................
My dog ate it......
Mon
Friday, October 25, 2013
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Night blog, creating from dreams
Before bed I decided to do a little brainstorming...or just typing in general.
This isn't the entry about herbs or teas. That'll be next time.
Anyways, as I'm writing I start to wonder why my writing can't be like my dreams. My dreams are rarely linear, and they make very little sense....well, to the human mind. Dreams are said to be mainly made up of symbols. Who came up with this? I have no idea.
I'll give a classic example, I found an old dream journal of mines, in one of my dreams I could not remember. It was a dream about jumping into pictures at a museum. The one I had last night was of the ceiling in my living room. It's kind of chipping due to my sister's air conditioner water leaking through. Anyways, I had a dream that was happening in my room (my room is on the top floor) and there's this hole in the middle. This squirrel crawls down and into my room and just starts walking about. For some reason I was a little freaked out, a bit nervous, but it was still a little weird to me lol
Mainly what I'm saying is that dreams are completely illogical, they often make very little sense and most of the time they aren't linear. Ever had a dream where you were one place and then somewhere else the next.
I believe the main problem lies in the fact that our brains try to make sense of things. If I could step on the line and more onto the side without limitations, I'd be happy. I'm sure it's possible.
This is usually the spot where creativity is at it's peak.
Anyways, I'm sleepy. This is so short! Yay~ My thinking isn't at it's best right now.
Night!
Mon
Junk food
Hi and good afternoon!
I woke up a while ago...I know it's late. I often wake up a few times during my sleep due to a noise or loud sound or something like that.
Anyways, I wanted to talk about junk food.
I'm not sure if it's just me, but junk food makes me feel heavy. In the past I use to eat junk food, but lately I make a conscious chose on what I'll eat, if it's good for me, and how it makes me feel. Of course I'm sure other people do this as well.
Well, I'll explain! It was when I was at the community college. I was there for about two or three years and they had a vending machine full of snacks. In the past I'm sure I would've just eaten what I could (junk wise), but I had decided to just not eat a lot of junk, or cut it out entirely.
So I soon realized that after cutting junk out of my diet (eating trial mix with nuts or a muffin) my body felt a lot lighter. I started to think about people who suffer from obesity and I wonder if they feel heavy, not because of the weight, but because of...hm....I'm not sure how to explain it. It's possibly the weigh I'm talking about, but it almost felt like floating. I enjoy this feeling! So I felt happier and I didn't feel the need to eat junk food after a while.
Now I'm not sure how conscious I am of my body, but I definitely knew I felt lighter.
I mentioned that I've been reading Conversation with God by Neale Donald Walsch. Well, I've gotten to a section where they speak about how the spirit actually encompasses the body. Well, I'm guessing this is the aura. That the spirit carries the body.
So it would only make sense that whatever food we eat effects our spirit's energy. Food, just like all other thing, have energy right? So I wonder what kind of energy junk food has. What kind of chemical is it in that causes people to eat it as if it's uncontrollable.
Well, I'll say this bluntly. It's very controllable! Simply put, I believe we often make excuses to stay where we are because we gain some kind f pleasure from the experience. Over eating, under eating and not admitting to it causes that thing to have power over you. The moment when you feel that there is nothing you to can do to stop from doing a certain thing, you're giving power over you. Okay fine, sulk. But when you're done realize that sooner or later you'll have to move.
Things are always changing, including yourself.
My older sister is determined to lose weight. Yet, I see that she consumes pizza often, eats chips often. I have no problem with once in a while, I actually have no problem at all. This is her choice. I think that if she were more determined she'd try to eat a healthier alternative. There are healthier chips out there. There are healthier snacks. Fruits are delicious! They're sweet and they don't hold very many calories.
I'm not saying cut out all junk food, but understand the body! When we over-consume, we are putting more calories in our body that aren't needed. Our boy doesn't know what to do with this so it stores it as fat.
I believe...no, I know for a fact, that we have a built in system that tells us when we've had enough food. This is what I call "the half way point", it's the point where some people would think "I'm getting full"....okay, then stop eating lol the the easiest way I can put it.
I'm sure there are others like this, but my mom, older sister and younger sister ignore this and continue to eat until they feel so full they can't move. Why would you do this to yourself? lol xD I mean seriously.
I've done this maybe a few times in life, and it's painful for me. It doesn't make me want to take a nap. Actually, my body starts to hurt when I do this. Sometimes when we would go out to eat I won't want to toss the food out. So I'd tried to eat the last bit I have on my plate, knowing full and well that I'm full. So my body works like this, it'll make my shoulders hurt and my neck hurt when I'm too full lol Then I'd sit in anguish just wishing my food would quickly digest.
Back to the point. Mainly when you continue to do this (ignore this sign) it begins to become silent, your stomach begins to expand as it prepares to carry more food. That's why they have that surgery to make the stomach smaller. This wouldn't need to be, if we would just listen to our bodies. They signal us for a reason lol
So, this brings to mind the spirit. It sends us signs too. I'm thinking that our spirits our very much all those signs I mentioned above. And yet, not listening to our higher knowledge (I'll call it this), we over indulge and then point fingers at the people who produce it.
Seriously, this can be stopped. If you really wanna make 'em angry, stop purchasing their products lol It's that simple. Read about supply and demand.
Oh! So back to my older sister. I've gotten her interested in teas. We'd often drink tea together. She doesn't drink as much soda and juice, so not every effort is pointless. I see her making changes. I won't rush her either. Even a tiny change is good.
Anyways, green tea is very good. It helps promote weight loss and it has other health benefits. They're pack with antioxidants which are good for the body as well. Well, blueberries are too.
Maybe next time I'll talk about herbs and teas. Since I"m always talking about healthier alternatives, maybe I should write about a few.
I'm not saying I'm the healthiest person in the world, but I do believe that if we treat our bodies properly, they'll reward us in the long run. It helps our minds, and our spirit too! These all work in unison, or they should, but we have to learn to kick the habits limiting us.
I see a bright future ahead of us,but we have to be willing to go towards it. The future is now, it's what we choose to do now that determines who we'll be in the next second, it determines who will be in the next minute. It chooses who we are NOW. Each second before the last second, is the future.
But remember, things manifest here a bit slower. It's due to the density and sometimes, even our willingness to pay attention to it.
So next time I'll crack open my herb book. I haven't opened that thing in a while. I'll go over some herbs, and teas and their benefits :3
Until than, bye~
Mon
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Green Tea w/ Lemon and learning about Maya day! Life life life!
Hey!
Today is going to be a laid back down...kind of.
Today I have to do some modeling and texturing for my Material and Lighting class. Last week I was working on a Powerpoint and 3D animating a ball. I'm guilty of not using a lot of social networks while taking my classes. I don't often make phone calls either. I dunno what it is with me lol It's not like I don't have people to call. I'm just not a phone kind of person. I enjoy it better if I can sit and talk with the person. Well, I'm working things out. I definitely don't want people I know to feel like I don't care about them. I care about them all! I guess my way of showing it is a bit different.
