It's become very apparent why communication is important in life.
The day before yesterday I called a friend of mines from high school (it was so nice to hear from her after so long!). She told me about an incident that occurred between her and a co-worker. My friend mentioned something about how things weren't going so well and she was a little stressed. Her co-worker got upset and didn't want to talk to her. My friend ended up apologizing. Of course I repeated what she told me to make sure I understood correctly and she said that I repeated it back corrected. I was confused lol I didn't understand why my friend had to apologize. I thought it was neither of their faults. She told me that her co-worker said that what she said hurt her. I don't know if she elaborated any farther, but I kind of understand apologizing for making someone feel uncomfortable, but besides that I don't think my friend did anything wrong besides state her difficulties at home O__o so I found that weird.
It's strange, but for something that comes so natural to us, we tend to neglect it the most, and that is communicating. We have it, yet we don't seem to use it as best as we can. I wonder if we truly understand what it means to speak. Maybe truly speaking isn't based on fear or anger or hate. I think we have to have an open heart. By this I mean that in order to understand what someone else is saying, we have to put our beliefs and personal feelings to the side to truly be in their shoes.
For some reason, it seems so tough! For example, if someone wants to argue, it's best to give them space to calm down, right? If someone were to argue with some people, wouldn't they argue back, or some might even back down. I can't speak for myself in this situation lol but I do loo at these things and I tell myself "this is what I'd like to be in that situation!"
Being anything is possible, it's just taking the necessary steps to accomplishing it. I dunno, but I'm tried of being the one who takes things personally. I tried of being defensive and trying to get my point across. I'm not saying I hate these things, it's just that I'd like to add on, to try something different.
Rather than telling people "I should do...." or "you should've...." I find it better to tell myself that and lead by example. It's better than to show someone that you can lead by what you say, rather than say something and not experience it. Such as understanding someone. If someone yells I'd like to listen to them. If I take out the yelling,not take the personally, and just listen, are they saying anything? Or are they just whining?
Sometimes some people will be whining and complaining? And in that situation I think of a baby in need of attention. Some people may feel self-sufficient and yet they may feel deep inside that they truly have no one who understands. I hold nothing against people who feel this way. It's all about knowing that there are people there. Sometimes we just feel lonely. I say just feel it and don't sulk in it. If it's prolonged then it's possible you should find someone to speak to.
The saddest thing I find that exist is the amount of people we feel we can truly trust and speak to. But I guess if everyone were on the same page life would be...well, unexciting. Somehow we need a bit of chaos to understand. We need people to disagree with us to truly know what we like and dislike. It seems that they're bad, but they're a gate opening to us understanding ourselves a bit more.
Thinking of life in this way makes dealing with people a bit better. When I think that in some way we're connected, than I understand that a person sitting next to me on a bus is similar to me in the way that they're living and learning. If I take myself out of myself and place it next to me, I imagine what I need in order to grow.
In a blog I either posted or didn't get around to posting, I mentioned how I don't feel the need to be involved with people all the time. It sounded harsh, but no. In the past I wanted to help as much as I can. I still do, but not where I feel like I should neglect my own life and way of living to take care of someone else. If I do something I want to do it because I want to. I want to do something when I know that I can and able. Not because someone else wants me to. I think it's about knowing yourself when you can truly say "I can do that!" knowing your limits.
Also, sometimes some people will want you there because you make things easy for them. Teach them, but don't do everything for them. Be there, but don't do their work for them. Some people are caretakers, I applaud those people. Sometimes some people are just meant to be something, and some aren't suppose to be in other times.
For me I feel I have to find a balance between helping others and making sure to take care of myself. I love helping others, don't get me wrong, I feel uplifted when someone is feeling better. But I think it becomes a problem when I neglect my own learning at the expense of others. I'm not saying I will ever help others, no. But I'm going to be more careful of choosing the people I help. As I mentioned, there are people who whine and claim they need help. There are people who are persuasive enough to make you feel guilty if you don't help them. I think being persuasive is a very great skill, but it depends on how a person uses that skill.
All of this ties into having skills and learning how to use them to your best ability! I think a lot of people are just testing out what they have (the same as me!). We learn things in life, and we use them. What's seems a little off is that we use them on one another lol it's like "hey look, I learned a new trick, wanna see?" lol
Anyways, I feel if we talked (and I mean TALK) about how we really feel, what's bugging us, etc, it would make these easier on ourselves. Also, I think if we look at what's bugging us and see if it's important or not, then we can determine if we should drop it or not. Let's say, for example, a co-worker ate your lunch sandwich yesterday. They apologized and explained that they didn't know it was yours. Some people would think the person is lying (we are a paranoid bunch who can't trust lol). You bring in a giant box of pizza and that same co-worker makes their way to grab a slice. You instantly remember what they did. You can either let it go (most people would call this being weak lol), or tell them not to eat any and go buy their own.
The second one sounds very childish to me. But I can seriously imagine this being a very bit issue to some people. But here's why it's childish to me, the sandwich is already digested. It doesn't exist anymore, and neither should the grudge against that person.
Most people would probably say "because it was mine! They knew it was mines and they ate it anyways! So why should I share!"
Doesn't that sound childish lol Most people may not even realize how they sound. From there you can choose to have bad blood between you and that co-worker, or just talk it over with them and let it go. It's easy to get angry over small things. Perhaps you've had problems with this co-worker before. Talk to them! There's more behind just you being angry over the sandwich. Perhaps you had no more money and you wanted the person to just buy you another. Perhaps you didn't like the person and they did something to annoy you.
For me personally I just try to squash bad blood. Why linger? It's a waste of time and energy. If you really dislike someone but have to work with them, keep it only business between you too. If they say something you like, don't engage with them, just walk away.
