Hi Blogger nuts! <---I have no idea
I said before that I wanted to start posting some images to go along with my blogs. Hm....I may still do that, but only on the blogs that need them. I've been also considering vlogging, but the problem with that is keeping up with them everyday. Personally, I love vloggers who vlog everyday and have specific topics they cover each week. Unfortunately I have no idea what I would talk about. So I'm sure my videos would be sparse.
Anyways, I decided to share one of my flaws. Well, I don't know if I would call it a flaw, I think flaw has a negative connotation, I'll say it's a quirk. Quirk sounds cuter and less harsh.
Well, my quirk is that I can be impulsive. Urgh, impulsive urges are the worst lol It's like temptation is always standing behind me with an offer or pushing me towards an object. Why am I talking about this? Well, yesterday there was something a fb friend of mines sent me. It's supposedly a way to make money online. Instantly I felt "Yeah I don't trust this" despite the fact that I do use website and have earned money doing things online. HOWEVER, the difference is the amount being offered.
On this website they say a person can make about 40,000 a month. What really got me was that I would have to pay $47 dollars per month. Hm....That made me skeptical lol I know it's funny that that small amount made me skeptical. And yet despite that feeling I was seriously about to visit my paypal account to transfer money to my card lol oh boy xDD
Now, as I said I've used websites to earn money, but I don't have to spend money, and it's not like I'm earning so much in such a short amount of time. It's not like I don't think it's possible to make a lot of money in a month, but not online, that sounds like a scam.
Now, luckily I didn't have the money on my card, and in order to transfer money from my bank account to my paypal would take 3-5 days. Which I didn't do.
Instead I looked up videos and reviews on youtube, and boy did I see a lot about people talking about how it's a scam. I researched through google as well. I also thought to myself that at least with a job I'd have a better idea of whether I will be getting a check or not. I also questioned myself on whether or not I'd keep up with dealing with that website, which was an absolute no.
Recently I've been reflecting on what's important, what I should focus on, and what I need in my life to accomplish those things. And using that website was not one and going to a woman's expo was not one. These are side things I can consider, but they may likely distract me from what I need to do in order to get to where I want to be. I just hope the people I let down in the future will understand this.
Anyway, because I've been reflecting on those things, I made a promise to myself to focus, and I'm starting to feel like it really will test whether I can control my impulse to act on things I'll regret. There will be that part of me that thinks I'll really need this and that when I truly don't, and yeah I may feel a little empty because I don't need it, but it'll fade away. Besides, when I complete my goals, and the opportunity is still present, I'll ask myself if I still want that thing, but for the most part they are nonsense things.
The reason I would have chosen to join that thing is to pay off my loans, but I shouldn't even be thinking about my loans. I am planning ahead on how I'll pay them off, but I'm not so worried. I'm keeping my mind free from worrying about that and leave it to a higher power to guide me to where I have to go and, perhaps, I will happen to stumble on a job I truly love and the loan won't even feel like a burden.
Also, I've been imagining the kind of place I'd like to work. If it's in art, or whatever, all I want in a place where everyone is open and friendly, where they don't judge each other, and where they would allow you to be yourself. If that's in the place I work, I'd be happy to work on projects with them. I love stuff like that!
So I'm sure my thoughts are being monitored. I'm not asking for much, but I'd at least like that much. :)
In my birth chart it recommended that I don't stick to an indoor job, but rather to take a job where I can travel or be outdoors. I do love being indoors, but it's only when I'm at home. When I'm working on things, I can sit for only about a few hours (5 hours is the most I can sit and work on something straight through) before I want to get up and walk around outside or get some air.
Back to the point, I feel that having a quirk is a good way to challenge yourself. If you would like to stop doing such and such action, I believe it's very possible. For one, you have to place your mind in the right place. Stop telling yourself you can't and start taking small steps to get it done. If you see yourself as being something, such as being happier, being more creative, etc, don't tell yourself it's impossible because it's not. I look at it like this, you just need the resources, and if you walk into a library you will see there are countless aisles of information and books to help you improve. The same is true for life.
Improve because you want to. This is key! When you want to do it, you definitely will. :) And you definitely can!
