Allergies

I've had allergies before in the past, such as a stuffy nose or itchy eyes, but never have I had my skin react so badly to something!

Hi! Today I spent the better half of today in a medical clinic waiting to be seen, only to be told that I may have had hives (which I guess is similar to a rash or something), and the hives may have been caused by me washing my sheets with this laundry detergent! Who would've thought being clean can cause an allergic reaction! lol 

This has been happening for the past four days. I was okay the first time it happened and I was like "Oh, a bug must have bit me in my sleep." because it went away. Then the next day came and it was on my legs. Eventually my mom's comments of  "something's eating you up at night" worried me lol and my mom tried to avoid contact with me because she thought it was bed bugs. No bugs! I thoroughly checked my room and room is pretty much clean for the most part. I vacuum often, but I vacuumed my mattress using the hose that comes with it. I took the cover off of my mattress and washed that.

When it finally was told that I could be reacting negatively to something new I used, I boiled it down to the detergent, or the new body wash I got for Christmas. So I'm rewashing my linen with new dye free detergent. It's a shame, because I washed my clothes with the detergent that may have caused the problem. I'm wearing some now! Lol So what I'll do is see if I break out again, if I change my clothes. If so I have to rewash everything! *sighs*

To the wait. I spent four hours waiting just for the doctor to tell me this. But because this ER allows walk-ins, they go by a case-by-case basis, meaning the most severe cases go first. You know, I was surprised to see so many people wearing face mask! But it made me feel a bit happy because they cared about their health, especially considering the outbreak of influenza recently. I'm glad people heeded the warning.

While I waited I continued reading a novel I received from Christmas called The Darkest Minds. It's okay now, but it was better at the start. Anyway, it kept be busy for the most part. The main issue is that I woke up kind of annoyed because I had broke out all on my legs and I had assumed some spiders got a hope to me. So I cleaned my skin, grabbed so fresh linen and moved to another room to resume my sleep. I woke up at 1 in the afternoon, and reheated my coffee from yesterday and grabbed a quick breakfast snack because I wasn't too hungry. Only to find out that Walgreen's clinic would close at four.

I left the house around 3:20-ish, and finally made it back home at 8 p.m. I just ate! I had only one meal today because I only nibbled on my breakfast and took a few sips of my coffee....

This sounds like I'm writing a book hahaha  "She then grabs her cup and realized there's no coffee left" doesn't it sound like something like this? lol 

So 2018 is off to an interesting year. I guess it's good to experience new things, but I don't know if I should say that in this situation. I guess I'm happy that it isn't anything too serious. I'm not sure exactly what in the ingredients caused the reaction, but I guess we'll see. I still have to boil it down to see if it's actually the detergent that caused it and not my body wash. 

They gave me a paper booklet with a lot of information about different kinds of allergies! I was happy for that! It's good to learn new things. 

Mon

Ghost Stories/Life Stories

I mentioned in my previous blog that I like the show Paranormal Activity. I understand that there are quite a few paranormal television series, but I like this show because the guy (Ryan) who put the team together claimed to have had experiences with the Paranormal as a child...and also because of Chip Coffey! haha Lorraine Warren is someone he also calls onto the show from time to time. Earlier this morning I was watching one of the earlier episodes (from session one) and he mentioned that Lorraine was a part of the Amittyville Horror case. I've never seen the movie but I thought "Wait...Lorraine? Was she the one on the case for the movie The Conjuring?" and sure enough, after looking up her name, she was that Lorraine. I can't believe I didn't recognize the name haha shame.

Anyway, I've come to view the supernatural a bit differently than I use to when I was younger. Mainly, a friend of mines told me that they're very similar to the living..well some. And after speaking to a load of people throughout my life, I realize that everyone has a story. EVERYONE. Some good, some bad. Some people aren't capable of coping with situations or they have no idea how, so they deal with it the only way they know how. To me, ghost are no exception to this rule, though I prefer to call them spirits. The word "ghost" has been Hollywoodnized to the point where the word just automatically scream EVIL!

Mainly, I'm fascinated by stories even if the pieces are placed together by the living about those who passed. It's interesting to see cases where the pieces start to fall into place on why a spirit is tormenting a household, or a person. Or even why a spirit may be latching onto someone.

I think the Korean movie The Curse of Bushinsaba did it for me. Of course I was terrified watching this movie alone, late at  night in my room, but I sat through it, and I came to actually feel a bit sorry for the spirit tormenting the characters in the show. She was really searching for help.

Well, I have to say that I don't think it's fun having spirits follow you and you can see or hear them. That would probably bug me. Some are harmless and usually just like to hang around I imagine, and some just like to pop in and give a bit of inspiration, but for people who can see them from time to time, I wonder if they can just shut it off when they want.