I think this is what it means to choose your battles wisely. Some things just do not need a reply or your attention! This is why we deplete of energy so quickly. If someone argues with you but they just want to be right, then so be it. I've been dealing with this for a while, and now it just makes me chuckle on the inside. At first it's tough because it's annoying, but do realize that none of what they're feeling really has nothing to do with you. You're not arguing, they are. You're not saying anything, they are. They think they're winning by making claims, maybe in their own world, but from the outside, they my look like a fool to others. They're making all the noise. In a silent way, you're winning because you're not wasting energy. You may be annoyed, but just breath.
There are more important things in the world. But we choose what those important things will be.
We seriously have a choice. You have a choice now! You have/had a choice to read this. You have/had the choice to close this tab or it the backspace. You have/had the choice to choose to even consider this. Choices aren't just in the form of actions, but thoughts and intentions as well. The most important is intentions. Because without intentions there would probably be no reaction or action.
I dare you to try it lol try communicating how you feel. It may feel strange at first. It may seem like being weak. But over time you'll realize something different is happening.
Mon
Monday, April 28, 2014
Sunday, April 27, 2014
Organization
Hi!
So today I'm starting to feel a bit overwhelmed. I'm starting to think ahead on all of the work I have to do.In this situation I feel it's best to write about it and how I'll go about dealing with it. After all, there's no better way to write a good blog than to actually be experiencing it. Of course I find that actually completing what I speak of here is important. That's the most important step: taking action!
At the moment it's a bit difficult to think because my mom has the music downstairs playing very very loud. It's very very frustrating because I can't quite think and I also have homework. It doesn't matter because something like this will make living alone for the first time, that much sweeter! haha
Anyways, when I'm feeling overwhelmed, I'd just take a break. If I'm in class I'll just step out. If I can't step out I'll just stop what I'm doing and just try to clear my mind. I find that this is key to keeping your cool. Find a place to go and breath. For me, the perfect thing to do would be to take a walk and get away from the noise. At my previous home going to the library worked for me.
Next, decide which task will take less time and which task will take the longest amount of time. In this situation I often like to do the shortest first and throughout the day do pieces of the longer task while taking mini breaks in between. These are tiny breathers.
The thing is to not give up! I find that it's easy to give up, but imagine yourself having complete it already. Also, if you complete one task you're already halfway there. For some reason it always seems like an impossibly long time to complete just one task, but the feeling of having complete all the task for the day is great! It's like you can finally breath.
The thing to do, when you have what needs to be done listed, is put them into action. Sometimes we have to do basic things in order to actually understand the more intermediate material.
For example, I would really like to learn different languages to communicate with people in their on language and actually understand them. In order to learn anything I have to start small. It's the most boring part, but it must be done. But what helps me is when I think about a baby/child and how they take a simple English class and constantly writing the same word again and again.
One thing I find interesting is that we often learn to speak before we learn to read and write. But that's because we're surrounded by the language. Oh! Another thing I found out recently is that we have this thing called a 'glottis' which help us with the development and creation of speech. I figured that something like this is used differently (to produce different sounds) for different languages.
Well, I can't type more now. I can't focus very well when it's noisy. So I'll write a part two. If there are some strange sentences, I apologize.
Mon
So today I'm starting to feel a bit overwhelmed. I'm starting to think ahead on all of the work I have to do.In this situation I feel it's best to write about it and how I'll go about dealing with it. After all, there's no better way to write a good blog than to actually be experiencing it. Of course I find that actually completing what I speak of here is important. That's the most important step: taking action!
At the moment it's a bit difficult to think because my mom has the music downstairs playing very very loud. It's very very frustrating because I can't quite think and I also have homework. It doesn't matter because something like this will make living alone for the first time, that much sweeter! haha
Anyways, when I'm feeling overwhelmed, I'd just take a break. If I'm in class I'll just step out. If I can't step out I'll just stop what I'm doing and just try to clear my mind. I find that this is key to keeping your cool. Find a place to go and breath. For me, the perfect thing to do would be to take a walk and get away from the noise. At my previous home going to the library worked for me.
Next, decide which task will take less time and which task will take the longest amount of time. In this situation I often like to do the shortest first and throughout the day do pieces of the longer task while taking mini breaks in between. These are tiny breathers.
The thing is to not give up! I find that it's easy to give up, but imagine yourself having complete it already. Also, if you complete one task you're already halfway there. For some reason it always seems like an impossibly long time to complete just one task, but the feeling of having complete all the task for the day is great! It's like you can finally breath.
The thing to do, when you have what needs to be done listed, is put them into action. Sometimes we have to do basic things in order to actually understand the more intermediate material.
For example, I would really like to learn different languages to communicate with people in their on language and actually understand them. In order to learn anything I have to start small. It's the most boring part, but it must be done. But what helps me is when I think about a baby/child and how they take a simple English class and constantly writing the same word again and again.
One thing I find interesting is that we often learn to speak before we learn to read and write. But that's because we're surrounded by the language. Oh! Another thing I found out recently is that we have this thing called a 'glottis' which help us with the development and creation of speech. I figured that something like this is used differently (to produce different sounds) for different languages.
Well, I can't type more now. I can't focus very well when it's noisy. So I'll write a part two. If there are some strange sentences, I apologize.
Mon
Saturday, April 26, 2014
Someday I'll answer that age old question!
Hi!
So I should really go to sleep soon. Somehow I ended up answering questions on yahoo answer (it's become a random thing for me to pass some time!).
The age old question I'd like to answer if "what is beauty"
You see, the funny thing about philosophy is that the questions being asked are usually things based on personal preference. In order to truly understand the answer, we'd have to go through life asking everyone and getting their answer because everyone is different. We can't make a factual statement until we examine every piece of life!
Orrrr, we can investigate it and come to a decent conclusion, a kind of closure for ourselves.
