Hi!
How are you? I hope all is going well!
I've been away for quite some time. I would say I've been trying to relax, but sometimes my mind won't let me. Recently I've tried to push my restless mind aside and actually enjoy watching some series or gameplays that seem interesting. Normally it would take me months to finish a series...I mean it still does, but I've been pushing myself to just relax and not work on anything.
The issue with this is that I either go too extreme in one direction or too extreme in the other. Or I'll either feel like I'm not doing enough or am doing too much, which then causes me to just want to take a break. This is the state I'm in now lol I had to re-evaluate. It's kind of tough to explain this to people.
So recently I have created another YouTube channel. I currently have three haha One for my covers (singing covers), one of my animations and the last one is the most recent one, and it's for gameplays. I've been dedicating the past few months to creating content and editing it. Personally I wonder if this kind of makes me lazy! Yet the editing part is something similar to what I did in school, so I guess it's helpful that I'm at least still using it.
The issue is that I have a lot I'd like to do, and this overwhelms me. So I just stop altogether and give myself some time to gather myself back together and determine which is what I truly want to do. The gaming aspect helps because I mostly play story-driven games! It helps me feel motivated to get back into my craft.
I won't lie I've only picked up a pencil to draw a few sketches or jot down a quick idea. Yet, I guess, this is better than nothing.
My real issue, however, is just getting started. Once I get started I can usually sit for hours working on something. It's all about the timing I guess. But I think since spring is approaching my inner drive is picking up. I'm not sure what it is about the winter, but I'll feel pretty lethargic. I think it has to due with the lack of vitamin D from the sun during the winter months. I had this same issue a few years back when I was working. I found it very hard to function.
So maybe now that the sun is shining more my body will have more energy. At time when my energy is low I try to be gentle with myself. I know that it's not due to a lack of exercise as I've pushed myself to do cardio or low impact workouts over the winter months, so I assume it's a lack of vitamin D. One thing I try to do is just be patient with my body. It knows when it's tired and needs to rest.
Moving on, I actually did take a walk to the store recently. It wasn't my intention to pick up index cards, but a few days ago I was reading about story planning and using cards to help organize one's ideas. I've decided to pick back up on my webcomic first. Originally I put off working on my webcomic to work on my animation, but I found the animation required much more of my time and effort and I don't want to continue putting off my webcomic mid-chapter. Once I finish the current chapter, I will feel a bit better about putting it aside for a bit longer.
The issue is that for me I've always been pretty organic when it comes to my story-writing. I never use to plan. This is simply called free-writing...I think! So planning anything is something I have a tough time doing. I want to have a bit of structure, but not at the expense of my creativity. So I think having index cards and just seeing all my ideas on individual cards might help. Now the issue is not bein afraid or thinking that I will DO something the incorrect way and just DOING it.
I have this strange fear that I will mess up lol but I believe that creativity is a form of expression. Unlike with just drawing a picture, creating a story requires an understanding of pacing. I've been reading a bit about it and well it intimidates me lol My mind wants to continue the path I've always been on, the path of free writing, but I think that if I add in a bit of structure, it will help me improve. Just like with my drawings, there is always room for improvement and if I don't feel like I'm improving, then I'm not learning!
I think, more than anything, just trying something new can be a bit intimidating. But just like the first time I tried painting in high school, it simply requires just trying it and going with it. The brain is so weird lol Always worry about the smallest things but it takes self-motivation, so I'll continue to slowly make progress until I'm actually putting my ideas to paper.
Anyway, that's the update :) Thanks for reading~
Mon