I shared my quirk as a well to give you proof that if I can stop making impulsive decisions (and I will continue to improve this quirk) so can you~~ So let's keep doing our best because the only place you can go is forward.
Mon
Sunday, June 28, 2015
Saturday, June 27, 2015
A thought (Warriors with wagons)
When you realize that you can't continue to carry your own weighted wagon and someone else's...
Struggle is a tough thing. I don't think a lot of people want to see other people struggle, I know I certainly don't. But, there's a way to look at it as something that isn't so bad. I think it has more to do with what I was taught growing up, not from my mom, but from the times I did go to church as a kid.
It's the compassionate and generous thing to give without requiring something in return. This is sad to be an ultimate kindness. Yet, some people take and take. Imagine it as if your restore your heart and then people come and began to take and take pieces of it, then you have to go heal again, and the same thing happens once more. After some time, wouldn't it make sense that you'll choose who you'll share it with? It's not out of being mean or rude, but the understanding that there are those who could truly need kindness and those who simply want it because they can have it.
I imagine us all starting off with an empty wagon. As we proceed through our journey in life we began to pile on things we've picked up. Along the way we see other people carrying their own wagons as well. We can choose to help them if we want, we can even give encouraging words. Now, there is also the option of pulling their wagon and your own. It's twice the work, but it seems like they can use a hand right? But, what exactly does that person gain from this but a free and carefree ride at your expense.
It could just be my nature but I often feel very harsh when I say things like this, but I try my best not to feel guilty because I understand that it's a part of me that knows that there are people out there like that.
It's easy for them because they just toss all their problems on you.
This hasn't happened to me recently, but it came to mind when I started reading this article here:
http://www.spiritscienceandmetaphysics.com/3-symptoms-of-a-lost-soul/
I didn't get very far when this thought came to mind and I started to wonder why I though struggle is a "bad" thing. Well, of course struggling as helped me in many ways! But I definitely don't enjoy it because it can be tough, but...well think of it like being forced to eat your broccoli as a kid. You can either just get it over with or scoop it under your plate and hope your parents don't find out lol
But we know the saying that vegetables are good for us, well, I think similar of struggles. My theory is that it's a souls way of exercise. I know there are people out there who claim we aren't souls, but, okay, think of it as mental exercises then lol You go through life and you come across obstacles. Based on the past events, you very likely hold the answers to solving this new riddle.
What does this have to do with your wagon? Well, I think we pack on our wagons what we wish to. For example, when you go to a market and you see lots of cool things and lots of interesting people, will you go nuts and start tossing things and people on your wagon, or will you choose what's essential for you? Also, when you realize you don't need certain things in your wagon, will you toss it or will you continue to carry it?
I'm sure you get what I'm saying when I say "wagon" right? If not I'm talking about the weights, burdens, we carry on our shoulders.
Things seems to look a lot more complicated when viewed from the perspective of living, but I always find that thinking of it in terms of something else can make it a bit easier.
I love this Youtuber! Her name is Jenna Marbles, and I think she does a very good and interesting job of explaining why having low expectations is a good things. Despite her vulgar language at time, she makes a lot of interesting points lol
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RljdJzA1nhk
Mon
P.S
I'm not saying you can't help people, I'm saying that you have a choice who you help and should prepare to take responsibility/accept the outcome accordingly. I know someone who seems a bit bitter about all that they gave to someone only to have the person up and leave. I can imagine that such a thing is painful, but I often think that when a person chooses to let someone in their life, it's a choice on their behalf, not something they are forced to do. I've had my share of let downs, but I walk into things with the mentality that if things start to hit the fan I know it's a path I chose and must see it through. It's not always easy, but the things that aren't easy teach us or strengthen us.
I simply say this to give sword and shields to the great fighting warriors of life. I know quite a few and I truly appreciate their great strength and determination. Great warriors like to be acknowledge, I believe, so this is for all the people out there trying their best and those who are doing all they can but don't feel it's enough, let it be known that your efforts are never in vain.