For philosophers, I've read that they're not necessarily looking for answers. I think they're looking for questions. The moments there's an answer, there's another question. When there's a fact, the fun is gone lol Imagine if before you asked a question you knew the answer. It's no fun without something to chase.
So rather than saying I'll ANSWER this question, I'll elaborate or....hm....I'll give some insight. Yes, insight is a good word.
Thinking about it, the question isn't so vast now that I think about it. If I take this question and limit it down to what people chase when they claim something is beautiful, I'm sure there's some common ground. I'm sure it's possible! Just wait for it. :)
Mon
So I should really go to sleep soon. Somehow I ended up answering questions on yahoo answer (it's become a random thing for me to pass some time!).
The age old question I'd like to answer if "what is beauty"
You see, the funny thing about philosophy is that the questions being asked are usually things based on personal preference. In order to truly understand the answer, we'd have to go through life asking everyone and getting their answer because everyone is different. We can't make a factual statement until we examine every piece of life!
Orrrr, we can investigate it and come to a decent conclusion, a kind of closure for ourselves.
For philosophers, I've read that they're not necessarily looking for answers. I think they're looking for questions. The moments there's an answer, there's another question. When there's a fact, the fun is gone lol Imagine if before you asked a question you knew the answer. It's no fun without something to chase.
So rather than saying I'll ANSWER this question, I'll elaborate or....hm....I'll give some insight. Yes, insight is a good word.
Thinking about it, the question isn't so vast now that I think about it. If I take this question and limit it down to what people chase when they claim something is beautiful, I'm sure there's some common ground. I'm sure it's possible! Just wait for it. :)
Mon
Thursday, April 24, 2014
The Enchiridion + class work
Hi!
A few days ago, while reading this Ethics book, I came across an interesting passage. The title if The Enchiridion and in it the writer talks about only controlling what you have, what is your, and not trying to control what's out of your control. This is a pretty interesting concept.
But there is one passage which interested me the most. It goes:
"With regards to whatever objects give you delight, are useful, or deeply loved, remember to tell yourself of what general nature they are, beginning from the most insignificant things. If, for example, you are fond of a specific ceramic cup, remind yourself that it is only ceramic cups in general of which you are fond. Then, if it breaks, you will not be disturbed. If you kiss your child, of wife, say that you only kiss things which are human, and thus, you will not be disturbed if either of them dies."
I've never actually read this particular piece, even when I took Ethics, so I found this very interesting. If I'm not mistaken, this was the time after the death of Plato and Socrates. What I find interesting is that, even during that time, people were still learning to cope with things like this. In this way, it makes me realize that humans haven't really changed at all. We still worry about things.
Well, I'm kind of tired. @__@ I've been swamped with homework almost every week (it's only week 3 D:). It's not so SO bad, but I'm managing to get things complete. I think, mainly, it's all about telling yourself you can definitely do it. You see, for these assignments the deadlines come very quickly. In this one particular class I the teacher wants to see our original creativity. Of course, it seems to have always been this way. But my ideas are usually more elaborate than what I can do in the programs provided.
I say elaborate in the way that it's usually the more time consuming way, or it would be difficult to do, kind of way. But I don't think it's impossible, just time consuming. However, I'm trying to push myself to complete them! How can I showcase my ideas if I never complete them? How can I show my ideas if I never try. In the past it was this way. Where I would have this great idea, but I could never complete it because I didn't have enough time. I would want to give up. I'd think "What's the point!" because I would never get to complete it.
Not this time. I'll try to do as much as I can. Because an idea if something which is intangible, I feel no one will be able to reach it unless I show them as best as I can. It's not to be the best, but to present what I see in my mind. Because no one else may have the exact same thoughts as me, or present something the same as I do, then I feel it's necessary :) If I don't do it, no one can see it.
But I think I'm tried because I have red curtains in my room. It cast a very soft and warm light into my room. I often have to open them to let some light in.
Ahhh~ but spring is finally here. It's still cold sometimes. But the flowers and leaves on the trees are starting to sprout. I take that as a clear indicator despite the cold temperatures.
Overall, I'm trying to take things one day at a time. Trying not to sweat the small things. And if something doesn't go right the first time, I want to try again. You know, I don't actually remember what I'm suppose to be working on this year. I try to improve something, be it my sleeping habits or putting forth more effort, I seriously can't recall what this year is suppose to center around!
Hm....well I guess being more understanding when I'm trying to work would be helpful.
Well, that's all for now. I started watching this movie called Girl, Interrupted on netflix. I've never seen it before, but I do believe I may have passed the t.v. screen while it was playing on television because I remember seeing Angelina Jolie with blond hair. Anyways, so far it's pretty interesting lol although I'm only 21 minutes into the movie. I added it to my list maybe a month ago.
So I'm going to get back to the movie and then do some homework later.
Mon
A few days ago, while reading this Ethics book, I came across an interesting passage. The title if The Enchiridion and in it the writer talks about only controlling what you have, what is your, and not trying to control what's out of your control. This is a pretty interesting concept.
But there is one passage which interested me the most. It goes:
"With regards to whatever objects give you delight, are useful, or deeply loved, remember to tell yourself of what general nature they are, beginning from the most insignificant things. If, for example, you are fond of a specific ceramic cup, remind yourself that it is only ceramic cups in general of which you are fond. Then, if it breaks, you will not be disturbed. If you kiss your child, of wife, say that you only kiss things which are human, and thus, you will not be disturbed if either of them dies."
I've never actually read this particular piece, even when I took Ethics, so I found this very interesting. If I'm not mistaken, this was the time after the death of Plato and Socrates. What I find interesting is that, even during that time, people were still learning to cope with things like this. In this way, it makes me realize that humans haven't really changed at all. We still worry about things.