Life stories then. How are those interesting? Most people are under the assumption that their lives just are interesting, but when people tell me the story of their lives I can't help but think that there story is unique to only them. No one's story is ever the same and that amazes me! That alone is enough for me to realize that everyone is so different in their lessons in life, or what they have to learn, but that we're all also similar as well. Some have more to learn than others.

Mostly, the stories of life sound so much like a novel or a movie. It's surprising that some people have dealt with such hardships, and yet they walk around in world as if everything is normal.They're strong people. Some people have dealt with such difficult things, and yet they still go on with life. I appreciate those people. I'm sure it can't be easy.

That's not to say that those people are more important, everyone has their hardships, but some have tougher, more physically, emotionally and mentally draining experiences.

Also, it's interesting to really get to know someone's story. You think you know someone until they talk about an experience from their point of view. Is it bad that even my own family members trip me up with their stories? In a way I think to myself "I don't really know you, the real you, do I?" because people walk with mask to hide those deep dark part of themselves. I'm happy that they share it with me sometimes.

For example, the final teacher I had before graduating, I always thought "he seems strict", but he was actually pretty cool despite a little issue we had (I apologize for making things hard for him). He shared with me pieces of his life and he would spend so much time talking to me lol Of course this wasn't suppose to happen. In this class, we're suppose to show him our work/progress every week. He would check it then give advice, then send us on our way. Me? Well, he would check my work, then start talking about stuff lol of course because I don't really mind, he would talk for so long. After a while I realized he would talk all the way until class was about to end, so I would decide to sit with him last (placing my name at the bottom of the list to be called).

Anyway, the strictness he had was due to his nature of working hard. Of course I've always appreciated his desire to want to see only the best of his students. He really meant well in this regards. He was a kind guy who really cared. Yet I've had many teachers like this. Some were really passionate about what they taught. To me, it's admirable, and it's because of these experiences that I'm happy.

If we go through life, and our spirit guides lead us into situations that are intended for us, I appreciate, acknowledge and hold in high regards the people they bring into my life. I really am happy about the people I've run into, but I guess it also takes time and effort to truly understand someone's nature. I'm not them, but I can get a good feeling for someone. And that's the thing, if you hear what people are saying, a lot of their actions may make a bit more sense, even if they don't see/understand it themselves.

Btw, can you guys believe that all the snow has melted here?! It took only one day and the streets are clear.

That's all for now. This is why I'm not against spirits. I don't think most people believe they exist, and that's fine, I have nothing against them. It's mainly because spirits cannot be seen in the way that human beings can. It would be tough to believe something you can't see. That's a sound reason, and I have nothing against people who feel that way. I don't see them, but I believe they're there. I guess that takes some kind of faith to believe right? Some might ask "how can you trust something you've never seen?"

And that's kind of a tough question to answer. Hm...I guess my response would be that I know that air exist, but I can't see it, but I can breath it. I know that my heart is where it is even though I can't see it, but I can feel it. I have a mind, but I can't see it, but I'm aware that there's something there. It's something that seems intangible, but it exist.

To me, this is similar to the whole "where did humans come from?" concept. Simply because we can gather things up, like fossils, and create a story behind it. It may not be %100 accurate, but base one what our technology is capable of, we'll say "yeah, but it sounds accurate enough." In honesty, it's likely that things were different years ago, or happened a certain way, but because we weren't there (which I think most of us were because I believe in past lives haha) it's hard to make claims that are %100 true.

To me, this is also similar to if I'm writing this blog and someone reads it, but the interpret it their own way. You see the surface of my words, but perhaps the intent that I'm trying to get across isn't completely there. And if something happened to me, or I wasn't around to explain what I really meant, it would just go on as being someone else's interpretation of what they thought I meant.

What I'm trying to say is that as certain as we may think we are, sometimes there is much more, and we aren't always %100 correct. The greatest strength I think we could have that can help in being innovative is seeing that we aren't always right, and that we can always improve.

OKAY! I got here somehow from talking about ghost and life lol well this can be applied to life somehow, I don't know.

Mon

Creativity

Hi!

It's kind of late (6:42 a.m.) and I haven't been to sleep yet. This is by choice. I see my mom out on her way to work in the morning, and I stay up until she wakes up to leave at around 5:45-ish. Sometimes I'll take a small nap, but because I feel most productive/creative at around midnight, I guess it's not much of a big deal.

