Is it me, or does it seem like some people just don't want to accept loving messages, or love in general? It's like they think they aren't worthy of it!
Hey everyone!
It's been a while, but I can say that I graduated from college! Woooo~ It was a long journey, but I met a lot of nice people, and appreciate the experience. I don't think I was in school for too long, although, possibly, by some other's idea of what is considered the normal length to stay in school, nine years is much too long! Well I enjoyed it. I did start to wonder what would be next in my life. Honestly, even in college, I took what came to me and worked with it. I'm not sure if this is how life is suppose to go, as most people have a goal, whereas my goal is to just do what I feel I should be doing.
So at the moment I've been watching more tutorials. Honestly my life is quite simple lol Just a bunch of learning and experiencing. I'll simply think "I want to try this" and then I'll sit down and learn about what I'd like to try.
Anyway, I'm done! I was having a chat with a friend of mines on facebook and she just kept saying how she didn't like the school we graduated from lol I thought I didn't, but I didn't dislike everything about the school. I liked most of my teachers, I really loved the students and the computers...well I used my laptop lol There were plenty of resources available for us! I loved it...they also gave us free coffee at the start of the quarter lol
Even my time at my community college was pretty neat! I met some people there that are also on my facebook. Wherever I went, I added someone on my facebook lol But at the community college, I got my first job opportunity there! It was such a surprise because it was very easy. I'm sure it was for the best because it was during that time that my mom quit her job. I was happy to be working at helping. Not just that but it was at the school I was attending and I didn't have to worry about transportation.
When I left there I went to a campus in Tinley Park to take some of my core classes. I met a very great teacher! She's such a cool person and we even came across each other at my portfolio show. I was so happy!! Anyways, she was such a nice teacher/friend and I appreciated her listen to be babble like a baby, crying sometimes and I even almost fainted once after giving blood for the first time (that also happen there!) There was also another one at the campus I graduated from who was there when that happened! Every time I passed her office I would say "hello" and I always thought she looked familiar because I constantly passed her office to go see my Academic Director, but no, she was at the Tinley campus! I felt so bad for not knowing this, but I really liked her too xD
There was also a teacher at the Tinley campus who was in his 20s! He was pretty handsome and he got embarrassed easily and wasn't use to talking to a class when it came to teaching. A lot of the girls liked him xD It was funny. I thought he was pretty cute *winks* We also had a smores day during the summer once and I had my first smore! It was awesome because I thought I didn't like marshmallows. But who knew marshmallows tasted delightful with chocolate~~
Anyways, I knew I would return to the Chicago campus eventually, and I was nervous because I knew my work wasn't up to par. But I didn't care. I did explain that I didn't know a lot due to not being taught much at Tinley, but I wouldn't trade in my experiences there. So I just had to work hard in order to catch up. It wasn't easy because I felt like a few of the teachers and some of the students looked down on my work.
However, I knew that it was okay to be learning because I was in school. So I worked and worked. :) And I kept going without judging myself. I do sometime wonder how people are capable of using certain softwares and how they make their work look a certain way, but I understand that that comes from learning and practice. So I don't rush the experience now, especially since I've graduated.
I don't think I'm done. I always feel like I'll be learning. :) I think the next thing I want to do is take another painting class. I mainly like classes because of the atmosphere and being able to see other people's work,but also it's nice to be around other people who are artist as well.
Oh! By the way, I believe everyone is an artist is some way. You guys are just very unaware of it. We create every single day without thinking about it. I think most artist are just aware that they create. For example, when you put on make-up (which is something I can't do lol), that's art! When you put together a meal, you are creating something.Even when you string together words, it's like poetry. You are all little poets, even if you cuss xD
Most people might assume that art is only drawing, painting, etc. But art is creation and expression. I think we place too many definitions to things, which over-complicates them.
If you want to know, I create art 1. for myself (because I want to see what I'm capable of) and 2. for others to see. I also have many ideas stringing through my mind anyways, so I try to work them out. When I create things, it's mainly for the purpose of the idea, and if people view it, that's cool too. My Portfolio teacher kept mentioning impressing people. I don't/didn't like that. I don't think we should create to impress. It loses it's meaning if we do that.
For the Portfolio show we had to sale ourselves, and even though I said I don't like the phrasing, I did just that lol I think I even said it a few times xD But what I was meaning to express was willingness to help others bring their ideas to life. I don't mind helping with this. I don't need to sell anything about who I am, if someone is interested, it'll be known.
