Juding

Hi!

I decided to blog today. Recently I've just been relaxing and I started working on a Victorian Lace blanket. It will be crocheted, so it will take time. I will post a picture when I'm done.

Anyway, I read an article about Nicki Minaj, yes the rapper, in which it stated things about her recently album and an abortion she had as a teenager. After reading the article I headed to my favorite section, the comment section.

Now, I'm all for people having an opinion about things. What I do find to be interestingly annoying are the judgement. I think somewhere along the line people don't quite understand the line between stating an opinion about something and judging someone. Most of the time they'll claim that they're just brutally honest.

Some of the things I read on there were things such as calling her a hoe, a slut and saying that she's not innocent and that she's evil. Most people would consider these people "haters." Regardless of what people call people who slam others for the choices they make, I can't help but wonder if they truly think themselves to be "innocent" or "perfect" people.

So I decided to do a bit of research about why people judge and also the difference between discernment and judging.

The first thing I found was this:

"The human mind was designed to fill gaps, we assume the intentions of people when we have missing information and this leads to incorrect judgement most of the time."

In this kind of situation I don't think the person doing the judging should not be responsible for incorrect judgement. Mainly because it's up to them to find out the truth rather than to make biased statements.

Yet, just because it's a natural ability for our minds to do this it doesn't mean we should just accept things our minds come up with.

What's interesting about this is that people are usually quick to assume that anything see in the media is true and they make assumptions about it. I'll admit I do believe my mind will instantly make assumptions, I won't pretend that it doesn't. I will also admit that I find myself saying things that I don't know are completely true. Afterwards I would think "Why the heck did I do that?" and I'd investigate my reasoning behind it. I found two things to be the possible reason:

1. Wanting to be seen as "right" or knowing about a certain topic. I think this has to do with making one's self feel good. It's a boost of confidence to know that you know something.

2. Not wanting to be wrong. I think the concept of the word wrong has led people to think that being wrong in a bad thing. My theory is because as we go to school and get graded on our homework and whatnot, we are marked as right or wrong. Of course during the 12 years (college not included) of having this drilled in our heads can do a number to us.

Yet I will always say that it's up to us on whether or not we want to move beyond this. I feel that people think that opinionated judgement are justified just because it's considered an opinion. Well, here's the thing. You likely have no idea what you're talking about.

I've kind of gotten tired of people judging others. I've kind of moved beyond it in a way. I don't hang around people who do it. I mean, what good does it to you to judge someone?

Anyway, getting back on topic. Discernment. I looked this word up a few months back to gain an understanding of it. There's a lot of definitions, but I'll go with this one:

Discernment is the ability to see and understand people, things, or situations clearly and intelligently.

Without any kind of researching (be it through questioning and getting an answer) most things we spit off are usually just our own made of conclusions. I think this causes hostility in the people being judged. I think it causes division between people.

I'll give an example. I have a friend who told me that she thought I was mean and stuck up. I'll tell you this, it is a natural thing for us to read the body language of people, more so than what we pick up from them verbally. Anyway, this friend goes on to tell me that she was dead wrong.

Now I will admit I may have a don't-bother-me look sometimes, but I exampled to her that it's when I'm thinking. I also take a while to warm up to people, but I'm usually, if not always, a goofy person. I enjoy being happy and I enjoy people being themselves without fear and worry that they can't be who they are around me.

No guy told me that he believes immature guys wouldn't gain my attention or try to talk to me because I carry myself in a no-none sense way. Interestingly enough, it may be true, but I give everyone a chance regardless.

Throughout everything I've been doing since the past two years, I decided that there's really no need not to be honest with myself. If I can't be honest with myself, than how can I consider myself to be an honest person? If I feel I'm passing judgments even in my thoughts I'll evaluate them.

Another reason we may judge is because we base it from our past experience. I can say that I believe this to be true. Most of the time if you watch or listen to someone who holds some kind of hostility about a certain thing or person, they will probably say something like "I've seen/heard/watched such and such happen myself."

Here's the thing, there are people out there breaking traditions and splitting boundaries. Things are changing and things have always been changing. If you don't believe this, look at what's been recording from history. Look at the eras that have pasted. Of course there are still people who want to hold true to those traditions. So be it. But I always feel that if something is meant to a thing of the past, it will be regardless of whether we want it to or not.