Well, I'm kind of tired. @__@ I've been swamped with homework almost every week (it's only week 3 D:). It's not so SO bad, but I'm managing to get things complete. I think, mainly, it's all about telling yourself you can definitely do it. You see, for these assignments the deadlines come very quickly. In this one particular class I the teacher wants to see our original creativity. Of course, it seems to have always been this way. But my ideas are usually more elaborate than what I can do in the programs provided.
I say elaborate in the way that it's usually the more time consuming way, or it would be difficult to do, kind of way. But I don't think it's impossible, just time consuming. However, I'm trying to push myself to complete them! How can I showcase my ideas if I never complete them? How can I show my ideas if I never try. In the past it was this way. Where I would have this great idea, but I could never complete it because I didn't have enough time. I would want to give up. I'd think "What's the point!" because I would never get to complete it.
Not this time. I'll try to do as much as I can. Because an idea if something which is intangible, I feel no one will be able to reach it unless I show them as best as I can. It's not to be the best, but to present what I see in my mind. Because no one else may have the exact same thoughts as me, or present something the same as I do, then I feel it's necessary :) If I don't do it, no one can see it.
But I think I'm tried because I have red curtains in my room. It cast a very soft and warm light into my room. I often have to open them to let some light in.
Ahhh~ but spring is finally here. It's still cold sometimes. But the flowers and leaves on the trees are starting to sprout. I take that as a clear indicator despite the cold temperatures.
Overall, I'm trying to take things one day at a time. Trying not to sweat the small things. And if something doesn't go right the first time, I want to try again. You know, I don't actually remember what I'm suppose to be working on this year. I try to improve something, be it my sleeping habits or putting forth more effort, I seriously can't recall what this year is suppose to center around!
Hm....well I guess being more understanding when I'm trying to work would be helpful.
Well, that's all for now. I started watching this movie called Girl, Interrupted on netflix. I've never seen it before, but I do believe I may have passed the t.v. screen while it was playing on television because I remember seeing Angelina Jolie with blond hair. Anyways, so far it's pretty interesting lol although I'm only 21 minutes into the movie. I added it to my list maybe a month ago.
So I'm going to get back to the movie and then do some homework later.
Mon
Friday, April 18, 2014
I wonder....
I'm reading about a woman's personal experience with having an OBE after an incident (she didn't explain what happened).
She typed this:
"One of the first things I experienced once I was “out” of my body was seeing myself as I used to be, in former lives. Yeah, I know. Reincarnation is real. The purpose of it is that you need to have a variety of experiences, as different people in different circumstances, in order to achieve well-rounded growth. Think about it: if you believe that God is all-loving, you will acknowledge that it’s not fair that some people in this life are “privileged” and some have to suffer so. The concept of “heaven or hell” and “judgment day” in Western culture is really more or less just to make people behave. If everyone knew that they’d just move on to another experience, rather than be banished to hell if they do something that doesn’t follow a rule, they wouldn’t be as compelled to do what’s right."
That's seriously interesting! I think religions are good for some things, such as inspiring actors that don't cause harm and doing what's so-called "right", it's kind of like a tool. Hm...it's very difficult for me to explain,but I guess I'll speak bluntly for a second. What I'm going to say comes from the feeling I get from "some" people in religion.
Not all people who are religious or religious nutjobs! Yes, there are some. Some people who are religious actually have their own mind outside of that religion, which is some kind of interesting beyond it.
You see, in the past I use to go to a Baptist church. But claiming a religion just isn't for me. I'm not atheist as I believe in a Creator (I don't feel it's necessary to capitalize that either lol but I do for the sake of others). If I were to say I believe in God, it would be a different idea of the one that others believe. In a way, it is something personal to me (my relationship with this being) in the way that this being is interpreted to me. I do not believe in this god that everyone makes to be hateful and seeking revenge on humankind. I do find a few stories in the bible to be interesting. But to me, that's all they are.
I don't think people are wrong for believing them. I do find them funny. But it's the same thing with people who believe in dragons. I don't think they're wrong for believing in them, I think it's funny though. I do believe there may have been certain people who experienced certain things and they became stories in the bible (be in through some kind of spiritual journey or whatever), but the fact is that bible has been changed so much, I find it difficult to believe. To me, the bible should be something that doesn't need to be changed, as it's events placed in it based on a person's personal experience and (I would hope) written by that person.
When an account of one's personal life is changed (they change the information) it makes me uncertain. For history, something like this is understandable, as I understand that some information may be incorrect or there's some new finding. But if these are first-hand encounters, and written as they were, I would hope there wouldn't need to be any changes.
For example, imagine if I write that I woke up, had an apple, then went to bed. Now imagine I take that information and rewrite it and say: "I woke up, had a pear, went to the store, spoke to so and so. blah blah blah and took a nap", I would wonder "which is true!?" Even the information as been changed. Imagine that happening multiple times.After years of this, you can see how my simple message would've been changed.
However, I do understand if people like the moral principles of it. That's cool. I don't care. But I can't tolerate people who want to shove their religion down my throat lol
Anyways, this is way beyond the point. I'm thinking now that obviously religion exist for a reason. I wonder if it's for souls who may feel compelled to steer on a previous path, but they look to religion for guidance. It's like, a guidance structure. Some people don't need it. Some people just use it as a tool. And some people may even like the idea of just having it around. Either way, it exist for some reason. It helps people, regardless of what religion it is. But, I wonder if for younger souls (I actually read there aren't any new NEW souls being created. I have no idea if that's true :/) who are just getting the hang of living on Earth.
Thanks to that lady's post! If it wasn't for her I wouldn't have considered that.
Mon
Sleep paralysis! A possible trip
Hi everyone!!
So I wanted to actually write about a passage from an Ethics book I'm reading, but since I'm nearing my sleep time, I decided to write about my personal experience with sleep paralysis instead!
