Hi!
I'll just get to the point before I forget what I was going to type. So far I've had two dreams that had similar situations. Looking at it while awake it seems a bit far-fetched, but I'll share it anyways. I've had two separate dreams where the fence in our backyard is knocked down and the dogs from next door started to attack our dogs.
The second was one I had this morning. The number 180 kept coming up. In the dream my cousin was coming back up to Illinois and she said she'll be taking train 180. Even in my dream I found this a bit odd because I've never heard of a 180 train.
Upon awaking the number 180 stayed in the forefront of my mind and then it slowly started to fade away as I watched a few videos on youtube. Unfortunately, I've had dreams in the past that I didn't share because I flt they just weren't necessary, and yet despite this thought, I do believe dreams can carry messages.
Anyways, perhaps I'm under the impression that only certain dreams are important, while others aren't. I think it's true to some extent, but perhaps there's something in all. Regardless I'm not sure what this number might mean, but since it stood out, I typed it.
Oh! I also spent a bit of time following the Irma Hurricane live steams on youtube. Eventually I was thinking to myself that the storm won't be so strong. I said this to mainly put my mind at ease, but it was nice to hear that it downgraded to a Category 2...or was it a 3? Regardless, I think the damage wasn't so bad. I am happy that people heeded the orders though, I mean, with storms and natural disasters they can become unpredictable and as much as humans would like to think they can control them, sometimes that's not the case. So I'm glad that a lot of people listened. Now I feel that it's important that everything is smooth moving forward and they can repair with ease, the same goes for Houston and those effected by the hurricane there.
With that being said, I hope everyone's day is going well. If not, let's try to find a way to make it better by viewing the brighter side of the situation. It can be hard, I think it's possible. It really depends on how far out of the situation we're wiling to go.
Mon
Wednesday, September 13, 2017
Monday, June 26, 2017
Update 06/26/17
Is it me, or does it seem like some people just don't want to accept loving messages, or love in general? It's like they think they aren't worthy of it!
Hey everyone!
It's been a while, but I can say that I graduated from college! Woooo~ It was a long journey, but I met a lot of nice people, and appreciate the experience. I don't think I was in school for too long, although, possibly, by some other's idea of what is considered the normal length to stay in school, nine years is much too long! Well I enjoyed it. I did start to wonder what would be next in my life. Honestly, even in college, I took what came to me and worked with it. I'm not sure if this is how life is suppose to go, as most people have a goal, whereas my goal is to just do what I feel I should be doing.
So at the moment I've been watching more tutorials. Honestly my life is quite simple lol Just a bunch of learning and experiencing. I'll simply think "I want to try this" and then I'll sit down and learn about what I'd like to try.
Anyway, I'm done! I was having a chat with a friend of mines on facebook and she just kept saying how she didn't like the school we graduated from lol I thought I didn't, but I didn't dislike everything about the school. I liked most of my teachers, I really loved the students and the computers...well I used my laptop lol There were plenty of resources available for us! I loved it...they also gave us free coffee at the start of the quarter lol
Even my time at my community college was pretty neat! I met some people there that are also on my facebook. Wherever I went, I added someone on my facebook lol But at the community college, I got my first job opportunity there! It was such a surprise because it was very easy. I'm sure it was for the best because it was during that time that my mom quit her job. I was happy to be working at helping. Not just that but it was at the school I was attending and I didn't have to worry about transportation.
When I left there I went to a campus in Tinley Park to take some of my core classes. I met a very great teacher! She's such a cool person and we even came across each other at my portfolio show. I was so happy!! Anyways, she was such a nice teacher/friend and I appreciated her listen to be babble like a baby, crying sometimes and I even almost fainted once after giving blood for the first time (that also happen there!) There was also another one at the campus I graduated from who was there when that happened! Every time I passed her office I would say "hello" and I always thought she looked familiar because I constantly passed her office to go see my Academic Director, but no, she was at the Tinley campus! I felt so bad for not knowing this, but I really liked her too xD
There was also a teacher at the Tinley campus who was in his 20s! He was pretty handsome and he got embarrassed easily and wasn't use to talking to a class when it came to teaching. A lot of the girls liked him xD It was funny. I thought he was pretty cute *winks* We also had a smores day during the summer once and I had my first smore! It was awesome because I thought I didn't like marshmallows. But who knew marshmallows tasted delightful with chocolate~~
Anyways, I knew I would return to the Chicago campus eventually, and I was nervous because I knew my work wasn't up to par. But I didn't care. I did explain that I didn't know a lot due to not being taught much at Tinley, but I wouldn't trade in my experiences there. So I just had to work hard in order to catch up. It wasn't easy because I felt like a few of the teachers and some of the students looked down on my work.
However, I knew that it was okay to be learning because I was in school. So I worked and worked. :) And I kept going without judging myself. I do sometime wonder how people are capable of using certain softwares and how they make their work look a certain way, but I understand that that comes from learning and practice. So I don't rush the experience now, especially since I've graduated.