For example, it's been a while since I've spoken with my friend from high school, her sister too, but I haven't forgotten about them. However, I know as people who are growing in life, we move on. I stress this a bit with my friend from China. Some people the idea of always hanging out together and talking and that this is what friendships are all about. I don't argue against this claim. Well, I'm guessing half of my attitude towards this is from me moving a lot. I've grown adapt to leaving friends behind. I don't remember if it was hard in the beginning but I'm use to it now.
Anyways, at the moment I'm in a nice well-lit living room on a comfy couch that's way to big for me lol with a cup of green tea with lemon watching videos about modeling in Maya. Maya is a 3D modeling/animation software that I'm using in class.
Seriously, while working, or while moving towards learning new things, I feel that because I don't call my friends or contact them, that I'm just being a neglectful friend. But I also look at it is, well, if they wanna talk to me, can't they call me? Then I start to think "do they have my number or do I only have theirs?" lol Well, they're on my facebook lol they can contact me there. Friendships aren't just one sided. I guess I should respect them if they wanna hang out sometime. It's okay to say "sure" sometimes even with school work. Taking some time out from this is okay.
When my class and I took a trip to a tiny animation studio in downtown Chicago, one guy was saying how it's either work or your social life, and that we can't have both. Honestly, I think that kind of thinking is ridiculous. That's like saying "work over family", it's very possible to have both.
Seriously, there were times when I've placed my own mental, emotional, and physical health above work or school. I mean, if something happens to me and I fall over and croak, then how the heck would I be able to work? So I feel that if I need to, I will stay home or not go to school or work. I've done it before. If it means being late to class, than so be it.
"You'll be out of job if you do that!" D:
Well, if that's the case, obviously that company is not considerate of it's employees and their well-being. We're humans above all else. We are humans who will have problems from time to time. It's a shame where taking a break from an all-year-round job will cost you that job.
It's not always about making money.
Well, I'm just going to continue browsing. I'll soon have more stuff to post on my youtube channel. This time it will be animation stuff. Also, all of the 2D animation stuff I had is on my external hard-drive. It will be taken in for possible repairs tomorrow.
My animation channel is: theanimationnewb
:3 Yep. Well, My updates will be quite slow. Because I have other things I like to study and try out, it's not always animating with me. But when I do animate, I take my time to deliver my best effort. This is what I've decided to strive for. In the past I delivered quick work. I actually miss those days lol I did very little thinking and let the ideas just write themselves. I'm sure that ability isn't lost. I do feel, however, that I've been taught a lot of this which seems to limit and restrict me from creating the way I use to.
Such as considering. Yeah...I wasn't a big consider-or lol In the past I would just write to write. I remember writing stories in middle school and my classmates loved it! I also wrote comics which had no solid plot, I had no idea where it was going, and I didn't care lol But now, I feel it's important. I love great stories. I don't read a lot of novels today, but as a kid I always loved reading. I remember always visiting the library in my elementary and I still remember what the library looks like. My reading came to halt in high school because it was more stressful and there was handsome guy involved lol But it was nothing major.
I feel that I should have my priorities straight. It's not because of my age, but it's because I feel that for the longest, I had no true direction. I often had dreams of tornadoes and I read that tornadoes often symbolize lack of direction. I've had dreams of wars, and I knew it was something inside of me saying "okay, let's do what we came here for" and well, I can't say clearly what it is, but I'll just stick with my hobbies for now.
Recently, putting names to things just isn't my thing. It becomes a category rather than just what it is. I'm well aware that somethings cannot be explained in plain English. I don't think it's just in English too. It's a human thing. A lot of people like to understand what's going on. And that people would be "out of their minds" if they did things that our society considered abnormal. But I've come to understand that that very thing kind of limits us. We try to explain who we are, rather than just being who we are.
Take for example, a person who always tries to explain who they are, but their actions are different from what they say. They limit themselves to being words, a category which has either a "good" or "bad" meaning.
We are body language readers. It's an innate ability. "Actions speak louder than words!" and yet, we strive to explain ourselves.
I rather be actions because it's based on who I am. I was a bit iffy about posting about feeling like I neglect my friends because of this very reason, that if they saw me, they'd understand. It's not something I should feel guilty about :3 So I actually really don't. I don't feel guilty, but I do feel like I neglect them. It's the only word I could think of at the moment.
Anyways, this is how I go about "judging" a person's "character"
I may use words like "well that's bad", but that's not what I mean. Urgh...explaining things is a huge waste of time. It's like useful, but a waste of time lol Well, I'll explain it for myself.
To me, all people are possible associates. I judge (and I use this word loosely) based on the factor of rather a person is actually trying to be themselves, are themselves, or pretending to be something they aren't. It's very easy for me to distinguish (maybe I should use this word instead) a pretender from someone is just is. Very very easy!
They are the one's using speech which sounds very forced, actions that seem very forced. Those kinds of people are the ones I don't feel like I could talk to lol Mainly because they aren't even being who they are. I don't mean this meanly. I tried talking to people like this, and although I know everyone is different, they seem similar. They are the ones who "follow" what society tells them to follow. It's like they're in a daze or brainwashed. These kinds of people don't interest me at all. These are the ones I don't feel I need to explain myself to haha So it's not like I WON'T explain myself, it's just that I choose not to. Isn't that the way it usually is?
Anyways, I spoke to one before, he started to figure me out lol He would always ask me "what's wrong with you? Something is different about you..." and we could call me "spirit girl" xD Of course I was a bit annoyed. It's like he would use me for his source of entertainment. Anyways, he was one of those people. When he was more serious, and talked like himself, he had depth.
I don't think he's any less of a being or person or whatever, I still think it's very much those things. It's just I find it difficult to communicate with them. When instead of speaking as who they are, they speak as how they think they should speak, it's like talking to replicas and it's pretty dull. What others say is stupid, they agree it's stupid. Rather than just telling me what they truly think, or why they think it, it's simple "stupid" or "bad" or "wrong"
Well, that's it. My sister is laughing way to loud at the t.v. lol
I'm going to get back to my videos. Sorry for the pointless rant. Hm....I don't often have a clear idea of what I'll write, so yeah.
Mon
Today is going to be a laid back down...kind of.
Today I have to do some modeling and texturing for my Material and Lighting class. Last week I was working on a Powerpoint and 3D animating a ball. I'm guilty of not using a lot of social networks while taking my classes. I don't often make phone calls either. I dunno what it is with me lol It's not like I don't have people to call. I'm just not a phone kind of person. I enjoy it better if I can sit and talk with the person. Well, I'm working things out. I definitely don't want people I know to feel like I don't care about them. I care about them all! I guess my way of showing it is a bit different.