Thinking back on it, I thought a lot of my sleep paralysis were caused by the accident/incident I was in during middle school. But I do have a few vague idea of dreams that I've had as a child (actually it's more vivid because I can actually recall a few of my childhood dreams!).
In one instance I can recall I had went to my mom's room (I was about between the age 6 and possibly 8) after having a dream that our house cat had attacked me with shark like teeth beneath deep snow. The dream was a bit eerie which is why I can recall it to this day. Anyways, I went to her room to sleep in her bed, and as I started to doze off I remember constantly seeing the faces of dead Presidents. Now, this was strange because I wondered if I were asleep or awake and did this lol I believe I was asleep because my mom didn't ask me what I was doing.
Recently I haven't had many encounters with sleep paralysis. But during a very stressful time in high school (I think I can say this was due to stress) I had it constantly. So much to the point where I was afraid to sleep! It's like being awake, but still seeing dream fragments. For example, having your eyes opened, not being able to move or speak (even breathing seems difficult has it feels as if the chest if heavy **in my case**) and seeing people walking around the room.
Because it was so common for me during that time I can feel when it will happen. I'll start to feel really drowsy and want to take a nap. Often when I'm drowsy I know it will likely happen.
Hm...think of it this way, have you ever kicked a leg up in your sleep. This is what it feels like to come back! But now when it happens, I just ease myself back into my waking state and shrug it off lol
I read that this feeling is also similar to the feeling one gets for astral projecting. Personally the feeling is still very uncomfortable lol Because for me I'm still stuck in my head, but my body won't move lol During those times I'll often hear things, such as my family members talking (or I'll contribute it to them talking).
This happened maybe a few weeks ago (my earliest encounter). It was during a nap and I was feeling sleepy. I'll be honest, I often contribute this suddenly sleepy feeling to me being called on or something. It's just the feeling I get. I probably am being contacted. I never try to remember for what reason. But if I had to say my deepest feeling is of helping people. It's never huge groups, it's either a small group, or sitting with one person. I think I just talk with them. Like advice giving or something.
When I first experienced sleep paralysis I was seriously freaked! My mom told me it was the devil :/ Nice way to make me feel better lol Although, even at that time I didn't quite believe that, I was still terrified.
I've had an incident where I was fighting someone from putting my blanket and sheets over me because it was so hot. Or when I just laid in bed staring and my body feeling very heavy and I would try to call out to my siblings to wake me up! It's really frustrating lol
On one very interesting occasion I had experienced it and thought my eyes were partially opened. My younger sister walks into the room and I try to move thinking she was just a dream figure. I try to bring myself back (I often try to bring back the sensation in my fingers or move something slowly. Jerky motions do not help lol slow and steady is best) and then started to blink slowly.She ran out of my room lol I realized I wasn't dreaming hahahaha I had my eyes wide opened. She thought something was wrong with me.
Anyways, if this feeling is seriously associated with OBE, I don't know how to completely leave my body. I've read experiences, and I think the only thing I would do is read or something anyways lol That or speak with my guides. I'd like to take a look at the record book of all life events. That would be interesting too. lol It would be like visiting an museum. Besides that I don't know what else I would do. Possibly get advice. I dunno, I guess it would depend on how I feel during the time.
They say relax into this feeling but how could someone relax into having no feeling in their body. You see, I feel very connected to oxygen lol The feeling of not breathing is a bit strange to me lol I experience that my chest if getting heavy as it, losing the sensation. I honestly like my body! Lol I like the sensations of the senses xDD They make me happy! xD I know that it's only a physical body, but goodness.
I have tried mentally preparing myself to astral project, only to find I've fallen asleep. I think the best time to try this would be when I get that feeling of being drowsy. It happens naturally. Oh! I also read that sleep paralysis can happen upon either the soul leaving/returning to the body and the brain responding before the body does.
I won't lie, it's a little foreign at first, but I think with experience it can become easier.
You see, this is why I'm often convinced I do things when I think I'm sleeping. I convince myself that I just woke up lol when in reality I'm aware something happened. I'll just have a sense of having spoken to someone.
Speaking of speaking to someone, my older sister said she had a dream where she spoke to Jesus and he spoke back but she didn't hear what he said. I told her to try to remember, but deep inside I felt that she got the message and that she just doesn't remember it. I'm sure it's there.
I never assume we don't get a message. I believe we always do, we just aren't aware of what it was. Besides, if they feel she didn't quite get it, I'm sure they'll make it more noticeable. :)
Well, that's all for now.
If someone I become aware that I've astral projected, I'll write out my accounts here :)
Mon
So I wanted to actually write about a passage from an Ethics book I'm reading, but since I'm nearing my sleep time, I decided to write about my personal experience with sleep paralysis instead!
Thinking back on it, I thought a lot of my sleep paralysis were caused by the accident/incident I was in during middle school. But I do have a few vague idea of dreams that I've had as a child (actually it's more vivid because I can actually recall a few of my childhood dreams!).
In one instance I can recall I had went to my mom's room (I was about between the age 6 and possibly 8) after having a dream that our house cat had attacked me with shark like teeth beneath deep snow. The dream was a bit eerie which is why I can recall it to this day. Anyways, I went to her room to sleep in her bed, and as I started to doze off I remember constantly seeing the faces of dead Presidents. Now, this was strange because I wondered if I were asleep or awake and did this lol I believe I was asleep because my mom didn't ask me what I was doing.
Recently I haven't had many encounters with sleep paralysis. But during a very stressful time in high school (I think I can say this was due to stress) I had it constantly. So much to the point where I was afraid to sleep! It's like being awake, but still seeing dream fragments. For example, having your eyes opened, not being able to move or speak (even breathing seems difficult has it feels as if the chest if heavy **in my case**) and seeing people walking around the room.
Because it was so common for me during that time I can feel when it will happen. I'll start to feel really drowsy and want to take a nap. Often when I'm drowsy I know it will likely happen.