Keep up the good work! If I notice your strength, I'm sure plenty of others do. They just don't say anything :)
Struggle is a tough thing. I don't think a lot of people want to see other people struggle, I know I certainly don't. But, there's a way to look at it as something that isn't so bad. I think it has more to do with what I was taught growing up, not from my mom, but from the times I did go to church as a kid.
It's the compassionate and generous thing to give without requiring something in return. This is sad to be an ultimate kindness. Yet, some people take and take. Imagine it as if your restore your heart and then people come and began to take and take pieces of it, then you have to go heal again, and the same thing happens once more. After some time, wouldn't it make sense that you'll choose who you'll share it with? It's not out of being mean or rude, but the understanding that there are those who could truly need kindness and those who simply want it because they can have it.
I imagine us all starting off with an empty wagon. As we proceed through our journey in life we began to pile on things we've picked up. Along the way we see other people carrying their own wagons as well. We can choose to help them if we want, we can even give encouraging words. Now, there is also the option of pulling their wagon and your own. It's twice the work, but it seems like they can use a hand right? But, what exactly does that person gain from this but a free and carefree ride at your expense.
It could just be my nature but I often feel very harsh when I say things like this, but I try my best not to feel guilty because I understand that it's a part of me that knows that there are people out there like that.
It's easy for them because they just toss all their problems on you.
This hasn't happened to me recently, but it came to mind when I started reading this article here:
http://www.spiritscienceandmetaphysics.com/3-symptoms-of-a-lost-soul/
I didn't get very far when this thought came to mind and I started to wonder why I though struggle is a "bad" thing. Well, of course struggling as helped me in many ways! But I definitely don't enjoy it because it can be tough, but...well think of it like being forced to eat your broccoli as a kid. You can either just get it over with or scoop it under your plate and hope your parents don't find out lol
But we know the saying that vegetables are good for us, well, I think similar of struggles. My theory is that it's a souls way of exercise. I know there are people out there who claim we aren't souls, but, okay, think of it as mental exercises then lol You go through life and you come across obstacles. Based on the past events, you very likely hold the answers to solving this new riddle.
What does this have to do with your wagon? Well, I think we pack on our wagons what we wish to. For example, when you go to a market and you see lots of cool things and lots of interesting people, will you go nuts and start tossing things and people on your wagon, or will you choose what's essential for you? Also, when you realize you don't need certain things in your wagon, will you toss it or will you continue to carry it?
I'm sure you get what I'm saying when I say "wagon" right? If not I'm talking about the weights, burdens, we carry on our shoulders.
Things seems to look a lot more complicated when viewed from the perspective of living, but I always find that thinking of it in terms of something else can make it a bit easier.
I love this Youtuber! Her name is Jenna Marbles, and I think she does a very good and interesting job of explaining why having low expectations is a good things. Despite her vulgar language at time, she makes a lot of interesting points lol
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RljdJzA1nhk
Mon
P.S
I'm not saying you can't help people, I'm saying that you have a choice who you help and should prepare to take responsibility/accept the outcome accordingly. I know someone who seems a bit bitter about all that they gave to someone only to have the person up and leave. I can imagine that such a thing is painful, but I often think that when a person chooses to let someone in their life, it's a choice on their behalf, not something they are forced to do. I've had my share of let downs, but I walk into things with the mentality that if things start to hit the fan I know it's a path I chose and must see it through. It's not always easy, but the things that aren't easy teach us or strengthen us.
I simply say this to give sword and shields to the great fighting warriors of life. I know quite a few and I truly appreciate their great strength and determination. Great warriors like to be acknowledge, I believe, so this is for all the people out there trying their best and those who are doing all they can but don't feel it's enough, let it be known that your efforts are never in vain.
Keep up the good work! If I notice your strength, I'm sure plenty of others do. They just don't say anything :)
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Life updates + A few thoughts
It's official my finals week. Completely random, but I'm sure there are people who feel that their lives have more meaning when they're productive, right?
I feel like it's a benefit to feel this way, but also a sort of curse because if we're enjoying down time for an extended amount of time we feel unproductive and lazy. I'll say I certainly don't feel like I work TOO hard, but I don't like feeling as if I'm going to waste.