For example, it's been a while since I've spoken with my friend from high school, her sister too, but I haven't forgotten about them. However, I know as people who are growing in life, we move on. I stress this a bit with my friend from China. Some people the idea of always hanging out together and talking and that this is what friendships are all about. I don't argue against this claim. Well, I'm guessing half of my attitude towards this is from me moving a lot. I've grown adapt to leaving friends behind. I don't remember if it was hard in the beginning but I'm use to it now.
Anyways, at the moment I'm in a nice well-lit living room on a comfy couch that's way to big for me lol with a cup of green tea with lemon watching videos about modeling in Maya. Maya is a 3D modeling/animation software that I'm using in class.
Seriously, while working, or while moving towards learning new things, I feel that because I don't call my friends or contact them, that I'm just being a neglectful friend. But I also look at it is, well, if they wanna talk to me, can't they call me? Then I start to think "do they have my number or do I only have theirs?" lol Well, they're on my facebook lol they can contact me there. Friendships aren't just one sided. I guess I should respect them if they wanna hang out sometime. It's okay to say "sure" sometimes even with school work. Taking some time out from this is okay.
When my class and I took a trip to a tiny animation studio in downtown Chicago, one guy was saying how it's either work or your social life, and that we can't have both. Honestly, I think that kind of thinking is ridiculous. That's like saying "work over family", it's very possible to have both.
Seriously, there were times when I've placed my own mental, emotional, and physical health above work or school. I mean, if something happens to me and I fall over and croak, then how the heck would I be able to work? So I feel that if I need to, I will stay home or not go to school or work. I've done it before. If it means being late to class, than so be it.
"You'll be out of job if you do that!" D:
Well, if that's the case, obviously that company is not considerate of it's employees and their well-being. We're humans above all else. We are humans who will have problems from time to time. It's a shame where taking a break from an all-year-round job will cost you that job.
It's not always about making money.
Well, I'm just going to continue browsing. I'll soon have more stuff to post on my youtube channel. This time it will be animation stuff. Also, all of the 2D animation stuff I had is on my external hard-drive. It will be taken in for possible repairs tomorrow.
My animation channel is: theanimationnewb
:3 Yep. Well, My updates will be quite slow. Because I have other things I like to study and try out, it's not always animating with me. But when I do animate, I take my time to deliver my best effort. This is what I've decided to strive for. In the past I delivered quick work. I actually miss those days lol I did very little thinking and let the ideas just write themselves. I'm sure that ability isn't lost. I do feel, however, that I've been taught a lot of this which seems to limit and restrict me from creating the way I use to.
Such as considering. Yeah...I wasn't a big consider-or lol In the past I would just write to write. I remember writing stories in middle school and my classmates loved it! I also wrote comics which had no solid plot, I had no idea where it was going, and I didn't care lol But now, I feel it's important. I love great stories. I don't read a lot of novels today, but as a kid I always loved reading. I remember always visiting the library in my elementary and I still remember what the library looks like. My reading came to halt in high school because it was more stressful and there was handsome guy involved lol But it was nothing major.
I feel that I should have my priorities straight. It's not because of my age, but it's because I feel that for the longest, I had no true direction. I often had dreams of tornadoes and I read that tornadoes often symbolize lack of direction. I've had dreams of wars, and I knew it was something inside of me saying "okay, let's do what we came here for" and well, I can't say clearly what it is, but I'll just stick with my hobbies for now.
Recently, putting names to things just isn't my thing. It becomes a category rather than just what it is. I'm well aware that somethings cannot be explained in plain English. I don't think it's just in English too. It's a human thing. A lot of people like to understand what's going on. And that people would be "out of their minds" if they did things that our society considered abnormal. But I've come to understand that that very thing kind of limits us. We try to explain who we are, rather than just being who we are.
Take for example, a person who always tries to explain who they are, but their actions are different from what they say. They limit themselves to being words, a category which has either a "good" or "bad" meaning.
We are body language readers. It's an innate ability. "Actions speak louder than words!" and yet, we strive to explain ourselves.
I rather be actions because it's based on who I am. I was a bit iffy about posting about feeling like I neglect my friends because of this very reason, that if they saw me, they'd understand. It's not something I should feel guilty about :3 So I actually really don't. I don't feel guilty, but I do feel like I neglect them. It's the only word I could think of at the moment.
Anyways, this is how I go about "judging" a person's "character"
I may use words like "well that's bad", but that's not what I mean. Urgh...explaining things is a huge waste of time. It's like useful, but a waste of time lol Well, I'll explain it for myself.
To me, all people are possible associates. I judge (and I use this word loosely) based on the factor of rather a person is actually trying to be themselves, are themselves, or pretending to be something they aren't. It's very easy for me to distinguish (maybe I should use this word instead) a pretender from someone is just is. Very very easy!
They are the one's using speech which sounds very forced, actions that seem very forced. Those kinds of people are the ones I don't feel like I could talk to lol Mainly because they aren't even being who they are. I don't mean this meanly. I tried talking to people like this, and although I know everyone is different, they seem similar. They are the ones who "follow" what society tells them to follow. It's like they're in a daze or brainwashed. These kinds of people don't interest me at all. These are the ones I don't feel I need to explain myself to haha So it's not like I WON'T explain myself, it's just that I choose not to. Isn't that the way it usually is?
Anyways, I spoke to one before, he started to figure me out lol He would always ask me "what's wrong with you? Something is different about you..." and we could call me "spirit girl" xD Of course I was a bit annoyed. It's like he would use me for his source of entertainment. Anyways, he was one of those people. When he was more serious, and talked like himself, he had depth.
I don't think he's any less of a being or person or whatever, I still think it's very much those things. It's just I find it difficult to communicate with them. When instead of speaking as who they are, they speak as how they think they should speak, it's like talking to replicas and it's pretty dull. What others say is stupid, they agree it's stupid. Rather than just telling me what they truly think, or why they think it, it's simple "stupid" or "bad" or "wrong"
Well, that's it. My sister is laughing way to loud at the t.v. lol
I'm going to get back to my videos. Sorry for the pointless rant. Hm....I don't often have a clear idea of what I'll write, so yeah.
Mon
Saturday, October 19, 2013
10.20.13
I don't have a title for today's journal. It'll likely be randomness.
So recently things are going great! Well, besides the usual family issues, but it's cool. I'm making it and also it's easier to deal with. It's become a bit better when I'm able to say "okay that happened than, and now is now" and just let it slip away. In a way dealing with things in this manners makes me feel like I don't care for happened the day before. I guess in reality what happened 5 minutes ago doesn't matter as much as to what can happen at this very moment. It's not that I forget, it's just that I don't allow it to pull me down.
However, I still think "well, even if I can do this, why do I still feel guilty/annoyed etc.?" and it's such a silly question because feelings are a part of being. O__o Do I seriously think feelings are a curse?
Hm...honestly, I won't lie, I feel that I'm quite sensitive. It's kind of a pain to feel sad or want to cry when I'm hurt or hold back tears when I'm really bothered by something. But I know it's a part of me, and it makes me who I am. I know that I can work to better improve the way I deal with things. I've come to understand that I may allow myself to easily be influenced by outer forces. But it's only if I allow it. So I'm happy that I'm dealing with things pretty well.