Hm...think of it this way, have you ever kicked a leg up in your sleep. This is what it feels like to come back! But now when it happens, I just ease myself back into my waking state and shrug it off lol
I read that this feeling is also similar to the feeling one gets for astral projecting. Personally the feeling is still very uncomfortable lol Because for me I'm still stuck in my head, but my body won't move lol During those times I'll often hear things, such as my family members talking (or I'll contribute it to them talking).
This happened maybe a few weeks ago (my earliest encounter). It was during a nap and I was feeling sleepy. I'll be honest, I often contribute this suddenly sleepy feeling to me being called on or something. It's just the feeling I get. I probably am being contacted. I never try to remember for what reason. But if I had to say my deepest feeling is of helping people. It's never huge groups, it's either a small group, or sitting with one person. I think I just talk with them. Like advice giving or something.
When I first experienced sleep paralysis I was seriously freaked! My mom told me it was the devil :/ Nice way to make me feel better lol Although, even at that time I didn't quite believe that, I was still terrified.
I've had an incident where I was fighting someone from putting my blanket and sheets over me because it was so hot. Or when I just laid in bed staring and my body feeling very heavy and I would try to call out to my siblings to wake me up! It's really frustrating lol
On one very interesting occasion I had experienced it and thought my eyes were partially opened. My younger sister walks into the room and I try to move thinking she was just a dream figure. I try to bring myself back (I often try to bring back the sensation in my fingers or move something slowly. Jerky motions do not help lol slow and steady is best) and then started to blink slowly.She ran out of my room lol I realized I wasn't dreaming hahahaha I had my eyes wide opened. She thought something was wrong with me.
Anyways, if this feeling is seriously associated with OBE, I don't know how to completely leave my body. I've read experiences, and I think the only thing I would do is read or something anyways lol That or speak with my guides. I'd like to take a look at the record book of all life events. That would be interesting too. lol It would be like visiting an museum. Besides that I don't know what else I would do. Possibly get advice. I dunno, I guess it would depend on how I feel during the time.
They say relax into this feeling but how could someone relax into having no feeling in their body. You see, I feel very connected to oxygen lol The feeling of not breathing is a bit strange to me lol I experience that my chest if getting heavy as it, losing the sensation. I honestly like my body! Lol I like the sensations of the senses xDD They make me happy! xD I know that it's only a physical body, but goodness.
I have tried mentally preparing myself to astral project, only to find I've fallen asleep. I think the best time to try this would be when I get that feeling of being drowsy. It happens naturally. Oh! I also read that sleep paralysis can happen upon either the soul leaving/returning to the body and the brain responding before the body does.
I won't lie, it's a little foreign at first, but I think with experience it can become easier.
You see, this is why I'm often convinced I do things when I think I'm sleeping. I convince myself that I just woke up lol when in reality I'm aware something happened. I'll just have a sense of having spoken to someone.
Speaking of speaking to someone, my older sister said she had a dream where she spoke to Jesus and he spoke back but she didn't hear what he said. I told her to try to remember, but deep inside I felt that she got the message and that she just doesn't remember it. I'm sure it's there.
I never assume we don't get a message. I believe we always do, we just aren't aware of what it was. Besides, if they feel she didn't quite get it, I'm sure they'll make it more noticeable. :)
Well, that's all for now.
If someone I become aware that I've astral projected, I'll write out my accounts here :)
Mon
Sunday, April 6, 2014
My recent activities :) + Channeling negative energy in a positive way!
Hi!
So first I'd like to talk about the second part (that I have titled).
Yes, I have found a way to channel my annoyance, irritation etc, in a productive, yet helpful way. That way is:
DA DA DA DAAAAA!
Cleaning!! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°
Yes, one day my sister kind of annoyed me and I started cleaning. I felt it's productive and it helps me clear my head. Whenever I get upset I try not to argue, walk away or ignore the person. Then I'd take some time to figure out why I got angry. I seriously try not to argue as it's a waste of time. I do debate though, but after a while I just start humming or walk away lol
This is what I've decided to do until I can actually deal with it properly. So far I feel great! :3 I find that I'm good to talk after some time. All's forgiven. Overall I try not to blame the other person either because they're speaking from some emotions or they're speaking from some kind of miscommunication or misconception. I try to see it as they're not the cause of my anger, and I also realize that if I say something hurtful and regret it, that's my fault, not theirs.
A lot of time I type things here based on where my heart is truly at. I work pretty hard to align myself with this when doing things in life.
So yep! This is how I deal with it. Cleaning in my therapy and I was seriously thinking "what if I can't find something to clean?!" D: that would be horrible lol But usually when I'm angry or something it doesn't get that bad because I'll end up walking away. I try not to dwell on it either.
Hm...also sometime I've realized about myself as well is that when someone has repeatedly caused me some kind of harm or trouble, I find it comes up in my mind. Strange enough I'll still give to this person, but I feel that I don't need them as a part of my life. Sometimes I feel it's a naive way to feel, but it's just how I am. I can't "hate" someone, but I can dislike what they've done.
Next point!
My recent activities. So tomorrow I finally began my spring classes! I'm surprised the week didn't fly by so quickly. I've been working on organizing my thoughts for my webcomic, but still no actually pen to paper (ink and all that goodness). It was mainly be relaxing, playing a video game and catching up on new videos, movies, t.v. shows (things I don't quite allow myself to do, it's a shame lol but I'm doing it). The reason I try not to preoccupy so much time to t.v. is because I feel it's a waste of productivity. But I've come to see that I shouldn't deprive myself of leisure time and enjoy just relaxing for days.
I definitely feel I waste time if I'm not doing anything. Even during days when I watch a t.v. show (I only watch things on netflix and youtube though), I find that after an hour or two I feel so unproductive and I'll start working on something lol
Well, anyways, my class began tomorrow. I'm a bit excited because I'll be meeting a new teacher. Up until now I've had the same teacher. :) I'll also start working on my 2D animation when I can. So I'm looking forward to that as well.
