Communication is key

It's become very apparent why communication is important in life.

The day before yesterday I called a friend of mines from high school (it was so nice to hear from her after so long!). She told me about an incident that occurred between her and a co-worker. My friend mentioned something about how things weren't going so well and she was a little stressed. Her co-worker got upset and didn't want to talk to her. My friend ended up apologizing. Of course I repeated what she told me to make sure I understood correctly and she said that I repeated it back corrected. I was confused lol I didn't understand why my friend had to apologize. I thought it was neither of their faults. She told me that her co-worker said that what she said hurt her. I don't know if she elaborated any farther, but I kind of understand apologizing for making someone feel uncomfortable, but besides that I don't think my friend did anything wrong besides state her difficulties at home O__o so I found that weird.

It's strange, but for something that comes so natural to us, we tend to neglect it the most, and that is communicating. We have it, yet we don't seem to use it as best as we can. I wonder if we truly understand what it means to speak. Maybe truly speaking isn't based on fear or anger or hate. I think we have to have an open heart. By this I mean that in order to understand what someone else is saying, we have to put our beliefs and personal feelings to the side to truly be in their shoes.

For some reason, it seems so tough! For example, if someone wants to argue, it's best to give them space to calm down, right? If someone were to argue with some people, wouldn't they argue back, or some might even back down. I can't speak for myself in this situation lol but I do loo at these things and I tell myself "this is what I'd like to be in that situation!"

Being anything is possible, it's just taking the necessary steps to accomplishing it. I dunno, but I'm tried of being the one who takes things personally. I tried of being defensive and trying to get my point across. I'm not saying I hate these things, it's just that I'd like to add on, to try something different.

Rather than telling people "I should do...." or "you should've...." I find it better to tell myself that and lead by example. It's better than to show someone that you can lead by what you say, rather than say something and not experience it. Such as understanding someone. If someone yells I'd like to listen to them. If I take out the yelling,not take the personally, and just listen, are they saying anything? Or are they just whining?

Sometimes some people will be whining and complaining? And in that situation I think of a baby in need of attention. Some people may feel self-sufficient and yet they may feel deep inside that they truly have no one who understands. I hold nothing against people who feel this way. It's  all about knowing that there are people there. Sometimes we just feel lonely. I say just feel it and don't sulk in it. If it's prolonged then it's possible you should find someone to speak to.

The saddest thing I find that exist is the amount of people we feel we can truly trust and speak to. But I guess if everyone were on the same page life would be...well, unexciting. Somehow we need a bit of chaos to understand. We need people to disagree with us to truly know what we like and dislike. It seems that they're bad, but they're a gate opening to us understanding ourselves a bit more.

Thinking of life in  this way makes dealing with people a bit better. When I think that in some way we're connected, than I understand that a person sitting next to me on a bus is similar to me in the way that they're living and learning. If I take myself out of myself and place it next to me, I imagine what I need in order to grow.

In a blog I either posted or didn't get around to posting, I mentioned how I don't feel the need to be involved with people all the time. It sounded harsh, but no. In the past I wanted to help as much as I can. I still do, but not where I feel like I should neglect my own life and way of living to take care of someone else. If I do something I want to do it because I want to. I want to do something when I know that I can and able. Not because someone else wants me to. I think it's about knowing yourself when you can truly say "I can do that!" knowing your limits.

Also, sometimes some people will want you there because you make things easy for them. Teach them, but don't do everything for them. Be there, but don't do their work for them. Some people are caretakers, I applaud those people. Sometimes some people are just meant to be something, and some aren't suppose to be in other times.

For me I feel I have to find a balance between helping others and making sure to take care of myself. I love helping others, don't get me wrong, I feel uplifted when someone is feeling better. But I think it becomes a problem when I neglect my own learning at the expense of others. I'm not saying I will ever help others, no. But I'm going to be more careful of choosing the people I help. As I mentioned, there are people who whine and claim they need help. There are people who are persuasive enough to make you feel guilty if you don't help them. I think being persuasive is a  very great skill, but it depends on how a person uses that skill.

All of this ties into having skills and learning how to use them to your best ability! I think a lot of people are just testing out what they have (the same as me!). We learn things in life, and we use them. What's seems a little off is that we use them on one another lol it's like "hey look, I learned a new trick, wanna see?" lol

Anyways, I feel if we talked (and I mean TALK) about how we really feel, what's bugging us, etc, it would make these easier on ourselves. Also, I think if we look at what's bugging us and see if it's important or not, then we can determine if we should drop it or not. Let's say, for example, a co-worker ate your lunch sandwich yesterday. They apologized and explained that they didn't know it was yours. Some people would think the person is lying (we are a paranoid bunch who can't trust lol). You bring in a giant box of pizza and that same co-worker makes their way to grab a slice. You instantly remember what they did. You can either let it go (most people would call this being weak lol), or tell them not to eat any and go buy their own.

The second one sounds very childish to me. But I can seriously imagine this being a very bit issue to some people. But here's why it's childish to me, the sandwich is already digested. It doesn't exist anymore, and neither should the grudge against that person.

Most people would probably say "because it was mine! They knew it was mines and they ate it anyways! So why should I share!"

Doesn't that sound childish lol Most people may not even realize how they sound. From there you can choose to have bad blood between you and that co-worker, or just talk it over with them and let it go. It's easy to get angry over small things. Perhaps you've had problems with this co-worker before. Talk to them! There's more behind just you being angry over the sandwich. Perhaps you had no more money and you wanted the person to just buy you another. Perhaps you didn't like the person and they did something to annoy you.

For me personally I just try to squash bad blood. Why linger? It's a waste of time and energy. If you really dislike someone but have to work with them, keep it only business between you too. If they say something you like, don't engage with them, just walk away.

I think this is what it means to choose your battles wisely. Some things just do not need a reply or your attention! This is why we deplete of energy so quickly. If someone argues with you but they just want to be right, then so be it. I've been dealing with this for a while, and now it just makes me chuckle on the inside. At first it's tough because it's annoying, but do realize that none of what they're feeling really has nothing to do with you. You're not arguing, they are. You're not saying anything, they are. They think they're winning by making claims, maybe in their own world, but from the outside, they my look like a fool to others. They're making all the noise. In a silent way, you're winning because you're not wasting energy. You may be annoyed, but just breath.

There are more important things in the world. But we choose what those important things will be.

We seriously have a choice. You have a choice now! You have/had a choice to read this. You have/had the choice to close this tab or it the backspace. You have/had the choice to choose to even consider this. Choices aren't just in the form of actions, but thoughts and intentions as well. The most important is intentions. Because without intentions there would probably be no reaction or action.

I dare you to try it lol try communicating how you feel. It may feel strange at first. It may seem like being weak. But over time you'll realize something different is happening.

Mon