Sharing

I meant to share this a few days ago, but oh well I'm sharing it now!

An interesting thing happened and it makes me wonder if  maybe something will shift! I'm hoping so.

My older sister ended up sharing something with me that made her very happy haha Even after I wrote all of what I wrote in my previous blog. The moment she started telling me about a lady who just made her so happy, I instantly went back to our conversation.

That day she was working very long hours (10 hours! Which is absolutely ridiculous) and I remember expressing to my younger sister that I felt very bad/sad for my older sister. The time when I wrote the previous blog I was spending the weekend at her house to babysit my nephew and that Saturday she left at about 9 a.m. and didn't get home until about 10 p.m. :(

Anyway, this was the case again as she had dropped off my nephew that day. So back to the story. She tells me she has something to tell me and so I call her and she tells me that this elderly lady made her very happy, but it wasn't what the elderly lady DID, it was what my sister did for her and the fact that the lady acknowledged her work and appreciated her help. Instantly I was happy even though I didn't have much to say haha But of course it's often this way with me in real life.

I'm a feely kind of person, and so I can't quite put into words what I'm feeling. I find this is the case as well with my blogs. Yet my blogs are usually long because I'm writing the thoughts that come to my head and they're usually quite...extensive lol

My sister tells me that she wheels this lady to her room, which the lady was happy she did. Then my sister helped her get settled in AND helped fix her t.v.

Overall my sister said she was filled with such happiness. It made me realize how helping others somehow help us! This isn't much of an opinion, but I guess some people might think it is, but I don't think we were necessarily meant to be selfish. Perhaps I should say it's my "belief" but I feel that this has been preached so often by so many religious...person's of importance(?) or revolutionist, that it kind of seems a bit factual...or rather as a way of living that provides a state of well-being for everyone.

Although I believe being a bit "selfish" is okay, as we also have to look after our own well-being, the best kind of happiness is when we can truly give genuinely.

This is what I was hoping my sister could understand and experience. Witness that what she gave to this lady, other's have given her.

I think the issue is that sometimes we get so caught up in our worlds that we miss certain things. We simply can't see them. I don't know if I can blame them, because I think it's like playing a sport and getting very caught up in the game that you might get angry and frustrated that the other team scored when in reality it's simply a game.

I think of moments like these as human errors...or just being human. I think it might really be an ego thing, but I think blaming the ego is kind of harsh. I believe everything we have is at our disposal, we have for a reason. So the ego is something we have for a reason. The issue, I think, is having it take the wheel. And with that, I guess I should say that there has to be a bit of accountability, yet I also understand that some people just aren't sure how to deal with their situations. And so they deal with them the best way they can.

Aside from my sister, I find it easier to examine myself by looking at the outside world. See what others are doing, evaluate myself and see if I'm doing the same thing. Does that sound confusing? I'll explain. So if I see someone do something I consider dangerous, I will more than likely not even bat an eye at attempting it. Mostly, I don't structure my life around others, but I view them and I go "Oh! That seems interesting, I'll try incorporating that piece into my life!"

Honestly I think I'm either too lazy or too stubborn to want to be like everyone else lol There are days when I start to go "You know I wish..." and then just drop my hand down and go "well, yeah, nevermind" lol The fact that some people live that way is amazing to me.

I will say, as an update on my currently, I'm still job hunting. But I'm wondering if I'm really doing just that. The workforce seems soooooo depressing to me. I think I sound like a millennial, but I realized now why they say "work smart, not hard". A lot of people break their necks and are barely living. Just constantly working every single day and missing out on living.

Then it makes me wonder, what is living? Because I'm kind of a homebody...okay I really am. My day consist of me just reading and learning, then playing a video game for like an hour or so, then learning some more haha And I go "am I doing enough?" but somehow I feel content.

Somehow I feel that the feeling of getting up and going out there is just simply because some people have said that "that's living!" and I'm like "you know what, if I don't do _____, I'm not living!"

Yet, somehow I feel at peace with my simplicity. The truth is that I believe, aside from culture, no matter where I go, people will be people. They will be friendly, they will be angry. They will feel just as anyone would in America.

The experience, I think, is what they mean by "living". It's experiencing things outside of your own world. And perhaps I will do this eventually, but right now my goals are elsewhere.

