Spirits

Woo!

First I'd like to say that I'm feeling great, if not a little tired, but great overall! Today I had a job interview, and can I just say that I actually kind of like interviews. Getting past the actual interview and actually just talking to the person and the people around me is pretty great. I get super happy. Anyway, the job interview was at an Animal Clinic and there was a golden retriever in the room during the entire interview. He kept trying to get close to me and placed his head on my lap and left fur all on my black outfit lol the interviewer had to hold him. I guess I have the effect on animals *blows nails* lol

I'll be going in tomorrow to see what their hectic day is like. I'll just say this, I'm usually excited for new things. When I speak, it's so odd, but I often say "I don't want to do this and that" because I assume it's boring, but when I get there I have fun. The me in the real world is the total opposite of the comfortable me online! It's why when I type online I'm much more open. My sister has commented, the first time she typed to me online, on how my personality is different.

I wouldn't say I'm...different, just more reserved in person. I'm often just taking things in. Then when I become comfortable I'm open like how I am here. But I'm often feeling to see how things come to me, such as if someone is feeling uncomfortable, or if something happened to this person, I start to wonder what's the best way to deal with them. Things like that. So it's very odd but my family don't get this lol I'm usually in my room and they assume I don't want to be bothered. This is true to some extent, and only when I'm working on something, but there's usually never anything wrong with me.

Anyways! To the point of this blog. Years ago I was very very interested in metaphysics. I would visit my local library often and take out books on the topic and was so fascinated by what I was reading. Yet there were a lot of things I would think "But..." and "Yeah but..." because I was also skeptic of a lot of the things, as fascinated as I was.

Yet a lot of what I read tended to give answers to things in a way that seemed to make sense to me. Back then I also noticed connections from one book to another, or I'd savage the internet for new information and saw that the similar things would could up. You can say "Oh, but they all may be reading from the same book." and I would say that it's the book of the universe that they're reading from lol

I'm watching this video now about this man and how he found out he is a psychic medium (he has the word "was" in the title, and I seriously don't know why he's talking about himself in past tense), and I thought about how adorable his reactions were to the strange occurrence that happened throughout his daily life. I was also happy that he actually noticed the signs and started thinking about how people miss the signs, or they don't pay attention to them. I'm under the impression that we all posses spiritual abilities, but we think that only a select few has these abilities.

I've come to accept that this is false. We just miss the signs or don't understand that we're being given signs. We also have to work on improving our abilities. It's like going to a foreign country and then you stop using your own language. After years and years of doing this, going back to your own country and hearing the language may sound foreign to you.

Also, some people may have a stronger ability in one area or another. I will say that I'm curious to the people who are born and they still have a heighten sense of awareness for the 4th dimension. Even then, some of them may be more terrified of their ability or just want to tuck it away and have nothing to do with it. I get it, mainly because we live in a separate reality, and not everyone is aware of it, or their religious beliefs are against it. This I understand. From what I've learned, it helps to have a balance between living in the human world and not getting too caught up in the spiritual one, or living too much in the human world and neglecting the spiritual aspect of yourself.

I kind of have nothing against either. I literally have no troubles with the way people choose to live their lives as long as they aren't causing harm to another person...or themselves.

I think people with a strong awareness are here to show us that other realms do exist and that there are abilities to gain access in order to view it.

But this man in the video, he responded in a way I would typically assume someone would response: in disbelief, in skepticism or in thinking certain things happen coincidentally.

But it's impossible for things to be this easy?? Don't worry I felt the same way. I don't claim to be astute in the realm of things, but I think I get the general idea. I had so many disbelief about it, but it's when I started to wonder why I thought it was so bizarre that it led me down an even longer rabbit hole. Because it made me question myself, it made me wonder why couldn't these things be true.

The benefit to this is that I started to look for connections to factual information. Using science or things based from the real world as a means to say "Okay, this seems sound" is something that helped me.