I don't think I'm done. I always feel like I'll be learning. :) I think the next thing I want to do is take another painting class. I mainly like classes because of the atmosphere and being able to see other people's work,but also it's nice to be around other people who are artist as well.
Oh! By the way, I believe everyone is an artist is some way. You guys are just very unaware of it. We create every single day without thinking about it. I think most artist are just aware that they create. For example, when you put on make-up (which is something I can't do lol), that's art! When you put together a meal, you are creating something.Even when you string together words, it's like poetry. You are all little poets, even if you cuss xD
Most people might assume that art is only drawing, painting, etc. But art is creation and expression. I think we place too many definitions to things, which over-complicates them.
If you want to know, I create art 1. for myself (because I want to see what I'm capable of) and 2. for others to see. I also have many ideas stringing through my mind anyways, so I try to work them out. When I create things, it's mainly for the purpose of the idea, and if people view it, that's cool too. My Portfolio teacher kept mentioning impressing people. I don't/didn't like that. I don't think we should create to impress. It loses it's meaning if we do that.
For the Portfolio show we had to sale ourselves, and even though I said I don't like the phrasing, I did just that lol I think I even said it a few times xD But what I was meaning to express was willingness to help others bring their ideas to life. I don't mind helping with this. I don't need to sell anything about who I am, if someone is interested, it'll be known.
Besides, looking for validation may weaken the purpose. Also, when I use to doodle during class it was a way for me to make it through a boring lecture or to get me through the day.
Oh! One other thing, about what I said at the very beginning, people are so weird. I'm watching this video on youtube by a channel called Channeling Erik. Usually there are like 3 or 4 common mediums/psychics who channel Erik and Erik helps by giving loving advice (Erik was the son of the woman who created the channel. He committed suicide and dedicates a lot of time to helping others from the otherside) but sometimes they'll channel other beings who the viewers would recommend the spirits they would like to hear from and ask questions about their lifetime.
My favorite psychic is Jamie! :) I feel she's pretty authentic. There's also another one, but I'm not certain of her name though. Anyways, she channeled Martin Luther King, Jr. and boy are some of the people being negative. They say things like "She's not really channeling him!" or "Fake! He would never say that!" I'm sure these kinds of comments are common, but I see it like this, as long as the messages are of love and healing, why does it matter?? It's coming from a loving source. The idea that it's coming from a particular person helps people feel a sense of peace. Why do some people feel the need to strip that away from people??
It's just like with religion. I have nothing against religious people. I don't mind them as long as they don't try to convert me or judge me. But I do become bothered by the extremist who spew hate and judge, and discredit others or look down on them. Mainly because I don't think religions teach hate. They're usually a guide to live by to have a peaceful existence right? So where is the hate coming from??
If there was meant to be one religion, I sure there would be ONE religion. There is ONE purpose, and it's to have a peace of mind and have harmony and love. But a lot of people take what they learn and try to turn it into something negative, but they don't think it's there fault, they believe it's the outside world who's at fault.
Anyway, I feel that Jamie is genuine and I like Erik. :) So that's all that matters. But it does bug me that although she isn't saying anything negative, people like to try to make it negative. Besides, how do they know what MLK is saying? They aren't him!
Actually, that's another thing that bugs me. People speak as if they were a certain person in order to make themselves sound more convincing. This is fine in a sense, and I have nothing against it because this is taught in school (finds facts to back up your argument), however it doesn't mean it's the only way.
I once had a conversation with a girl who was really trying to convince me that being gay was wrong because it's not genetic and that scientist have said it's not. I told her it was fine to see things that way, but that it's possible gay people won't see it that way. Simply put, if a scientist is a scientist and not gay, it would be quite easy to make that assumption in the name of science. I also told her that if she's going to make a claim based on science, then it would mean she believes everything scientist would state as facts (as she claimed that she goes by facts), and that because she believes in facts, God can't be a part of those beliefs (because she believes in Jesus and God). But she didn't want to believe that. Which means she'll take only some of what scientist claim to make her argument sound.
Anyway, people are actually quite interesting. I've had a few encounters like this would people recently. I'm not trying to argue with anyone, but I can see quite a few flaws in the way they try to preach things. I see them in mines as well, but let's stop playing as if we know everything and accept that sometimes we aren't always right.
Well, that's my update! I graduated, reflected on my school life and I'm watching tutorials now.
Oh! You know, actually something that makes me a bit nervous, or something I don't want to happen, is when I get to the point where I can simply say "I've been working at this for such and such amount of years, I understand it like it's the back of my hand" I don't want to understand anything to that extent. I want to keep learning lol I wouldn't be surprised if the reason I incarnated was just to experience life, But if this is how I am, so be it. Of course I would wonder what the purpose is, but if it's similar to be going to school, it's simply to experience it and learn something new.