I know what it's like to have something that is truly liked and have it taken away and for me to keep thinking back on it. And this advice is coming from me. There will be new things. We will always find new interest. There is always something better.

As a kid I remember me and my sisters having lots of toys. Because we moved a lot, a lot of our toys were left behind. I was sad! I had a pink plastic seahorse toy that I would always carry around, but now I look at what I have now and I think those things don't matter anymore. The best thing that those things can give us are the memories.

The thing is never truly gone. It has left an everlasting impression on our hearts and in our minds never to be forgotten. I think that certain thing is worth appreciating for what it was and what it meant to us in our lives during that time, not that it isn't. Stop focusing on what isn't and what's not, and focus on what is and what can be. This is the most important thing,

Well, I'll cut this short. There are many more reasons people may judge. But know this, whether you want to continue to judge and bring people down, rather than to help lift people up as we are all living and breathing humans who share the same planet, this is up to you to choose. There's no rush of course. But know that you can make this choice at any minute or any second.

Mon

Classes nearing an end

I'll be officially stating my holiday break next Friday. I'm nervous and excited because my finals will be due. Actually, I feel quite blessed to have had the teachers I had this quarter. If it were for the way they decided to run their classes, this quarter would have been quite stressful for me. So I will say I'm very grateful to them. 

Well, what's due?

I have a 15 page paper that is due! It's my first fifteen page paper EVER. Yet what I like about it is the fact that it's more of a personal paper. The research is to back up what we write about. I still have to make adjustments and add in information, but I've reached nineteen pages after making the page adjustments that my teacher wants for the paper. In the beginning I felt very stifled and stuck because the teacher let us choose the topic. She constantly told me to stop worrying and write. This took me so long to get over! Eventually I made it. Now I need to gather up a few more sources to add to my bibliography. I only have tomorrow, but I'm going to do my best not to stress. As long as I have something I think it will be okay.

I also have three characters I have to completely model, rig and pose. This one is a bit more tricky, but if I manage my time wisely I should be able to complete two of the three characters. Everything isn't due until next Wednesday and Thursday, but I'm not gonna wait until than. 

I'll also continue with my webcomic beginning next Saturday (I hope!). Yet I'm gonna hold off one putting a pencil to paper until I feel more confident in my class finals begin complete. 

Overall I'm pretty happy. I did slack a bit this quarter, but not so much so that I didn't get much of anything done. The thing is is that this quarter I spent the first couple of months getting myself to a decent modeling workflow as the rest of my class. This is what took the most amount of time. The first two and half the of the third month was me literally cramming all kinds of video information and new information from my teachers into my head. 

This wore me down like crazy and I was constantly sleepy. Yet, I played video games or watched something funny in order to keep my sanity lol At one point I even had to tell myself that it was okay for me to go and hangout with my sisters and mom every once in a while. One thing I don't want to do is sacrifice my free time and time with chatting with friends and hanging out, with work work work because I feel I could definitely do something like this. When I become passionate about something, and I mean really passionate, I shut myself off from a lot of things just to focus on getting it done.

Most people would think this is good, but it's not worth shutting out your loved ones for the sake of work. This kind of thing has it's pros and cons, but it must be used efficiently and in a balanced manner. This is why I make time to chat with friends. This is why I make time to watch a funny video. Sometimes I feel that if I take a break I'll run out of time, but I imagine if I lose that occupation or that school gets shut down, then what? I couldn't go back there and I'd have to turn my attention to those I turned my back on...unless they decided to leave because I shut them out. These are things I consider. 

Now, I do find that if I take a long break it's very difficult for me to find that flow. Sometimes I can't seem to get to work. I know I can, but it takes a bit of time for me to concentrate. I guess this is what I want to avoid if I decide to stop working on something. It's like "will I be able to do decent work like this again?" or "I won't be able to get to that this point, I better take advantage of it!"

So when I'm away without typing a blog for long, it's probably because of something like school lol School is the ultimate reason. I'm usually too tired to type or my mind is too focused on school to type about anything else.

