Feeling: The maga F word

Hiiiii~~!

So I've been doing well...okay I've been sleeping later and later. That's definitely no good. It's not even that I'm trying to force lots of stuff into one day, I'm just not very sleepy at the moment (I took a nap earlier).

Anyways, I would like to talk about feelings! Yes, feelings. I think I often talk about this right? I'm not even sure if I'm looking for some kind of answer, but I'll just roll with it for now.

So I often feel (of course everyone feels!) very very often. Sometimes I'll feel something in my chest. The best way I can explain it is like having butterflies in your chest lol it's the best way. I describe it as a wave. When it happens, it's very noticeable for me. It's not something that I can recall has always happened to me. Anyways, they are often random...or it would seem that way. I would usually stop to understand what it might mean, but then I'd shrugs it off and go on with my day lol I think I should probably pay attention to my surroundings or stop and pay attention to what I'm doing when it happens.

The reason I decided to write this is because, just a second ago, I stepped out of my room and "felt" something. I literally stopped, but I couldn't quite understand what it was. Everytime something like this happens, with feelings I mean, I always get the message in mind to meditate. Ugh...it seems so boring to me lol Okay, not boring, but I wish it was a bit easier to communicate. I know it takes focus and meditation doesn't necessarily means I need to sit down. It's more like clearly the mind of all thoughts to allow transmission to flow through. Kind of like tuning a radio to a radio station when there's a lot of static. You want the clear sound, or else there will be white noise over the actually music and it'll be difficult to hear.

Feeling isn't really that hard for me. It's understanding them that's a little difficult. It's being able to focus, or be aware of what the feeling is doing to the whole body. Somehow I wonder if a lot of us our using out bodies to our full potential and I don't just mean exercising everyday of the week.

Anyways, I feel like it was something/someone trying to send me some kind of message. This happened a few days ago as well. Maybe I mentioned to someone to remind me of something lol yes I do this xD

In the end, I know that it's best for me to filter this information. Hm....but the thing is I don't want to interpret the message in my own way...The best way I can describe it is like this, if I speak to someone is they tell me something, and I'm told to relay that message to someone else, I would like to give the word for word of what was said. This is why I prefer people to speak to each other rather than me speaking on their behalf. I dunno, it's such a petty reason, but it really means a lot to me. A lot can be lost in communication.

I guess that's why I don't take the time to "understand" it, because I rather just "feel" it, than to try to translate it

I really think this kind of thing is possible for everyone but some people might be like me. Or they might not care for it. Me personally, I'm more of the "focus-on-the-world-right-now" kind of thing. The reason I switched to this is because I was starting to dedicate too much time to studying it. I felt I needed to connect with the world.  Recently I'm focusing  on being creative and expressing myself. I don't speak as much...by this I mean I don't just come out and talk. If I'm feeling something I'll focus on it. Then I'll question it and see if it's meaningful. I just hope people don't think I'm uninterested in what they have to say. This is why I haven't really typed much here.

Well, I'm sleepy now lol Oh! And I finally completed the cover chapter page for my webcomic! Yay!!

There's just so much I wanna do! I'm trying to take it one step at a time because I'll end up overwhelming myself lol

This blog went in all different directions again. Sometimes I feel a little vain when I constantly talk about myself here. Sometimes, it's the same when talking to people. It's not that I don't think I shouldn't talk about myself, or that I think less of myself, I mainly feel that I don't really need to speak much about myself. Hm...kind of like I don't want my worth to be measured by what I say about myself, or how I express myself, but by the things i do...or something like that lol Any even then I don't feel that I do much at all. All of my work is still in my head...or rather, it's still "up there", so I kind of have quite a bit of work to do.

Well, what I mean is that I'm okay with talking about myself, but I don't feel it's the only thing to talk about. It's not that important to constantly talk about. I enjoy talking about new things, such as what I learned, rather than what I can do.

Anyways, that's all for me! Oh! Before I leave, I watched this segment on Dr.Oz about chakras. I almost jumped out of my skin (it didn't look like I was excited or anything lol) when they mentioned that it's becoming a common practice in hospitals to heal the spirit and charkas! It's great! Of course we have medicine for physical ailments, but a lot of the time it only seems to cause more problems. Whereas, a lot of the problems stem from our feelings. Those emotions can really effect us overtime. I never thought they should get rid of physical medicine, but I did think it would be great to incorporate something like this. And it's here! Yay~~!!

Of course I believe the chakras exist. In this lifetime I don't recall ever seeing them but I definitely feel that they exist. Hm....I could say I even know lol I should really speak with certainty. Anyways, I wanted to share that too!

Night!

Mon

12/23/13

I decided to write a blog so I won't concentrate on the fact that I'm sleepy lol I have to wait for the cookies to cool off so I can put them away. So I'll just write about what's been going on lately.