It is tough to believe in something you can't see, but there are plenty of things in the world that I can't see, but believe in. Take air for example. I can only see the remnants of my breath after blowing our air in the cold of winter, and when huffing and puffing on a glass, but only then. What if the same conditions held true for seeing a realm outside of our own??

Is it so far-fetched?

I don't mind skeptics, honestly it helps to reanalyze, but because I have an imagination and I work in the art, I think this is a benefit for me. I believe, but I can understand why some people wouldn't. I think this is odd, but because I like to craft up characters for stories, and craft up my reasons why they think and behave a certain way, it helps me to understand people as well lol

So if you're like me, you'd probably wonder what's the point in getting in contact with the spiritual realm? Well, one of the most obvious one would be that people can reconnect with loved ones. It's not like their in some far off world, and they can literally sit and have a chat with you. Or they can send you message and signs. The difference is that they aren't here physically, and because we're physical beings, it seems odd.

Next, it can be for guidance and expanding knowledge. Not only can you learn more on the physical plane with physical people, but with spirits as well. I've once read that it's not uncommon for a spirit to stay with you for a bit to lend some knowledge in certain aspects of your life. I'd like to think that I have artist stopping by (I'm not claiming it's true, but boy I would like to continue to believe this lol). Beyond this, they can help you with your spiritual teachings as well. My impression is that, just like a teacher in the physical, they aren't going to do the work for you. You won't learn otherwise. They'll just probably give you advice on certain aspect of your life that can be altered in order to help you succeed.

And last but not least, past talents! lol I don't know about you, but this is the part I'm most interested in xDD Your soul will never lose any of the talents it's acquired in your past lives. I would say past lives are a benefit, but I feel they're more like a tool of sorts. I once read that a lady had a talent in making butter, due to one of her past lives. The person who helped regress her didn't seem to interested in this tidbit of information, but I think she saw it was impressive enough to share. Do you know how cool it would be to know that you were someone that helped build houses, or had knowledge in a different field? To me, it would be like going to a bookstore or a library! I'm literally a fan of knowledge...on particular topics that is lol And it really depends on what I'm feeling up to.

So why would you want to deny something like this when there's benefits to it? I get it if you want to live in the physical realm, but imagine living in both. One, it will make transitions from life to the other side so much easier, because you know we're you're going and you realize it isn't something you should fear. Two, you'll understand other much more than you would if you continued thinking they're separate from you (they're life lesson is different from yours, it doesn't mean you two are separated. You're both students). Three, you life will not stop. You can still go shopping. You can still travel. You can still hangout with friends, etc.

Four, you won't have to turn to someone else to gain an understanding of what you're learning. You can still get advice and suggestions, but you won't doubt yourself as much.

Mainly it's adding more to your life. It only takes a bit of work. Yet I'll never knock someone for not wanting to do something, but I see the benefits as more rewarding.

I think it takes confidence. But I'm seeing a lot more confidence nowadays. So things are looking up a bit, that isn't to say I don't think we have some ways to go, but I will say that as long as I can see glimmers of light, I'm hopefully. Thanks viewing a video about D.I.D, it led me to this man's video haha

For me personally, I'd love to get in touch with the spiritual realm. Just as much as I'd like to learn more about the physically. For me though, I love the physical world despite some of the hardships and destruction, etc, I like it.

Mainly I think the hardships wouldn't exist if people knew how to behave properly. If some people weren't greedy and if some people were much more understanding, and compassionate. If people possessed these qualities we wouldn't have to be suspicious or on our toes. If people didn't have ill-intentions or wanted to do harm to another, we wouldn't have to feel we have to resort to our survival instincts.

I think it's more an inner struggle than an outer. I won't tell people to just trust anyone, and it's simply due to some people not being trustworthy. But if people were less likely to lie, less likely to want to steal, if people were able to get the help they need, if some people weren't mistreated as young children, if some people weren't bullied or any other horrible things, I think we'd be well on our way. But because these things happen that I have to say we have some ways to go. I do think being a bit more spiritual helps.