I've been told by a friend that it's best to let these things filter or flow right past me. I guess it's kind of like with being aware of one's thoughts, but not allowing yourself to become attached to them. I look at it like this, a thought is a thought and nothing else. It can't hurt you, only if you allow it. Fear is only fear and nothing else. It can't hurt you unless you allow it.
The thought "fear nothing" comes to mind. And I imagine that a some people may think it means just jumping head first into a situation without thinking. Being cautious is not fearing. It's considering the possibilities.
Hm....Dwelling in one spot on one thing can't guarantee progress, but it helps. But it seems that some people take the head first approach. Well, I see nothing wrong with this besides the fact that they could harm another with disregards to the consequences. But I still see nothing wrong with this. Those kinds of people will learn...maybe not the way that could cause the less amount of pain or give them an experience they may feel is pleasing, but they learn.
With situations like being in a bad situation due to one's choices, I feel that it's the quickest way to learn a lesson. It's like the information "clicks" and makes more sense because it's from personal experience.
Yet, however, some people continue to make the same choices, regardless.
Well, I just wish them the best. I'm sure they'll get beyond that point eventually.
Which leaves me at this very point of all of this.
Although I've come to think of these things, it doesn't change anything for me. O__o I still feel like me, I just feel like...it's okay. Like there's nothing to...well, not work towards, but to worry about.
I've had it in my mind "I want to help the world!" and it's come down to me thinking that in some way I am. In a way that may not be what I've expected, but in someway I am. Because who I am may help someone else understand who they are. That it's okay to be who you are.
In the meantime I'm working on being honest with myself. It seems harsh at times, but whatever. If I can't accept aspects of myself, than how can I ever be who I really am. It would be like saying I only like my good qualities and dismiss the one's that were obstacles for me to get where I am now. They were the stepping stones which I took to get to the height I am at now. I'm not above anyone, I just am. I'm learning too.
Yes, I become a bit uneasy at time when I imagine what my next obstacle will be. I won't say I won't. I do worry a bit. But I know that, just like in the past, I can get over it. The difference between than and now is that I have a bit more understanding at my disposal. I think I'm a bit more cautious to observe things now.
Hm...also I'm a bit silly and says things. So sometimes I don't pay much attention. I feel that when I'm paying attention I seem way too serious. But I'm a lover of happy moments and I like being happy! I like being excited about the future! That doesn't mean I don't feel nervous because I do. But at the end of the day when I lie my head down I can honestly say that I'm perfectly safe. I feel it.
Well, I'll write more about what I'm feeling in my next journal.
Oh! And also before I forget, I wanted to share a bit of insight on my sleeping nights. Sometimes I would have a sense that I've been somewhere while I was asleep at night. I've mentioned this to a friend of mines before, but I would feel like I did something while sleeping but not having much recollection of what it was.
Do I think that I don't know? No. I do believe I do know. But I don't feel the need to look into it. I feel that if I wanted to know I could find out. O__o I guess I don't really care. Hm...that seems to be a pattern with me. It's not that I don't care, it's just that it's nothing much.
So yeah. That feeling hasn't faded. And I'm sure I wasn't just feeling that way for no reason. I've been reading that we travel a lot while we're dreaming in order to fee out Oneness again, or something like that. I feel that I do what I want to do here (wanting to help), there, in my dream.
I would like to teach, but the conscious me isn't sure what to teach, but I'm sure I do know. I'm just not allowing myself to know.
I guess I kind of don't want to right now, so I'm making excuses as to why I can't :P I'll be honest, I'm dealing with how to deal with emotional things and being more tolerable. Also I'm relaxing and dealing with focusing on school work. Learning to feel and be honest and connecting with my pets and my plants.
I'd like to see auras someday. I've been thinking about lending a hand in the medical field. However I'd like to take into account the whole body. Mind, body, spirit and the 7 chakras. Paying mind to those things, I feel, could help a lot.
People who actually see auras have said they can tell when someone isn't feeling well. I'm definitely sure it's possible. Of course I have a few worries, so I'm learning to get over those too (they're very minor, but I still need to look into them).
The reason I'm interested in these things are that I find the body to be very interesting! I'd like to understand how we can better care for not just our physical body, but how to treat the 7 chakras with care.
I'd like to understand how to deliver messages with clarity and without allowing my mind to try to decipher and change the information.
To me, these things aren't like trying to heal the world, it's something I'm interested in. And I'd like to give this to others. Give them an understanding of something they believe is new in order to...like um...not understand, but to know that there is a way. I guess to show that things that seem impossible are very possible.
I guess this is why I'm still in the working phase at the moment. I'm still fitting in what my true purpose is beyond my many interest! Nothing wrong with it.
Well, I'm heading to bed now. I've been awake since 7 this morning.
Night
Mon
So recently things are going great! Well, besides the usual family issues, but it's cool. I'm making it and also it's easier to deal with. It's become a bit better when I'm able to say "okay that happened than, and now is now" and just let it slip away. In a way dealing with things in this manners makes me feel like I don't care for happened the day before. I guess in reality what happened 5 minutes ago doesn't matter as much as to what can happen at this very moment. It's not that I forget, it's just that I don't allow it to pull me down.
However, I still think "well, even if I can do this, why do I still feel guilty/annoyed etc.?" and it's such a silly question because feelings are a part of being. O__o Do I seriously think feelings are a curse?
Hm...honestly, I won't lie, I feel that I'm quite sensitive. It's kind of a pain to feel sad or want to cry when I'm hurt or hold back tears when I'm really bothered by something. But I know it's a part of me, and it makes me who I am. I know that I can work to better improve the way I deal with things. I've come to understand that I may allow myself to easily be influenced by outer forces. But it's only if I allow it. So I'm happy that I'm dealing with things pretty well.
I've been told by a friend that it's best to let these things filter or flow right past me. I guess it's kind of like with being aware of one's thoughts, but not allowing yourself to become attached to them. I look at it like this, a thought is a thought and nothing else. It can't hurt you, only if you allow it. Fear is only fear and nothing else. It can't hurt you unless you allow it.
The thought "fear nothing" comes to mind. And I imagine that a some people may think it means just jumping head first into a situation without thinking. Being cautious is not fearing. It's considering the possibilities.
Hm....Dwelling in one spot on one thing can't guarantee progress, but it helps. But it seems that some people take the head first approach. Well, I see nothing wrong with this besides the fact that they could harm another with disregards to the consequences. But I still see nothing wrong with this. Those kinds of people will learn...maybe not the way that could cause the less amount of pain or give them an experience they may feel is pleasing, but they learn.
With situations like being in a bad situation due to one's choices, I feel that it's the quickest way to learn a lesson. It's like the information "clicks" and makes more sense because it's from personal experience.