I'm also (before coming here) reading about people recalling their past lives. Y'know, I have no idea what's up with our minds, but I seriously find myself thinking "how do they know this is true?" when in reality we shouldn't really look to other people to confirm our lives. Then we'd be living a life that someone else think is good for us. I don't mean the seeking advice kind of thing, but things such as "I had this dream, what do you think it means?"
You see, I don't always just accept what people tell me. I try to see if it "feels" right. And even then I'll even doubt myself sometimes. I'll question myself and say something like "how do you know YOU'RE right about doubting that person?"
It's become a thing where I just say "y'know what, screw it." because it's not like what that person thinks is hurting me. And chances are this is very true to them. So why should I take that away? Allow people to dream. Let them imagine. Hm....it's like I'm skeptical right? But I'll tell you that I do believe a lot of things existed that we can't quite comprehend as the truth at this point.
I don't know if I have a mind that is still programmed like people now, or if this is an internal things to not take things at face value. I don't quite feel the doubt, but I do question it. It's not that I don't believe them, I try to put the pieces together.
Oh that note, I decided to do another fun past life analysis. I have seriously took some time to read multiple ones from a lot of different websites! It's actually quite fun. It's based on the time, date, year, latitude, and longitude of a person's birth. And because no two people are the same, I figured that it's possible the information will kind of be different for each person.
Anyways, from all the different one's I have read, they sound kind of similar. *sighs* They all mention my sensitive, that I use my intuition to get me through life (I seriously have no idea if this is true lol because I seriously have no idea when I'm paying attention to it in the first place), that I'm a rebel (it seems I've had issues with authority figures in some of my past lives) and that I'm a revolutionist. And strange enough it tells me I should learn to act according to what I "feel" is right.Haha it seems my life is all about feeling. That I shouldn't doubt myself. I've seriously heard this quite a lot in my life this time around. It says "however deviant your views are", which means regardless of how differing they are to the mainstream.
Ahhhh~ It's so interesting. If I had to say, yes I believe in the rebel part lol Yes I've stood up to teachers before, especially if I feel like they were in the wrong. I don't know much about the intuition part, but maybe it's so natural to me that I'm searching for something I already use. A revolutionist, yeah, I dunno. And oh! It says I have a habit of blaming myself and feeling guilty on the inside....*reads above post* I can see that lol Are these flaws? Well, I don't think it's a bad thing, right?
I mean, it's better than pointing fingers at other people. I'm not in denial about my flaws, I seriously focus on those most because I want to improve those aspects. However, when someone tries to makes me feel guilty, I don't. I've learned to shrug them off. I'm starting to get over this hurdle, I definitely think so.
Ohhhh, and another thing this one mentions that another did was that I try to escape the real world!! D: *le gasp!!* They mention through substances. I am no on drugs lol This is why I don't want to spend so much time thinking too much about the spiritual side of life. I want to enjoy both the physical and the spiritual without any kind of guilt. It says something like how my escapism stifles my creative work flow O__o I have no idea what that means...I wonder if that's why I'm kind of in a rut now. I seriously have no idea what to do xD hahaha advice anyone? In one of the other one's I read it mentioned how I'm good with crafting things with my hands. Which is something that has to do with creating. Yes, I think so. Sometimes I just don't want to (which it mentions that I have this tendency too lol). I'm just like the horse zodiac. I will not do anything until I'm ready or want to (in other words I'm stubborn lol). See? I have loads of flaws.
I like to read these things to see if they match up with me :) It's so fun! But regardless of what I read I know I don't have to accept what any of it says. But I do like to take into account the information and advice, such as what I can do to help improve myself. Mehehehe (｡･｀ω´･｡)
When I think of life in this way, as a seeking issues, flaws and improving kind of thing, it makes things interesting and exciting.
Ohhh, and there are some parts in here I just don't get, such as:
"You have taken obstacles for granted. You have lost the will to fight. You have the sense of logic to identify the needful, the rationality to judge the right. You just need the capability to act according to what you think to be just."
Like, what does that mean? lol Is it possible to take issues for granted? How is that possible? The will to fight, I understand this part. And the other two sentences I see this has meaning I have good judgement. Hm...I guess it's true. I dunno lol maybe that's what it means.
Well, that's all for now lol this blog can go no forever. If you'd like to try a past life analysis as well, here is the link:
http://www.astrologycircle.com/past-life-analysis/
Please try it out :) it's pretty fun. I got a friend of mines interested in this (past life stuff).
Mon
So first I'd like to talk about the second part (that I have titled).
Yes, I have found a way to channel my annoyance, irritation etc, in a productive, yet helpful way. That way is:
DA DA DA DAAAAA!
Cleaning!! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°
Yes, one day my sister kind of annoyed me and I started cleaning. I felt it's productive and it helps me clear my head. Whenever I get upset I try not to argue, walk away or ignore the person. Then I'd take some time to figure out why I got angry. I seriously try not to argue as it's a waste of time. I do debate though, but after a while I just start humming or walk away lol
This is what I've decided to do until I can actually deal with it properly. So far I feel great! :3 I find that I'm good to talk after some time. All's forgiven. Overall I try not to blame the other person either because they're speaking from some emotions or they're speaking from some kind of miscommunication or misconception. I try to see it as they're not the cause of my anger, and I also realize that if I say something hurtful and regret it, that's my fault, not theirs.
A lot of time I type things here based on where my heart is truly at. I work pretty hard to align myself with this when doing things in life.
So yep! This is how I deal with it. Cleaning in my therapy and I was seriously thinking "what if I can't find something to clean?!" D: that would be horrible lol But usually when I'm angry or something it doesn't get that bad because I'll end up walking away. I try not to dwell on it either.