As said this time and time again, I'm not against religions of any sorts. At one point I've even gotten to a point where I said "What if all religious Gods just got together and hung out from time to time?" I even liked to believe that there are as many Gods in this world as is needed to make people feel happy. But people like to believe there is only ONE GOD, and no other. People aren't able to believe in any other God, but MY GOD.

Again, I don't mind this. If it gives someone a peace of mind and it helps guide them in life to a more morally and ethical life, I don't mind. To me, when religion is done properly, those people have a peace of mind. I've had friends who were quite religious and they never tried to convert me. If you don't know, I use to claim to be Baptist, I relinquished it because I don't think it's necessary for me.

Religious practices are okay. Praying is okay. I feel a sense of honor when people are faithful to their religion. I'm happy for them.

I'm also not against atheist either. They're more set in solid, and some are pretty realistic in terms of the physical. It seems they usually posses a lot of common sense.

Overall, I don't care what you believe in, as long as you can be respectful. I'm more interested in someone's character. Someone's intentions are much more important to me.

So these are my thoughts. Are they wrong or right? I think they're of love, and to me, this is most important. It's also why I don't mind religions when it gives people a peace of mind. These things give me a peace of mind. So yep! I don't know if they're true or not, but I'd like to say that if I see a consistent connection of similarities, I'd like to assume their some truth to it.

I will add one more thing. Socrates (I literally love this man he was awesome lol) had a way of showing people just how ignorant they truly are, all the while claiming he knew nothing at all. I honestly think he saw faults in the way some people were thinking and called them out on it, and because he never claimed to be knowledgeable or vain, he never looked ignorant. He claimed to wanted to understand things, but I think he understood a lot more than he was willing to admit :) He was a sly guy. My mom honestly can't stand him xDD But I think it's because he would call her out on a few things.

Mon

No more stories + Hives update

Hello fellow bloggers?? Or like, people of the world! Hi!

How are you?

Me? I'm doing pretty good.

As you can see I'm in a great mood this evening. :) No reason in particular. I've decided for my writing sessions (the 10 minute ones) I'll do them alone and not post them here. Mainly because sometimes I don't feel like opening up my laptop. It'd be much easier to just whip out a good old fashion pen and a good old fashion piece of paper and write (plus it's good for my motor skills! What? *clears throat*

On another note, I've decided to start up on meditating again. I haven't done it in a looonggg time, years perhaps. Mainly because I was wondering if I was reaping any benefits from doing it, but I guess it takes time to gain any kind of results.

So I had my first 5 minute session this evening and let me tell you I kept thinking "Are the 5 minutes up yet?" lol I didn't think that thought would come to mind. I think I'll do five minutes every day for a few months. Mainly because in my mind I'm sure five minutes isn't nothing. Plus, it's more of actually doing it and being consistent than anything.

I do most of my work in the evening because it's usually very quiet and everyone is asleep. I consider myself a night owl because of this, but it's truly the only time everyone in the neighborhood is quiet too. Ever so often I'll hear the neighbors letting their puppies out (training them), but it's nothing too bad. The neighborhood is usually pretty quiet for the most part anyways, but I still prefer the night.

Anyway, my first session went okay. I kept wondering if I set my alarm for five minutes. Then I started to wonder what I'll write about, etc. For my sessions I decided to do what I use to, and that's to focus my attention on a candle's flame. It's easier, plus it gives me something to do other than focusing on my breathing. I find focusing on an object is better for me. Overall, I think all that matters is allowing the thoughts to just fly on by without lingering on them right? I've never truly understood what meditation was all about, but I'd like to think it's a moment to just allow yourself to be without any judgement or thoughts. Just being in the moment.

Today my mom actually got me a purifier T_T for the air in my room. I hope it helps! Because I've been still dealing with hives, and overall I just feel my body is kind of off. It's really bugging me. I like to think that our spiritual body is a reflection of of physical body...or what I mean is that if something is out of whack with our spiritual centers, then it causes issues for our physical bodies.

