I can't sleep and I have to get up to go to sleep at 5 a.m. It could be that I had coffee earlier yesterday, but honestly I think I'm just tired of my school. I'm tried of how I just can't be my creative self there and I'm tried of being told how I'm just not working like others. It's annoying to try to be made into something I'm not and it's taking a toll on me.
So I just emailed my teacher and told him I'm not coming in. It'd be a waste for me if I only get an hour or so of sleep. That can't be healthy at all. Besides, my mental state is kind of being kicked around like a volleyball and I just seriously need a break to put things in perspective. Recently a chain of events has caused me a bit of stress, but I've been managing and I know I need to find a way to cope with the situation.
Well, this isn't the first time this has happened. With or without coffee sometimes I'll get like this. It usually happens when I'm anxious or too excited and my mind just starts going. Sometimes during the night I'll flip over and suddenly my mind will start trying to piece together how I'll complete an assignment. Sometimes I'll even dream about working on homework! I'm like "wtf, am I a work-a-holic!"
It drives me nuts sometimes and I know I'll be irritated if I have to go to school and deal with the situation I told you about. It'll be wasting my time and energy. So this is more of necessity than me just whining. I should listen to my body for once.
On another note, that's pretty much all I've been doing is homework. I have to say I'm a little excited to be moving forward, but it kind of bugs me that my teacher said that I might just fail even though it's only the second week of class.That really bugs me. Perhaps I'll type about that in another blog.
I'm gonna try to sleep again. I need sleep! It must happen! lol I hope getting some of my thoughts out would help. Oh! By the way, while I'm trying to sleep, even the tiniest irregular noise will get my mind going lol Mainly I'll focus on that sound. Geez, right?
Mon