Some people might be like "how can you feel that you're living, simply by reading and learning?!"

Honestly I have no idea lol and I thought this was a bit odd until I realized that I've always been this way. The only difference was that I was in a different building, and that building was called "school" lol I recall always visiting my school's library in elementary, as well as in middle school, and ever so often in high school (in high school I was in choir and art, so those kept be busy). I remember spending so long tracing pictures of Loony Tune characters in my bedroom without even knowing I was teaching myself how to draw lol I've always had my face in a book and my mom use to call me a bookworm.

I think the true issue is that without a job, I'm just wasting time! And I get it. Can't really make a living doing nothing. But I think to myself, am I really doing nothing? I'm gaining knowledge. The problem is that I'm not getting paid to learn. If I could get paid to learn or to just read, I'm sure I'd be set.

The same goes for my art, for my webcomic, I'm not getting paid to do any of it. I just do!

So it's not like I'm not "doing" anything. I am. I'm always doing something, it's just I'm not gaining income from it. Which is why I've been reading books by financial advisers or things about passive income! I think, more than anything, it's all about putting into action what I've learned.

So that's where I am right now.

I just want to say that I'm usually always happy when others are happy.  The only time I won't feel that shared happiness is when I'm either extremely worn out or I'm deep in thought. I share in people's happiness, and I also share in their pain mostly because it's hard to not feel for others. I hope my sister can gain a bit more happiness in ways that are healthy and helpful for her as well. I hope this is the case for everyone.

There's way too many people out their that may be pretending to be something that they truly aren't deep down inside. This to me is sad because it hurts them as well as the person they're causing the harm to. The true issue is when they get to the point where they stop listening to themselves so much that they don't feel anything at all.

The "world" is a very odd place to me recently. I find myself saying "If we would do this it would be easier! It's something so simple!"

So a good example. I remember reading about honne and tatemae in Japanese. I can't recall which is which, but one of those is when a person only reacts and speaks the way other's would want them to, and the other is when they respond and speak in the way they truly feel. Pretty much, it's similar to what a lot of us do. The thing is that Japanese society is usually about trying their best to keep the harmony. Yet, the more I read about their society and watched videos and hearing their views about their society I thought to myself "They should just be honest with themselves"

But such a request/statement would seem "impossible" because it would disrupt the structure, or it's too difficult. I get keeping the harmony, but there seems to be a con to it as well, and it's possibly the lack of being able to properly express their feelings.

Whereas, America is the opposite. People express themselves too much, even to the point of not caring if they hurt another person's feeling!

This is when I call in balance. There's nothing wrong with expressing yourself. Mostly I like to always think to myself "how would I feel if someone did/said this to me?" and work from their.

Now the problem is when people go "Oh! I would be okay if someone did/say that to me!" when the person in question really wouldn't feel comfortable with it.

First and foremost, it helps to at least try to understand where someone is coming from, even if it's something you don't agree with. It also helps to not think of them as being "stupid" just because they aren't as educated as you are. We all learn at different levels.

This is why I think the world is interesting...I should say people are interesting. We make things so complicated due to our own inner worlds expressed to the outside world. When someone think they're ugly, what do they do? Express this to the world outside of themselves!

Look, I'm even doing it now! haha But it's with the intent of somehow helping someone or at least resonating with someone.

I don't think I'm a person who could write a manual and say "this is how things should go!" but I think if I sit with someone for a few hours and hear them speak, I'll walk away feeling as if I know them. I think people are much more willing to open up when other's are willing to listen. Most of what I write here I base on my experience. I think it's very kind of people to share with me personally things about themselves, because they don't have to at all. I may have thought on their actions, but at the end of the day I know they're on their own journey, as hard as they may be for me. Sometimes I'd love to just shake people, grab their hand and lead them, but the truth is that they'll never learn if I do that. To truly "get it" you have to understand it. You can't do that while being led blindly.

It's like being blindfolded and being fed the answers.

Well, that's all for now! Wishing you all the best on your journey. If you're interested why not just out some metaphysics blogs or articles. Aside from talking to a friend of mines about spirituality and asking her questions like crazy I'd recommend metaphysics as a topic of interest for me. I don't remember how I found out about this genre, but it helped me form some of my views.

Good night...or rather good morning lol It's 2 a.m. here

Mon