Besides, looking for validation may weaken the purpose. Also, when I use to doodle during class it was a way for me to make it through a boring lecture or to get me through the day.
Oh! One other thing, about what I said at the very beginning, people are so weird. I'm watching this video on youtube by a channel called Channeling Erik. Usually there are like 3 or 4 common mediums/psychics who channel Erik and Erik helps by giving loving advice (Erik was the son of the woman who created the channel. He committed suicide and dedicates a lot of time to helping others from the otherside) but sometimes they'll channel other beings who the viewers would recommend the spirits they would like to hear from and ask questions about their lifetime.
My favorite psychic is Jamie! :) I feel she's pretty authentic. There's also another one, but I'm not certain of her name though. Anyways, she channeled Martin Luther King, Jr. and boy are some of the people being negative. They say things like "She's not really channeling him!" or "Fake! He would never say that!" I'm sure these kinds of comments are common, but I see it like this, as long as the messages are of love and healing, why does it matter?? It's coming from a loving source. The idea that it's coming from a particular person helps people feel a sense of peace. Why do some people feel the need to strip that away from people??
It's just like with religion. I have nothing against religious people. I don't mind them as long as they don't try to convert me or judge me. But I do become bothered by the extremist who spew hate and judge, and discredit others or look down on them. Mainly because I don't think religions teach hate. They're usually a guide to live by to have a peaceful existence right? So where is the hate coming from??
If there was meant to be one religion, I sure there would be ONE religion. There is ONE purpose, and it's to have a peace of mind and have harmony and love. But a lot of people take what they learn and try to turn it into something negative, but they don't think it's there fault, they believe it's the outside world who's at fault.
Anyway, I feel that Jamie is genuine and I like Erik. :) So that's all that matters. But it does bug me that although she isn't saying anything negative, people like to try to make it negative. Besides, how do they know what MLK is saying? They aren't him!
Actually, that's another thing that bugs me. People speak as if they were a certain person in order to make themselves sound more convincing. This is fine in a sense, and I have nothing against it because this is taught in school (finds facts to back up your argument), however it doesn't mean it's the only way.
I once had a conversation with a girl who was really trying to convince me that being gay was wrong because it's not genetic and that scientist have said it's not. I told her it was fine to see things that way, but that it's possible gay people won't see it that way. Simply put, if a scientist is a scientist and not gay, it would be quite easy to make that assumption in the name of science. I also told her that if she's going to make a claim based on science, then it would mean she believes everything scientist would state as facts (as she claimed that she goes by facts), and that because she believes in facts, God can't be a part of those beliefs (because she believes in Jesus and God). But she didn't want to believe that. Which means she'll take only some of what scientist claim to make her argument sound.
Anyway, people are actually quite interesting. I've had a few encounters like this would people recently. I'm not trying to argue with anyone, but I can see quite a few flaws in the way they try to preach things. I see them in mines as well, but let's stop playing as if we know everything and accept that sometimes we aren't always right.
Well, that's my update! I graduated, reflected on my school life and I'm watching tutorials now.
Oh! You know, actually something that makes me a bit nervous, or something I don't want to happen, is when I get to the point where I can simply say "I've been working at this for such and such amount of years, I understand it like it's the back of my hand" I don't want to understand anything to that extent. I want to keep learning lol I wouldn't be surprised if the reason I incarnated was just to experience life, But if this is how I am, so be it. Of course I would wonder what the purpose is, but if it's similar to be going to school, it's simply to experience it and learn something new.
Actually, before I go, I do wonder what lives I may have had, not because I want to only know who I was, but because 1. I want to know why I chose a certain gender and 2. what skills I've learned that I can apply in this life. But I believe that we'll bring with us whatever skills we may need in this life from previous lives. I think, as souls, we kind of have an idea of what we'll need. I have read once about souls who only bring a small percentage of our spiritual energy here into life, and that they wish they brought a bit more, but that's very minor.Anyways, I'm interested in skills more than anything. Why? I have no idea. Oh! And the people that I've known who I know today. A lot of people come in and out of my life. A lot of them don't stay for very long and we stop keeping in touch, but I'm sure the meeting wasn't unimportant.
Now I'm done! If you were ever wondering if I'm interested in that kind of stuff. :)
Mon
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