Actually, before I go, I do wonder what lives I may have had, not because I want to only know who I was, but because 1. I want to know why I chose a certain gender and 2. what skills I've learned that I can apply in this life. But I believe that we'll bring with us whatever skills we may need in this life from previous lives. I think, as souls, we kind of have an idea of what we'll need. I have read once about souls who only bring a small percentage of our spiritual energy here into life, and that they wish they brought a bit more, but that's very minor.Anyways, I'm interested in skills more than anything. Why? I have no idea. Oh! And the people that I've known who I know today. A lot of people come in and out of my life. A lot of them don't stay for very long and we stop keeping in touch, but I'm sure the meeting wasn't unimportant.
Now I'm done! If you were ever wondering if I'm interested in that kind of stuff. :)
Mon
Hey everyone!
It's been a while, but I can say that I graduated from college! Woooo~ It was a long journey, but I met a lot of nice people, and appreciate the experience. I don't think I was in school for too long, although, possibly, by some other's idea of what is considered the normal length to stay in school, nine years is much too long! Well I enjoyed it. I did start to wonder what would be next in my life. Honestly, even in college, I took what came to me and worked with it. I'm not sure if this is how life is suppose to go, as most people have a goal, whereas my goal is to just do what I feel I should be doing.
So at the moment I've been watching more tutorials. Honestly my life is quite simple lol Just a bunch of learning and experiencing. I'll simply think "I want to try this" and then I'll sit down and learn about what I'd like to try.
Anyway, I'm done! I was having a chat with a friend of mines on facebook and she just kept saying how she didn't like the school we graduated from lol I thought I didn't, but I didn't dislike everything about the school. I liked most of my teachers, I really loved the students and the computers...well I used my laptop lol There were plenty of resources available for us! I loved it...they also gave us free coffee at the start of the quarter lol
Even my time at my community college was pretty neat! I met some people there that are also on my facebook. Wherever I went, I added someone on my facebook lol But at the community college, I got my first job opportunity there! It was such a surprise because it was very easy. I'm sure it was for the best because it was during that time that my mom quit her job. I was happy to be working at helping. Not just that but it was at the school I was attending and I didn't have to worry about transportation.
When I left there I went to a campus in Tinley Park to take some of my core classes. I met a very great teacher! She's such a cool person and we even came across each other at my portfolio show. I was so happy!! Anyways, she was such a nice teacher/friend and I appreciated her listen to be babble like a baby, crying sometimes and I even almost fainted once after giving blood for the first time (that also happen there!) There was also another one at the campus I graduated from who was there when that happened! Every time I passed her office I would say "hello" and I always thought she looked familiar because I constantly passed her office to go see my Academic Director, but no, she was at the Tinley campus! I felt so bad for not knowing this, but I really liked her too xD
There was also a teacher at the Tinley campus who was in his 20s! He was pretty handsome and he got embarrassed easily and wasn't use to talking to a class when it came to teaching. A lot of the girls liked him xD It was funny. I thought he was pretty cute *winks* We also had a smores day during the summer once and I had my first smore! It was awesome because I thought I didn't like marshmallows. But who knew marshmallows tasted delightful with chocolate~~
Anyways, I knew I would return to the Chicago campus eventually, and I was nervous because I knew my work wasn't up to par. But I didn't care. I did explain that I didn't know a lot due to not being taught much at Tinley, but I wouldn't trade in my experiences there. So I just had to work hard in order to catch up. It wasn't easy because I felt like a few of the teachers and some of the students looked down on my work.
However, I knew that it was okay to be learning because I was in school. So I worked and worked. :) And I kept going without judging myself. I do sometime wonder how people are capable of using certain softwares and how they make their work look a certain way, but I understand that that comes from learning and practice. So I don't rush the experience now, especially since I've graduated.
I don't think I'm done. I always feel like I'll be learning. :) I think the next thing I want to do is take another painting class. I mainly like classes because of the atmosphere and being able to see other people's work,but also it's nice to be around other people who are artist as well.
Oh! By the way, I believe everyone is an artist is some way. You guys are just very unaware of it. We create every single day without thinking about it. I think most artist are just aware that they create. For example, when you put on make-up (which is something I can't do lol), that's art! When you put together a meal, you are creating something.Even when you string together words, it's like poetry. You are all little poets, even if you cuss xD
Most people might assume that art is only drawing, painting, etc. But art is creation and expression. I think we place too many definitions to things, which over-complicates them.
If you want to know, I create art 1. for myself (because I want to see what I'm capable of) and 2. for others to see. I also have many ideas stringing through my mind anyways, so I try to work them out. When I create things, it's mainly for the purpose of the idea, and if people view it, that's cool too. My Portfolio teacher kept mentioning impressing people. I don't/didn't like that. I don't think we should create to impress. It loses it's meaning if we do that.
For the Portfolio show we had to sale ourselves, and even though I said I don't like the phrasing, I did just that lol I think I even said it a few times xD But what I was meaning to express was willingness to help others bring their ideas to life. I don't mind helping with this. I don't need to sell anything about who I am, if someone is interested, it'll be known.