I looked it up and it seems it might be my third chakra (the navel chakra). I wouldn't be surprised, because I have been very stressed and constantly worrying about finding work, completing work, etc. I honestly don't see how people can do this on the daily. I'd like to relax more often, but I gotta get things moving.

Besides this, I've been stressed about the hives themselves! Sometimes my face will swell up very badly and it will take the entire day to go down. This part is the most annoying because I will never know if it will happen before a job interview. I've been thinking "what if I get a job? And my face swells up or I have welts all over my arms and people see it and think I'm sick or something?" lol

It can really take a toll. So my mom says that perhaps it's the air in my room and finally caved in to get a purifier. On Monday I may go see someone about my health. I'm hoping the purifier will help to some extent. At the start of the year it was only my legs that would break out, then it started to happen on my back. Now it can happen on my legs, arms, back, stomach, neck and face.

When that happens my heart starts racing and my chest will start hurting. .__. it's quite annoying and I'm afraid to sleep because my heart would be pounding. I looked it up and saw that this can happen.I don't know why, but it does. Even taking antihistamines don't help sometimes. Maybe I shouldn't say they don't help, they do, but if I take them after having already broken out, it will take a while to kick in and for the welts to go down.

It happened yesterday evening. I had to be up at 8 a.m. this morning and it happen! I didn't get to sleep until about 2 a.m. after I broke up very badly at about 11 p.m. During that time I had taken a antihistamine I think at about 11 p.m., because it's common for me to break out around this time, and it started happening anyways. I had to stay up in order to wait for the swelling to go down and my chest to stop hurting.

I woke up really sleepy, but I became wide awake when I saw my nephew!! lol  I guess the energy of children is infectious. You don't need coffee, just spend some time with kids xD Lol they're naturally a ball of caffeine on legs!

I'm interested to see how this evening goes. So far nothing. I purchased this humidity reader for my room and it turns out the humidity in my room is %70 which is actually pretty high. On the packaging it states that humidity levels past %60 are a breeding ground for mod, pest and other things, so this could be an issue too.

I was under the assumption that the mold that happened in our basement was probably an issue for me. Because it was around this time that everything started happening. (;___;) Sometimes I'm wallowing in my own self-pity and think "what a sensitive body I have" lol For example, once I dropped a penny on my foot and it scratched me and left a mark. I was like "WTF!?"

It bothers me that my sister and mom aren't affected by this. But then again, I wonder if it's the humidity. Because the same thing happened even when I went to stay with my older sister for a week. Then when we went out for a three day trip it still happened. Or rather, it was very minimal. Perhaps it is stress and my body is feeling the effects. But how long do I have to relax in order to not be stressed? Like if there a manual for this?? lol I assume that if I play a video game, or watch a few shows, that should help with my stress, but I guess it goes further than that.

Well, I'm trying. I've been eating more fruit and drinking tea instead of coffee. I think it could be a number of things. The issue that I saw, from reading online, is that some people, when they go get examined, they aren't given a specific reason as to what it is...or rather, they'd be told it's one thing, but it's not. So they start taking medication. I do not want to do this!

I believe we can self medicate for the most part. Not everything needs a drug to be cured. I'm not saying I'm against pharmaceuticals, but seriously do you listen to all those side effects? Lol at the end of the day, yo'd probably just be better off.

For example, when I went in at the start of this year for a diagnosis and found out I have hive, the doctor prescribed me like three or four different prescriptions. Some of them I looked at and was like "What the heck is this?!" and I checked the side effects and just chucked those in the depths of my closet in a bag lol One of them was steroids, and as I recall, steroids have side effects as well. I'm breaking out in welts, I'm not losing a arm or anything. All of that wasn't necessary.

In the end I ended up only taking the antihistamine because I researched this medicine and it was the less severe of all of the prescriptions. The only side effect is that it would make me very very sleepy. Because of this, I would often take it only at night.

So at the moment I am sort of breaking out on my hands. This says to me that perhaps it could be the humidity. Why the heck am I self diagnosing myself lol It's kind of fun, I'd like to get to a solution overall.

That's all for now.