Yet, however, some people continue to make the same choices, regardless.
Well, I just wish them the best. I'm sure they'll get beyond that point eventually.
Which leaves me at this very point of all of this.
Although I've come to think of these things, it doesn't change anything for me. O__o I still feel like me, I just feel like...it's okay. Like there's nothing to...well, not work towards, but to worry about.
I've had it in my mind "I want to help the world!" and it's come down to me thinking that in some way I am. In a way that may not be what I've expected, but in someway I am. Because who I am may help someone else understand who they are. That it's okay to be who you are.
In the meantime I'm working on being honest with myself. It seems harsh at times, but whatever. If I can't accept aspects of myself, than how can I ever be who I really am. It would be like saying I only like my good qualities and dismiss the one's that were obstacles for me to get where I am now. They were the stepping stones which I took to get to the height I am at now. I'm not above anyone, I just am. I'm learning too.
Yes, I become a bit uneasy at time when I imagine what my next obstacle will be. I won't say I won't. I do worry a bit. But I know that, just like in the past, I can get over it. The difference between than and now is that I have a bit more understanding at my disposal. I think I'm a bit more cautious to observe things now.
Hm...also I'm a bit silly and says things. So sometimes I don't pay much attention. I feel that when I'm paying attention I seem way too serious. But I'm a lover of happy moments and I like being happy! I like being excited about the future! That doesn't mean I don't feel nervous because I do. But at the end of the day when I lie my head down I can honestly say that I'm perfectly safe. I feel it.
Well, I'll write more about what I'm feeling in my next journal.
Oh! And also before I forget, I wanted to share a bit of insight on my sleeping nights. Sometimes I would have a sense that I've been somewhere while I was asleep at night. I've mentioned this to a friend of mines before, but I would feel like I did something while sleeping but not having much recollection of what it was.
Do I think that I don't know? No. I do believe I do know. But I don't feel the need to look into it. I feel that if I wanted to know I could find out. O__o I guess I don't really care. Hm...that seems to be a pattern with me. It's not that I don't care, it's just that it's nothing much.
So yeah. That feeling hasn't faded. And I'm sure I wasn't just feeling that way for no reason. I've been reading that we travel a lot while we're dreaming in order to fee out Oneness again, or something like that. I feel that I do what I want to do here (wanting to help), there, in my dream.
I would like to teach, but the conscious me isn't sure what to teach, but I'm sure I do know. I'm just not allowing myself to know.
I guess I kind of don't want to right now, so I'm making excuses as to why I can't :P I'll be honest, I'm dealing with how to deal with emotional things and being more tolerable. Also I'm relaxing and dealing with focusing on school work. Learning to feel and be honest and connecting with my pets and my plants.
I'd like to see auras someday. I've been thinking about lending a hand in the medical field. However I'd like to take into account the whole body. Mind, body, spirit and the 7 chakras. Paying mind to those things, I feel, could help a lot.
People who actually see auras have said they can tell when someone isn't feeling well. I'm definitely sure it's possible. Of course I have a few worries, so I'm learning to get over those too (they're very minor, but I still need to look into them).
The reason I'm interested in these things are that I find the body to be very interesting! I'd like to understand how we can better care for not just our physical body, but how to treat the 7 chakras with care.
I'd like to understand how to deliver messages with clarity and without allowing my mind to try to decipher and change the information.
To me, these things aren't like trying to heal the world, it's something I'm interested in. And I'd like to give this to others. Give them an understanding of something they believe is new in order to...like um...not understand, but to know that there is a way. I guess to show that things that seem impossible are very possible.
I guess this is why I'm still in the working phase at the moment. I'm still fitting in what my true purpose is beyond my many interest! Nothing wrong with it.
Well, I'm heading to bed now. I've been awake since 7 this morning.
Night
Mon
Dream 10/19/13
Earlier I had a dream before waking up.
I was a man in this prison like place. I was committed for a crime I didn't commit and I believe I was placed in there for death.
There was this one part I remember well. It was fighting against one of these guy (there were multiple ones who wanted to pick a fight). I beat the guy pretty bad, but it wasn't out of anger it was to prove a point. If I'm not mistaken, I started telling them something like, the body is a greater tool than the mind because. Or something like that. I forgot why I ended up saying that. But upon waking up I thought to myself "well, that sounds a bit backwards"
I started teaching the men in this prison stuff. I guess I figured that if I was gonna die in prison, minus well not waste time.
Monday, October 14, 2013
Hobbies~
So I've been wanting to make youtube videos showcasing some things I'm interested in.
I have a few hobbies, but one thing I'd really like to do is jewelry making! There's something about creating things that make me happy. :3
I often walk past the crafting aisle at Walmart just to stroll and gawk at a few of the beautiful (possibly not real) accessories! Oh...and to get yarn for knitting lol
A few months ago I tried weaving. It's a bit tedious, but I only got one piece done. The tiresome thing to do is to constantly go to the store to buy yarn. If I lived near a Walmart, it would be convenient.
I'd also like to try my hand at some Chinese calligraphy.
You know, I don't even know if these will be lifelong hobbies. But it would be fun to do. I've always also wanted to take a pottery class.
Overall, I would like to show people to create things. I'll give it a shot!
I have a few hobbies, but one thing I'd really like to do is jewelry making! There's something about creating things that make me happy. :3
I often walk past the crafting aisle at Walmart just to stroll and gawk at a few of the beautiful (possibly not real) accessories! Oh...and to get yarn for knitting lol
A few months ago I tried weaving. It's a bit tedious, but I only got one piece done. The tiresome thing to do is to constantly go to the store to buy yarn. If I lived near a Walmart, it would be convenient.
I'd also like to try my hand at some Chinese calligraphy.
You know, I don't even know if these will be lifelong hobbies. But it would be fun to do. I've always also wanted to take a pottery class.
Overall, I would like to show people to create things. I'll give it a shot!
Monday, October 7, 2013
My thoughts on being a women, men, being human
Hi!
So I've been going through videos on youtube since about 3 p.m. and I someone always get to the videos about people who have emotional scars or they have deep seated hurt and they (on the outside) try to cover that up with outer substances.
One lady is crying in this video. Mainly she's talking about how she feels ugly, and how hurt she is to have young ladies talk about how they feel ugly, etc.
I can't say this doesn't happen for men, I'm sure it does, but for the most part, it's usually women who have this issue.
Seriously, I have no problem being a women! Personally I find it has a gift. I mean, yes it takes two people to procreate, but women are the ones who have to carry that child for nine months, while living, working, taking care of home, dealing with emotions etc. And what's funny is, when I see comments where women complain about not being treated equally and a men lashes back saying that women do have the rights, I don't think that's the problem.