Besides, looking for validation may weaken the purpose. Also, when I use to doodle during class it was a way for me to make it through a boring lecture or to get me through the day.
Oh! One other thing, about what I said at the very beginning, people are so weird. I'm watching this video on youtube by a channel called Channeling Erik. Usually there are like 3 or 4 common mediums/psychics who channel Erik and Erik helps by giving loving advice (Erik was the son of the woman who created the channel. He committed suicide and dedicates a lot of time to helping others from the otherside) but sometimes they'll channel other beings who the viewers would recommend the spirits they would like to hear from and ask questions about their lifetime.
My favorite psychic is Jamie! :) I feel she's pretty authentic. There's also another one, but I'm not certain of her name though. Anyways, she channeled Martin Luther King, Jr. and boy are some of the people being negative. They say things like "She's not really channeling him!" or "Fake! He would never say that!" I'm sure these kinds of comments are common, but I see it like this, as long as the messages are of love and healing, why does it matter?? It's coming from a loving source. The idea that it's coming from a particular person helps people feel a sense of peace. Why do some people feel the need to strip that away from people??
It's just like with religion. I have nothing against religious people. I don't mind them as long as they don't try to convert me or judge me. But I do become bothered by the extremist who spew hate and judge, and discredit others or look down on them. Mainly because I don't think religions teach hate. They're usually a guide to live by to have a peaceful existence right? So where is the hate coming from??
If there was meant to be one religion, I sure there would be ONE religion. There is ONE purpose, and it's to have a peace of mind and have harmony and love. But a lot of people take what they learn and try to turn it into something negative, but they don't think it's there fault, they believe it's the outside world who's at fault.
Anyway, I feel that Jamie is genuine and I like Erik. :) So that's all that matters. But it does bug me that although she isn't saying anything negative, people like to try to make it negative. Besides, how do they know what MLK is saying? They aren't him!
Actually, that's another thing that bugs me. People speak as if they were a certain person in order to make themselves sound more convincing. This is fine in a sense, and I have nothing against it because this is taught in school (finds facts to back up your argument), however it doesn't mean it's the only way.
I once had a conversation with a girl who was really trying to convince me that being gay was wrong because it's not genetic and that scientist have said it's not. I told her it was fine to see things that way, but that it's possible gay people won't see it that way. Simply put, if a scientist is a scientist and not gay, it would be quite easy to make that assumption in the name of science. I also told her that if she's going to make a claim based on science, then it would mean she believes everything scientist would state as facts (as she claimed that she goes by facts), and that because she believes in facts, God can't be a part of those beliefs (because she believes in Jesus and God). But she didn't want to believe that. Which means she'll take only some of what scientist claim to make her argument sound.
Anyway, people are actually quite interesting. I've had a few encounters like this would people recently. I'm not trying to argue with anyone, but I can see quite a few flaws in the way they try to preach things. I see them in mines as well, but let's stop playing as if we know everything and accept that sometimes we aren't always right.
Well, that's my update! I graduated, reflected on my school life and I'm watching tutorials now.
Oh! You know, actually something that makes me a bit nervous, or something I don't want to happen, is when I get to the point where I can simply say "I've been working at this for such and such amount of years, I understand it like it's the back of my hand" I don't want to understand anything to that extent. I want to keep learning lol I wouldn't be surprised if the reason I incarnated was just to experience life, But if this is how I am, so be it. Of course I would wonder what the purpose is, but if it's similar to be going to school, it's simply to experience it and learn something new.
Actually, before I go, I do wonder what lives I may have had, not because I want to only know who I was, but because 1. I want to know why I chose a certain gender and 2. what skills I've learned that I can apply in this life. But I believe that we'll bring with us whatever skills we may need in this life from previous lives. I think, as souls, we kind of have an idea of what we'll need. I have read once about souls who only bring a small percentage of our spiritual energy here into life, and that they wish they brought a bit more, but that's very minor.Anyways, I'm interested in skills more than anything. Why? I have no idea. Oh! And the people that I've known who I know today. A lot of people come in and out of my life. A lot of them don't stay for very long and we stop keeping in touch, but I'm sure the meeting wasn't unimportant.
Now I'm done! If you were ever wondering if I'm interested in that kind of stuff. :)
Mon
Wednesday, April 12, 2017
An Insomniac?
I can't sleep and I have to get up to go to sleep at 5 a.m. It could be that I had coffee earlier yesterday, but honestly I think I'm just tired of my school. I'm tried of how I just can't be my creative self there and I'm tried of being told how I'm just not working like others. It's annoying to try to be made into something I'm not and it's taking a toll on me.
So I just emailed my teacher and told him I'm not coming in. It'd be a waste for me if I only get an hour or so of sleep. That can't be healthy at all. Besides, my mental state is kind of being kicked around like a volleyball and I just seriously need a break to put things in perspective. Recently a chain of events has caused me a bit of stress, but I've been managing and I know I need to find a way to cope with the situation.