Well, on that note, I'm gonna get ready for bed.

I have quite a few things I'd like to accomplish over break, but I think I'll keep it fairly simple. I seriously owe it to my readers for waiting patiently for me to return to complete my webcomic. So I'll get to that and work on that during break. I'll have to put my other projects on hold.

Until my next Blog

See ya

Mon

Memory recall (12/02/14)

Hi!

Happy December 2nd everyone!

It's officially December. Luckily there is still no snow here. Well, I don't mind there not being any snow yet. Most people still have to go to school and I prefer that people do not have to drive in it. Although I really love the snow, I'm more concerned for others safety! ( T u T) How generous of me, right? Hahaha

Well, today I'd like to talk about memory recall. I honestly have done no research on this topic beforehand. So, just like a lot of what I type, I type this mainly for my experience, a bit of reading and my own theories. I'll probably do some research.

In the past I have (and I still do sometimes) read about dreams. I just started reading a book about how to use the brain properly. I've done a bit of reading many years ago about how the brain works in regards to the body. However, the main reason I decided to write this was because of something that happened to me the day before yesterday.

In short, I had two dreams the night before. These were the two dreams that may have been closer to the point of me waking up because I remembered it. Yet, I didn't write the dream down because I felt it didn't have any definite meaning. So I went about my day. While going about my day I began to wonder what my dream was about (and even at this moment I don't quite recall it). So I started to try to recall even a tiny piece of my dream (just like I'm doing now), and suddenly I was about to remember the gist of the dream.

One dream was about a woman who stayed in, what seemed to be, a basement living space. The day was late afternoon, possibly about the time when the sun is beginning to set and it's winter. I vaguely remember what her living space was like. But I do remember someone had broken into her home.

The second dream a was about two twins who were living in a post apocalyptic town. There was this larger lady that they couldn't stand and they left her alone to fend off zombies by herself lol they had been released from her bonding chains lol

While I was tuning in on these details I started to wonder if this is similar to recalling a memory of the past. I think what's the most difficult thing is begin able to distinguish if we're making it up or if the memory is %100 accurate. I'll explain why. Imagine if you're trying to remember something from your childhood, yet you seem to be blocked or the memory seems made up. This could very well be a memory that your mind just isn't ready to remember, or something so traumatic that your subconscious mind blocked in order to protect you from harm. I have read that this is very possible.

I find that this can be handy, and not so handy. It can be handy as a kid because as children we want to stay carefree, we're not use to mental and emotional disturbance. So we build a wall up between us in the problem. Now, this can become a problem when we carry this with us throughout our lives. It's a hidden depth in our mind that we have forgotten, yet it causes us problem in the future because we may instinctively find displeasure in something that is harmless to us, or even harmful to us in some way.

A good example of this is from a show called Trisha. I saw one particular episode in which there were two sisters. One of the sisters was into girls, and the other was okay with getting money by having sex with random men. It turns out (later in the show) that one of the girls was molested while the other watched. This created psychological damage to both of them, which caused one to dislike men, and the other to think very less of her body.

It doesn't occur to us how hurtful something from the past can be, until we realize that something is actually wrong. In a way, it hinders us from moving forward in life.

This is why, sometimes, I can't always blame people for acting up. I do become disappointed, but some people are usually in denile that there is anything wrong. So they go through life acting out.

Another good example was a serial killer. I don't recall his name, but he was a highly talked about serial killer who would store the body parts of young boys/men in the freezer of his home. Of course he was convicted. This begged me to wonder why he acted out the way he did. It turns out he had quite a few things happen to him in his childhood as well.

Now, I this doesn't excuse harmful actions, and people do have to deal with this consequences of their actions, but I do find that I have a bit of understanding for negative behavior. Do I like it? Of course not, but I do understand that a lot of things stem from somewhere.

So what does all of this have to do with anything? Well, looking beyond just the surface of this, it's what made me looking into past lives. A lot of people do not believe in past lives, but I do believe in past emotions and memories. So I respect the idea of past lives.