I think a lot of women feel ignored. I mean, the most common thing I hear from my male friends, or men in general is that they don't think the way women do. I'm not against men. I respect their views, but for those who have read blogs know that I question things. Which means I'll question them on those views. I'd like to understand, even if it's just from a few people
If I can give my two cents on this issue. As I said, I don't think this has anything to do with having "equal rights", I think it's about some women feeling like they aren't being listened to. There's seriously nothing wrong with that. Everyone likes to be heard.
Think of it this way. Men like to be respected right? They don't like to be told what to do and how to do it. They like to know that a women is supportive of him and not trying to change him. Now take out the concept of that just being a men quality, it's the same for any one who's learning to live.
Now, to me, it seems like a similar situation. A men is asking for "respect", he hopes that his spouse "listens" and "respects" that.
So men like to be listened to as well. So I'm guessing some women may feel that since they are being supportive and listening, why is it that they aren't getting the same treatment? This is where I believe the problem stems from.
Honestly, I've spoken to guys, they are not hard to speak to. They do listen, it's just I think they categorize certain things as "women traits" or that women are always using their "feelings" to make choices. Now I can understand how this can be an issue. Sometimes our personally feelings can get in the way of and a mistake which could've been prevented happens. But understand one thing, it's not a woman thing. It's a human thing.
Some humans are more sensitive than others. Some humans make ridiculous mistakes.
That aside, I can agree that some women should learn to incorporate logic into their way of living. But it's not just women who make choices based on feelings, some men do as well. They may think they don't, but they do. Let's take "anger", this seems like such a huge emotion which gets a lot of attention in the male department. I think I'd prefer a women to feel "sad" over a men who feels "angry" over something. Usually anger causes fight. Sadness....well, it doesn't cause much harm lol
I don't want to bash either gender, but the true problem stems from the fact that a lot of us have roots.We aren't living in the past, we're living in the today. So why does it seem like a lot of people are either living in yesterday, or last week? If we stop living and thinking that there's no hope, that we can't change our outlook of what we thought was true about something yesterday, and that today isn't yesterday and we can start over, then how are we planning to grow as humans?
The reason things seem so similar is because it seems there's a very small amount of people willing to walk outside as improved. It would seem weird to others to be trashy for most of one's life, but decide to change on night, and step outside dressing differently, speaking different etc. But who cares what others think?!
If you are dedicated to improving yourself because you know it's what's healthy for you, then do it!
I'll say it bluntly, if you're doing something destructive in your life, you're only really putting yourself in harm. The harm you think you do to someone else, is just a reflection of what you're creating for yourself.
If you feel empty. Then feel empty! There's no crime about it. Feel it. Then determine what you can do, what's a healthy way to deal with it? Find forums where others who shared the same problem, but got over it, dealt with it. It'll inspire you.
Seriously, I don't feel like I need to say this, but it's possible! I shouldn't have to tell you this. But I'm doing this on my ow freewill, and I really mean it.
Trust me when I say this, you won't believe how great you'll feel when you get over that hurdle!
Take the situation you're in and say "I'm glad I know what it's like to be sad. But now I want to be happy"
Man or Woman, it doesn't matter! We're all trying our hardest. So stop categorizing everything as a men or a women thing and just simply let it exist. Rather than categorizing it, listen to what the other person is saying and truly listen! They are speaking as the individual they are.
If they feel fat, listen! If they feel ugly, listen!
It's not a "fat" thing, it's how a person feels, and they're asking for your help. It's not an "ugly" thing, it's about something more, something that's effected this soul to the core, and they're asking for help.
Now it makes sense. When we simple categorize thing, we take meaning away from what it truly is. It's okay to turn our faces away because it's just a "guy" thing. It's okay to ignore it because it's normal for "women"
But we're missing the main point. Our bodies may have grown, but our inner needs have never dissipated. That need to be listened to. That need to want to know that you're being heard.
Remember when we were children, very young children, and we'd say something and our parents would chuckle and go along with it? What happened to that? Why did that start to disappear?
My thoughts are it disappeared the moment we reached the age where they thought "you're too old to be behaving like that. Stop that right now."
It was halted. And not it becomes an internal issue. It's so deeply rooted and now we don't even know how to properly deal with it.
Now some people are lucky enough to have parents who teach them the healthy way of expressing themselves, but it's obvious by the majority, that some people didn't.
But now is the time! Now is the time to sit and go over these things. Since tomorrow is is now anyways. What I mean but that is this, whatever choice is it you make today, you create your future. You are living your future right now. And whoever you were a second ago is in the past.
Yes, appreciate who you are, and who you were, because it helps you to becoming something better. We can always improve. Not just ourselves, but our knowledge, our knowing of other things.
I can admit I'm quite sensitive to feelings. I've reverted so many of my blog post to drafts because I felt they were to harsh. But they're quite similar to this. It's what we all can see, we all see problems, but there's only a handful of people who push to help.
It's not just about the crime. It's about what creates the crime. It's those inner turmoil.
That men who's had it up to here with his boss treating him as if he's less than human. Or that boss who's angry with his wife because she's being distant. Or that wife who's cheating on her husband, but is keeping it a secret because she feels like her husband won't listen.
It's just a giant circle.
Now, place one's cultural difference in the mix, and it seems even harder to understand. Well, it's not!!
If anything, I feel I have to be a lot more cautious when I'm speaking with someone from another country. Not because I feel they're different, but because I know the places were grew up have given us a different understanding of things. I don't continue to do this, but only during the first few moments of meeting. This is normal, it's for me to understand where this person's mind is coming from. It's the same thing that's done with meeting a stranger. You wouldn't just walk up to a stranger and start spitting out whatever....well, some would lol But that's not the point.
The point is, when I first started learning Japanese and reading about the country, I realized that even though some of them may think American customs are strange, or we're loud, they are just as similar to us. The difference is the way they are taught to deal with things. Just like how we are a certain way in America, the same holds true in other places. Some people are for it, and some people aren't.
I'll give an example, this Japanese lady wrote a blog about how her two children are going through the phase where they constantly run to her saying "so and so, did this. Mom, make him/her stop!"
It's something a lot of parents go through. So, why is it people always try to place themselves on a pedestal? Thinking they their way is better? Who said you were right?
The same concept for something that large, goes for the same issue here.
Who said that women are right about men, and men are right about women?
There's a lot of different women out there and a lot of different men out there. All so different in the means that, there will always be this piece of them that is unique to them. Regardless of how they try to paint their outer appearance, when you reach down to the very bare bottom, you'll understand exactly what I'm talking about.
So that guy who's either a jock or a guy who shags his pants, has a deeper meaning to him then what you see on the outside. And that girl who wears clothes that are way too revealing, or that really quiet girl who gets bullied, they have a deeper meaning.
What I mean by this is this, when they all go to bed at night, and they are laying alone (if they are with a spouse or whatever, and that spouse has gone to sleep), they may, at that very moment when they're starting up at the ceiling, for that split second, may be who they truly are. Wondering simple human things. Being who they are in their unique way, with their unique thoughts.
It's just when they get up and start rolling, they paint themselves again preparing for another long day.
So this is my thoughts!
