Hello fellow bloggers?? Or like, people of the world! Hi!
How are you?
Me? I'm doing pretty good.
As you can see I'm in a great mood this evening. :) No reason in particular. I've decided for my writing sessions (the 10 minute ones) I'll do them alone and not post them here. Mainly because sometimes I don't feel like opening up my laptop. It'd be much easier to just whip out a good old fashion pen and a good old fashion piece of paper and write (plus it's good for my motor skills! What? *clears throat*
On another note, I've decided to start up on meditating again. I haven't done it in a looonggg time, years perhaps. Mainly because I was wondering if I was reaping any benefits from doing it, but I guess it takes time to gain any kind of results.
So I had my first 5 minute session this evening and let me tell you I kept thinking "Are the 5 minutes up yet?" lol I didn't think that thought would come to mind. I think I'll do five minutes every day for a few months. Mainly because in my mind I'm sure five minutes isn't nothing. Plus, it's more of actually doing it and being consistent than anything.
I do most of my work in the evening because it's usually very quiet and everyone is asleep. I consider myself a night owl because of this, but it's truly the only time everyone in the neighborhood is quiet too. Ever so often I'll hear the neighbors letting their puppies out (training them), but it's nothing too bad. The neighborhood is usually pretty quiet for the most part anyways, but I still prefer the night.
Anyway, my first session went okay. I kept wondering if I set my alarm for five minutes. Then I started to wonder what I'll write about, etc. For my sessions I decided to do what I use to, and that's to focus my attention on a candle's flame. It's easier, plus it gives me something to do other than focusing on my breathing. I find focusing on an object is better for me. Overall, I think all that matters is allowing the thoughts to just fly on by without lingering on them right? I've never truly understood what meditation was all about, but I'd like to think it's a moment to just allow yourself to be without any judgement or thoughts. Just being in the moment.
Today my mom actually got me a purifier T_T for the air in my room. I hope it helps! Because I've been still dealing with hives, and overall I just feel my body is kind of off. It's really bugging me. I like to think that our spiritual body is a reflection of of physical body...or what I mean is that if something is out of whack with our spiritual centers, then it causes issues for our physical bodies.
I looked it up and it seems it might be my third chakra (the navel chakra). I wouldn't be surprised, because I have been very stressed and constantly worrying about finding work, completing work, etc. I honestly don't see how people can do this on the daily. I'd like to relax more often, but I gotta get things moving.
Besides this, I've been stressed about the hives themselves! Sometimes my face will swell up very badly and it will take the entire day to go down. This part is the most annoying because I will never know if it will happen before a job interview. I've been thinking "what if I get a job? And my face swells up or I have welts all over my arms and people see it and think I'm sick or something?" lol
It can really take a toll. So my mom says that perhaps it's the air in my room and finally caved in to get a purifier. On Monday I may go see someone about my health. I'm hoping the purifier will help to some extent. At the start of the year it was only my legs that would break out, then it started to happen on my back. Now it can happen on my legs, arms, back, stomach, neck and face.
When that happens my heart starts racing and my chest will start hurting. .__. it's quite annoying and I'm afraid to sleep because my heart would be pounding. I looked it up and saw that this can happen.I don't know why, but it does. Even taking antihistamines don't help sometimes. Maybe I shouldn't say they don't help, they do, but if I take them after having already broken out, it will take a while to kick in and for the welts to go down.
It happened yesterday evening. I had to be up at 8 a.m. this morning and it happen! I didn't get to sleep until about 2 a.m. after I broke up very badly at about 11 p.m. During that time I had taken a antihistamine I think at about 11 p.m., because it's common for me to break out around this time, and it started happening anyways. I had to stay up in order to wait for the swelling to go down and my chest to stop hurting.
I woke up really sleepy, but I became wide awake when I saw my nephew!! lol I guess the energy of children is infectious. You don't need coffee, just spend some time with kids xD Lol they're naturally a ball of caffeine on legs!
I'm interested to see how this evening goes. So far nothing. I purchased this humidity reader for my room and it turns out the humidity in my room is %70 which is actually pretty high. On the packaging it states that humidity levels past %60 are a breeding ground for mod, pest and other things, so this could be an issue too.
I was under the assumption that the mold that happened in our basement was probably an issue for me. Because it was around this time that everything started happening. (;___;) Sometimes I'm wallowing in my own self-pity and think "what a sensitive body I have" lol For example, once I dropped a penny on my foot and it scratched me and left a mark. I was like "WTF!?"
It bothers me that my sister and mom aren't affected by this. But then again, I wonder if it's the humidity. Because the same thing happened even when I went to stay with my older sister for a week. Then when we went out for a three day trip it still happened. Or rather, it was very minimal. Perhaps it is stress and my body is feeling the effects. But how long do I have to relax in order to not be stressed? Like if there a manual for this?? lol I assume that if I play a video game, or watch a few shows, that should help with my stress, but I guess it goes further than that.
Well, I'm trying. I've been eating more fruit and drinking tea instead of coffee. I think it could be a number of things. The issue that I saw, from reading online, is that some people, when they go get examined, they aren't given a specific reason as to what it is...or rather, they'd be told it's one thing, but it's not. So they start taking medication. I do not want to do this!
I believe we can self medicate for the most part. Not everything needs a drug to be cured. I'm not saying I'm against pharmaceuticals, but seriously do you listen to all those side effects? Lol at the end of the day, yo'd probably just be better off.
For example, when I went in at the start of this year for a diagnosis and found out I have hive, the doctor prescribed me like three or four different prescriptions. Some of them I looked at and was like "What the heck is this?!" and I checked the side effects and just chucked those in the depths of my closet in a bag lol One of them was steroids, and as I recall, steroids have side effects as well. I'm breaking out in welts, I'm not losing a arm or anything. All of that wasn't necessary.
In the end I ended up only taking the antihistamine because I researched this medicine and it was the less severe of all of the prescriptions. The only side effect is that it would make me very very sleepy. Because of this, I would often take it only at night.
So at the moment I am sort of breaking out on my hands. This says to me that perhaps it could be the humidity. Why the heck am I self diagnosing myself lol It's kind of fun, I'd like to get to a solution overall.
That's all for now.
G'night
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