Friendly encounter

Hi!

Midterms are over and now I'm working on my final projects. I have to say I really enjoy taking two classes! I'm taking full advantage of this opportunity to relax a little in order to recharge. At first I was a little bummed that I had to drop down to part-time, but I found that I have some time to relax my brain when I need it. I'm not complaining! I'm enjoying this :)

On another note I ended up running into a friend that I made at my previous campus. Before transferring out to my original campus downtown I didn't have the chance to tell anyone at the old campus that I was leaving. I became a bit more bummed out that I may end up graduating at this campus and not that one. Although I stayed there only for about a year, I truly enjoyed the meeting the students and associating with the staff. It was very friendly and welcoming despite its small size.

So I was surprised to have run into her. We use to talk a lot! At the moment I was heading to the restroom before my ride came to get me from school. As soon as I walked through the door I heard someone call my name. I instantly became very happy and gave her a hug. It was so nice to see her. We sat down and chat (screw going to the potty! xD). She told me that she had to take a class downtown because it wasn't available at the other campus. We then talked about some other things, but beyond that I expressed that I was surprised to see her and to let everyone know that I'd come back to see them.

I'm planning to visit this fall because one of my favorite teachers will be getting married. She got engaged last year and I wanted to get her a gift.

I don't want to say I'm sad about leaving that campus, but that it leaves very happy memories in my mind. It's like graduating from high school and moving on in life. Knowing that you will be meeting new people and leaving those old friends behind. I do believe that there's a chance of meeting in the future, but I always feel that if that chance isn't met than I should just appreciate what I had. I was so happy at that campus! :)

I didn't want to leave for my ride, but I ended up getting a call to leave and I had to say good-bye. Well, I truly appreciate small things like this. :) In the end, I was able to explain myself a bit. It makes me feel a bit better. I tend to remember people who touch my heart very easily.

For instance, I had a very kind teacher during my junior and senior year of high school who I use to talk to as a friend. I think during those times I became emotional very easily, but she was always there to try to calm me down :) There were four art teachers in total and I loved them all dearly. This teacher was always trying to get me to express my potential in art.

Hm...speaking of art, I often questioned what I could do with my artwork. That teacher said "don't give up on art", actually, I've gotten told this a lot times in life! I think I've taken this the wrong way.  I'm thinking that I can have a lot of interest and apply them in my life. I don't have to just choose one. I always think that life is so linear. One path. One line drawn out across the paper for all eternity. But that's not it. We tend to make it seem as if "this is the one and only way" when there are so many different ways.

Hm...maybe I shouldn't say we, but me lol Yeah, me. I thought this way. But I'll stop thinking that way.

Anyway, I wanted to share this story. I thought it was a pretty interesting experience.

Mon

Guilt

I wonder if there is a poem or something with a list of things such as Greed, Guilt, Anger, Resentment, etc. It would make an interesting album!

Anyway, this morning I was telling myself today would be great, with the added exception that my mom tried to make me feel guilty for something. Actually, I'm not sure if this was her purpose, but she certainly turned the problem over to me. In other words, the problem at hand was my false and this in turn is why I assumed she was passing guilt on to me. I do not like this. 

A lot of things that I don't like, I try to eliminate and keep myself from doing it. So instead of asking someone to do something for me, I do it myself, thus if I make a mistake I can only blame myself. Then again, it's not about blaming, more  so about understanding that I have to take a different approach. I feel like this is the most healthiest way to deal with these kinds of things.

Well, I'll tell the story. My mom over exaggerates....A LOT. I'll give an example that happened yesterday. Next week is an old friend's daughter birthday. Since I have no ride there on that day my mom agreed to take me and my sister to her house to visit her and I could give her the gift I got for her daughter ahead of time. That day my sister tried to get in contact with her but she didn't answer her phone or reply back. My sister told me that something may have happened. My mom assumed that she didn't want to be bothered. She then goes to state that because she has done this plenty of times that this friend would do the same.

She seemed very very certain. Turns out the girl left her phone over someone's house and she doesn't have a land line. She does have a fb, but I think she accesses it from her cellphone. So it would make sense that she couldn't contact me or my sister through either. I accepted this. 

The thing is is that if she was indeed lying, that's okay. Because I don't know that she's lying. It's been so long since I've spoken with her and this is the first incident. Now, if I had been speaking to her and it's common for her to make constant excuses for why such and such things couldn't be done, i would take that as a clear sign that she doesn't want to do that such and such. It's not that big of a deal, it's not the end of the world either.

That wasn't the most exaggerated my mom can get, but she will often do things like this. Constantly!

So this morning we were running a bit behind for leaving out. I was putting on my boots to head out the door, she left to start up the car when I was doing this. So I pull on my boots and get ready and all and while I'm searching my purse for my house keys she yells out the car that it's 7 a.m. I knew this wasn't true (she does this a lot when she's rushing people). So I lock up and get in the car. 