G'night

Planning for Day 4

                                                                  Day 4 

Think of two very different people you know.  Invent a character who combines characteristics of both of them.  Then put this character in a stressful family situation...
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This is the next scenario! I'm gonna need some time to construct a decent character using the two people I have in mind. I think the stressful situation is what I need the most time to plan out. Then I'll do my 10 minutes. I'm not sure if I'm suppose to plan things out this way, but the exercise is pretty much just typing for 10 minutes a day, so I guess as long as that gets done it doesn't matter how I go about it. I mean, I'm not even posting a thing everyday haha but it's because I'm working on other things. I'm just doing a lot of planning.

I was thinking, if there are people who also enjoy reading/writing and happens to stumble onto this blog, please feel free to do your own free-writing. You can also post your 10 minute exercise below. :) I'd love to read them.

Above all else, I think these exercises aren't meant to be taken seriously. It's to get the creative juices flowing and to not procrastinate from writing. It's just to get a person up and going. I try to work on a little bit of some of the things I'd like to improve on. Recently I found that I haven't touched a pair of knitting needles nor crochet hook in months! This has to stop lol I learned to much and I'm sure if I picked up a hook or needles I wouldn't even know how to create a simple slipknot. So I want to get back into this.

I also watched an interesting video by a youtuber by the name Thoughty2 on the topic of procrastination. He said back in ancient Greece people believed procrastination was necessary, so they sought to do it often. Watching the video helped me to realize that procrastination isn't a bad thing, but it can create laziness if one doesn't do something at least for a short time everyday. Procrastination is our brains way of relieving stress.

During the past months, I use to have a tough time just relaxing without the constant thought of getting some kind of work done. I think this may have caused me to stress a bit, because if I wasn't busy I'd feel unproductive, but now I'm relaxing a lot more and to be honest I'm like "I haven't done anything in two days.Am I okay?" So now I actively seek to at least devote some time to a project I haven't completed.

I'm not going to rush to finish the projects, but I want to complete at least complete a piece of it to a certain extent. Any effort is a step forward.

He also stated in the video, that we should manage larger task into tiny bite size pieces. It's not something I haven't heard before, but I think when it comes to a huge project, say for example, crocheting a blanket, it may seem like it will take forever (which is why I've stuck to knitting/crocheting scarfs lol), but if we say "I'll just do 10 rows today", and stick with that everyday, eventually the task will get done. It simply takes perseverance, which is something I lack.

I can't help but feel a larger project will take a lot of time and effort, but I think the payout will be great. I just think it will take quite a bit of time. For example, I have this 2D animation I haven't completed. It's been years! lol I remember telling my teacher "I'll show the class when I'm done" xD It's something that can't happen seeing as I graduated. I'll have to manage my time if I want to fit these task in my days. I'd love to finish it, but it's literally every time consuming, but I think once I'm in my zone, I'll put in some good effort. I'll more than likely have to plan on which days I'd like to work on each of my projects.

Anyways, if it's any reassurance to anyone out there wanting to work on a project that is constantly pushed back, just know you aren't alone. :) All that matters is that you just keep picking it up and putting more and more towards it at a time.


Mon

30 Days of Inspiration-Day 3

   09/04/18       

                                                          Day 3 


Imagine you're looking through a collection of short stories.  One of the titles catches your interest.  That's the story you want to read first.  What might the title be?  Invent a title that would make you want to read the story.  Now, write a story to go with that title...

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Title: Faded Memories


I have very little recollection of my childhood. Whenever I tried to recall something the it would start to bubble up, only to fizzle away. I would find this odd if only my life wasn't as mysterious as looking through a kaleidoscope for the answers to the meaning of life.

I was average.

My life was not.

I grew up in a room where only a few poorly drawn images were hung. The walls were always white and my schedule was pretty routine. I was free to walk about, but was never free to leave. It was something that came to my mind sometimes, but it was never something I could see myself doing.

