from me moving a lot. I've grown adapt to leaving friends behind. I don't remember if it was hard in the beginning but I'm use to it now.
Anyways, at the moment I'm in a nice well-lit living room on a comfy couch that's way to big for me lol with a cup of green tea with lemon watching videos about modeling in Maya. Maya is a 3D modeling/animation software that I'm using in class.
Seriously, while working, or while moving towards learning new things, I feel that because I don't call my friends or contact them, that I'm just being a neglectful friend. But I also look at it is, well, if they wanna talk to me, can't they call me? Then I start to think "do they have my number or do I only have theirs?" lol Well, they're on my facebook lol they can contact me there. Friendships aren't just one sided. I guess I should respect them if they wanna hang out sometime. It's okay to say "sure" sometimes even with school work. Taking some time out from this is okay.
When my class and I took a trip to a tiny animation studio in downtown Chicago, one guy was saying how it's either work or your social life, and that we can't have both. Honestly, I think that kind of thinking is ridiculous. That's like saying "work over family", it's very possible to have both.
Seriously, there were times when I've placed my own mental, emotional, and physical health above work or school. I mean, if something happens to me and I fall over and croak, then how the heck would I be able to work? So I feel that if I need to, I will stay home or not go to school or work. I've done it before. If it means being late to class, than so be it.
"You'll be out of job if you do that!" D:
Well, if that's the case, obviously that company is not considerate of it's employees and their well-being. We're humans above all else. We are humans who will have problems from time to time. It's a shame where taking a break from an all-year-round job will cost you that job.
It's not always about making money.
Well, I'm just going to continue browsing. I'll soon have more stuff to post on my youtube channel. This time it will be animation stuff. Also, all of the 2D animation stuff I had is on my external hard-drive. It will be taken in for possible repairs tomorrow.
My animation channel is: theanimationnewb
:3 Yep. Well, My updates will be quite slow. Because I have other things I like to study and try out, it's not always animating with me. But when I do animate, I take my time to deliver my best effort. This is what I've decided to strive for. In the past I delivered quick work. I actually miss those days lol I did very little thinking and let the ideas just write themselves. I'm sure that ability isn't lost. I do feel, however, that I've been taught a lot of this which seems to limit and restrict me from creating the way I use to.
Such as considering. Yeah...I wasn't a big consider-or lol In the past I would just write to write. I remember writing stories in middle school and my classmates loved it! I also wrote comics which had no solid plot, I had no idea where it was going, and I didn't care lol But now, I feel it's important. I love great stories. I don't read a lot of novels today, but as a kid I always loved reading. I remember always visiting the library in my elementary and I still remember what the library looks like. My reading came to halt in high school because it was more stressful and there was handsome guy involved lol But it was nothing major.
I feel that I should have my priorities straight. It's not because of my age, but it's because I feel that for the longest, I had no true direction. I often had dreams of tornadoes and I read that tornadoes often symbolize lack of direction. I've had dreams of wars, and I knew it was something inside of me saying "okay, let's do what we came here for" and well, I can't say clearly what it is, but I'll just stick with my hobbies for now.
Recently, putting names to things just isn't my thing. It becomes a category rather than just what it is. I'm well aware that somethings cannot be explained in plain English. I don't think it's just in English too. It's a human thing. A lot of people like to understand what's going on. And that people would be "out of their minds" if they did things that our society considered abnormal. But I've come to understand that that very thing kind of limits us. We try to explain who we are, rather than just being who we are.
Take for example, a person who always tries to explain who they are, but their actions are different from what they say. They limit themselves to being words, a category which has either a "good" or "bad" meaning.
We are body language readers. It's an innate ability. "Actions speak louder than words!" and yet, we strive to explain ourselves.
I rather be actions because it's based on who I am. I was a bit iffy about posting about feeling like I neglect my friends because of this very reason, that if they saw me, they'd understand. It's not something I should feel guilty about :3 So I actually really don't. I don't feel guilty, but I do feel like I neglect them. It's the only word I could think of at the moment.
Anyways, this is how I go about "judging" a person's "character"
I may use words like "well that's bad", but that's not what I mean. Urgh...explaining things is a huge waste of time. It's like useful, but a waste of time lol Well, I'll explain it for myself.
To me, all people are possible associates. I judge (and I use this word loosely) based on the factor of rather a person is actually trying to be themselves, are themselves, or pretending to be something they aren't. It's very easy for me to distinguish (maybe I should use this word instead) a pretender from someone is just is. Very very easy!
They are the one's using speech which sounds very forced, actions that seem very forced. Those kinds of people are the ones I don't feel like I could talk to lol Mainly because they aren't even being who they are. I don't mean this meanly. I tried talking to people like this, and although I know everyone is different, they seem similar. They are the ones who "follow" what society tells them to follow. It's like they're in a daze or brainwashed. These kinds of people don't interest me at all. These are the ones I don't feel I need to explain myself to haha So it's not like I WON'T explain myself, it's just that I choose not to. Isn't that the way it usually is?
Anyways, I spoke to one before, he started to figure me out lol He would always ask me "what's wrong with you? Something is different about you..." and we could call me "spirit girl" xD Of course I was a bit annoyed. It's like he would use me for his source of entertainment. Anyways, he was one of those people. When he was more serious, and talked like himself, he had depth.
I don't think he's any less of a being or person or whatever, I still think it's very much those things. It's just I find it difficult to communicate with them. When instead of speaking as who they are, they speak as how they think they should speak, it's like talking to replicas and it's pretty dull. What others say is stupid, they agree it's stupid. Rather than just telling me what they truly think, or why they think it, it's simple "stupid" or "bad" or "wrong"
Well, that's it. My sister is laughing way to loud at the t.v. lol
I'm going to get back to my videos. Sorry for the pointless rant. Hm....I don't often have a clear idea of what I'll write, so yeah.
Mon
No comments:
Post a Comment