Well, this isn't the first time this has happened. With or without coffee sometimes I'll get like this. It usually happens when I'm anxious or too excited and my mind just starts going. Sometimes during the night I'll flip over and suddenly my mind will start trying to piece together how I'll complete an assignment. Sometimes I'll even dream about working on homework! I'm like "wtf, am I a work-a-holic!"
It drives me nuts sometimes and I know I'll be irritated if I have to go to school and deal with the situation I told you about. It'll be wasting my time and energy. So this is more of necessity than me just whining. I should listen to my body for once.
On another note, that's pretty much all I've been doing is homework. I have to say I'm a little excited to be moving forward, but it kind of bugs me that my teacher said that I might just fail even though it's only the second week of class.That really bugs me. Perhaps I'll type about that in another blog.
I'm gonna try to sleep again. I need sleep! It must happen! lol I hope getting some of my thoughts out would help. Oh! By the way, while I'm trying to sleep, even the tiniest irregular noise will get my mind going lol Mainly I'll focus on that sound. Geez, right?
Mon
So I just emailed my teacher and told him I'm not coming in. It'd be a waste for me if I only get an hour or so of sleep. That can't be healthy at all. Besides, my mental state is kind of being kicked around like a volleyball and I just seriously need a break to put things in perspective. Recently a chain of events has caused me a bit of stress, but I've been managing and I know I need to find a way to cope with the situation.
Well, this isn't the first time this has happened. With or without coffee sometimes I'll get like this. It usually happens when I'm anxious or too excited and my mind just starts going. Sometimes during the night I'll flip over and suddenly my mind will start trying to piece together how I'll complete an assignment. Sometimes I'll even dream about working on homework! I'm like "wtf, am I a work-a-holic!"
It drives me nuts sometimes and I know I'll be irritated if I have to go to school and deal with the situation I told you about. It'll be wasting my time and energy. So this is more of necessity than me just whining. I should listen to my body for once.
On another note, that's pretty much all I've been doing is homework. I have to say I'm a little excited to be moving forward, but it kind of bugs me that my teacher said that I might just fail even though it's only the second week of class.That really bugs me. Perhaps I'll type about that in another blog.
I'm gonna try to sleep again. I need sleep! It must happen! lol I hope getting some of my thoughts out would help. Oh! By the way, while I'm trying to sleep, even the tiniest irregular noise will get my mind going lol Mainly I'll focus on that sound. Geez, right?
Mon
Friday, March 24, 2017
Update 3/24/17
Howdy!
The quarter has finally ended! Well, actually it ended on Wednesday, but somehow I feel an empty void where my homework struggles should be lol I only have a week off though, and during that week off (even at the moment) I'm packing up to move. What fun, right?! Actually, it's kind of not. It means most of my focus would be on moving, packing and unpacking. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy my mom has finally purchased her own home, which means no more moving...for her lol but when I'm well and on my way I'll have to pack up and move.
Anyways, this quarter was a tiny bit hectic. It was only hectic because I was learning a new software and trying to work on the class assignment all at the same time within 11 weeks. I'm not sure if I passed the class, but somehow my outlook on the situation seems a bit positive even if I do fail the class. I personally don't like being graded on my work (I kind of never did), but I do love learning, and I know that although I can absorb things quickly, it takes me some time to learn to apply it.
So this was my situation and my teacher told me he thinks I'm not ready for the second portion of the class. Of course I was broken up about it because I really REALLY worked very hard. It was tough to hear him say that because I really tried. Yet, I woke up one morning and thought to myself that if I take the class again, it only leaves more room for improvement. In 11 weeks I do think my work has improved, but I imagine to myself what I can produce if I'm given 11 more weeks.
The only concern I have are my loans. This is usually always the set back because I don't have control over that. *sighs* Unfortunately, there will be things out of our controls, and I just seriously hope for the best. I feel that even when I feel I should despair, it's the best time to have the most faith. I once read that when things seem to be spiraling out of control, it's our lives being put into it's correct place. So when we feel everything is spinning out of control, everything is actually falling into place.
What helps me get over my slumps are reading things by other people who have gotten over a hurdle or obstacle, or even when I see my peers working just as hard. Inspirational speeches help boost my mood as well. I'm always looking for a way to lift my spirits! But even I dislike hardships. They can sometimes take a toll. It seriously makes me want to take a nap! lol
Overall, I made it :) I didn't quite finish my final assignment for my other class (I only took two classes) because I sacrificed the time I could have used to complete it, on my portfolio class which is the prerequisite for portfolio 2, which is what I need to pass in order to graduate. Do you see why I was so hurt?
But, seriously, once I got passed my hurt feelings, I had to think about what my teacher said. He wasn't downing me, and even admitted that he recognized my drive and effort, but that my technical skill wasn't up to par. And it's true. So he more than likely had good intentions. As far as my financial situation goes, if it's meant to be, I'm sure it will be. I just hope the universe has mercy on me lol I guess I do have passion to achieve and can be ambitious when I feel challenged.