I find that my down time are simple times, or even a day where I would watch my favorite cartoon or movie, read a book or playing a video game. Things like learning a language can feel like a task to me! Actually, would that even be considered a leisure event? I guess the leisure comes from being able to communicate with people from different countries right? Also being able to enjoy the country in all it's luxuries could be nice if you understood what was being said.
Anyway, as I said it's finals week! What does this mean for my school and being an animation student? Well, throughout the week we are given either small assignments (such as modeling an item in 3D) which could lead to an even bigger project (a full scene using lots of modeled objects to populate the scene). It doesn't sound like a lot, but the workload can get crazy if a person decides to overdo it. Me? Well, I never overdo it. I guess that's why I don't feel as insane and sleep deprived as some of my classmates express in frustration. They're literally like bottles being tossed around until they're ready to explode and their minds spill over the top. I learned that this does not help me because I understand my limits. Some days I don't feel like doing much work, other days I have a lot of energy. I dedicate this working on small assignments.
I read this also in a book teaching how to write webcomics. The author mentioned taking on only as much as you can chew. So I decided to keep things simple.
So anyways, my finals consisted of 6 animations shorts, pretty simple but I still haven't completed them all, two of the animations are finals. The other final is completing objects for a game. I'm not all to crazy about the props in the game, but it's cool. It was a team project so I enjoyed that the most.
For the summer, omg, my head is going to explode because of all the possibilities, but I will literally tell myself to focus on one thing at a time. It has come to me that I'm a flip-flopper. I may never see something through in it's entirety because I'll move from one thing to another. So I decided to finish up the chapter I started for my webcomic this summer.
Then I'd like to focus on improving my 3D modeling skills. I'm shooting for the stars when I say to myself "and then I'll model a character! Then I'll rig it! Then I'll make this game, and oh man, it's gonna be awesome!!" because I can be a huge dreamer and an optimistic. I'd take on more than I can chew.
I've spent a lot of time not typing blogs because I've been re-evaluating myself and I've been wondering how I can improve myself by means of being able to keep things simple, but also do what I enjoy doing. I think it takes time to find an approach that can mend into old habits and improve them, but it's not impossible. So I've been doing that and the thought of typing a blog seemed more like a chore than a pasttime.
So I decided to stick to modeling very very basic characters. One thing I'd like to do is to become a better texture artist. Texturing objects is an art I haven't quite grasped yet. I'm trying to look at 3D modeling as an art form, rather than a strain on my brain. You see, at my school, often our assignments require us to do multiple things that a full production of different teams would do separately. So there would be a team of texture artist, a team of 3D modeler, a team of animators and so on and so forth, but for us students, we are required to do them all. I find this to be a very flawed way to do thing and it can even cause unnecessary pressure on certain students because they're trying to do something they just aren't capable of doing.
It's like putting a paralyzed person in a race.
Back to the point, even though I have all these things I'd like to do, I think I should stick to maybe 2 or three of them at most. No more than three. That way I can reap the complete benefit of the experience. Besides, I don't have to rush anything. If I can gain an 100 percent benefit of something, it will likely stay embedded in my mind rather than if I were to gain only 65 percent or less or the true benefit. It would be like taking piano class but not learning to read the sheet music or learn the sheet music without the piano. It defeats the purpose of the whole.
Whelps! I gotta get to work. :)
Mon
I feel like it's a benefit to feel this way, but also a sort of curse because if we're enjoying down time for an extended amount of time we feel unproductive and lazy. I'll say I certainly don't feel like I work TOO hard, but I don't like feeling as if I'm going to waste.
I find that my down time are simple times, or even a day where I would watch my favorite cartoon or movie, read a book or playing a video game. Things like learning a language can feel like a task to me! Actually, would that even be considered a leisure event? I guess the leisure comes from being able to communicate with people from different countries right? Also being able to enjoy the country in all it's luxuries could be nice if you understood what was being said.