As we're driving she says "We're running late. I'm gonna drop you off and you'll have to catch the bus", I check my phone and it says 6:50 a.m. But this was after driving for some time. 

We make it to our usually location at the same time as any other day and she expresses that she has to get to the shuttle bus at about 7:50 a.m. It was about 7:30-ish going on 7:40. I hurrying out the car. Now I'm sitting in the computer lab and she calls me and says "I'm still trying to get to work." and then started to go on a rant about how she waited in the car for me for 10 minutes and how I should be out the door before. I told her that she was right in front of me when I was getting my boots on. It wasn't like I was still running around to get dressed. I was literally right in front of the door.

So she says that if she gets in the car before me she'll just leave me and I"ll have to find a way to get to school. Gee, nice way of trying to make my morning horrible.

Then I got to thinking, she doesn't have to MAKE anything horrible. I don't have to feel bad about that. Of course I would appreciate it if we could communicate properly. This is something I"m trying to do. If something bothers me I'll state it. I'm trying to not say "this is your fault" mainly because I don't think this helps anything.

I don't feel guilty...or rather I won't allow this thing to make me feel guilty. When it comes to anything I would never sacrifice my well-bring or my health in order to rush somewhere. I'll get there when I get there. It's really not worth the stress.

So if she does leave before me, so be it. At least she'll make it to work and since my class isn't until noon I'll have enough time. If not, oh well. I understand that I would have to plan my time accordingly but seriously a lot of times when we plan things they can go the other way. In the past I would want to cry but what's the point in crying. I would often say "well, what can I get out of this situation?" Did I meet someone interesting? Did I see something inspiring? Did I just so happen to avoid something that could've caused me harm?

Missing a train. Being late. Misplacing something etc, these things happen. Yeah I can plan ahead, but if something is meant to happen then I'm sure it will regardless of how much we plan. All I want to do is find the good in it.

So in this situation, I don't take the negative vibe I got from the conversation, but more so the message. My mom is tried of being late. It looks bad. She could lose her job. These are things she's probably worried about. I should try to understand that. So if she has to go ahead in order to make it on time, so be it.

I think this is the best way to view this, not selfishly, but objectively.

In the end, no one can make you anything. You choose what you make yourself. Even at the expense of losing that job or friendship or whatever. If you know that it's not what you want in life, then take control of yourself in this matter and make better choices. I've never been in the situation where I've dug myself any deeper than necessary before I realize it's time to get out, but for those who do, understand that it may take a lot more work. When you dig yourself so deep into a hole, it will take a bit more effort to dig yourself out. It will take time. It will take discipline. It will take will power.

These things will only seem tough to grasp because we've lived in the clutches of what we don't want for so long, that it as become natural to us. What I find that helps is to look to others who have made it as inspiration. Drug problems. People have overcome them. Bad relationships, people have conquered them. It's very possible.

And if it hasn't been conquered be the first to do it. It's very possible. Start with telling yourself this.

You can do it. I know it can be done.

Mon

Me + Recycling

Hi!

How are you?

I'm doing great today! I decided to try something new. Last year I started this trend of trying something new. I started small though, such as going to hangout when I would originally want to stay indoors (I'm an indoorsy kind of person). I tried tea from Argo today! I didn't know they sold green tea. I've passed this place a few times when leaving the mart/school and yet I never went to take a look despite my curiosity. So I went with two friends and it was pretty fun!

Anyway, on the cup is a recyclable symbol. Recently I search for these of things I use. It's amazing what can be recycled! For instance, McDonald's bags are recyclable! I wouldn't have thought I could recycle that!  *Mind blown...not really*

Well, this cup I have can be recycled. As you can tell from me checking out this kind of stuff, I'm interested in recycling. After looking at the cup it reminded me of my mom. My mom is one of THOSE PEOPLE who tosses tissues or bags out the window. This irritates me so much lol

That kind of action stops me in my track. It seems a bit disrespectful to me. Do you treat your home this way? Do you just throw things on the ground? She says "I'm creating jobs" just to justify that it's okay to toss garbage on the ground. This is ridiculous to me!

So anyway, she got so use to me saying something. So one time we were driving and she used a tissue, she tossed it out the window and instantly said something like "Uh-oh, she's gonna say something. It's just a tissue, I'm creating jobs" and I didn't even look at her lol I chuckled (on the inside I was laughing).

Even my sisters know how I am. I often get on them to. If I can catch them before they do it I'd tell them to just give me their garbage and I'll store it in a bag or my purse or just carry it around until I can throw it away.

I don't recycle because I think it's "right" I recycle because I know it can re-create. This is innovative. When we can take something that was and re-create it into something else, why not take advantage of it? This wasn't invented to be ignored. I don't know much about where the trash goes or recycling for that matter, but I do know that recycling can create new objects, which is enjoy for me to recycle!

I'm not an eco-friendly nut, but I do care for my community enough to not throw trash and garbage on the ground and justify it with some ridiculous reason lol

Well, that was me and recycling lol I just wanted to share this!

Mon