Anyway, this blog will be super random. I started thinking about how happy I am to see more small creative projects done by people I know. I went to school for art, but it's much more excited to see people create something when they say "I'm not an artist!" mainly because they actually are lol

It's my impression that drawing and painting are not the only art forms. I believe anything that is created, be it words for speech, innovative ideas, planning, these are a form of creativity. Besides, the act of even attempting something by drawing of crafting makes me happy. It seems that when people craft, they focus on crafting. It's almost like they're soothing themselves and are at peace. It's nice :)

Now it's time to sleep....after I finish watching Paranormal State (i frickin' love this show because Chip Coffey is so awesome! haha). G'night world.

Mon

A New Year!

Happy New Year lovely's!

I hope all is well. I've been away for quite some time, right? Well I've been a bit busy mentally and a bit physically. I've been working and relaxing. I've been job searching and trying to figure out what my next move will be. So last year was very interesting.

Last year I spent a lot of time observing others and observing myself in comparison. I've been thinking "is this all there is to life?" because each time there is something different.

For example, I've recently wondered why things annoy me (I honestly get annoyed easily, but I rarely get angry if that helps lol), and I came to the assumption that it's because there are just certain things I dislike and that it's not for me. You're probably like "well, what does that do for you?"

Well for one, it helps me see things that I don't want to be. That's a huge thing. It helps me understand myself as a person, and not look at the other people and thinking that they should be what I want them to be. I see them, I see what annoys me, but it's not truly their fault that they're annoying me, they are creating a thing that is annoying to me and they may not be aware of this.

Now this is just me. Perhaps it's only for me to see things this way for myself as I believe each soul.individual is different. I once read within my birth chart (if you believe in this kind of stuff), that me being a bit less biased and a bit more tolerant and what other believe and what they do, would benefit me. Because this is strong part of my personality, I believe that it's in the forefront for a reason.

Another great example, I use to watch television as a kid. Yet, now that I'm older, I'm not that interested and wasting hours, but whenever I see my family do this I start to judge and think to myself "they're just wasting time" or "how can they just sit there and do that all day?" and I realize that this wasn't a problem for me growing up. It's due to my new state of mind. I shouldn't judge them. I should allow people to be who they are and make their own choices.

I've also noticed that it's a lot harder for me to just accept that my family does certain things. Such as overindulgence in junk food, or making choices where it makes zero sense to me. But I've come to see that it makes zero sense to me, because I'm not them and I'm not in their place. I believe this is where active listening comes in hand. It's putting your own person feelings aside and placing yourself in the other person's shoes.

So this is what most of last year looked like. I also graduated last year in June, and since June I've been working on  myself and trying to work on projects. This year I'd like to commit and complete a lot of the projects I started. This to mainly for myself and to prove to myself once again that I'm capable of working hard and producing good work. I don't know what, but I get this way. Where I question if I'm capable of something even though I've proven to myself in the past that I am. BUT, it takes work, and I hate hard work lol So that's a thing haha

I'm also guessing that this year I should spend some time understanding myself in comparison to others as well. I gotta say that this is kind of fun, but I've become a lot more serious about this though. It's truly a shame. I get super quiet and my family starts to think that something's wrong with me haha they're like "she just gets like this, and we leave her alone" or they think I just don't want to be bothered. Sometimes it's true, sometimes it isn't

Well, enough about me. How was your previous year? If it wasn't so good, let's work to make this year better. I'm not saying it will be easy, but if you see what you want, work towards it. It will take time, so be willing to work, okay!

Some of the most successful people became successful by working. I'm not talking about the one's who were handed their wealth, but I mean the people who worked from nothing and came up. Those kinds of people really exist. And if you read their stories, you'll see that they worked hard and never gave up.

Recently I've been reading about people who accumulated wealth, and they view time and money very differently than the lower and middle class. I swear it's interesting! What's even more interesting is that people bash the wealthy for their wealth Will there ever be a time when someone isn't bashing someone else for who they are, what they own, and what they look like? I mean seriously haha at this point it really feels like I'm watching a sitcom where everyone sits around bashing what they don't like about the other, rather than learning about how they got from where they were to where they are now. Those are stories of journeys. I'd like to believe some people didn't use illegal ways to get to where they are, but I'm sure that would be a naive way of thinking, right?

Regardless, I hope that understanding that something is very possible and that it takes the right mindset, effort and work to achieve it. Besides being positive will boost your confidence in yourself and make you feel better. Even if you work an hour a day or even five to ten minutes a day to achieve your goal, it's one step more than where you were at previously.

On that note, I'd like to send a prayer to those we've lost in the previous year and acknowledge some of the unfortunate and truly heartbreaking moment of last year, but open my arms to the upcoming year in hopes that we're become a bit smarter, a bit more kinder and a bit more wiser and that we're progressing beyond our hate, that those who are not well and seeking love and guidance will be helped, and that we'll become a better version of ourselves each day.

I'm always looking towards a better tomorrow, as we all should, and it's starts with us.

Mon