Anyway, as I said it's finals week! What does this mean for my school and being an animation student? Well, throughout the week we are given either small assignments (such as modeling an item in 3D) which could lead to an even bigger project (a full scene using lots of modeled objects to populate the scene). It doesn't sound like a lot, but the workload can get crazy if a person decides to overdo it. Me? Well, I never overdo it. I guess that's why I don't feel as insane and sleep deprived as some of my classmates express in frustration. They're literally like bottles being tossed around until they're ready to explode and their minds spill over the top. I learned that this does not help me because I understand my limits. Some days I don't feel like doing much work, other days I have a lot of energy. I dedicate this working on small assignments.
I read this also in a book teaching how to write webcomics. The author mentioned taking on only as much as you can chew. So I decided to keep things simple.
So anyways, my finals consisted of 6 animations shorts, pretty simple but I still haven't completed them all, two of the animations are finals. The other final is completing objects for a game. I'm not all to crazy about the props in the game, but it's cool. It was a team project so I enjoyed that the most.
For the summer, omg, my head is going to explode because of all the possibilities, but I will literally tell myself to focus on one thing at a time. It has come to me that I'm a flip-flopper. I may never see something through in it's entirety because I'll move from one thing to another. So I decided to finish up the chapter I started for my webcomic this summer.
Then I'd like to focus on improving my 3D modeling skills. I'm shooting for the stars when I say to myself "and then I'll model a character! Then I'll rig it! Then I'll make this game, and oh man, it's gonna be awesome!!" because I can be a huge dreamer and an optimistic. I'd take on more than I can chew.
I've spent a lot of time not typing blogs because I've been re-evaluating myself and I've been wondering how I can improve myself by means of being able to keep things simple, but also do what I enjoy doing. I think it takes time to find an approach that can mend into old habits and improve them, but it's not impossible. So I've been doing that and the thought of typing a blog seemed more like a chore than a pasttime.
So I decided to stick to modeling very very basic characters. One thing I'd like to do is to become a better texture artist. Texturing objects is an art I haven't quite grasped yet. I'm trying to look at 3D modeling as an art form, rather than a strain on my brain. You see, at my school, often our assignments require us to do multiple things that a full production of different teams would do separately. So there would be a team of texture artist, a team of 3D modeler, a team of animators and so on and so forth, but for us students, we are required to do them all. I find this to be a very flawed way to do thing and it can even cause unnecessary pressure on certain students because they're trying to do something they just aren't capable of doing.
It's like putting a paralyzed person in a race.
Back to the point, even though I have all these things I'd like to do, I think I should stick to maybe 2 or three of them at most. No more than three. That way I can reap the complete benefit of the experience. Besides, I don't have to rush anything. If I can gain an 100 percent benefit of something, it will likely stay embedded in my mind rather than if I were to gain only 65 percent or less or the true benefit. It would be like taking piano class but not learning to read the sheet music or learn the sheet music without the piano. It defeats the purpose of the whole.
Whelps! I gotta get to work. :)
Mon
Tuesday, June 9, 2015
06/10/15
If I can make it to one thousand post, that would be awesome!
Thinking aloud here.
I'm sitting here, at midnight, knowing that I have class in the morning. Luckily it's my late class and it doesn't start until 3 p.m., but that's not the point lol
I remember when I was younger I use to say "I'm bored!" it was always "I'm bored! I'm bored! I'm bored!" I I I I I. Me me me me me
Well, nowadays it's not easy to cram everything I'm thinking into one day. Perhaps it's because I have more interest than I did as a kid. Also, I'm sure it's not just me, but don't you ever think "I was that kid. Wait. I AM that kid!!" I find myself thinking about myself as a young kid....and honestly I'm just a big kid....with a brain and life experience lol The only thing that truly grew was my body. That never equates to wisdom, or smart or anything.
Back to the point, despite the fact that I drew, played video games and read books as a kid, I think there's more opportunities when you're old enough to enjoy them. Such as social gatherings and such. It use to irk me to have to "leave the grown-ups" alone. Mainly because I always chatted with my teachers when I was in school. I connected to older people a lot easier than I could my peers. That's not to say I didn't have friends, it's just teachers weren't very petty :P
Anyway, I still do those things that I did as a kid, but as time progressed I've taken an interest in many other things. I think what I really meant was my life is so tiny. I mean think, how many of us as children, actually understood how huge this world is. I mean, there are pros to being an ignorant kid, because we don't quite comprehend the troubles or life, but there's also pros to being able to comprehend those things as well.
