Juding

Hi!

I decided to blog today. Recently I've just been relaxing and I started working on a Victorian Lace blanket. It will be crocheted, so it will take time. I will post a picture when I'm done.

Anyway, I read an article about Nicki Minaj, yes the rapper, in which it stated things about her recently album and an abortion she had as a teenager. After reading the article I headed to my favorite section, the comment section.

Now, I'm all for people having an opinion about things. What I do find to be interestingly annoying are the judgement. I think somewhere along the line people don't quite understand the line between stating an opinion about something and judging someone. Most of the time they'll claim that they're just brutally honest.

Some of the things I read on there were things such as calling her a hoe, a slut and saying that she's not innocent and that she's evil. Most people would consider these people "haters." Regardless of what people call people who slam others for the choices they make, I can't help but wonder if they truly think themselves to be "innocent" or "perfect" people.

So I decided to do a bit of research about why people judge and also the difference between discernment and judging.

The first thing I found was this:

"The human mind was designed to fill gaps, we assume the intentions of people when we have missing information and this leads to incorrect judgement most of the time."

In this kind of situation I don't think the person doing the judging should not be responsible for incorrect judgement. Mainly because it's up to them to find out the truth rather than to make biased statements.

Yet, just because it's a natural ability for our minds to do this it doesn't mean we should just accept things our minds come up with.

What's interesting about this is that people are usually quick to assume that anything see in the media is true and they make assumptions about it. I'll admit I do believe my mind will instantly make assumptions, I won't pretend that it doesn't. I will also admit that I find myself saying things that I don't know are completely true. Afterwards I would think "Why the heck did I do that?" and I'd investigate my reasoning behind it. I found two things to be the possible reason:

1. Wanting to be seen as "right" or knowing about a certain topic. I think this has to do with making one's self feel good. It's a boost of confidence to know that you know something.

2. Not wanting to be wrong. I think the concept of the word wrong has led people to think that being wrong in a bad thing. My theory is because as we go to school and get graded on our homework and whatnot, we are marked as right or wrong. Of course during the 12 years (college not included) of having this drilled in our heads can do a number to us.

Yet I will always say that it's up to us on whether or not we want to move beyond this. I feel that people think that opinionated judgement are justified just because it's considered an opinion. Well, here's the thing. You likely have no idea what you're talking about.

I've kind of gotten tired of people judging others. I've kind of moved beyond it in a way. I don't hang around people who do it. I mean, what good does it to you to judge someone?

Anyway, getting back on topic. Discernment. I looked this word up a few months back to gain an understanding of it. There's a lot of definitions, but I'll go with this one:

Discernment is the ability to see and understand people, things, or situations clearly and intelligently.

Without any kind of researching (be it through questioning and getting an answer) most things we spit off are usually just our own made of conclusions. I think this causes hostility in the people being judged. I think it causes division between people.

I'll give an example. I have a friend who told me that she thought I was mean and stuck up. I'll tell you this, it is a natural thing for us to read the body language of people, more so than what we pick up from them verbally. Anyway, this friend goes on to tell me that she was dead wrong.

Now I will admit I may have a don't-bother-me look sometimes, but I exampled to her that it's when I'm thinking. I also take a while to warm up to people, but I'm usually, if not always, a goofy person. I enjoy being happy and I enjoy people being themselves without fear and worry that they can't be who they are around me.

No guy told me that he believes immature guys wouldn't gain my attention or try to talk to me because I carry myself in a no-none sense way. Interestingly enough, it may be true, but I give everyone a chance regardless.

Throughout everything I've been doing since the past two years, I decided that there's really no need not to be honest with myself. If I can't be honest with myself, than how can I consider myself to be an honest person? If I feel I'm passing judgments even in my thoughts I'll evaluate them.

Another reason we may judge is because we base it from our past experience. I can say that I believe this to be true. Most of the time if you watch or listen to someone who holds some kind of hostility about a certain thing or person, they will probably say something like "I've seen/heard/watched such and such happen myself."

Here's the thing, there are people out there breaking traditions and splitting boundaries. Things are changing and things have always been changing. If you don't believe this, look at what's been recording from history. Look at the eras that have pasted. Of course there are still people who want to hold true to those traditions. So be it. But I always feel that if something is meant to a thing of the past, it will be regardless of whether we want it to or not.

I know what it's like to have something that is truly liked and have it taken away and for me to keep thinking back on it. And this advice is coming from me. There will be new things. We will always find new interest. There is always something better.

As a kid I remember me and my sisters having lots of toys. Because we moved a lot, a lot of our toys were left behind. I was sad! I had a pink plastic seahorse toy that I would always carry around, but now I look at what I have now and I think those things don't matter anymore. The best thing that those things can give us are the memories.

The thing is never truly gone. It has left an everlasting impression on our hearts and in our minds never to be forgotten. I think that certain thing is worth appreciating for what it was and what it meant to us in our lives during that time, not that it isn't. Stop focusing on what isn't and what's not, and focus on what is and what can be. This is the most important thing,

Well, I'll cut this short. There are many more reasons people may judge. But know this, whether you want to continue to judge and bring people down, rather than to help lift people up as we are all living and breathing humans who share the same planet, this is up to you to choose. There's no rush of course. But know that you can make this choice at any minute or any second.

Mon