Recently I've done a bit of shopping. The day before yesterday (I believe) I went to Barnes and Noble with my mom and younger sister. My mom wanted to purchase a book for my cousin in Mississippi. So she and my sister will be sending everything off tomorrow.

Anyways, while there I came across a new book by Michael Newton! I love his books. They are metaphysically based. He's a therapist, he's recently started doing hypnosis to get to the root of his clients problems. He goes into the soul, having this clients speak to him through their subconscious/higher self.

I was able to find the book online, so I'm reading that now. Of course I don't feel sleepy reading this kind of work because it's interesting to me! I highly recommend his books. :3

So I can't believe Christmas is this Wednesday! I remember when I was younger, Christmas just seemed like it took forever. Now when I have shopping to do, Christmas decides to come instantly! I'm still not ready yet! hahaha This whole year went by so quickly. So fast in fact that I wonder if I even had time to evaluate whether I had time to think about anything! Well, I definitely look forward to being able to speak more freely as who I am.  Of course the work never ends @___@ But thinking that way just makes me wonder why we keep working. Do we really enjoy it that much?

Oh! So I'm guessing this year went by quickly due to the people I've been around recently. At this new campus everyone is usually always soooo happy and friendly! I've really grown to love this school and I always can't wait to see everyone again! It's like being there, everyone is okay with being weird or nerdy and talk about movies and cartoons lol I love it! Even the teachers seem very childlike...or rather, the same teachers I've had since the very beginning.

Well, my classes began in January. Although I do like to see my classmates, I don't like waking up to go to school lol But I also don't like NOT doing anything. Mainly transportation has been going okay up until now. However, I've come across a small issue. Well, I'm sure things will work out *cross fingers* I know I have to put effort forward as well. I wonder what I should do more of.

As for my webcomic, it's slowly coming along. I'm still not quite happy with Chapter 4's ending. I'm sure the reader won't care as long as I post something. I've been gone from there for 3 months! I told them I'd post in December. So I feel that I must! I will this week for sure.

It snowed about two weeks ago. However, most of the snow has melted. It's kind of cold, but not extremely cold. Is this a blessing for people who are still out driving around to gather presents? Well, I think it is! So I appreciate the lack of icy roads.

Hm...did I mention how I love my neighborhood? lol Well I do! haha

Oh! I also started reading this book called "Night" that's by a Jewish man (I believe). He talks about his life when he was a teenager and had to live in a concentration camp. It's really hard to imagine that what he described really happened to people. :/ For some people who call themselves human, those acts were very inhumane, heartless and cold. They really thought they were doing some good. It's not good if people are dying because they don't believe what you believe. That's just being narrow-minded. I haven't finished the book, but I was very buried in it earlier today.

It's been a while since I've read any fictional work....what I'm typing seems very familiar....

Well, anyways, I always wonder "is there ever any words strong enough, powerful enough, to just wake people up?", that's not to say some people aren't aware, there are a great number of people who are aware, it's just I wonder when everyone will just stop when they realize that humans are usually the one's who hurt each other the most. Of course I don't blame the whole world for this, or the Creator of this world, I only blame the person causing the harm. Maybe not even blame, but I feel for them. I know they'll eventually come to their senses some day. I just find it ridiculous that in order to make life easier for them in the flesh, they feel the need to "destroy" a life.

For example, about a month of so ago, I read an article about a hospital that refused to donate an organ to a young man (I believe it was a heart). Mainly it's because the young man ruined his heart and they were iffy iffy about whether he would end up doing the same thing and ruin the donated organ. They felt that it was best to give it to someone who would actually take care of the organ, rather than waste it.

These kinds of situations really get me thinking. I understood what they meant, but I also felt for the young man. I haven't followed up on this article, but I hope he made some adjustments to his lifestyle and habits and was able receive the organ.

Well, the cookies are done and it's almost 5 a.m. I'm gonna head to bed now. Ugh, I have some baking and cooking to do later today. Hopefully I'll be up to it!


Night and have a great Christmas!

Mon

Quarter is over

Hi!

So I've been a bit busy with my finals and was able to complete them as best as I could. Although, I do feel that if I actually put forth effort to work on my 3D animation assignments sooner, I wouldn't have been in the situation I was in. Well, it's over with and everything's okay.

I passed both of my classes with a B. I would've had an A for my materials & lighting class, but I was behind by one point so :P Oh well!

Soooo, where to start? Okay, so I have a few things in mind that I would like to do. I recently downloaded this free crochet pdf from a website! I'm so excited. I also started reading The Animator's Survival Kit by Richard Williams. It's all about 2D animation.

I've also started two separate sim movies. A lot of people create series or machinima's using the Sims 2 or 3.However, I have a webcomic I'd like to complete! I'll be starting Chapter 4. I'd like to get a start on it now and I've been considering multiple ways as to how I want Chapter 4 to play out. There's way too many ways and I can't quite figure out which one I like best!I hope to finish Chapter 4 before my class began again in January. It's always been this way. The longest time I have is actually the summer. I'd also like to come up with a concept for a Christmas page.