Well anyways, at the moment I'm reading an article about perseverance. It's something I kind of lack when it comes to homework and completing projects. My mind is sometimes like a little hamster on a wheel. I just want to go to new projects whenever I feel bored with something. So I'm just gonna keep reading about perseverance until I believe I can persevere lol
One interesting fact from the article that I've come across in two separate articles, is to visualize the the resolution and to stop focusing on the problem. This could come in handy! Because I don't quite do this. Recently, perhaps I am, little by little, which is better than nothing. So I just have to keep at it until I really get it! I can't wait to get over this! I have things I'd like to complete.
Oh! I have realized that sometimes when I awake in the morning, I'll start to think about ways I can do things in order to complete or get something done for my 3D assignments. I guess it's like my teacher said "just go for it!" Literally the worse that could happen is that my models come out with strange edge loops, but I can fix that. The only way to get better is to keep trying. Giving up is seriously not an option. Relaxing is though :)
So I haven't had a clear enough mind to type because of homework, and moving and just all around hectic-ness, but I'm good for now. I'd like to keep the flow I gained from this quarter in order to get a few things done, but perhaps I should allow myself to wind down a but as well. Don't want to burn myself out.
Mon
The quarter has finally ended! Well, actually it ended on Wednesday, but somehow I feel an empty void where my homework struggles should be lol I only have a week off though, and during that week off (even at the moment) I'm packing up to move. What fun, right?! Actually, it's kind of not. It means most of my focus would be on moving, packing and unpacking. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy my mom has finally purchased her own home, which means no more moving...for her lol but when I'm well and on my way I'll have to pack up and move.
Anyways, this quarter was a tiny bit hectic. It was only hectic because I was learning a new software and trying to work on the class assignment all at the same time within 11 weeks. I'm not sure if I passed the class, but somehow my outlook on the situation seems a bit positive even if I do fail the class. I personally don't like being graded on my work (I kind of never did), but I do love learning, and I know that although I can absorb things quickly, it takes me some time to learn to apply it.
So this was my situation and my teacher told me he thinks I'm not ready for the second portion of the class. Of course I was broken up about it because I really REALLY worked very hard. It was tough to hear him say that because I really tried. Yet, I woke up one morning and thought to myself that if I take the class again, it only leaves more room for improvement. In 11 weeks I do think my work has improved, but I imagine to myself what I can produce if I'm given 11 more weeks.
The only concern I have are my loans. This is usually always the set back because I don't have control over that. *sighs* Unfortunately, there will be things out of our controls, and I just seriously hope for the best. I feel that even when I feel I should despair, it's the best time to have the most faith. I once read that when things seem to be spiraling out of control, it's our lives being put into it's correct place. So when we feel everything is spinning out of control, everything is actually falling into place.
What helps me get over my slumps are reading things by other people who have gotten over a hurdle or obstacle, or even when I see my peers working just as hard. Inspirational speeches help boost my mood as well. I'm always looking for a way to lift my spirits! But even I dislike hardships. They can sometimes take a toll. It seriously makes me want to take a nap! lol
Overall, I made it :) I didn't quite finish my final assignment for my other class (I only took two classes) because I sacrificed the time I could have used to complete it, on my portfolio class which is the prerequisite for portfolio 2, which is what I need to pass in order to graduate. Do you see why I was so hurt?
But, seriously, once I got passed my hurt feelings, I had to think about what my teacher said. He wasn't downing me, and even admitted that he recognized my drive and effort, but that my technical skill wasn't up to par. And it's true. So he more than likely had good intentions. As far as my financial situation goes, if it's meant to be, I'm sure it will be. I just hope the universe has mercy on me lol I guess I do have passion to achieve and can be ambitious when I feel challenged.
Well anyways, at the moment I'm reading an article about perseverance. It's something I kind of lack when it comes to homework and completing projects. My mind is sometimes like a little hamster on a wheel. I just want to go to new projects whenever I feel bored with something. So I'm just gonna keep reading about perseverance until I believe I can persevere lol
One interesting fact from the article that I've come across in two separate articles, is to visualize the the resolution and to stop focusing on the problem. This could come in handy! Because I don't quite do this. Recently, perhaps I am, little by little, which is better than nothing. So I just have to keep at it until I really get it! I can't wait to get over this! I have things I'd like to complete.
Oh! I have realized that sometimes when I awake in the morning, I'll start to think about ways I can do things in order to complete or get something done for my 3D assignments. I guess it's like my teacher said "just go for it!" Literally the worse that could happen is that my models come out with strange edge loops, but I can fix that. The only way to get better is to keep trying. Giving up is seriously not an option. Relaxing is though :)
So I haven't had a clear enough mind to type because of homework, and moving and just all around hectic-ness, but I'm good for now. I'd like to keep the flow I gained from this quarter in order to get a few things done, but perhaps I should allow myself to wind down a but as well. Don't want to burn myself out.