Did they provoke anything in you? If so, good. Think on it. Feel what you like.
Smile everyone~
Hugs
Mon
So I've been going through videos on youtube since about 3 p.m. and I someone always get to the videos about people who have emotional scars or they have deep seated hurt and they (on the outside) try to cover that up with outer substances.
One lady is crying in this video. Mainly she's talking about how she feels ugly, and how hurt she is to have young ladies talk about how they feel ugly, etc.
I can't say this doesn't happen for men, I'm sure it does, but for the most part, it's usually women who have this issue.
Seriously, I have no problem being a women! Personally I find it has a gift. I mean, yes it takes two people to procreate, but women are the ones who have to carry that child for nine months, while living, working, taking care of home, dealing with emotions etc. And what's funny is, when I see comments where women complain about not being treated equally and a men lashes back saying that women do have the rights, I don't think that's the problem.
I think a lot of women feel ignored. I mean, the most common thing I hear from my male friends, or men in general is that they don't think the way women do. I'm not against men. I respect their views, but for those who have read blogs know that I question things. Which means I'll question them on those views. I'd like to understand, even if it's just from a few people
If I can give my two cents on this issue. As I said, I don't think this has anything to do with having "equal rights", I think it's about some women feeling like they aren't being listened to. There's seriously nothing wrong with that. Everyone likes to be heard.
Think of it this way. Men like to be respected right? They don't like to be told what to do and how to do it. They like to know that a women is supportive of him and not trying to change him. Now take out the concept of that just being a men quality, it's the same for any one who's learning to live.
Now, to me, it seems like a similar situation. A men is asking for "respect", he hopes that his spouse "listens" and "respects" that.
So men like to be listened to as well. So I'm guessing some women may feel that since they are being supportive and listening, why is it that they aren't getting the same treatment? This is where I believe the problem stems from.
Honestly, I've spoken to guys, they are not hard to speak to. They do listen, it's just I think they categorize certain things as "women traits" or that women are always using their "feelings" to make choices. Now I can understand how this can be an issue. Sometimes our personally feelings can get in the way of and a mistake which could've been prevented happens. But understand one thing, it's not a woman thing. It's a human thing.
Some humans are more sensitive than others. Some humans make ridiculous mistakes.
That aside, I can agree that some women should learn to incorporate logic into their way of living. But it's not just women who make choices based on feelings, some men do as well. They may think they don't, but they do. Let's take "anger", this seems like such a huge emotion which gets a lot of attention in the male department. I think I'd prefer a women to feel "sad" over a men who feels "angry" over something. Usually anger causes fight. Sadness....well, it doesn't cause much harm lol
I don't want to bash either gender, but the true problem stems from the fact that a lot of us have roots.We aren't living in the past, we're living in the today. So why does it seem like a lot of people are either living in yesterday, or last week? If we stop living and thinking that there's no hope, that we can't change our outlook of what we thought was true about something yesterday, and that today isn't yesterday and we can start over, then how are we planning to grow as humans?
The reason things seem so similar is because it seems there's a very small amount of people willing to walk outside as improved. It would seem weird to others to be trashy for most of one's life, but decide to change on night, and step outside dressing differently, speaking different etc. But who cares what others think?!
If you are dedicated to improving yourself because you know it's what's healthy for you, then do it!
I'll say it bluntly, if you're doing something destructive in your life, you're only really putting yourself in harm. The harm you think you do to someone else, is just a reflection of what you're creating for yourself.
If you feel empty. Then feel empty! There's no crime about it. Feel it. Then determine what you can do, what's a healthy way to deal with it? Find forums where others who shared the same problem, but got over it, dealt with it. It'll inspire you.
Seriously, I don't feel like I need to say this, but it's possible! I shouldn't have to tell you this. But I'm doing this on my ow freewill, and I really mean it.
Trust me when I say this, you won't believe how great you'll feel when you get over that hurdle!
Take the situation you're in and say "I'm glad I know what it's like to be sad. But now I want to be happy"
Man or Woman, it doesn't matter! We're all trying our hardest. So stop categorizing everything as a men or a women thing and just simply let it exist. Rather than categorizing it, listen to what the other person is saying and truly listen! They are speaking as the individual they are.
If they feel fat, listen! If they feel ugly, listen!
It's not a "fat" thing, it's how a person feels, and they're asking for your help. It's not an "ugly" thing, it's about something more, something that's effected this soul to the core, and they're asking for help.
Now it makes sense. When we simple categorize thing, we take meaning away from what it truly is. It's okay to turn our faces away because it's just a "guy" thing. It's okay to ignore it because it's normal for "women"
But we're missing the main point. Our bodies may have grown, but our inner needs have never dissipated. That need to be listened to. That need to want to know that you're being heard.
Remember when we were children, very young children, and we'd say something and our parents would chuckle and go along with it? What happened to that? Why did that start to disappear?
My thoughts are it disappeared the moment we reached the age where they thought "you're too old to be behaving like that. Stop that right now."
It was halted. And not it becomes an internal issue. It's so deeply rooted and now we don't even know how to properly deal with it.
Now some people are lucky enough to have parents who teach them the healthy way of expressing themselves, but it's obvious by the majority, that some people didn't.
But now is the time! Now is the time to sit and go over these things. Since tomorrow is is now anyways. What I mean but that is this, whatever choice is it you make today, you create your future. You are living your future right now. And whoever you were a second ago is in the past.
Yes, appreciate who you are, and who you were, because it helps you to becoming something better. We can always improve. Not just ourselves, but our knowledge, our knowing of other things.
I can admit I'm quite sensitive to feelings. I've reverted so many of my blog post to drafts because I felt they were to harsh. But they're quite similar to this. It's what we all can see, we all see problems, but there's only a handful of people who push to help.
It's not just about the crime. It's about what creates the crime. It's those inner turmoil.
That men who's had it up to here with his boss treating him as if he's less than human. Or that boss who's angry with his wife because she's being distant. Or that wife who's cheating on her husband, but is keeping it a secret because she feels like her husband won't listen.
It's just a giant circle.
Now, place one's cultural difference in the mix, and it seems even harder to understand. Well, it's not!!
If anything, I feel I have to be a lot more cautious when I'm speaking with someone from another country. Not because I feel they're different, but because I know the places were grew up have given us a different understanding of things. I don't continue to do this, but only during the first few moments of meeting. This is normal, it's for me to understand where this person's mind is coming from. It's the same thing that's done with meeting a stranger. You wouldn't just walk up to a stranger and start spitting out whatever....well, some would lol But that's not the point.
The point is, when I first started learning Japanese and reading about the country, I realized that even though some of them may think American customs are strange, or we're loud, they are just as similar to us. The difference is the way they are taught to deal with things. Just like how we are a certain way in America, the same holds true in other places. Some people are for it, and some people aren't.
I'll give an example, this Japanese lady wrote a blog about how her two children are going through the phase where they constantly run to her saying "so and so, did this. Mom, make him/her stop!"