When it comes to coming up with ideas, I become wayyyy too serious and I know it's not necessary. I need to just relax lol and have fun with what I'm doing. :3 After all our greatest critic is ourselves.

I just happy that my followers have been by my side this long. I feel I owe it to them to give them great work. But then again, who determines how great one's work is but the person doing the work? If I keep thinking this way how will I ever get anything done? :P

So I'm thinking something cute. So I'll do that. I also need a cover page for the next Chapter, but I figured that when I write the script a cover page will come to mind.

Hm...what else? Well, for Christmas I decided to crack out the cookbook my sister got me last Christmas! So far I've only made one thing from that cookbook and it took me about 10 hours to make because I had to do everything by hand (I didn't know it required flatting machine lol).

The book has all kinds of foods in it from different countries (it's an international cookbook). For now I have my eye on these Ginger spice cookies. I also want to make an apple pie (I've never made one before!). Hm...I guess I'm more of a baker. I dunno, I just like to try new things. Every Christmas or Thanksgiving it's usually the same old thing. Not that it's bad or anything, but it does get tiring.

Oh! That's what it was, I was thinking of making Spring rolls. But spring rolls for Christmas? I guess it doesn't matter right lol In the end food is going to get eaten.

Also, last night my mom gave me this book by a man named Elie Wies. I started reading it last night, it's suppose to be about his experience in a concentration camp. So I'm sure there will be tears lol I don't often read fiction novels, but I thought "why not?" I realized that the amount of novels such as fantasy, or horror has decreased and I moved towards reading about metaphysics. There's nothing wrong with this, but I kind of asked myself if I ever missed being able to hope into imagination land. Besides, since I'm working to improve my storytelling skill, where else to start than reading novels by other authors?

Then I started to remember how much of a bookworm I was as a kid. I start to think about how I was a kid and thought that I just read whatever I wanted. There's no restrictions at all! As kids we felt the amount of possibilities are endless. When did that disappear? When we listened to others who said it's impossible is my belief. The worst part is when we started to believe them.

Everything is definitely possible. The more you tell yourself that, the more true it will become. It changes the outlook on life, and then never again will you think any less of your ability. It can seem difficult but it's really not impossible. It takes effort to get over an old habit but, speaking from experience, it's by no means impossible. It's all in the mind/head. I repeat that it's not impossible! It's very very possible! Trust me when I say that the moment you kick an old habit and improve with a new, you may say "that wasn't hard at all" and head for improving other faucet of your life.

 I find that there is always something I can work on :3 That's why it seems like there's so much to do! A lot of the work is inner though. Well, actually everything comes from within, it's the putting it out there part that is the work.

What's a bit strange is I feel that I'm doing nothing at all lol

Okay, I'm rambling. I said my words of encouragement and also started my plans. If I can't complete everything then so be it. I'll just get back to it some other time.

Mon

Randomness: Navel!

D: The navel, or in other words, the belly button! *pokes*

I became curious about my belly button for some strange reason. But hey!On the plus side I found out that there's more information about the navel than I thought. I'm reading wiki now and there's a lot of information here! The belly button is indeed an interesting thing. It's supplied by something called a tenth thoracic spinal nerve. Since I have no idea what a tenth thoracic spinal nerve is I've decided to take the liberty of looking it up. I'm sure I'll find something in there there that will catch my attention, and then I'll have a bunch of tabs opened on google and in the end I'll just end up clicking them all off, not finding out more about the belly button.

Maybe it's more of  a curiosity thing with me rather than a need to know. *Shrugs* This is usually how my pursuits are.

Well, I'm retiring for the night. Surprised I am that this blog if short lol You get one full paragraph! That's it for this girl here :3

Night

Mon

Oh! Btw, I haven't meditated. But once I start I'll challenge myself to keep it up.

Meditation Day 1

Hi!

So the squat challenge I decided to join my sister with will finally be over tomorrow. The finally day is 250 squats. I usually just break them up into groups of 25 or 50 and take a break in between. Unfortunately my older sister hurt her knee while doing this :/ She' been taking a break from doing them. But hey, if she has to stop altogether, so be it. She had a lot of drive and determination but sometimes we just have to know our limits. I'm sure her knee will get better!

Well, to the point of this blog. From today on I will try my best to meditate. This month I'll just start with 5-10 minutes a day and one session per day. In the past I did try to meditate but it's usually so loud here and at random times. By this I mean that on certain days it would be quiet round midnight and other times it would be very noisy. So when I had a set time it just didn't work. Unless I woke up at 5 a.m. Usually everyone would probably be asleep.

I hope it's okay to have my sessions at random times for now. At least I'll make an effort though :3 So I hope that's more important. What I really want to accomplish is being able to keep a calm mind in any situation. To me, this is very important. So I'm sure, somehow, meditation will help.

Mon