I do believe that it's possible that we carry with us past hurts, not just things from our childhood, but also from past lives. Yet, I feel that reaching them is very similar to remembering a dream. Dreams are at the farther and deepest depth of our mind. It's at the point when we are the most relax and have no awareness of our bodies. It's at the point where our conscious mind isn't trying to rationalize and calculate everyone (mainly when it isn't in the way to judge what's going on). However, at the very moment upon waking, what's the first thing we do when we have a crazy dream, we may say "well that was stupid" or "there's no way that could happen in real life!"  But in our minds when we're sleeping, everything is real. Have you ever had a dream where you're running away from something and it seemed so real that you were terrified? Only to awaken in your bed and find that you're completely safe.

Yesterday I was reading a book about Past Life Experiences and the author was talking about the different kinds of Psychic "gifts". I put that in quotes because I'm under the impression that everyone has a gift. Everyone is special and unique in their own way. It's just some take the time to further develop the gifts they have (I'll get back to this later). The one "gift" I want to mention is Clairvoyance. This is the ability to "see" things in your mind, or in your minds eye. After reading this part I felt that there is actually nothing quite so abnormal about this clair. A great example that they gave is imagining that a person saw a nice car at a dealership. This person is so excited about this car so when they go to tell their friend about this car, they can recall it in full detail. How? By seeing the image of the car in their mind. You get where I'm going with this right? Recalling a memory is a psychic ability. It's so natural to us that we wouldn't even claim it to be one.

Another example is imagining. From what I'm constantly reading (and I keep getting the same message again and again) is that imagining is the life of the soul. This is the world of spirit. In our world we would think it's ridiculous, but that's because we have a left-sided sidekick that sit on the left side how our head called the logical little thinker. This bugger is what helps us reason if something is good or bad for us.

This is never wrong. Using the left side of your brain isn't wrong. Some people will be more left sided, and other right sided, yet sometimes being logical can stifle your creativity. Well, some people might not care for it. Yet creativity is innovation manifested in physical reality. It's like being able to come up with the perfect dinner night so you can be lovey dovey with your mate. Or coming up with party plans for a holiday event. Some people don't care for things like this and others do.

But for all those die hard logical thinkers, I have a surprise. I definitely believe that you have a little imagination in your and you aren't always so "thinky" :) You have a presentation coming up. You plan and plan away. You want to create something different. This is even a matter of being creative. You're dwelling in a place that artist dwell. You are imagining something different.

Hm...my examples are becoming a bit bland lol Anyway, what I'm trying to say is don't just toss things away because it sounds ridiculous. Look into it. You never know what you'll find. I'm not a religious person, but I do find some parts of different religions interesting. And not just that, but if people find that you're at least trying to understand or considerate what they enjoy, there would probably be a lot less arguing and fighting. You don't have to accept or believe what someone else believes or accept as true, but you can certainly try understanding it.

Now, I can't claim to be the saint of understanding this concept in it's entirety, but I can say that even making the tiniest bit of effort has always led me on some kind of journey of discovery. If something just doesn't work for you, then just don't deal with it. But I can say that we all meet on a similar ground, maybe not in our interest, but in what we all are searching for. One thing most of us can agree on is that we have something we're interested in.

I seriously steered off topic lol The point of this is to give my theory on memory recall, and that I believe that if we did have many many lives that we have lived, I can understand why we would get a glimpse or a piece of one in this lifetime. Perhaps some event in this life trigger that memory. It's kind of similar to if you use to eat a certain kind of food, but you don't anymore, and then you get the feeling of nostalgia when you do try it.

The only reason I find past lives interesting is because there is more to us as humans, than just being buried in the ground and that being the end. I find that there is more depth to us and us living than we think. It makes more sense, to me, that the reason we have certain fears or feel a certain way is because of some incident that happened to us long ago. And not just those factors, but that the fact that we are eternal beings. Also there is an answer to why we come to live on earth, but I'll save that for another time. I will tell you this, if you'd like an answer, it will be there. It's always there and it will always be there.

In a future blog I'd like to talk about this book I recently read. :) It's really interesting. Let's just hope i remember to type it lol

That being said, I hope everyone had a lovely holiday, and if you didn't celebrate anything, I hope you had a wonderful week and are having a wonderful day.

Until the next blog
Mon