Mon
Saturday, January 7, 2017
Youtube Comment
Hiya Blognuts....or BlogKnights! Yeah that sounds better lol
It seem I haven't been around, but I have. The same for social media as well. As far as blogs go, I have typed plenty of blogs, but I drafted them. They didn't feel right.
I'm here because an interesting comment came about on youtube...from me...that sounds vain. Okay, I'll explain! Sometimes when I type I feel like very helpful and genuine information is being poured in. Of course I wonder if I'm picking this up from some helpful guidance (which would most likely be the case), but I don't want to claim I'm a medium or some sort....though this seems a bit silly because I like to think everyone has the same abilities, just some are born with it heighten....it's kind of like how some children are born with extraordinary talents at a young age.
Anyway, sometimes as I'm typing information comes through and I have to catch it to make sure I'm typing it correctly...or...actually, it's more so that I don't get so caught up in whether or not I'm "getting" what is being said, more so that I type it quickly to not get caught up in it and start putting my spin on it.
This usually happens when I'm typing about ways to help us improve ourselves. I think I don't quite pick up on different souls, but it's mainly just helpful information. I never get a sense of different personalities in my typing style, so I assume it the's the same being.
So, I typed this comment on a video going by the username Channeling Erick. Mainly there is a woman, I guess she was a skeptic and she worked with a medium to channel her son Erik after his passing. I don't know much else, but I do feel the medium is legit. It's just a feeling.
In one of the videos I'm watching she is channeling Jesus, her sons Erik is there (and Erik is quite funny to me to be honest) and some other soul named Crisp is there as well. I think they just wanted to sit in. Anyway, I'm not sure if I mentioned it here or not, but I get quite emotional when I think about the life of Jesus....or rather, the Bible's rendition of it.
I should explain that I get more emotion for the people who work so hard to help out, only to have that work kind of not acknowledged the way it was intended. Because some humans are a weird confused bunch of caterpillars!
Anyways, the comment goes:
"Erik is such a character! He makes me laugh lol "I said it in my head and Erik goes "Say it out loud!" xDD
What I like about souls is that they understand that despite the life/lives they lived, they are all pretty much the same (made of the same essence), just different personalities and quirks. For some reason this seems like such a tough concept for some people to understand. Erik, and many others, are free to joke around with Jesus and many others, just not be disrespectful (even being angry or upset with something would seem to be understandable to souls). I feel like we place so much fear and guilt on things when it really isn't the case at all. I once read a book (I forgot the author's name) where the author had a whole written dialogue (or rather an automatic writing session) with "God" or The Source (of all life) and even this being had a sense of humor! We, as humans, can become so uptight on things, and I think we need to have a better sense of humor. Of course, I myself become hard on myself as well, so it's a lesson that even I have to learn.Also I can understand quite a bit of what is being said. Anyone with eyes, or maybe I should says "eyes" can see that we, as humans, are quite lost. It's very obvious. Some of us get so caught up in life that we forget that it's a lesson for us to learn and improve ourselves and to enjoy ourselves as well. Yet, we take advantage of and destroy what we're given, kind of like a child destroying their toys and constantly expecting new ones. I feel sad for this, because not only was Jesus (a person who lived thousands of years ago) sent here to lend a hand, but so many others, who have lived and passed on, have helped create a better today, only to have it spit and stepped on. Although they completed their lesson, or a piece of it (as yes they may have dealt with what they needed in that life), the job is not only up to them to help resolve. We are all a part of it! So when people are constantly hoping someone will fly down and solve everything, I won't say it's not a thing that won't happen (as there are plenty of those kinds of people living), it seems some expect them to solve everything in their live and live their lives for them. They are teachers and they give guidance, love and support. We have to work as well. To me, I always feel that Jesus is a loving and understanding individual. I'm no medium (or rather if I am, it may be second nature to me and I have no idea how to use it properly), but I have to say that I do believe what she's saying. Most people are probably looking to hear what they expect to be the truth, even though the reality of life shows us the proof of our ignorance and weaknesses. I don't think we're entirely a lost cause, I could never believe this because change is always possible. Skepticism is fine, but not everyone is a liar and people do experience things. Is it their job to prove that to you, I don't think so. I don't think they're obligated to, but some people want to help enlighten others and help. Take what people say into consideration, but you don't have to force yourself to believe it. Hold that information and see how it fit with you. If it doesn't sit well, then just drop it, if you feel there's some truth to it, sit with that idea for a while and see where it takes you. You don't have to always be the same person every single day. Feel free to change your mind on things that you feel will help you have a better outlook on life. How will something like that possibly hurt you?"
It seem I haven't been around, but I have. The same for social media as well. As far as blogs go, I have typed plenty of blogs, but I drafted them. They didn't feel right.