I became use to the people I called my guardians in this place. There were four of them. Two women, and three men. One of the women worked the front desk to the facility. Her name was Grace and she was always warm and welcoming. When she smiled it was like lighting a candle in a dark cave, knowing that there was still a vast amount of abyss ahead, but not caring because you knew the light would never die.

Then there was Kate. She was a nurse and it seemed everyone liked her. She was a darker complexion than Grace and they were polar opposites of one another. Kate was pretty sassy, but she was also quite honest. Some people thought it wasn't very good thing for her to posses, almost as if she was holding a box full of secrets that could at any moment fall out and shatter onto the floor. Yet, a lot of people liked this about her.

I liked this about her, but what I really liked most about her, were the tiny treats she'd sneak to me late at night when I was younger. When I was sad thinking about the true parents I never knew. She was sneak in, pat me on the shoulder and gently place the chocolate in my hand and say "They're missing out on something great."

After Kate there was Peter. If I was to think of Peter as any kind of family, he would be the quiet playful brother. Peter was one of the cooks. He had a stern face and a beard and mustache, but he was funny when not many people were around. Quiet amongst the staff, but playful with the children. This was Peter. He was like my older brother. He was also a great chef. I'm afraid that he'll be leaving us soon, unfortunately.

Then of course you have to have a mother and father right. Well those two would be the two doctors who bicker quite often. Doctor Hoffman and Doctor Addison. Two completely different men with their own families, sometimes they share similar ideals and other times they'd just bicker and debate until they decide to just research and come to a conclusion on who was closet to the truth.

They don't quite bicker in front of me, but someone once told me they bickered in front of them quite often. It was a silent kind of bickering. Back and forth. They didn't raise their voice. No. It's probably because they feel they're beyond that. As if debating quietly was some kind of reward that doctors were only capable of obtaining.

Then there's Jolie. He's my next door neighbor and he stays in the room next to me. I would say that Jolie is my younger sister and I have to protect him. He's has quiet as a mouse, but I understand him in volumes that only a lot of these people can imagine. I've seen his life. I've seen the isolation. I'm seen the darkness in his mind. And all it took of me was a tap of his hand and poof! There, right in front of me, there it was. the beast that connected the two of us.

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Here's day 3. I honestly had no title in mind! I just imagined that I was walking through the library and picked up a book and saw the image on the front. I think if this were a book the cover would be dark and wispy with a figure on the front, almost like someone is standing on the opposite side of a frosted window with bars.

I imagine the main character has having dark brown hair that is shoulder length and dark brown eyes. She's in her early twenties now.

But if I was to read a tiny synopsis of this book I'd probably check it out. Writing without a thought of where the story is going is a bit interesting. I use to write this way back in middle school, but I've become a bit more structured due to school. Now that I've graduated, I'd like to try and incorporate both. It's a little unnerving because I'm not sure where the story might go, if it makes sense, etc.

But I guess that's the point of free writing. Then go back and re-read what is written and organize it.

Something I was surprised about were the staff she calls her family. She's not in a mental institute by the way lol I'm sure it might seem that way. This idea, as I was writing, seemed to have stemmed a bit from a dream I had months ago. It's about people with unique minds. Minds that are capable of harming others, so they are placed under special care.

I think the thing that doesn't make sense to me, now that I think about it, is that she says she doesn't remember much from her childhood, but that she remembers Kate bringing her candies into her room late at night. You'd think this is something she can't recall, but I imagine it's because Kate is still a part of her life.

I think the best person to take this from is my younger sister. She can't recall a lot from our childhood. But it's like if she said she doesn't remember me, or even a small detail about she and I as we were growing up, that would be odd to me because I'm still a part of her life.

Now if we spoke about my aunt who passed away long before I even knew her, and I don't really recall her as a person so much as I recall small things that we use to do at her home, I think this makes more sense. But if she were still here, I'd be able to make more memories with her, despite the fact that I can't recall every little detail.

Well, that's all for now. I think I'll write my thoughts of the writing I produce if I have any. But I'll only place them at the end.

I'm interested to see what the next scenario will be!

Mon