One thing I've found I've been doing lately is just watching. I don't know if I've come to lack empathy, but I've been viewing situations as situations and nothing else. I detach myself, in a way, from emotional ties to see a bigger picture. Doesn't mean I don't necessarily feel anything, I guess if anything it's more like I've seen the same situation so many times that it's gotten to the point where I'm more aware of how I WOULD or COULD feel during a situation.
I try to give myself some distance. This has made it a bit easier for me to focus on my schoolwork. :)
For good or bad, I can't say, but it's obviously helped me with something. Also, I've found that, more likely than never, I would subconsciously do things that will help me improve in someway. I would think "Oh geez! I'm lucky" and say my thanks lol I don't think life is all about luck or being in the right place.
Even things that would bother me before kind of make me laugh. I do still get irritated, but I don't get upset as often or frustrated. I pace myself. I think I got more frustrated with schoolwork and irritated with things I can't change. But these past few quarters have been great! I'm not sure if I've been pacing myself in a way that works for me, or if I've just been given easy classes with easygoing teachers. Well I definitely won't take it for granted and I say my thanks very often.
Well, I'm gonna head off now.
I'm gonna try to get to one thousand journal entries. Not sure how long it will take. I'll also just start typing whatever comes to my mind.
Mon
Thinking aloud here.
I'm sitting here, at midnight, knowing that I have class in the morning. Luckily it's my late class and it doesn't start until 3 p.m., but that's not the point lol
I remember when I was younger I use to say "I'm bored!" it was always "I'm bored! I'm bored! I'm bored!" I I I I I. Me me me me me
Well, nowadays it's not easy to cram everything I'm thinking into one day. Perhaps it's because I have more interest than I did as a kid. Also, I'm sure it's not just me, but don't you ever think "I was that kid. Wait. I AM that kid!!" I find myself thinking about myself as a young kid....and honestly I'm just a big kid....with a brain and life experience lol The only thing that truly grew was my body. That never equates to wisdom, or smart or anything.
Back to the point, despite the fact that I drew, played video games and read books as a kid, I think there's more opportunities when you're old enough to enjoy them. Such as social gatherings and such. It use to irk me to have to "leave the grown-ups" alone. Mainly because I always chatted with my teachers when I was in school. I connected to older people a lot easier than I could my peers. That's not to say I didn't have friends, it's just teachers weren't very petty :P
Anyway, I still do those things that I did as a kid, but as time progressed I've taken an interest in many other things. I think what I really meant was my life is so tiny. I mean think, how many of us as children, actually understood how huge this world is. I mean, there are pros to being an ignorant kid, because we don't quite comprehend the troubles or life, but there's also pros to being able to comprehend those things as well.
One thing I've found I've been doing lately is just watching. I don't know if I've come to lack empathy, but I've been viewing situations as situations and nothing else. I detach myself, in a way, from emotional ties to see a bigger picture. Doesn't mean I don't necessarily feel anything, I guess if anything it's more like I've seen the same situation so many times that it's gotten to the point where I'm more aware of how I WOULD or COULD feel during a situation.
I try to give myself some distance. This has made it a bit easier for me to focus on my schoolwork. :)
For good or bad, I can't say, but it's obviously helped me with something. Also, I've found that, more likely than never, I would subconsciously do things that will help me improve in someway. I would think "Oh geez! I'm lucky" and say my thanks lol I don't think life is all about luck or being in the right place.
Even things that would bother me before kind of make me laugh. I do still get irritated, but I don't get upset as often or frustrated. I pace myself. I think I got more frustrated with schoolwork and irritated with things I can't change. But these past few quarters have been great! I'm not sure if I've been pacing myself in a way that works for me, or if I've just been given easy classes with easygoing teachers. Well I definitely won't take it for granted and I say my thanks very often.
Well, I'm gonna head off now.
I'm gonna try to get to one thousand journal entries. Not sure how long it will take. I'll also just start typing whatever comes to my mind.
Mon
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