Hm...also sometime I've realized about myself as well is that when someone has repeatedly caused me some kind of harm or trouble, I find it comes up in my mind. Strange enough I'll still give to this person, but I feel that I don't need them as a part of my life. Sometimes I feel it's a naive way to feel, but it's just how I am. I can't "hate" someone, but I can dislike what they've done.
Next point!
My recent activities. So tomorrow I finally began my spring classes! I'm surprised the week didn't fly by so quickly. I've been working on organizing my thoughts for my webcomic, but still no actually pen to paper (ink and all that goodness). It was mainly be relaxing, playing a video game and catching up on new videos, movies, t.v. shows (things I don't quite allow myself to do, it's a shame lol but I'm doing it). The reason I try not to preoccupy so much time to t.v. is because I feel it's a waste of productivity. But I've come to see that I shouldn't deprive myself of leisure time and enjoy just relaxing for days.
I definitely feel I waste time if I'm not doing anything. Even during days when I watch a t.v. show (I only watch things on netflix and youtube though), I find that after an hour or two I feel so unproductive and I'll start working on something lol
Well, anyways, my class began tomorrow. I'm a bit excited because I'll be meeting a new teacher. Up until now I've had the same teacher. :) I'll also start working on my 2D animation when I can. So I'm looking forward to that as well.
I'm also (before coming here) reading about people recalling their past lives. Y'know, I have no idea what's up with our minds, but I seriously find myself thinking "how do they know this is true?" when in reality we shouldn't really look to other people to confirm our lives. Then we'd be living a life that someone else think is good for us. I don't mean the seeking advice kind of thing, but things such as "I had this dream, what do you think it means?"
You see, I don't always just accept what people tell me. I try to see if it "feels" right. And even then I'll even doubt myself sometimes. I'll question myself and say something like "how do you know YOU'RE right about doubting that person?"
It's become a thing where I just say "y'know what, screw it." because it's not like what that person thinks is hurting me. And chances are this is very true to them. So why should I take that away? Allow people to dream. Let them imagine. Hm....it's like I'm skeptical right? But I'll tell you that I do believe a lot of things existed that we can't quite comprehend as the truth at this point.
I don't know if I have a mind that is still programmed like people now, or if this is an internal things to not take things at face value. I don't quite feel the doubt, but I do question it. It's not that I don't believe them, I try to put the pieces together.
Oh that note, I decided to do another fun past life analysis. I have seriously took some time to read multiple ones from a lot of different websites! It's actually quite fun. It's based on the time, date, year, latitude, and longitude of a person's birth. And because no two people are the same, I figured that it's possible the information will kind of be different for each person.
Anyways, from all the different one's I have read, they sound kind of similar. *sighs* They all mention my sensitive, that I use my intuition to get me through life (I seriously have no idea if this is true lol because I seriously have no idea when I'm paying attention to it in the first place), that I'm a rebel (it seems I've had issues with authority figures in some of my past lives) and that I'm a revolutionist. And strange enough it tells me I should learn to act according to what I "feel" is right.Haha it seems my life is all about feeling. That I shouldn't doubt myself. I've seriously heard this quite a lot in my life this time around. It says "however deviant your views are", which means regardless of how differing they are to the mainstream.
Ahhhh~ It's so interesting. If I had to say, yes I believe in the rebel part lol Yes I've stood up to teachers before, especially if I feel like they were in the wrong. I don't know much about the intuition part, but maybe it's so natural to me that I'm searching for something I already use. A revolutionist, yeah, I dunno. And oh! It says I have a habit of blaming myself and feeling guilty on the inside....*reads above post* I can see that lol Are these flaws? Well, I don't think it's a bad thing, right?
I mean, it's better than pointing fingers at other people. I'm not in denial about my flaws, I seriously focus on those most because I want to improve those aspects. However, when someone tries to makes me feel guilty, I don't. I've learned to shrug them off. I'm starting to get over this hurdle, I definitely think so.
Ohhhh, and another thing this one mentions that another did was that I try to escape the real world!! D: *le gasp!!* They mention through substances. I am no on drugs lol This is why I don't want to spend so much time thinking too much about the spiritual side of life. I want to enjoy both the physical and the spiritual without any kind of guilt. It says something like how my escapism stifles my creative work flow O__o I have no idea what that means...I wonder if that's why I'm kind of in a rut now. I seriously have no idea what to do xD hahaha advice anyone? In one of the other one's I read it mentioned how I'm good with crafting things with my hands. Which is something that has to do with creating. Yes, I think so. Sometimes I just don't want to (which it mentions that I have this tendency too lol). I'm just like the horse zodiac. I will not do anything until I'm ready or want to (in other words I'm stubborn lol). See? I have loads of flaws.
I like to read these things to see if they match up with me :) It's so fun! But regardless of what I read I know I don't have to accept what any of it says. But I do like to take into account the information and advice, such as what I can do to help improve myself. Mehehehe (｡･｀ω´･｡)
When I think of life in this way, as a seeking issues, flaws and improving kind of thing, it makes things interesting and exciting.
Ohhh, and there are some parts in here I just don't get, such as:
"You have taken obstacles for granted. You have lost the will to fight. You have the sense of logic to identify the needful, the rationality to judge the right. You just need the capability to act according to what you think to be just."
Like, what does that mean? lol Is it possible to take issues for granted? How is that possible? The will to fight, I understand this part. And the other two sentences I see this has meaning I have good judgement. Hm...I guess it's true. I dunno lol maybe that's what it means.
Well, that's all for now lol this blog can go no forever. If you'd like to try a past life analysis as well, here is the link:
http://www.astrologycircle.com/past-life-analysis/
Please try it out :) it's pretty fun. I got a friend of mines interested in this (past life stuff).
Mon
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