Hi!
So kind of tired at the moment. I'm thinking it has to do with the shifting weather. It's like the sky can't make up it's mind and this portion of the earth is wondering what season it wants to be.
Besides the constantly shift in temperature I'm still keeping my mind busy!
Recently I've been watching tutorials on Lynda and also following the tutorial for a Block Breaker game. It's not perfect, but I did go in and recreated the assets myself. It is pretty fun creating something that can not be interacted with as is, being placed in a game engine, and then becoming something that can be interacted with. Anyways, I'll be posting the simple little levels here eventually.
Honestly this is the same fascination that got me interested in animation! Well, Hayao Miyzaki's film Spirited Away got me interested in animation. However, I've come to find out I was impressed by his story-telling abilities through art than the actual animation process itself.
Although I went to school for animation, the decision to brush up on game design and what goes into it was also based off my curiosity. What I like most about having the foundation of animation as my major is that it's more story-driven. Being able to take the fact that I can animate in 2D and in 3D (though I have to brush up on both), I feel I incorporate these things.
Mostly these past few weeks have been me following along with tutorials, learning C# and reading books on the topics. I'm well aware that there's just so much material to cover for me to feel a tiny bit satisfied. Believe it or not I've always enjoyed learning, I just didn't like school lol I like learning what I find is interesting and when I find it interesting. I also enjoy truly understanding why something works the way it does.
The reason I'm doing all this reading is to gain an understanding of how games are made and why certain things are important to consider. I'm sure I can't learn everything, but while I'm job hunting I need to do something in my spare time.
I have a few sketches, but I'll be posting those on my Instagram (mon_monmia) So feel free to follow me there. At the moment I haven't actually sat down to create anything substantial. I can blame the fatigue, but it's more so out of just a slack lack of motivation. Something I enjoyed about school was being around other people who are also into the arts. Due to this slump I've resorted to simply sketching. It's better than doing nothing creative at all.
Despite not putting anything out, I feel that it's kinda worth it. I would rather truly be in the mood and create something I want to create without pressure than to create something halfheartedly. At the moment I have a sort of love/hate relationship with my creativity and art. I'm constantly battling with myself on what my mind is showing me versus what I'm producing on paper.
So because of this I've decided to just build my way up again. It's exciting, but it can also be a bit slow. Reading and learning new things take time. If there's anything I've learned from the authors, it is that planning is crucial.
Also the laptop I have won't allow me to do a lot of what I want. Hence why I'm looking for work. I'm limited on what I can do at the moment in 3D unfortunately and it's kind of thrown a rock in me trying to do anything more. I guess my hate towards art and my lack of motivation comes from this. It's tough to explain this to people because no matter how often I say it, it doesn't change the fact that I'm still limited somehow. So I can only be patient.This is something I push myself to understand.
I also understand that all the information in the world means nothing if I can't implement it and finish what I've started. I have a bunch of work I haven't completed. A few 2D animations I can't complete due to not having the means to do so (hence why I'm now just searching for a local job lol).
All in all, it can take a toll on me if I let it and I pretty much refuse to. Since I enjoy reading anyways, why not read and learn something new in the meantime?
So this has been me since the last blog. It's a bit scary and a little intimidating as I wonder what it would be like to work in the arts. I wonder if my work would be up to their standards. If I will feel fatigued or just weighted down and find it tough to work (this does happen sometimes).
To combat this I've made an effort to work or something for at least and hour or more everyday. As far as feeling my work isn't up to par, this is why I'm learning from the ground up, 3D modeling, texturing, etc. If I find a weakness or I find myself doubting myself, I find the answers and a solution. I never want to say "I'm not very good at this" when I've had the time to improve. If there's something I don't know, I'll go learn it. This is something I want to say with sincerity and confidence. It's also a motto I'd like to share with others. If you'd like to do something, but you don't know where to start, simply start and see where it takes you. Look online to see where other people have started, and if it doesn't work out at least you did something you were curious about because being curious and never at least taking that first step will lead you to wonder what could've been.
Some people would even say that your 20's are the perfect time to try out all kinds of jobs or new things. I don't feel this should apply only to my 20's but my entire life. If I stop at 30, what will I do with the rest of my life (if there is much left of it...morbid, but it's the truth)? lol
With all of this being said I go where my curiosity leads me. If I take an interest in something I watch it with excitement despite the possible work that comes with it. Had I not been this way I wouldn't have pursued art. Had I not been this way I wouldn't have taken a philosophy class in college and learn about Socrates (random I know lol). I'm never sure what knowing these things will do for me, but I know I enjoyed them very much.I don't ever want to stop! Life is full of so many people and things we can learn from, it's almost impossible to say I know everything, or even a quarter or anything. If I can incorporate my bouncing about from project to project with art, I think I'd be happy.
Mon
