Hi!
So first I'd like to talk about the second part (that I have titled).
Yes, I have found a way to channel my annoyance, irritation etc, in a productive, yet helpful way. That way is:
DA DA DA DAAAAA!
Cleaning!! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°
Yes, one day my sister kind of annoyed me and I started cleaning. I felt it's productive and it helps me clear my head. Whenever I get upset I try not to argue, walk away or ignore the person. Then I'd take some time to figure out why I got angry. I seriously try not to argue as it's a waste of time. I do debate though, but after a while I just start humming or walk away lol
This is what I've decided to do until I can actually deal with it properly. So far I feel great! :3 I find that I'm good to talk after some time. All's forgiven. Overall I try not to blame the other person either because they're speaking from some emotions or they're speaking from some kind of miscommunication or misconception. I try to see it as they're not the cause of my anger, and I also realize that if I say something hurtful and regret it, that's my fault, not theirs.
A lot of time I type things here based on where my heart is truly at. I work pretty hard to align myself with this when doing things in life.
So yep! This is how I deal with it. Cleaning in my therapy and I was seriously thinking "what if I can't find something to clean?!" D: that would be horrible lol But usually when I'm angry or something it doesn't get that bad because I'll end up walking away. I try not to dwell on it either.
Hm...also sometime I've realized about myself as well is that when someone has repeatedly caused me some kind of harm or trouble, I find it comes up in my mind. Strange enough I'll still give to this person, but I feel that I don't need them as a part of my life. Sometimes I feel it's a naive way to feel, but it's just how I am. I can't "hate" someone, but I can dislike what they've done.
Next point!
My recent activities. So tomorrow I finally began my spring classes! I'm surprised the week didn't fly by so quickly. I've been working on organizing my thoughts for my webcomic, but still no actually pen to paper (ink and all that goodness). It was mainly be relaxing, playing a video game and catching up on new videos, movies, t.v. shows (things I don't quite allow myself to do, it's a shame lol but I'm doing it). The reason I try not to preoccupy so much time to t.v. is because I feel it's a waste of productivity. But I've come to see that I shouldn't deprive myself of leisure time and enjoy just relaxing for days.
I definitely feel I waste time if I'm not doing anything. Even during days when I watch a t.v. show (I only watch things on netflix and youtube though), I find that after an hour or two I feel so unproductive and I'll start working on something lol
Well, anyways, my class began tomorrow. I'm a bit excited because I'll be meeting a new teacher. Up until now I've had the same teacher. :) I'll also start working on my 2D animation when I can. So I'm looking forward to that as well.
I'm also (before coming here) reading about people recalling their past lives. Y'know, I have no idea what's up with our minds, but I seriously find myself thinking "how do they know this is true?" when in reality we shouldn't really look to other people to confirm our lives. Then we'd be living a life that someone else think is good for us. I don't mean the seeking advice kind of thing, but things such as "I had this dream, what do you think it means?"
You see, I don't always just accept what people tell me. I try to see if it "feels" right. And even then I'll even doubt myself sometimes. I'll question myself and say something like "how do you know YOU'RE right about doubting that person?"
It's become a thing where I just say "y'know what, screw it." because it's not like what that person thinks is hurting me. And chances are this is very true to them. So why should I take that away? Allow people to dream. Let them imagine. Hm....it's like I'm skeptical right? But I'll tell you that I do believe a lot of things existed that we can't quite comprehend as the truth at this point.
I don't know if I have a mind that is still programmed like people now, or if this is an internal things to not take things at face value. I don't quite feel the doubt, but I do question it. It's not that I don't believe them, I try to put the pieces together.
Oh that note, I decided to do another fun past life analysis. I have seriously took some time to read multiple ones from a lot of different websites! It's actually quite fun. It's based on the time, date, year, latitude, and longitude of a person's birth. And because no two people are the same, I figured that it's possible the information will kind of be different for each person.
Anyways, from all the different one's I have read, they sound kind of similar. *sighs* They all mention my sensitive, that I use my intuition to get me through life (I seriously have no idea if this is true lol because I seriously have no idea when I'm paying attention to it in the first place), that I'm a rebel (it seems I've had issues with authority figures in some of my past lives) and that I'm a revolutionist. And strange enough it tells me I should learn to act according to what I "feel" is right.Haha it seems my life is all about feeling. That I shouldn't doubt myself. I've seriously heard this quite a lot in my life this time around. It says "however deviant your views are", which means regardless of how differing they are to the mainstream.
Ahhhh~ It's so interesting. If I had to say, yes I believe in the rebel part lol Yes I've stood up to teachers before, especially if I feel like they were in the wrong. I don't know much about the intuition part, but maybe it's so natural to me that I'm searching for something I already use. A revolutionist, yeah, I dunno. And oh! It says I have a habit of blaming myself and feeling guilty on the inside....*reads above post* I can see that lol Are these flaws? Well, I don't think it's a bad thing, right?
I mean, it's better than pointing fingers at other people. I'm not in denial about my flaws, I seriously focus on those most because I want to improve those aspects. However, when someone tries to makes me feel guilty, I don't. I've learned to shrug them off. I'm starting to get over this hurdle, I definitely think so.
Ohhhh, and another thing this one mentions that another did was that I try to escape the real world!! D: *le gasp!!* They mention through substances. I am no on drugs lol This is why I don't want to spend so much time thinking too much about the spiritual side of life. I want to enjoy both the physical and the spiritual without any kind of guilt. It says something like how my escapism stifles my creative work flow O__o I have no idea what that means...I wonder if that's why I'm kind of in a rut now. I seriously have no idea what to do xD hahaha advice anyone? In one of the other one's I read it mentioned how I'm good with crafting things with my hands. Which is something that has to do with creating. Yes, I think so. Sometimes I just don't want to (which it mentions that I have this tendency too lol). I'm just like the horse zodiac. I will not do anything until I'm ready or want to (in other words I'm stubborn lol). See? I have loads of flaws.
I like to read these things to see if they match up with me :) It's so fun! But regardless of what I read I know I don't have to accept what any of it says. But I do like to take into account the information and advice, such as what I can do to help improve myself. Mehehehe (｡･｀ω´･｡)
When I think of life in this way, as a seeking issues, flaws and improving kind of thing, it makes things interesting and exciting.
Ohhh, and there are some parts in here I just don't get, such as:
"You have taken obstacles for granted. You have lost the will to fight. You have the sense of logic to identify the needful, the rationality to judge the right. You just need the capability to act according to what you think to be just."
Like, what does that mean? lol Is it possible to take issues for granted? How is that possible? The will to fight, I understand this part. And the other two sentences I see this has meaning I have good judgement. Hm...I guess it's true. I dunno lol maybe that's what it means.
Well, that's all for now lol this blog can go no forever. If you'd like to try a past life analysis as well, here is the link:
http://www.astrologycircle.com/past-life-analysis/
Please try it out :) it's pretty fun. I got a friend of mines interested in this (past life stuff).
Mon
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