It's something a lot of parents go through. So, why is it people always try to place themselves on a pedestal? Thinking they their way is better? Who said you were right?
The same concept for something that large, goes for the same issue here.
Who said that women are right about men, and men are right about women?
There's a lot of different women out there and a lot of different men out there. All so different in the means that, there will always be this piece of them that is unique to them. Regardless of how they try to paint their outer appearance, when you reach down to the very bare bottom, you'll understand exactly what I'm talking about.
So that guy who's either a jock or a guy who shags his pants, has a deeper meaning to him then what you see on the outside. And that girl who wears clothes that are way too revealing, or that really quiet girl who gets bullied, they have a deeper meaning.
What I mean by this is this, when they all go to bed at night, and they are laying alone (if they are with a spouse or whatever, and that spouse has gone to sleep), they may, at that very moment when they're starting up at the ceiling, for that split second, may be who they truly are. Wondering simple human things. Being who they are in their unique way, with their unique thoughts.
It's just when they get up and start rolling, they paint themselves again preparing for another long day.
So this is my thoughts!
Did they provoke anything in you? If so, good. Think on it. Feel what you like.
Smile everyone~
Hugs
Mon
Saturday, October 5, 2013
Things are okay
It may seem difficult to take a situation we consider to be bad, flip it over and see the good.
By this I mean accepting that something that seems horrid or bad, is just an example of what we don't want so we can continue to create what we do want.
It's not impossible to do this!
It's like a mistake, but it's not. It's an experience, and we experience everything deep down inside.
I've been reading that people who are "aware" usually "know" to avoid this.
It's not being "smart" but "knowing", and it's not just something some people have.
Let's remove the word "mistake" for a second. Let's imagine it doesn't exist.
Now, take a situation where we chose to do something. It would just be an experience. And if it harmed us, or made us feel better, feel more connected to our greater truth, are these two not the same thing. They are both an experience which helped us understand ourselves. We come to know that we prefer one experience over another.
I think that's a good way of putting it, rather than saying good or bad.
Because everything has energy, so do words, so I'm quite choosy when it comes to writing out a word. It's mainly because if someone reads this, I'd like to give them a clearer understanding of what I'm trying to say. Certain words have a certain level.
Such as the word "angry", there's a lot of words that can stem from this, each with it's own unique feel.
Oh oh! Also today was great! I told my teacher I couldn't sleep last night because I was so excited lol I'm not joking. There were a lot of times I wanted to reach over and grab my cellphone to check the time, but I knew I needed to get some rest or I'd be sleepy.
The class is 7 hours long, and we get a break at 12 noon. I woke up at 6:23 a.m. My original plan was to get up at 7:15 a.m. But something was nudging me to get up sooner.I'm not sure if it was me or not, but I'm sure it was for the best anyways because if I woke up at the time I did, I would've probably been late. I was able to eat a big enough meal for breakfast. Then I had a difficult time finding a container to put my lunch in lol and I was able to watch some of this new cartoon I love watching!
If I had woken up later, I don't think those things would've been able to fit in like they did this morning.
I often get this feeling a lot, but I ignore it lol I feel it mostly when I'm sleeping. Sometimes it's me, and sometimes it isn't, and sometimes it's my body. Usually I listen to my body. I like to dream! So I try to have as many dreams as I can to search for inspiration for new story idea. Also I like the feel of sleeping lol
But I often wake up when my body starts to ache. There's so much to do, is what I say, and yet I enjoy sleeping lol It's because the day in my mind hasn't started. I usually start off pretty slow. It would be me tossing around on my bed trying to figure out what to do. I'd usually wake up and start reading a book, or eat. Once I'm up and good to go, that's when I start doing just about whatever comes to my mind lol
I'm gonna take a nap. I have a homework assignment online, but I'd like to rest my brain.
O__O The class had to learn some stuff about this 3D animation program called Maya. I didn't learn a lot of things the instructor went over today, so it was insightful! But I wanted to make sure I truly understood what he meant. :3 Now I get it! So I'm happy.
But I'm gonna give my head a chance to just play around and wake up and put it back to work lol Poor thing.
Mon
By this I mean accepting that something that seems horrid or bad, is just an example of what we don't want so we can continue to create what we do want.
It's not impossible to do this!
It's like a mistake, but it's not. It's an experience, and we experience everything deep down inside.
I've been reading that people who are "aware" usually "know" to avoid this.
It's not being "smart" but "knowing", and it's not just something some people have.
Let's remove the word "mistake" for a second. Let's imagine it doesn't exist.
Now, take a situation where we chose to do something. It would just be an experience. And if it harmed us, or made us feel better, feel more connected to our greater truth, are these two not the same thing. They are both an experience which helped us understand ourselves. We come to know that we prefer one experience over another.
I think that's a good way of putting it, rather than saying good or bad.
Because everything has energy, so do words, so I'm quite choosy when it comes to writing out a word. It's mainly because if someone reads this, I'd like to give them a clearer understanding of what I'm trying to say. Certain words have a certain level.
Such as the word "angry", there's a lot of words that can stem from this, each with it's own unique feel.
Oh oh! Also today was great! I told my teacher I couldn't sleep last night because I was so excited lol I'm not joking. There were a lot of times I wanted to reach over and grab my cellphone to check the time, but I knew I needed to get some rest or I'd be sleepy.
The class is 7 hours long, and we get a break at 12 noon. I woke up at 6:23 a.m. My original plan was to get up at 7:15 a.m. But something was nudging me to get up sooner.I'm not sure if it was me or not, but I'm sure it was for the best anyways because if I woke up at the time I did, I would've probably been late. I was able to eat a big enough meal for breakfast. Then I had a difficult time finding a container to put my lunch in lol and I was able to watch some of this new cartoon I love watching!
If I had woken up later, I don't think those things would've been able to fit in like they did this morning.
I often get this feeling a lot, but I ignore it lol I feel it mostly when I'm sleeping. Sometimes it's me, and sometimes it isn't, and sometimes it's my body. Usually I listen to my body. I like to dream! So I try to have as many dreams as I can to search for inspiration for new story idea. Also I like the feel of sleeping lol
But I often wake up when my body starts to ache. There's so much to do, is what I say, and yet I enjoy sleeping lol It's because the day in my mind hasn't started. I usually start off pretty slow. It would be me tossing around on my bed trying to figure out what to do. I'd usually wake up and start reading a book, or eat. Once I'm up and good to go, that's when I start doing just about whatever comes to my mind lol
I'm gonna take a nap. I have a homework assignment online, but I'd like to rest my brain.
O__O The class had to learn some stuff about this 3D animation program called Maya. I didn't learn a lot of things the instructor went over today, so it was insightful! But I wanted to make sure I truly understood what he meant. :3 Now I get it! So I'm happy.
But I'm gonna give my head a chance to just play around and wake up and put it back to work lol Poor thing.
Mon
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