I'm here because an interesting comment came about on youtube...from me...that sounds vain. Okay, I'll explain! Sometimes when I type I feel like very helpful and genuine information is being poured in. Of course I wonder if I'm picking this up from some helpful guidance (which would most likely be the case), but I don't want to claim I'm a medium or some sort....though this seems a bit silly because I like to think everyone has the same abilities, just some are born with it heighten....it's kind of like how some children are born with extraordinary talents at a young age.
Anyway, sometimes as I'm typing information comes through and I have to catch it to make sure I'm typing it correctly...or...actually, it's more so that I don't get so caught up in whether or not I'm "getting" what is being said, more so that I type it quickly to not get caught up in it and start putting my spin on it.
This usually happens when I'm typing about ways to help us improve ourselves. I think I don't quite pick up on different souls, but it's mainly just helpful information. I never get a sense of different personalities in my typing style, so I assume it the's the same being.
So, I typed this comment on a video going by the username Channeling Erick. Mainly there is a woman, I guess she was a skeptic and she worked with a medium to channel her son Erik after his passing. I don't know much else, but I do feel the medium is legit. It's just a feeling.
In one of the videos I'm watching she is channeling Jesus, her sons Erik is there (and Erik is quite funny to me to be honest) and some other soul named Crisp is there as well. I think they just wanted to sit in. Anyway, I'm not sure if I mentioned it here or not, but I get quite emotional when I think about the life of Jesus....or rather, the Bible's rendition of it.
I should explain that I get more emotion for the people who work so hard to help out, only to have that work kind of not acknowledged the way it was intended. Because some humans are a weird confused bunch of caterpillars!
Anyways, the comment goes:
"Erik is such a character! He makes me laugh lol "I said it in my head and Erik goes "Say it out loud!" xDD
What I like about souls is that they understand that despite the life/lives they lived, they are all pretty much the same (made of the same essence), just different personalities and quirks. For some reason this seems like such a tough concept for some people to understand. Erik, and many others, are free to joke around with Jesus and many others, just not be disrespectful (even being angry or upset with something would seem to be understandable to souls). I feel like we place so much fear and guilt on things when it really isn't the case at all. I once read a book (I forgot the author's name) where the author had a whole written dialogue (or rather an automatic writing session) with "God" or The Source (of all life) and even this being had a sense of humor! We, as humans, can become so uptight on things, and I think we need to have a better sense of humor. Of course, I myself become hard on myself as well, so it's a lesson that even I have to learn.Also I can understand quite a bit of what is being said. Anyone with eyes, or maybe I should says "eyes" can see that we, as humans, are quite lost. It's very obvious. Some of us get so caught up in life that we forget that it's a lesson for us to learn and improve ourselves and to enjoy ourselves as well. Yet, we take advantage of and destroy what we're given, kind of like a child destroying their toys and constantly expecting new ones. I feel sad for this, because not only was Jesus (a person who lived thousands of years ago) sent here to lend a hand, but so many others, who have lived and passed on, have helped create a better today, only to have it spit and stepped on. Although they completed their lesson, or a piece of it (as yes they may have dealt with what they needed in that life), the job is not only up to them to help resolve. We are all a part of it! So when people are constantly hoping someone will fly down and solve everything, I won't say it's not a thing that won't happen (as there are plenty of those kinds of people living), it seems some expect them to solve everything in their live and live their lives for them. They are teachers and they give guidance, love and support. We have to work as well. To me, I always feel that Jesus is a loving and understanding individual. I'm no medium (or rather if I am, it may be second nature to me and I have no idea how to use it properly), but I have to say that I do believe what she's saying. Most people are probably looking to hear what they expect to be the truth, even though the reality of life shows us the proof of our ignorance and weaknesses. I don't think we're entirely a lost cause, I could never believe this because change is always possible. Skepticism is fine, but not everyone is a liar and people do experience things. Is it their job to prove that to you, I don't think so. I don't think they're obligated to, but some people want to help enlighten others and help. Take what people say into consideration, but you don't have to force yourself to believe it. Hold that information and see how it fit with you. If it doesn't sit well, then just drop it, if you feel there's some truth to it, sit with that idea for a while and see where it takes you. You don't have to always be the same person every single day. Feel free to change your mind on things that you feel will help you have a better outlook on life. How will something like that possibly hurt you?"
I'm not sure if it's possible, but can you tell what is me and what might not be? Sometimes the information comes across a bit different right? Maybe I'm paranoid but I'm trying to teach myself to trust myself...as I guess I don't do that enough. But it's more so that I don't want to make more of something that is not such a big deal.
Overall, I personally kind of like some pieces of the comment :) I should say that sometimes when I do write things come across and I'd think "why am I giving this advice, I don't even follow it completely!" I'm not perfect human, but I don't think life is about becoming a perfect super human, more than it is about having a better understanding of yourself and those around you. And understanding that at the very core, that no one can take that from you, and the same in vice versa.
I just wanted to share this. I'll write a blog about my confliction with mediumship. It's a bit confusing to me, but I also understand a bit why I refuse to want to accept such a title.
Mon
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